Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

You do realise that most people don't know in advance if they will have a severely disabled child requiring full time care?

This is a genuine question, what extra costs do you incur due to your kid having autism?

DLA is not means-tested though. My DH has a good job and decent salary. I still get about £850 per month for our disabled child. It doesn’t matter how high the household income is.

That’s not from tax payers is it?

me too, wow I didn't think it was possible to get that much in UC and I do claim UC myself for my 2 dc due to my low income but I receive less than £600 per month which I actually thought was a lot until I have seen this thread! I am gobsmacked too. It's not ops fault though and if she's entitled she may aswell take it.

I’ve had to give up full-time work so there’s the loss of earnings there. Then there is the fact you are pretty much an unpaid carer if you’re not receiving any extra benefits. My DS requires so much extra care throughout the day and night time. It IS a full-time job meeting those needs compared to typical children of the same age.

How anybody can be jealous or bitter or resent disability payments is beyond me

I’ve just worked out how to save myself £161,000 a year. More when you consider that we could downsize to a smaller home. We could probably be mortgage free and give up working. Blimey. It had never crossed my mind I could refuse to cover the costs. What a bloody fool I’ve been! Especially when we absolutely flogged ourselves, paying a second childcare mortgage of £1,600 a month, just so we could both work (to pay taxes).

Anyone that is angry about the amount the OP is receiving needs to look at their own children and question they would give their own children disabilities in exchange for the money ?

From the OP's elusiveness, i'm assuming that the Father does contribute and she's not declaring it (either to us or the authorities).

I don't feel bad at all. It's what I'm entitled to so why should I feel bad? A huge part of my benefits is due to me and my child going through a highly traumatic event that led to his leg being amputated.

I get £1700 a month UC (I have no childcare costs atm)

I get £737 every 4 weeks DLA (child on high rate for both elements)

And then I get £107.50 a week for child benefit + carer's allowance.

I think in total that amounts to roughly 35,571 a year and I'll be getting this for the next decade at least.

Yep. It really is unbelievable that some on benefits can be earning significantly more than someone in full time work who may not be entitled but struggling massively with col, and not entitled to help. But you’re not to blame - it’s the system. You only have to look at the huge recent outcry to the benefit changes being implemented by the government to see how people want to protect this little cash cow.

Autistic children can attend school, childminders etc, so why did you have to give up work?

Often wondered this myself, can totally understand if the Autism is severe but the average child I know who is diagnosed as autistic seem to be living normal lives and tbh you'd never know about the diagnosis.
Also why do adhd children require extra money? I know il be flamed for these comments but I'm just curious as to what the extra costs of adhd are etc.

@Iwishicouldflyhigh child maintenance usually makes no difference to UC award, it never has in my case with 50/week it's completely disregarded

I do wonder why there are such huge waiting lists for diagnosis and assessments for autism diagnosis. I think I’ve worked out why…..

This.

My DH is disabled with a degenerative spinal disease, can't work any of the jobs he's getting responses to as it could paralyze him. He's just been told he's entitled to zilch.

Hearing people are bringing in higher earner levels of money via bens when others can't even get anything to get by makes me sick.

My DH doesn't even want bens, he just wanted the access to courses or reduced course fees etc so he can get the certificate to do something he CAN do.

perhaps only rich people should have children? And their wonderful offspring can go on to do all the jobs society needs us to do.
No one plans on having a disabled child, the cost and effort is immense. That’s why historically they died early or went into a home.
Perhaps only people with 150k in the bank should be allowed to have children in case they have a birth associated brain hypoxia? Sounds great.

Obviously people should claim what they are entitled to. But I really don't think that they should be entitled to so much in comparison to the average salary in the country. The number of people who have to work full time in an average job to pay for OP's benefits is crazy.
When people say it doesn't affect the rest of the population, it does. That money would otherwise be used for health services, transport, education.

Would you put your children into
a home if you could not afford to feed or clothe them? Or they were lying in bed all day getting bedsores while you went to work?
I think that is the choice you are expecting people to make.

@Inyourgarden special schools don’t have any after-school wrap around care (at least none of them round here do).

I previously worked full-time when I just had my eldest child because family could help with childcare. I don’t have that option now because nobody can cope or manage with my autistic son. He has regular meltdowns, he can be violent, he needs WAY more care and supervision than a child of his age. As you can imagine this also means ‘just finding a childminder’ isn’t an option either.

On top of finding childcare being virtually impossible with a disabled child, I’m exhausted and burnt out from little sleep and constant caring. Working part-time means actually being able to function and be a decent enough parent for both of my kids.

If anyone is jealous then it’s beyond me.

I don't agree that we should be thinking of parenting like this. It's work but it isn't a job and shouldn't be thought of in terms of paid employment.

Children, primarily, are and should be the responsibility of the parents, not the state.

Not envious, you take what you can get to survive. But it just shows how screwed up our system is in comparison to working full time, especially those that are in degree standard professions (nurses, teachers, etc).

I am a full time teacher and you receive/earn nearly double what I take home a month when not on maternity leave. I am now on maternity leave and the rate of maternity pay is a definite struggle. It seems only people that aren’t struggling in this country are those on benefits!

I also have 2 children (fortunately not disabled) but as a country are we saying that those with a disability should access/receive more? Surely the benefits are to provide equal opportunities. But a lot of children that are not disabled are at a disadvantage because their parents have to work full time just to scrape by? Many not being able to afford or have the time for additional experiences, holidays, treats, etc. Whereas you receive all that money in benefits then can work part time and spend quality time with your children. My eldest has a medical condition that requires some hospital appointments but I have to take a day unpaid, travel costs and parking (and some minor adjustments/expenses to her day to day life) yet I don’t receive benefits for this.

Not saying this is you at all but my SIL never worked a day in her life and has 3 ‘disabled’ children to 3 different fathers. The children aren’t actually disabled at all - it’s all learnt behaviour’s that she has taught them in order to get more benefits. She proudly broadcasts her £5800 monthly ‘income’. And I know damn well she won’t be the only one. The system just encourages it. Then those that really need it are then frowned upon.

On the other hand I worked with a teacher that was born with one leg and had to have an arm amputated. Also does a vast amount of voluntary work and raises a young family - inc a disabled child. What an inspiration!

@Inyourgarden I feel your being disingenuous and quite frankly a bit dim.

Autism is a massive spectrum which affects each individual differently so no, not every autistic child can attend school, nursery and childminders.

My son who is suspected to have ASD (he has other medical problems which are genetic) has to have a reduced time table at nursery.

@Livelovebehappy believe me, it's not easy to get any diagnosis for a disabled child.

But yeah you're all right, us parents of disabled children fucking love it, it's amazing that my child can't walk, talk, change himself, suffers from pain everyday, hardly eats anything, has no friends and now has to be on a reduced time table at nursery just so I can work 10 hours less a week - I'm obviously living the dream.

Not all of them can. Autism is a massive spectrum.

And like I said it’s not rare for threads on here about autistic children at nursery biting or being disruptive, there is always a lot of support in those discussions that said child should be kept at home away from other children. Yet people are confused why it isn’t straightforward for parents/carers to work fulltime…