Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

I don't think attacking the op is helpful and she may well be a worthy recipient of help. Just shows how polarised our nation is becoming, which helps no-one ultimately.

She’s caring for two disabled children!

Oh and you only have to look at the many, many threads here where parents are complaining about the ND kid in their child’s school or nursery class with suggestions they should be kept at home for the other children’s safety and education rights 🙄 Yet you can’t understand why it’s harder for the parents of disabled children to work fill-time??

Do you think the op knew she would have 2 children with disabilities? Especially as she has already said they are close in age and it wasn't apparent that the 1st had additional needs when the second was born

I had to give up nursing when it became apparent that my youngest had SN, I was quite able to cover the costs of child rearing before that !

Had any of your children been disabled and your rent 3x that as the op you would get the same or more since you seem to have more children than the op . So once again , do you realise there the toll of having a disabled child , let alone 2 ?

By this logic, only around 20% of the population would be able to afford children.

We have under built housing for well over 40 years. The first wave of landlord tax changes came through in 2017. Prior to then, you were almost better off letting than occupying your home.

The government first set new housing targets in 2000 which we always fall well short of. The arcane planning system and the prevalence of national house builders are the issue not the Government being mean to landlords.

But a lot of men dont support their children once a relationship has broken down, we see it on here all the time.

Why should the children suffer because the father has behaved so badly that the mother doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore and then decides he doesnt want to support his children either? It's just not fair on the children is it,

It's so upsetting that people think like this. My children would live in poverty if we didnt have benefits. How is that fair to them? Even if I did work and earnt the same amount I receive now, we would still have less money as I'd have more to pay for and get less help with some Bill's

Absolutely disgusting.

I don't know why I pay tax or bother working when I see this.

Just fucking outrageous.

I don’t begrudge op her money, I said that. It’s good for everyone that there is a social safety net. What I do begrudge is struggling to afford the basics and working all the time to get by because of a col crisis fuelled by government who have propagated an economy that benefits landlords, the super-rich and no one else. It’s obscene.

@Morph22010 Thank you that is good to know. I have applied and I'm in the long awaited backlog. Hopefully something will come out of it.

This does seem a lot but I guess if you are entitled to it then that’s the end of it. I work 3 days a week and my husband works more than full time as he does lots of overtime but we don’t earn anything like that amount in a month and aren’t entitled to anything with 3 small children so it is a bit galling. We have a mortgage but being as we live in the north of Scotland it’s half your rent. We couldn’t afford to live where you do.

Its not about moving countries but about implementing the same in this country. It can be done and does work but the capitalists can't make as much money from its therefore until they are not in power it won't happen.

I know! A single mum receiving support from the government so her two disabled children can live a life without poverty? It is DISGUSTING I cant believe their helping disabled children.....

Honestly... where is everyones empathy

No, I don't. I currently receive about 900 because I have deductions and no housing costs as I own outright.
3.5 years ago due to temporary circumstances I was getting 2.3 k monthly which included rent on my old house. Don't feel guilty at all as we were entitled to it and kept a roof over our heads

You could adopt a couple of children with disabilities and be entitled to the same as the op

Why don't you try it if you think it's an easy option

I think that amount is absolutely shocking, it makes a joke about bothering to go to work for a living. Benefits definitely need an overhaul, the sooner the better.

You shouldn’t feel bad as you are claiming within the system and we would all do that if we could.

But this is a huge sum of money and way more that nearly all FT working people get, and more than a lot of working families.

Its easy to see how people feel hard done by who work and struggle on much less. We are in danger of losing our home and have had to cut back on everything. I’ve even stopped showering everyday to save money.

