Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

SHE IS ONLY GETTING THAT MUCH BECAUSE HER CHILDREN ARE DISABLED.

read it and read it again. There’s nothing to be ‘disgusted’ about. She would be benefit capped if her children weren’t DISABLED. There are different rates of DLA, to get the highest amount your child needs to be severely DISABLED. Be angry at the millionaires not paying their tax. Or the government tossers handing out contracts to their mates - her £3k is a drop in the ocean compared to that.

I have 3 working parents ( one step ) and 3 working sisters whose husbands all work too. So out of 10 people in our family, 1 doesnt work.

So, realistically..... "your" taxes arnt paying for me and my family. It's more like my own family are paying taxes for us really isnt it, if that's how we're doing it

And my family dont mind. They know I'm unable to work, literally. Not an excuse, I would get sacked from any job for not being able to keep up or come in. I would love to have a career and provide properly for my children. But I cannot. It is impossible.

If your working fulltime and still in poverty then it's to look at the government to help change that and not from taking away from disabled children/parents to live in poverty

My children may have the funds to do somthing nice a few times a month but they also have conditions which make their lives very very difficult day to day. And that will be this way for them forever, life will always be very difficult for them and the people around them wont always be able to support their needs the older they get. Their childhood might be nice but I have no idea what their adulthood will be like other than it's going to be hard. So yes, I am grateful and lucky that they can have this nice time whilst their small because when they grow up, life is not going to be kind or easy and they didnt ask to be born like this

edited to add *

I want to add that my 9 and 7 year old have not been living the life of luxury, life is extremely difficult for both of them

My 9 year old has had counselling for the last 3 years due to trauma and PTSD. My son has so many additional needs hes had refwrels sent off left right and centre, he cant see properly, cant speak properly, falls over all the time and hurts himself. He spent his first birthday in a hostel and didnt have a permanent home until he was 4 years old ( we moved fleeing DV )

I will not feel bad for being able to give my children the nice childhood they deserve, we don't have fancy holidays, we have second hand clothes but a few times a month I can treat them to somthing that will bring a smile to their faces and let me feel a little less guilty for them, then I think that's okay

@Inyourgarden right cos every child with autism is the same.
And OP does work. If, for instance, she is up two thirds of the night, every night, with a child who literally barely sleeps, and has to sleep part of the day or not at all, and fits in work as well as all the work of care for her kids, should the state not help with that? Should she just get sick and die, in your worldview?

Sad bastards on here moaning about OP getting help cos they are bitter about their own low earning potential.

Banging on about how they "pay for OP" when they probably don't even earn enough to pay tax that covers their own and their family's healthcare and education 😂😂

Agree. It's time it needs a huge overhaul.

So, no schooling, no social services, no healthcare? Are you for real?

If you're entitled to claim, then I can't argue that so certainly not OP's fault. However, feels like a bit of a sick in the teeth - DH has had to retire for health reasons, but before that our joint income was less than OPs.

A comment was made that £1300 gets you no more than a dinky 3 bed property on a bad estate, admittedly we owned our house, but we couldn't we didn't have the funds to move our of our two bed house until our eldest was 14 - we had to cope in two beds, it wasn't expected that anyone else would accommodate us in a three bed.

@SwordToFlamethrower I agree. The tories have done a real job of demonising disabled people. I had someone on here say to me in a discussion about savings that I should be ashamed of myself for claiming PIP as I had savings - I only claimed a couple of years ago after developing a chronic disease that meant I had to give up work. My husband has a disability and has claimed DLA/PIP for years. The number of people over the years who have expressed resentment about disability benefits is staggering. I think people believe that the NHS hands out free wheelchairs when in fact my husband has forked out thousands over the years just to be mobile. Hell, before the Disability Discrimination Act came in, his car insurance was more than double mine, even though I was under 25. £900 to insure a Ford Fiesta in 1988.
I recommend everyone should read this book:

Crippled: Austerity and the Demonization of Disabled People amzn.eu/d/eJSiQfg

A sobering insight into present day attitudes.

That's a lot of money to be given. I didn't even realise people could claim anything near that amount. I thought there was a benefits cap. I can now understand why Sunak says he needs to get disability bills down. I don't really understand if the DC gets DLA why you also get additional money for disabled DC on UC? I do get that disabled DC might cost more but It's like you're credited twice for the same thing. Maybe that's what Sunak needs to look at.

@Livelovebehappy

If a child is not autistic then they are not going to be given an autism diagnosis. A professional has to assess them to make the decision. Ditto ADHD.

Secondly, DLA is based on the child’s needs. I get the highest rate for my son. Other autistic children will receive a much lower amount because their needs are lower. You have to provide evidence and it’s a long, stressful process.

Toomuch44 OP has said she would not get a three bed funded if she did not have disabled children, do you have disabled children?

I would be interested to know if you use all of this money for costs every month or do you have some left for savings?

If this money is absolutely essential, and the money for your children is definitely used to support their additional needs, then ok. But that amount of money, as others say is an incredible amount compared to a working wage… Do you have any “disposable income”?

