What to ask DS for bed and board as student

[Orangesandlemons77]

DS (19) is starting university after the summer after taking a year out to work. He will be living at home and going to a local one.

Thing is, he's much better off than the rest of us atm, after having a 12K child trust fund, then working full time for most of the year (maybe 10K after buying a car and driving lessons) and now he will be getting about another 8K from student finance as we are not on a high income.

Given that he won't have to pay any rent as living at home, what do you think would be reasonable to charge for bed and board?

I'm on PIP and DH is self employed, but mid 50s and has a health condition so is not earning that much atm. We get a bit of tax credits but probably won't be changing to UC due to is being tricky with self employment (but may have to I suppose). Just now I'm using the PIP to get shopping etc, and seeking out bargains etc while DS is buying e.g. new phones and fancy perfumes for his gf.

Interest is pegged at inflation so in real terms doesn't increase. If he has spare money after taking the loan he can save it and will prob make a profit given interest rates are higher than RPI.

I wouldn't charge a child in full time education. This is your opportunity to get him set up and invest in his future
Perhaps ask him to do the occasional food shop otherwise he should be saving. He seems quite young not to be sharing with other students and his loan would be bigger to cover this?

I wouldn't ask.. however we manage we manage but we can't ask the kids if they are studying or in a full time training program

Agree with other posters you can't take loan money off him.

You can ask him to cover his food and additional electricity if you really must, out of his wages.

But ignore the bollocks that it's better to take the loan. A couple of hundred quid repayment out of a 25k salary is crippling to most young people who are trying to pay rent etc.

There are plenty of kids working gap year jobs or weekend/holiday jobs to pay for university, including food, utilities and rent. If OP charges nothing, it means her DS is better off than a DC who is studying away from home - at her expense.

Just because 'you're never going to pay it back' that doesn't mean having hundreds of pounds deducted from your salary forever is a good plan!!!!

Jesus.

When families are financially struggling everyone has to chip in. It’s only in recent years young adults have been given a wide birth of not actually contributing to the pot. This is ok for middle class family who can take the burden but on some struggling working class families it’s not. Yep there is actually families out there that struggle!

And tbh I think that’s a caused a huge wave of entitlement in young adults.

The reality is not many young adults will save for the future - too much fun to be had right now - but if your mum and dad could do with a bit of cash towards the food your eating or the energy your using - this is not an unreasonable request.

OP absolutely ask him to contribute if you need it. I would look carefully at what would help you. £100 a week does seem steep considering he is not working he will burn though that money quickly. I’d probably settle for £50 a week.

@WildSage great and realistic reply

I wouldn't be charging him anything. Dss is 27 and earns nearly £30k pays us £250 pm. I can't believe someone upthread suggesting charging your student DS £400 pm! That's insane.

I have one dc at home after graduating and one away at uni. I supported them both as a single parent, did not ask them for anything. They both worked/work part time whilst studying. Not a popular opinion though on MN!

wow what a very lucky young man!

But ignore the bollocks that it's better to take the loan. A couple of hundred quid repayment out of a 25k salary is crippling to most young people who are trying to pay rent etc.

But that won’t be happening, so no need to be hysterical.

Really? Most of his friends pay nothing so he feels hard done by.

Are you joking? You expect your son to support you and not buy fancy perfumes for his girlfriend?
Your son has worked hard and has done well and you sound jealous.

Nope.

She expects the third adult in the house to contribute towards supporting himself.

Taking student loan money is grim.
That's my opinion.

I also think he should be encouraged not to take out the full £8K. No point getting into debt if you don’t need to.

Leaving your parents to struggle to cover your bed and board whilst you buy expensive stuff is not on.

That’s my opinion.

But he hasn’t got his loan yet.

My understanding is that the DS is choosing to do this, OP isn’t pushing one way or another.

At 19, after a year working, it’s his choice.

That's far too much for a student to pay. I think about £50 A week would be the absolute maximum. Tbh you should have been charging him something last year when he was earning.

He has £22k of savings that can be used for his university years, plus possibly working weekends and holidays as a student ; not sure the loan is the key point here.

You quoted a pp who said “taking student loan money is grim”.

But yes, the bigger point here in my view is his future and that £22K he currently has could be beneficial for him after he graduates.

Goodness you’re not really going to ask him for 400 pounds a month are you? 😱

Absolutely. I’m shocked anyone suggested it and then the op rushed to jump on it.