Although I know there are people on benefits who struggle. But in real life all the people I know on benefits have very comfortable lives. One, who after complaining bitterly about the benefits cap, then went on to chat about how she lives abroad for several months a year with her kids ( traveling, not staying with family or anything), the others have nice lives with lots of trips and mini holidays with the kids, run cars, take kids to lots of ( paid for) activities etc. Eat out etc. Benefits actually seem to enable them to have comfortable lives, more comfortable than working families without benefits,

And I know rents are high, but we all have high rents or mortgages. ( And to all the government excuses blaming landlords for this. It’s actually poor strategic housing policy by successive governments that has pushed demand onto the private sector, thus increasing rents, it’s a government failure. If government policy creates a high market demand then this is in inevitable result).

Absolutely disgusting that a single mother with disabled children (including one with Down's syndrome) who still works part time is given governmental support? What are benefits for if not for this situation? A bulk of the OP's income is specifically related to her childrens' disabilities and care needs. Anyone can have a disabled child - in doing so should you automatically have to sign yourself up for a lifetime of never having a meal out or day trip or new shoes again? Seems a great way to encourage people to have more babies at a time when we really need them to!

I think people need to educate themselves. If op worked more the children would need more time in a setting other than home , probably sen school , now those places cost the LA often more than £46000 a year , so that wouldn’t be 92k alone plus probably transport so way over 100k . As they grow that cost would highly increase . Do you not understand how using parents as carers is the cheapest way to the government ? Do you really think the government would be loosing money ? Unless you are all blaming the OP for having disabled children which is nothing more than pure Ableism .

Such a weird thread. If people receive large amount of support it’s because that support is needed. The cost of caring for two disabled children will level the playing field for those who have daft jealous thoughts. Nobody saves money on benefits. If you did you wouldn’t be eligible any more. I think people are just totally unaware of how much it REALLY costs to have a severely disabled child.

Don’t think of it as OP getting 48k in benefits for only working part time, see it as the government outsourcing the housing, food and 24/7 care of two disabled children for 24k each.
Without that money, OP would be working full time and her children would (with great sadness and regret) be in a children’s home, like it was in the past. At great expense and with much worse outcomes.
i think £48k is a good deal.

You know what? I'm sick of seeing sexism, ablism and jealousy on this forum.

This whole post has made me sick. A woman who works, despite having TWO DISABLED CHILDREN, is a single mum being told it is "disgusting" that she gets the financial support she needs to make the life she lives more bearable for her and her DISABLED children.

The attitudes are vile. One person actually saying they would happily have epilepsy in exchange for a few benefits money.

Shaming a mother for being a full time carer is the lowest of the low.

I joined this forum to learn from some of the great advice on here, but more and more it is being filled with cruel people with cruel values. So much bullying!

I've had enough. OP, NEVER feel bad. Keep doing what you need to do. Bless your children, bless the work you do.

Screw mumsnet. The sisterhood is dead.

I'm out.

The way you have worded this is gloating to me.
I am also a single parent yet I cannot take my kids out to do "nice" things or "treat days" as i work full time yet am in deficit every month. I only see them for a couple of hours a day as im out from 6.45-6pm, 5 days a week. I would qualify for a food bank as I have no money left at all.

Feels very uncomfortable to me that this is your mindset and I ask myself, what and who am I working for? Should I be glad that my taxes have made your kids lives so much better yet my kids have nothing?

Can't vote Conservative but can't vote Labour but the country is fucked if we are handing out money like this.

This is insane. No wonder people cross half way round the world and take illegal boats over the channel when they can get the equivalent of a 50k a year salary on benefits.

Benefits should be capped at much much lower levels.

You have to be very careful with google in that when parents actually apply for these things they get turned down or the wait lists are long. A lot of things should should or could get dont exist in reality. And the issue with 'basic' is that it can actually mean inadequete.

Its like respite. I know so many people awarded respite that doesnt actually exist as there are not enough carers out there.

I apparently have access to respite, which is a club for autistic children, which takes place after my son is in bed as its for a different age range. So its not really useable and because i havent accessed it, im down as refusing services and cant access anything else on offer from that team. So i have to pay for things that technically state offers.

Things like nappies are the same. Social care will pay for some but not enough. You get assessed as needing one a day but your adult size child gets through 6.