How many people who don’t claim benefits do you think are minted and have stocks and shares? What a rubbish scenario

I accept that, but with that heavy work load/responsibility in mind, why would one have another child? Knowing that they are so compromised in terms of time, budget and affordability?

Many disabilities aren’t immediately apparent, some not evident until the child starts developing motor and verbal skills, by which time the second child is on the way. It’s often not til kids start school - or are half way through primary school - that additional needs become apparent. By that time you can’t send the second one back.

In my case I adopted two older children (in terms of adoption) whose needs weren’t entirely clear at the time of placement because there was also trauma in the mix. As it turns out they both have quite complex ongoing needs. I work full time, I’m more than able to meet their needs and my career was very well established before I had my children. I knew what I was getting in to and had a variety of contingency plans in place to manage various possible outcomes - the adoption process demands that you think about and plan for all possibilities. I know the formal processes for getting the right kind of support, I have expert knowledge of the challenges my kids face and the kind of support and treatment that will help. I was able to advocate for them from a standing start and have fought for the right services at the right time.

If I had got pregnant twice, close together, at a younger age (so less well established in my career), if I had assumed my kids would cope with mainstream schooling and childcare it would be very hard to pivot from that plan quickly enough to manage everything. If I had to learn about my child’s condition, navigate endless red tape and then find no practical help I’d be in a very different position and would need (and gladly accept) state help.

I want my taxes to fund those worse off than me. The alternative is infanticide, disabled children begging on the streets, squalor, crime, abuse. This is Britain in the 21st century where no child should be left behind.

What the hell!

I think some people commenting on here are not aware of the privilege of health. What do you expect OP to do?

How did I end up with children - plural - if I have no money to support them? To whose benefit is that? The disabled child/children living in poverty? People have choices and one of those is procreation (there are many others: education, travel, career). Is it okay for adults to refuse to accept their decisions have consequences?

Gosh, I have a PhD and work my tail off, working evenings and weekends, and I make £2300 a month with 20 years experience in my field. £3800 a month for me would be lifechanging!

Oh my God. You actually think the system should work so that someone who cannot earn more, because she is already doing a huge amount of work, should never have any "disposable income"? (Which doesn't mean just savings btw, it means things like Christmas, birthdays, recreation...)

You think the state should deliberately give those kids an awful life?

Then you, and everyone who thinks like you, are horrible.

If benefits is an income why wouldn't OP pay tax on the benefits?

There are some obvious ways to reduce the benefits bill, more generally but that also might apply to the OP,

One build more houses. Rents and house prices generally have gone up a lot. There is a housing shortage.

Two is fund nhs care for disabled children properly.

I worked as a teacher in a school that was the local hub school for children with physical disabilities. The NHS will provide wheelchairs for children but children grow, often quite fast and the NHS do not provide regular changes if wheelchair.

The children I worked with were often unable to walk or could walk only a few steps. Many of their parents had to set up gofundme's for their child's wheelchair.

I remember one child who was very severely disabled and had very limited movement needed a wheelchair that cost over 20k. The NHS agreed to contribute 1k and the parents embarked on organised using quiz nights, sponsored this that and the other, going on local radio etc to raise the money for their child's wheelchair.

Severely disabled children often have costs that are far far in excess of normal children costs.

I don't know if the OP's children are that severely disabled.

I do think that people of any age who need wheelchairs and hospital beds at home etc etc should be able to get them in a civilised society.

im actually disgusted at some of these replies. Suggesting that DLA for children is not justified, that there’s no reason for disabled children to need any extra money, that parents caring round-the-clock for disabled children have no excuse not to work full-time.

How on earth can you judge, especially if you’re not in that situation yourself.

And absolutely agree there’s a large spectrum, and those such as yourselves who clearly have a child with significant needs deserve every penny you can get. I’m talking about those whose child is high functioning, and causes minimal disruption in their lives, yet they feel they want a label.

@80smonster socially constructed eugenics then. Got it.

Agree with this.

OP, you're clearly entitled to the money, so nothing to feel bad or guilty about.

However, I must admit that I was shocked at the amount. I know nothing aout UC, but I often see on Mumsnet posts about how paltry it is, and how people can't survive on the payments. The amount you get seems manageable to me (it's certainly quite a bit more than I earn working full time). To be clear, I don't grudge you any of the payments - it's the law, and you're entitled to it - but I was pleasantly surprised by the amount, given everything I've heard about UC not being sufficient.

Oh for fucks sake David Cameron claimed dla for his child that had cerebral palsy and I’d bet my fucking pension that he’s got more savings than you.

I swear the governments only hope is to set us all against each other. If we’re bitching about people claiming pip, we’re not noticing the mod claiming their expenses

Out of work benefits account for 1% of the welfare budget. Disability payments account for 16%. If we’re going after welfare claimants it’s pensioners who are the enemy (joking) as they account for 42% of of welfare payments

getting people back to work is bollocks, it’s a drop in the ocean compared to pensions.