Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

a 2 bed council house brand new is £129 per week in my area

the cheapest 2 bed house to rent privately is £230, but you need to meet requirements of affordability

There is a shortage of social housing to allow the private rental to be £100 more per week, £5200 a year

If more social housing was built, that profit on homes would reduce without a need to implement laws on landlords

I accept that, but with that heavy work load/responsibility in mind, why would one have another child? Knowing that they are so compromised in terms of time, budget and affordability? Having one disabled child is a lifetime of parenting, some without an end point (as the child will always need a high level of care), having another child with this as a back drop feels like a lifestyle choice? I do not wish to undermine anyone who chooses to care for a disabled child, but should you or the state cover the cost of this endeavour?

Why should the children suffer because the father has behaved so badly that the mother doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore and then decides he doesnt want to support his children either? It's just not fair on the children is it

The father should never be able to choose not to support. One of the problems is that it’s quite easy for fathers to come up with ruses to get out of paying and the CMS is shit at enforcement.

I literally can’t believe people are begrudging two disabled children receiving money and support, even suggesting only specific equipment like wheelchairs should be funded?? Wtf.

Mumsnet attitudes to disabled kids is getting worse and worse.

There a plenty of children within the care system with disabilities and additional needs, that are looking for a permanent home. Maybe some of the posters on here that want the extra money could provide a home for them? (Obviously very tongue in cheek, these children deserve better than someone who would want them for financial "gain").

Just for full clarity, one of my DC is disabled. We did receive DLA for them when they were a child, they are now an adult and receive their own PIP. We received no other help such as tax credits or child benefit as we earned too much. I am grateful we didn't need the financial help, rather than begrudging someone who does.

Yes yes please vote conservative , you clearly love ableism and think dis led children should be in work homes or maybe prision where they visited £6 a day !! Shame on you

You have nothing to feel bad about at all. I can see why people feel angry though. My husband and I have less money than that coming in to our home each month and can only just about pay our bills but aren't entitled to any help. I am a teacher. I work four days a week but run my own tutoring business evenings.and during my 'day off' and my husband has his own business.

It isn't you that is in the wrong. It is the system that is messed up. As you say the housing situation is ridiculous. I don't know where you live, any my home is modest but your rent is almost three times my mortgage.

The government need to pay public sector workers much better and businesses should also be made to pay a living wage to workers. People who work full time (I know this doesn't apply to you) should not need to claim benefits. The government is subsidising the wage bills of businesses which is mad.

I honestly regret my choice to go to university, study incredibly hard and become a teacher because it isn't rewarded at all.

My nephew is quadriplegic is autistic and doesn't speak. My brother and his wife don't get anywhere near that level of support and do a lot of fundraising so yes i still think it is disgusting and outrageous that OP is getting so much money.

Do you not remember when children with disabilities were abandoned due to the families not being able to care for them? Not having the knowledge or money?
the state covered the cost of that endevour.
The state will cover it one way or another, this is the most efficient and cost effective and humane way.

Absolutely this! It’s the deliberate massive reduction of social housing that created demand on the private sector and pushed up rents. Blame government.

What are u talking about 😂

I never said it wasnt relating to ops thread.

I said I never mentioned anything about wanting to be in her position like you assumed.

Honestly, read the comments before you have a hissy fit.

It’s nit up to you to decide how many children others have ! No neeedbto even reply to the rest of your ableist post . Disabled also have a right to live

Care to enlighten us OP?

I doubt what you are saying . Your nephew will get high ela or pip on both mobility and daily care that alone is over £700 a month

Rtft re numbers of children and when they were diagnosed.

The OP has 2 children 4. I was confused myself but she did clarify this on another post.

I wondered if it would be that! That’s emergency code so will have been taking the 20% off. You need to get your employer to amend it. How long has it been that?! You may be due a large refund from hmrc. Usually they adjust peoples codes for the next year and then it is done that way but as you don’t pay tax you’ll need to call or write and then they’ll send you a cheque or transfer.

Very long rant ahead.

Consider the following scenario: A hypothetical person - Sue - Owns or has significant equity in the home in which they live. Sue also has has a great deal of money invested in stocks, shares, ETF's, defined benefit pension scheme, SIPP's, IFISA's and the like. Not only that, Sue is able to provide her family with a very comfortable lifestyle (holidays, vehicles, home renovations, luxury goods, the best clothes, private tuition, private healthcare, "home help"...) with enough left over not just to continue growing the investments but also to amass a non-trivial amount of ready cash. Nothing wrong with having a few quid, plenty of us do (although maybe not quite to that extent...)

