Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

You get a lot of money, but unless you are claiming what you are not entitled to you should not feel "bad" - most people would claim money they were entitled to regardless of job or salary, and whether it's fair distribution of money or not which is the difficult question is down to the benefits policies ect.
If you are working / contributing as much as you can in your circumstances which you can't do anything to change at this point then that is all you can do - we have high level of welfare support in this country which is fortunate in your situation.

I guess a lot of working families in the children's centre may have an income which is significantly lower than your payments so you can see why openly sharing these figures may make some people feel shocked at the amount - and if you are aware that you may be in the company of families on low incomes some people may not openly share that they get a lot more.

The benefits even without the disability amount is very high..

I can see what you’re saying. When I’ve looked over the original figures, the disability element doesn’t seem much actually. I’d much prefer to see the disability element higher and the rest of it lower.

I’m astounded at how many people think this is a lifestyle choice. Caring for children with disabilities is an expensive grind. OP gets what she gets because that’s what it costs to pay for her children’s needs and their housing. I’m impressed she also manages to hold down a part time job. I assume she survives on very little sleep and almost no downtime at all.

The people asking what she will do when they are older are also assuming OP has a good lifestyle that she will miss. Her children will then be entitled to their own benefits but OP or another party may have to organise this for them if the child is not cognitively able. I assume if OP continues to care for the children, their benefits will contribute to household expenses. If they go into residential care, OP will probably move to different accommodation, possibly work more and have more rest time and opportunities to have leisure time. It will cost the state substantially more to pay for residential care.

As for those advocating a sweeping household benefit cap… that would either force disabled people into early residential care, endanger their lives or render their lives barely worth living. It’s not that much of a stretch to understand that some people live with complex disabilities that require ongoing complex care. Some of the attitudes on here are verging on eugenics.

Perhaps a key thing to remember is that OP gets money to help with rent.

How many of you have mortgages? Both rent and mortgages are expensive but renting is more insecure and there can be no end in sight. A lifetime of renting for many.

At least with a mortgage you have more security and an end in sight. At which point your housing costs will fall.

OP's eligibility for benefits will change as her disabled DC age.
OP will age and might be able to go back to full time work at some point but will struggle to have time to pay off a mortgage.

OP can't even save really to prepare for the days when everything will change due to savings rules.

Also benefits are really at the whim of the Government. Anything can change at any time.

We really aren't comparing like for like.

Good luck OP I wish you all the best and thanks for your kind comments about an idiotic comment made by a PP.

I am not knocking you ,I imagine it must be very hard with 2 DC with special needs .However it does seem an inordinatly large figure. Especially when people on good well paid FT jobs, are bringing home the same or less! I thought there was a cap on rental payments?

None suitable in my area at all for my child, mainstream or nothing, and every review was a fight to keep the current allocated hours, even though the school were working with us and crying out for more support from local government we couldn't get a full time TA even though everyone involved around us were in agreement that it was needed.

The hatred on here is sickening, until you have lived it you have no idea, asides from carer burnout the guilt of being a wreck of a mother and hated by society at large is enough to make us want out of this world.

Small correction op. Landlords don't purchase right to buy, Council tenants do. They are offered right to buy if applicable and once purchased are not allowed to sell their home for a certain amount of time. There after it's a homeowner selling the home at market value, there is no discount to the nee buyer. There is a misconception that all Landlords charge too much rent but if the property is still mortgaged (especially how things are now )Landlords have no choice but to raise the rent. Not to say that some Landlords aren't greedy but generally the majority of ppl are in the same boat if you rent privately or if you claim benefit to rent.

It is a lot of money and I can understand why some who work 5 days a week long hours , and earn the same amount may feel hard done by

Equally being a parent of a an child /ren is very demanding and hard and makes impossible to work full time

If you took off the disabled /sn elements it's obv a lot lower

Sure all those reading thinking wow - also be grateful if that's the right word - that your child has no sn /issues /will never need a life time of care and prob as a parent will worry what will happen to my child if I die and who will look after them

What people need to do theirselves

Is to check to see if renting if they get any help towards rent

Ans if have kids do check if get any money towards childcare help

If have a mortgage then won't get the rent obviously but get a higher work element which means can earn more money before losing some uc

What is seriously immoral here is that OP's home was previously social housing and her landlord bought it - instead of living in it as probably was the intention of the scheme, the landlord is now making a killing out of private rental which the government is paying. This is immoral, although clearly not illegal.

Perhaps right to buy should have been more robust - should have been "right to buy your home to live in" and if you sell it/rent it, you ought to have had to pay the market value, rather than the right to buy value.

The OP has done nothing wrong at all.

The system is fucked and the landlord has played the system and won.

The problem is that this country is economically crippled, and the ‘but I’m entitled to it’ attitude is a huge part of the problem.

