Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

I would love to have a career and provide properly for my children. But I cannot. It is impossible.

Why have more than one then? If its the cnnsensus on here that children are a right, and everyone should have them, not just rich people, why are mutlipe children you cant afford, a right?

If you want the taxpayer to fund your lifestyle choice - because having children is a choice at the end of the day - why not stick at one?

Edit to add this is nothing to do with non-disabled or disabled children, its children full stop.

And if the OP was not caring for her children and they were in SS care they might cost up to £1,000 a week , each. So £8,000 a month. Want to do the maths?

I will do it for you as you seem to be hard of thinking. £416,000 a year.

Plus extra of course if they need hospital care which for example is often the case with children with severe disabilities where compromised movement leads to recurring chest infections, not to mention infections or problems with feeding tubes, picc lines, trachy tubes etc etc. Having a vigilant parent doing 1-1 care can often prevent extended hospital admissions.

OP and the other parents and carers who are doing the heavy lifting ( literally in many cases - back problems for carers are commonplace) are actually saving the irate tax payers on this thread billions of pounds a year. And in the meantime they are often compromising their own mental and physical health, their career prospects, their social lives……….

And for those asking why the OP doesn’t move to a cheaper rented property try searching for rented properties with full motorised wheelchair access, a wet room, space for storing equipment, hoists, specialised beds etc, if you think finding a rented property is difficult try finding one that offers adaptations for a child with disabilities who will grow into an adult with disabilities.

Apparently they used to take maintenance into account but so many men would not pay it that a lot of children ended up living in poverty because of the missed maintenance/ cut in benefits to accommodate the maintenence

I do think they should take maintenence into consideration but they would need to make sure the fathers actually paid the maintenence... and we have seen it time and time again that a lot of men would rather quit their jobs than pay maintenence for their kids, or go self employed and claim they earn a minimum amount so the maintenence is a pittance

I don’t get UC but my seriously disabled son started claiming UC ( I did as his appointee ) when he turned 21 . I actually wish I claimed sooner as the only thing I got until then to help was pip and child benefit . He now gets single rate UC and LCWRA that’s around £700 . So when the children turn adults they will get help . If op still has them then she can use the money to pay their expenses if not it will be up to the state to pay for their care which will undoubtedly be a lot more than what op gets now

I’m sorry but I really don’t know what to think.

I work really hard - and last tax year hit £60k and have to pay my child benefit back!! I’ve paid £11.5k in tax alone. But yet actually, if I just worked part time and spent my days enjoying myself instead, I’d probably come away with the same amount in benefits eh!! Nice one.

This whole 'it's a distraction' thing is insulting to intelligent people.

I can think that's an obscene amount of money for someone to get for not working and completely unfair on hardworking nurses and teachers (it's very likely the kids are at school so OP is at her leisure for large parts of most days). And I can ALSO think that the Tory government have behaved appallingly and not be one bit distracted from their evil misdeeds while in office. There's room in my head for both of these.

This 'Oh look they're distracting the sheep' rhetoric is weird. I think most people are capable of caring about multiple things at once and having all kinds of different opinions at the same time.

You do realise that it's having children with disabilities that pushes a lot of people into poverty? That people who's children have sn are more likely to be single parents as the stress causes many relationships to breakdown ?

Fuck me, the stupidity of some people on here. I hope none of them are having children, the last thing the world needs is more people like this

It doesn't seem right that instead of creating a system where fathers have no choice but to pay, they create a system where taxpayers foot the bill instead. Like the whole of society is forced to cover for the actions of feckless men.

@SwordToFlamethrower

You're being obtuse.

Accessing state education and healthcare is not on par with putting your kids in full time care facility.

The attitude I was objecting to was the idea that when a child is born, the state is the primary caregiver, not the parent and parents simply facilitate care on a cheaper basis.

At her leasure? She's probably either working, catching up on sleep or doing things around the house that she can't get done while the dc are there

If the children have those types of care needs then this is perhaps reasonable. Not all getting this kind of money truly have care needs this severe. Fundamentally children are their parents responsibility, not the states, although as a caring society we should aim to help people who are vulnerable we need to be clear about this.

no not really UC works on cash in and cash out so could be done easily. But would lose votes.

So again, if people are in poverty with a child/ren, why go on to have more children after that?

If you can't support your own child/ren, you shouldn't be having more after that.

@Ziggy30 It’s so difficult to get a place at a special school though. There are a couple of wonderful SEN schools within an hour radius of my town but both are completely full with a huge list of people wanting a place.

