Mortgage after divorce - what would you do?

[NorthGirlie]

Hi,
My marriage ended last year and we are currently at the stage of sorting out a financial settlement. I have 3 valuations booked for next week on the family home (mortgage free 4 bed detached house roughly work about £240-£250k).
Stbx has inherited property and has a bigger pension than mine due to being older than me and I worked part time for 12 years. Inherited property is ring fenced as he inherit after we split.
He is offering 50% of the family home so I’m looking at £120kish - possibly less once fees are deducted. I have the youngest child 100% of the time and he doesn’t pay maintenance. I hadn’t claimed due to living in the family home.
Anyway, there are some new houses being built in town £205k and £225k which would be ok for us (I’d need a 3 bed). These are both detached. I’d need a mortgage of up to £100k and this is what’s worrying me. I’d end up with very little disposable income (to a level I’d not sleep at night) paying this back as I need to pay it back in 10-15 years due to retirement age. I have worked hard and now a manager in my field but finding it stressful so I don’t want to be put in the position of having to stay in this role.
My stbx is mortgage free and will have his pension to himself (he paid AVCs throughout our marriage).
The houses that I am looking at are a good price for what they are and they’d take away the worry of house repairs for a good few years. There are only 2 houses available to reserve. I am thinking of reserving one tomorrow. Obviously, I can pull out if I need
to buy I’d lose the £500. I just feel like, without a financial settlement, I don’t know what I’ll get and, if I only get 50% of the family home, I will struggle in the future.
Id probably need an £80k mortgage tbh but worried about payments back at my age - 50. I’ve been mortgage free a few years now.

Shall I reserve the house or wait? I don’t thing anything at this price will be available soon and his solicitor is pushing me to get the house on the market. The new houses aren’t ready until August.

His pension is currently worth just under £300k. Mine is £140k.

@inheritancetrack

by inheriting property post divorce i mean you have no claim on it. if it was before the divorce it should go into the pot unless ring fenced.

We aren’t through the divorce process yet. What exactly does ‘ring-fenced’ mean? It can’t be touched?

@NorthGirlie I would list all the points raised here and send them to your solicitor. If they do not support you I'd change solicitors. It is important you get the settlement your entitled too to support you're self and DC.

Also, you should claim maintenance for your DC.

@EveryCloudIsGrey

How old are your other kids?

Eldest is 18, youngest 13

So house 245k
His pension 300k
Yours 140k
Plus he has half of another property.

He wants to keep all his pension, all his second property and take half the marital home. Plus he doesn’t pay maintenance. I’m surprised he’s not asking for half your pension too!

He’s a bit of a money grabber isn’t he?

Ask for recommendations for a shit hot solicitor.

I can't believe the pensions are not being included. Yes he would have added to his before you married, but you made sacrifices by going part time to raise your DC. Your solicitor should be arguing this. You are being seriously short changed if it stays as you proposed.

Claim every single penny the law entitles you too.

Money grabber won’t pay for weddings/grandchildren or education in the Future - this is your one and only chance to get your Full entitlement.

Your youngest is with you 100% of the time. That means your housing needs include the need to house the child that won’t even visit his house. And presumably the 18 year old too.

His pension is worth more than the house. As people predicted.

@Justsaying22

I work for a divorce solicitor. If the absolute hasn’t been pronounced then the inheritance is definitely still in the pot and is not ring fenced. Have you both swapped form Es showing full financial disclosure?

We haven’t done the ‘E’ form but have given financial disclosure to both of our solicitors. Is this something I should be doing?

His pension has been paid 11-12 years longer than mine. He has paid AVC’s into his pension throughout our marriage, even when I was part time. I was part time for 12 years (worked 2.5 days a week, jumping to 3 days towards the end). I returned full time a few years ago and went for promotion, which I got.

I once joking asked him one day, years ago, why he was paying so much into his pension and he said ‘in case you leave’.

You don’t sound confident in your solicitor.

Your husband is taking the piss. He’s not housing the children but he wants over 60% of the assets and to keep his inherited property ring fenced.

[quote Citygirl2019]@NorthGirlie I would list all the points raised here and send them to your solicitor. If they do not support you I'd change solicitors. It is important you get the settlement your entitled too to support you're self and DC.

Also, you should claim maintenance for your DC. [/quote]
I think I will write things down - good idea.

I haven’t applied for CM as I am currently living in the family home with the youngest child (eldest splits his time between the two houses) and, as the house is mortgage free, I felt guilty asking him for money.

He’s not feeling guilty about trying to fleece you. Is he?

The inherited property is to be shared with his sibling so he needs to buy her out with the proceeds of the sale from the family home.

No, he also isn’t considering the fact his youngest child will be living with a lot less money in the pot than we have now. I’m not rich but certainly comfortable. We have a nice car, a nice holiday booked and plenty of days out etc. If I end up paying most of my disposable income on another mortgage then all of this will stop. I grew up with a single mother living on the breadline. I do not want this for my kids. Hence why I went to university etc.

My solicitor just keeps saying that the starting point is 50/50 but then passes letters on from his solicitor saying the inherited property is ring fenced and his pension was being paid into for over a decade before we married.

@NorthGirlie you are being fleeced by your ex. You need to stand firm and be clear what you need to provide for your DC. Your uni DC will need a home to come to in the holidays and financial support.

Is your ex paying rent/mortgage at the moment? If he is not, I'd make a maintenance claim. Why are you responsible for everything financially for your DC?

Your solicitor doesn't seem to be promoting your interest s

He is trying his luck.

Starting point is 50% of everything.

The house
Your pension
His pension
Any savings, shares investments
His half of the house he has inherited (unless it's in a trust, its still an asset)

Add that all up, and divide by 2.....That is the starting point, and THEN you take onto consideration individual needs to make adjustments....which will go in your favour as you are housing the children.

You need a Rotweiler of a solicitor....you get one shot at this....don't settle for less.

You may even find you can stay in the family home if you trade your rights to his pension/ inheritance.

It's not just for you it's for the children too.

Your solicitor is lazy and incompetent, get rid of him and find someone who knows how to do their job.

@Maxiedog123

Your solicitor doesn't seem to be promoting your interest s

I’d change solicitor. Honestly you need proper advice about your needs and what the court will consider.

If you lived together before marriage, then that counts as part of the relationship. Your eldest is 18. So we are likely talking 20+ Years together. His pension will count. All of it.

@NorthGirlie

The inherited property is to be shared with his sibling so he needs to buy her out with the proceeds of the sale from the family home.

They could sell the property and he could buy a two bedroom place that meets his needs. I’m guessing still mortgage free.

To answer your original question, no I wouldn't make any plans to buy elsewhere I would stay put until the financials are signed and sealed. You may well be able to remain in the family home either by buying your husband out at some point in the future when your youngest reaches adulthood or now if you can agree a settlement. Moving incurs far more costs that people realize, costs that are not always factored into the settlement like legal fees, moving fees, new furnishings and fittings. Have you ruled out mediation? Its a cheaper quicker and efficient way to work out the likely financial picture. Courts welcome it and it might serve to give you a more even picture of what could be awarded in the final settlement. The point of mediation is to help couples work things out without massive legal costs - you could also then ask for costs if your husband prefers to push it through the courts rather than coming to a mediated solution.

Even if inheritance is ring fenced pensions most certainly are not. They go into melting pot. You will need more than 50 percent of equity in house as you are housing children. Claim maintenance, if you don't need it now save it for your son for when he goes to uni. Don't try sorting it out between yourself or you will lose out. Get a good solicitor. It is the best investment you will ever make.