Do I think that people who pay large amounts of tax should access the NHS? Absolutely yes. Do I think they should access food banks, for eg, because it’s not illegal? Absolutely not.

The benefits system was originally intended for those who had fallen on hard times and needed help to get back on their feet. It has morphed into a system that lots of people choose to use, rather than work full time, because the benefits system pays more.

If the OP needs the amount of benefit she claims to care for her children, then that’s what the system is for. But the OP is refusing to be transparent about her maintenance income, so it’s difficult to understand if she needs the money or is claiming it because she can.

@AnotherNameChange1233 Insane amount of money... just unreal.

It's NUTS that benefits pay out so much.

What was the point of your post OP?

I have one kid with hidden disabilities. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to work full time or get back to where I was on the career ladder - I can see a lifetime of part-time admin at best for me. I can't even forsee a time when he'll be independent and on his own.

We're lucky we have savings so we can't claim UC. Don't feel guilty about what you are claiming. Life is already really hard with two disabled kids and you shouldn't have to stress about rent, childcare and money too.

Don't feel bad OP. It's not your fault our system is awful. The big problem is pay is too low. I take home about the same amount as you after tax and I'm a middle leader in a school working full time. I'm a single income family. I absolutely would be ripped to pieces if I moaned about my low salary on mumsnet.

Bragging.

I'm not shocked because I've always known that people on benefits are recieving much much more money than people working hard.

I am appalled tbh and think that you should never receive more money on benefits than you should working and paying for your own rent/bills/childcare. That's just my take.

Needs a serious overhaul.

You're in a very tough situation so I don't begrudge you not being able to work and claim benefits but that is a LOT of money when compared to the general population.

Plenty of couples working full time won't be able to earn that figure that's why it will sting for so many people.

However well intentioned, I find it's best not to share details of your finances or discuss money with other people.

You chose to have three children, whereas she didn’t choose for her children to be disabled! Are you really begrudging the mother of disabled children the money to care for them properly?!

Jesus Christ! I’m gobsmacked by the amount. Why our some of us mugs working FT if we can get these amounts of money???
I would say I have always defended the benefits system, and paid a lot of tax, but I might have to rethink it.
We stopped at 2 kids because of £££.
This can’t be the norm, can it?
My dad was always going on about people claiming loads on benefits etc, I thought he was just being bigoted. Maybe not.

‘You chose to have three children,’

And OP had 5 kids foisted upon her? Where is/are the dad/s in all this?

The argument of they didn't ask to be born like this is a wasted one on me....did any of us ask to be born?

You've changed your gloating thread to one of pity and difficulty since I called you out on it.
Unfortunately that also doesn't wash with me, my son has a diagnosis (quite what good that does I'm still to ascertain), has tried to kill himself, been put into care due to violence etc etc, it's not a competition on whose life is/has been worse. I dont deserve a high financial reward because of my sons difficulties when I'm not putting anything back into society.

The crux of the issue and my comment is that the op is effectively bringing home well over 50k a year, and you were telling us how your kids get to do nice treats and go on fun days out a few times a month!

My response is, when I am at the thinnest edge of the wedge financially, am a single parent, don't see my kids, don't do fun days out - who and what am I working for? Is your kids happiness more important than mine?

Your working family members taxes are not ring fenced to support you and you alone, but if this makes you feel better about the situation then go for it. The reality is if my taxes aren't helping give your kids the nice life you merrily describe then they are enabling it for someone else.....at the expense of my own children. How you can see that as a fair scenario is beyond me.

The system is broken.

OP has two children.

OP I certainly don’t envy your position I was a carer at one point in my life and I just remember crying due to how tired I was. I was working and sharing the load with three others too.
My problem with benefits is those claiming fraudulently. For example, the average median income is very low. So a dad cannot support his family as he would have nothing to live off after expenses including rent. Those who say your rent is high need to visit rightmove. The mum’s wage can’t cover nursery fees so no point her working. So this couple pretend to be separated so the mum can look after the kids whilst pretending dad isn’t on the scene and claiming all the rent etc as a single mum. This is what happens far too much.
We need more affordable childcare and housing to reduce the rental crisis.

Def check it. Sounds like paye so they take a chunk thinking you will earn over the threshold over the year

means you will get a tax rebate but you do need to make sure you aren’t paying tax now as will never earn over £12570

For 2024 to 2025 the basic Personal Allowance will be £12,570 for the whole of the UK. The threshold (starting point) for PAYE is £242 per week (£1,048 per month). The emergency code is 1257L for all employees.

You should not feel in the slightest bit guilty. That financial safety net is there for the people that need it. It's hardly likely that this government errs on the side of generosity and so an assessment has been carried out and it's been determined that you NEED this.