Another hypothetical person - Charlie - isn't just metaphorically hard up, but quite literally has neither pot nor window. Charlie goes to the government, explains the situation, to which they say "Don't sweat it Charlie, we've got you. Here's four hundred quid so you can not quite starve to death - unless the you need a taxi for a doctors appointment in which case you're fcuked. Also eleven hundred quid so you can sleep in a rot infested bedsit with glass missing from the only window, instead of in a biffa bin!"

Back to Sue. Sue goes to the government and the bank proclaiming "Well yes, I have got all these nice things, but why aren't you giving me more? I deserve more things! For free! I DEMAND TO BE GIVENSO MUCH FREE MONEY THAT IT WILL BE NOT JUST LIFE CHANGING BENEFIT TO ME, BUT TO MULTIPLE GENERATIONS OF MY FAMILY TOO!! GIVE ME FREE HOUSES GOD DAMN YOU, CAN'T YOU SEE IM IN DESPERATE NEED AND THE BRITISH TAXPAYERS NEED TO GIVE ME EALL OF THEIR MONEY?!??!!?2!1?"

And now back to Charlie, who is genuinely grateful that he's got a whole month of living indoors and being able to buy his little bit of food instead of digging through the litter bins outside McD's, praying the next thing he puts his hand on is a stale chicken nugget rather than a used condom or a dirty needle. It's great, but he's going to need another £1k of taxpayer's money to put that roof over his head next month too. Next Year. Next decade. Why? Doesn't matter why. Maybe he's got disabilities either physical or mental. Maybe he just wasn't born like how some of us luckier people are. Maybe he was a soldier, maybe that's where luck ran out - we all get knocked around a bit wherever we go, but maybe Charlie is no longer able to do the only job he knows how anymore. Or maybe he's just lazy - it really doesn't matter why.

What matters is that Charlie will always need a roof over his head, exactly the same as you and I will, but due to the state of the housing market, it's beyond his ability to provide that himself. And if Charlie doesn't need that home, there will always be someone else who does. So when we know, either as an individual, a worker, or wtf ever capacity that we need a permanent solution to something that will never go away, what do we do? Do you rent a new pair of underpants every morning, or buy them outright and wash them because it's more economical in the long run?

One of the people in this situation is taking advantage of a government scheme meant to protect vulnerable people. One of them is exploiting a government run scheme for their own personal gain without the slightest care for the real-time consequences it has on everyone else. One of the people is rubbing their grubby little hands together with glee, dancing with joy because they're being gifted this thing that some people work and make sacrifices their whole lives for, without having to lift a finger. One of these people is scrounging off of the government and the honest, hardworking British taxpayer.

And the other one's name is Charlie.

That is all.

Well, exactly, it’s such a bizarre argument.

Absolutely this from a fellow single parent who works full time and is always broke

Two grand of the three grand op gets is for housing and childcare?

The pip is for adaptions and support for her kids.

What would you rather? They are in rags on the street? Gas Chambers?

What?

You could argue that if you have very limited resources the kindest thing you can do is not procreate. The planet is on its knees (more children isn’t the answer). People are making adult life choices and then recharging unaffordable parenting costs to the state - feels an unworkable model to me. Of course we should care for the sick and needy, but parents who do not have the means to adequately support their family should consider parenting very carefully. Not assume others taxes will meet this cost.

My brother has a job which makes him ineligible for the enormous income related support which OP has and it seems he and his wife would both have a better life if my brother didn't work so hard.

I don't want to reveal personal details and don't have to. My nephew was born 3 months premature, has had multiple operations, is almost 11 years old and my brother and his wife wake up at 5.30am in turns to exercise his muscles to help him with any form or prospect of mobility. They have an incredibly hard life which I don't envy.

Your scepticism doesn't reflect well on you.

People seriously need to get out of the mindset of "I am suffering so it's not fair that others aren't" and into the mindset of "why am I suffering and what needs to be done about it?". It isn't because people like the OP are on benefits.

I don't think UC should be more than a person working FT (40h/week) on NMW.

Having said that nobody is able to survive that long term. The issue needs to be resolved politically by changing the low wages matra and not by constantly increasing the in work/ out of work benefits.

You can't blame anyone for claiming what they are entitled to.