Feel wretched- mum died and i had debt in her nsne

[Draladat]

Morning,

I lost mum last week. It’s still so raw.

I have 2 credit cards in my mums name. She consented to this a while ago as I was unable to get a decent rate. I am a second card holder but the accounts are in her name. I make the payments via DD so it didn’t cost mum anything.

mum didn’t leave an estate. The property she lived in will automatically pass to my dad as they write joint tenants (rule of survivorship) along with any money in their joint account.

it looks as though the credit card debts will be written off. I don’t know why but I feel wretched about this. I feel as though. Need to pay it back out of respect. My dad thinks I’m daft and that we should just accept that it’s being written off.

I feel so awful

I have a loan in my dads name he said if he dies and I still owe on it I have to pay it back. I said I won’t as it will be written off. I will keep making the payments to my mum tho as it will make a difference to her. Hopefully that won’t happen because I want my dad to stick around but he was happier with that arrangement. I also work in banking so I knew it would be written off

Are you sure? That sounds v unusual. I woukd have thought 50% belongs to each of them

Exactly! Please don’t assume either that her estate has no assets, as joint assets are shared, or that the CC companies will forgive the debts. Tread very, very carefully OP.

I would want it in writing for peace of mind so,if you haven't got that already,then your dad could ask them to send it. Then keep it safe in case of any future issues.
I am second card holder on one of my husband's cards. Our card numbers are completely different as are the names. You can see who has spent what and when. Have they confirmed that every part of the debt is written off or ,if your mum used it now and then , are they writing off her named purchases but not . If theyve written all off it off then you have no need to feel guilty. Now that you don't have access to that card to help you will need to think of a different way to manage. That may cause you stress so, if the debt has gone, then allow yourself to accept this last thing from your mum that will help you enormously.
Very sorry for your loss x

We’ve checked and it’s correct. All of the money in the account belongs to both of them, so it can’t form part of moms estate

But that’s why 50% of the cash DOES form part of her estate - it's co-owned!

You're not quite grasping what people are saying OP. It doesn't form part of her estate, but that isn't the same as her having no assets. They have passed to your dad but the credit card company can apply any time over the next 5 years for a court order that allows them to reclaim their debt from the assets she had, even though they have gone to your dad. Having no estate is not the same as having no assets. Whether the card company will do so for 9k is a different matter, but they absolutely can if they choose to.

Money in a joint account isn't owned 50/50. It is 100% hers AND 100% his. Therefore, on death, it stays 100% the property of the survivor.

If Op is a secondary card holder is she liable at all?

I understand your point but we’ve checked and money in joint account passes to the other account holder without forming part of the persons estate.

Im so sorry @Draladat
Its early days and everything must still be so raw.

I would see it as her last gift to you.
A financial help that she couldn’t give you whilst alive but she has handed over to you from her grave.

If this happened and it was my child I'd want them to not pay the money back if they don't have to. Don't feel guilt, it's not negatively affecting anyone.

Well no because either one of them could take more than half/empty the account & I don't think the other could do anything about that.

If you were my child I would want you to accept the debt is paid off and not worry about it. I wouldn’t want you saving 9k up to pay the bank back!! It sounds like money is tight for you so just don’t worry about it. That’s what your mum would have wanted.

It depends if it is a joint credit card account or if she is just an additional card holder. If it is the former, then she is responsible for any charges she makes to the account. But if she is just an authorised card user, then it's all her mum's debt.

Op.

Your mum loved you and would want what was best for you.

She'd be thrilled that your debt was cancelled.

She wouldn't want you to feel guilty.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sure your mum would want you to see this debt reprieve as a tiny bright spot in the darkness of grief and be pleased out was something she could give you.

Ignore the posters who don't understand rules re formal joint ownership and how these therefore are not passed through the estate. Those rules absolutely do exist (particularly houses owned jointly rather than as tenants in common) and it sounds like you've done your research/ have had legal advice on this (if not, it may just be worth a quick chat with someone qualified, particularities if it's an insolvent estate).

My mum was single and died owing £5k to a debt consolidation charity. I had to settle the debt from her estate.
I'd be surprised if your mum's debt was written off just because she has a surviving partner.
You're not in the mind space to think about this now anyway. At least get the funeral etc over first.

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s awful isn’t it. Never felt pain like it.

I think that I would have to settle mums debts too if she was single, as her assets- the house and money in account would Form part of her estate.

If you read the op properly you will know that the estate has no assets. The house was joint tenants so went straight to her dad, the bank was a joint account which on the death of one account holder automatically becomes the property of the other account holder.
The credit card company has no alternative other to write the debt off if the op's mum had no assets in just her name.

NO IT ISNT

This isn't true. As has been explained just because someone's assets fall outside of the estate (as is the case here because they're owned jointly) that doesn't mean someone has no assets. The OPs mum has no estate, but she did have jointly owned assets. The credit card company are entitled, any time in the next five years, to apply for a court order to reclaim their debt from the joint assets. It is called an insolvency administration order.

Your mum was kind enough to help you as much as she could.

Please treat yourself with similar kindness 💐

Sorry for your loss, OP.

If I'd taken out credit in my mum's name before she died, she definitely wouldn't have wanted me to pay it off rather than let the bank or credit company write it off.

She was a proper old-school lefty though, and regarded banks as agents of capitalism.