Mortgage after divorce - what would you do?

[NorthGirlie]

Hi,
My marriage ended last year and we are currently at the stage of sorting out a financial settlement. I have 3 valuations booked for next week on the family home (mortgage free 4 bed detached house roughly work about £240-£250k).
Stbx has inherited property and has a bigger pension than mine due to being older than me and I worked part time for 12 years. Inherited property is ring fenced as he inherit after we split.
He is offering 50% of the family home so I’m looking at £120kish - possibly less once fees are deducted. I have the youngest child 100% of the time and he doesn’t pay maintenance. I hadn’t claimed due to living in the family home.
Anyway, there are some new houses being built in town £205k and £225k which would be ok for us (I’d need a 3 bed). These are both detached. I’d need a mortgage of up to £100k and this is what’s worrying me. I’d end up with very little disposable income (to a level I’d not sleep at night) paying this back as I need to pay it back in 10-15 years due to retirement age. I have worked hard and now a manager in my field but finding it stressful so I don’t want to be put in the position of having to stay in this role.
My stbx is mortgage free and will have his pension to himself (he paid AVCs throughout our marriage).
The houses that I am looking at are a good price for what they are and they’d take away the worry of house repairs for a good few years. There are only 2 houses available to reserve. I am thinking of reserving one tomorrow. Obviously, I can pull out if I need
to buy I’d lose the £500. I just feel like, without a financial settlement, I don’t know what I’ll get and, if I only get 50% of the family home, I will struggle in the future.
Id probably need an £80k mortgage tbh but worried about payments back at my age - 50. I’ve been mortgage free a few years now.

Shall I reserve the house or wait? I don’t thing anything at this price will be available soon and his solicitor is pushing me to get the house on the market. The new houses aren’t ready until August.

@RandomMess

He'll have to cash in some of his pension or get a mortgage like everyone else 🤷🏽‍♀️

I doubt he’d get a mortgage as he’s over 60

With a good loan to equity yes you can!

You live in north east England. He could sell the house and cash in c. £30k if equity and buy a house in many villages and towns all over the region. Including in not shit areas of Newcastle.

Stop feeling sorry for him. There’s a big pool of assets and you’ve got all the costs.

You need proper impartial advice, and the inheritance if he's already named and probate granted is not irrelevant

[quote Citygirl2019]@NorthGirlie everyone is saying the same, you asked for advice. I hope you act on what's been shared for the sake of yourself and children.

You mention your health. When I split with my ex five years ago I never expected the recent cancer diagnosis. I am so thankful I'd learnt from friends around me and I am financially in a secure position. No one knows what life is going to throw our way. [/quote]
I hope you’re getting the support that you need. I know what you mean about you don’t know what is around the corner. This worries me too.

@NorthGirlie I have amazing friends and other support networks. If I'd gone with what my ex originally offered and o was seriously considering, financially I'd be in a much worse position than I am now. He wanted 50/50 not including pensions. I was advised against that by my solicitor and finally got a 70/30 split.

It did change slightly before we finalised. He got made redundant, so the pension split ended up not being as high.

It is not too late to change this outcome for you and your DC.

He wants half the value of the family home to pay the £90k to his sibling.

he wants his his cake and to eat it, ffs he's a greedy bastard

@ivykaty44

He wants half the value of the family home to pay the £90k to his sibling.

he wants his his cake and to eat it, ffs he's a greedy bastard

Actually he wants to keep the whole inherited house, have the OP pay his sister £90k from the house equity and then give him another £35k of equity. And to keep his entire pension. And not have to pay a penny for his children.

He wants to come out of this far, far better off than the OP.

This is what my original financial solicitor emailed me last spring. She seemed more on the ball but my current financial solicitor is asking what mortgage I can afford on a 50% split of the house only. Doesn’t seem to consider mine, nor my daughter’s, needs.

This is an email from way back…

In relation to your husband’s inheritance, the reason why this is not considered a matrimonial asset strictly speaking and ring fenced is because it is clear that this was received following your separation. As you may recall from our initial discussions, marital assets are assets that you have from the date of your marriage until date of separation, however assets acquired following separation prior to the divorce completing would be considered as assets available for the party has acquired or inherited it. This essentially means that whilst your husband may be able to ring fence the property as a non-matrimonial asset, when looking at each parties needs and obligations the court will take into account that he has somewhere to live, therefore his capital needs for a property for example would not be a priority. When looking at assets acquired post separation the court looks at active or passive growth of such assets and the value of the same. For example, if you were to purchase a property using funds saved up during your marriage, then that may be considered a matrimonial asset. Whereas, if you could prove that a property was purchased using savings following separation or savings received by way of inheritance, then the court generally deems that to be non-matrimonial.

Why is your solicitor ignore pensions, with DC to house and a long marriage the fact he paid some in prior to living with you is usually pretty much discounted because you married and legally pooled assets purchased prior to that point.