I had no idea my children had additional needs until this year. If I had known I would of not had either of them because of how much their brains are affected. There is only 22 months between my children too, so it's not like I had a 9 year old child with additional needs and decided to risk it for a "healthy one"

I had a perfectly happy normal baby and fell pregnant again and seemed to have another perfectly happy normal baby again. My biggest fear throughout my pregnancys was having a disabled child.

The guilt I feel for having them and not knowing that its my genetics that have played a part..... it's a good job that their here and seem happy because the guilt of it makes me want to kill myself. It honestly hurts my heart that part of my Gene's did this to them.

Even if I was a millionaire I would never have another child because I know they woulsnt be able to live a 100% normal life when their older

I'm a relatively high earner though I work part time, and have one child with significant needs, and one younger child with a few additional needs. We get DLA for him but nothing else (pay back most of child benefit).
Most of DS DLA goes towards:
Paying for a 1:1 carer to give us some respite (though we actually get direct payments now, we didn't for years).
Therapies for him and parent coaching for us (none of which is available through social services/NHS/education, in fact we train school in them!)
Outings where we need an extra adult for him but there are no free carers' tickets.
His original private diagnosis for ADHD (and if we decide to go down that route we will use it for private ASD assessment).
Things he breaks.
Getting his own equipment for activities that usually we'd share equipment (e.g. we got him his own helmet for the local disability snow sports sessions, because he got very upset with trying to fit several helmets at the facility, and the same for riding, and the snow sports one had to be new so we could send back the ones that didn't fit).
Paying for a full day of holiday activities where we actually take him for an hour, stay with him, and don't get a break/don't get to work.

It does cost more having a child with a disability. Both DCs are adopted and DS was quite young and his difficulties weren't as apparent when we adopted DD, plus they have both benefitted so much from having a sibling, so on balance it is better for both of them to be in a family with another child.
And DS doesn't particularly need additional equipment (except helmets/boots).

Who is going on to have more children?

No judgement here but just a observation.

A lot of people mentioning "but a big chunk of that goes to the landlord"

It's worth pointing out, so do many full time workers wages.. We gotta pay rent/mortgage too mind. Our rents etc are that high too!

OP. Best of luck to you, you're clearly doing all you can for your children to have a good Life and you shouldn't feel bad if what you're getting is within the rules. But fml, this country is really fucked.

I'm not saying slash benefits. But I feel full time professionals should be earning equal to those on benefits! We can dream, eh?

Our rent is 1300 a month for a 2 bed ex council flat because we private rent. It's ridiculous having to pay £15,000 a year to our landlord. Our parents and neighbours have £500-600 a month social rents in the same area because they were housed in the 90s. If we didn't have that rent then our UC top up would only be about 300 a month. They need to control the private rental market!

This. If people can’t live on average salaries then that is the problem. Private rents are far too high, unrealistic for many people on lower incomes. There’s a lot that needs fixing but it isn’t supporting a family with disabled children. If you took away that support you would end with a family in extreme poverty with disabled children. Some people here need to give their head a wobble.

*@Pullouw all children have the right to access childcare and an education. Some parents believe it isn’t suitable for their child but that is a choice. I have truly worked with some amazing SEND children with significant additional needs in a mainstream setting. These children cannot be refused and the school would be expected to make adjustments for them.

There are some absolutely amazing settings for SEND children in our country*

There are far fewer specialist education settings than there are children who need them, vanishingly few for children who are intellectually able but need developmental and emotional support. Places for specialist support are very, very hard to come by and support in mainstream is minimal. My DD is in specialist provision because mainstream settings could not keep her safe, academically the school is limited so I’m paying for specialist tutors to support her learning. It was the best option for her but certainly doesn’t meet her complex needs. The idea of a good enough education placement for all is an utter myth.

“Perhaps reasonable”

Your humanity almost shines through in that phrase.

I wouldn’t feel bad about getting benefits. The amounts are set at the lowest possible level to survive.

I’m more angry at my situation. I get less than you despite working two jobs, and I have to pay for everything myself (with the exception of tax free childcare that covers 1/6 of the total cost). My daughter also missed out on our top choice school because we aren’t on benefits, despite us living a 5 minute walk away. Then there’s all those layoffs being announced in the news. Work doesn’t pay enough and it’s really demoralising.

It's the kind of issue that whatever our view, the public only have acecdotal experience of so it's impossible to know how well the system is functioning against any reasonable benchmark. Perhaps those with the data could be more forthcoming/present it better before proposing changes.

I agree with this. People who are entitled should claim but it does stick in the craw.

I do begrudge the able who can work. I'm not happy funding them.