Current solicitor email…

In respect of inheritance received post separation, this will usually be kept out of the matrimonial pot for division but can be used to meet needs if absolutely necessary. It may therefore be difficult to argue that this should be included within the negotiations.

I’ve also noticed the inheritance is double to what I thought as it could include savings that I wasn’t aware of. So, that’s £180k inheritance which some will be in the property.

…
As you still have the children residing with you (particularly your younger child) this will be the Court’s paramount consideration and may result in a greater share of the available assets in your favour to take this into account. Further, consideration should be given to equalising the available pensions. This can either be done by way of a pension share or ‘offsetting’ the value of the pension against the available capital from the sale of the house to provide you with more liquid capital to enable you to suitably rehouse yourself.

So he has £180k of inheritance. He has the £90k to buy his sister out already. Doesn’t he?

He wants to keep his mortgage free house, get half the equity in the former marital home and keep his £300k pension. And not to pay maintenance for the child who does not live with him at all.

While you have to scrimp to try to house yourself and your children. That’s about as far from fair as possible.

www.debenhamsottaway.co.uk/news/2020/09/sharing-assets-acquired-following-separation-divorce/

However, the overriding question, which will determine most cases, is whether the parties’ needs can be met without sharing the assets acquired post separation. If both parties cannot re-house, for example, then even an asset acquired since separation by one party is likely to be taken into account when orders are made about how the property and money should be divided, regardless of their source or link to the marriage.

your needs cannot be met, you're unable to get this mortgage and your ex wants to sell the FMH to pay for the other half of his inheritance to house him alone

Your solicitor sounds shite.

My divorce was similar in that XH wanted everything. It ended up like this... figures rounded.

His pension £300k mine 50k
His salary £48,000 mine £13,000
House equity £200k
His savings £30,000
Mine £23,000

So l offset his pension with the house equity. He also gave me a pension sharing order of £20,000. I gave him £26,000 in cash as he was entitled to cash.

Plus there was other stuff agreed in the Consent Order in regards financial support with the DC.
It worked out 51% to me.

I’ve arranged a telephone call with my solicitor next week. I’ll see where they sit on the fence and, if I feel they are not going to fight in my defence, I will change solicitor. I really don’t want to be struggling for money in the future just because I was the one who pulled the plug on the marriage (and, I had good reasons to do so). I don’t want him to struggle either but I don’t see why he should end up with a nice savings pot and me scrimping and saving! Especially when I was the one who pushed forward in my career (doing courses in my own time etc.) while he sat about and stayed at the same level (hence why I ended up going back full time). He was given money by someone else - it wasn’t money he earned as an individual. And, yes, I am angry he is quite willing to allow his youngest child to lose her current lifestyle.

@ScreamIntoTheWind
I had a barrister as he did. I always regret they didn't suggest some sort of deal. I'm sure it could have been done.
It was 25 years ago.
My my it was tough. I didn't pursue him about cm as he was a dodgy prick. Dobbing him in to HMRC I believed would have been detrimental to my DC's and my own mental health.

25 years ago I think many things were different. Today the court will start from the assumption that the nonresident parent is paying CM (as per the bloody calculator of weird assumptions).

@ScreamIntoTheWind

25 years ago I think many things were different. Today the court will start from the assumption that the nonresident parent is paying CM (as per the bloody calculator of weird assumptions).

He became a cropper anyway. It's way back. Such.a.liar. Karma got him 🤷

Hi,
An update on my first post. I’ve had the house valued by 3 estate agents and all 3 have valued it at more than what I thought it would be worth which is good. Thanks have sent the valuations to the solicitor who will forward to his solicitor. My solicitor has also put in a counter letter to their offer of a 50% split of the family home and that’s it - so no share of his pension etc. This would leave him with roughly 70% of assets.
As the youngest child is residing with me and had - until recently - refused to stay with him I would’ve been entitled to a bigger share as I will be thrust into the breadline if I have to pay large mortgage payments at my age. As I said, the youngest has been reluctant to stay with him. He has, of course, manipulated her by buying her a puppy (a dog she’s always wanted) which stays at his house. So, of course, she is not staying there and has done for the past week! I have asked them to bring her back tonight but where do I stand now? I am furious he has bought this puppy and she knows I don’t want a dog as I have a very stressful job and don’t want to deal with a puppy after work, plus I need to keep the house nice for viewings (when I get the go-ahead to put it on the market) and I don’t want to be tied with a dog as I want to get away for weekends now I’m getting older. He is making it look like the puppy needs her to care for it!
Where do I stand now? We are at the financial settlement stages! He is already trying to fleece me.
Both kids can’t see what he’s doing. I look like the mean one!

Forgot to say that the solicitor has advised against going to court due the the cost.

That should say she has stayed there and has done for the past week

Let her stay there and look after the puppy tbh.