Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

AIBU- Sister is angry i wont sell my share of the house!

190 replies

CollegeDoctor · 20/10/2021 00:43

DH and I are in great need of the hive mind. So last year due to issues with our father, we , my mother and brother and I. Purchased a home for my mother to live in. We asked dear sister to contribute, however she had'nt got the money at the time so could'nt. SO fast forward a year and a pandemic and the property value has increased by £40,000. Dsister came back and asked if she could purchase the house from us, i stupidly said yes and that she could do it at the price we bought at. (i really didnt think she would get all her ducks in a row)

Fast forward 2 months and she has and now wants to proceed to conveyancing. I know i was wrong to lead her on and promise, but i don't want to sell as the property is certain to continuing appreciating. What should i do ? What would you do?
Dsister is very angry that i have wasted her time.

OP posts:
PinkWaferBiscuit · 20/10/2021 07:19

@CollegeDoctor

well the Hive has spoken and I will act accordingly. Thank you for all the responses.
Are you not going to clarify how your brother and mother's money is protected in this? What's to stop you selling the house and just pocketing all their money?
Whinge · 20/10/2021 07:19

@CollegeDoctor

well the Hive has spoken and I will act accordingly. Thank you for all the responses.
Hopefully by honouring your original agreement and selling your share, since your sister managed to meet the terms you put in place.
onelittlefrog · 20/10/2021 07:24

I don't understand why you would say this to your sister in the first place if you didn't mean it.

She has got the money together because of what you said. To then not follow through with what you said is really shitty.

Garriet · 20/10/2021 07:30

@CollegeDoctor

to add a small detail, our mother is not in any immediate or long term danger, nor has she ever been. She is not vulnerable, but needed a place to live closer to work and family. My sister will not kick her out, there is no issues with the relationship between my sister and mother.
If this purchase had been done fairly and properly, she wouldn’t be able to kick her out anyway because your mother would be a part owner of the house, as she legally and morally should be anyway given that she contributed.

As it is, it sounds like you’re ripping off your family.

TheTeenageYears · 20/10/2021 07:31

Offering in the first place was really silly but there are so many other factors to consider which have huge financial consequences. You will have paid increased stamp duty to purchase as you already owned property. If she now buys as her first home she will have to pay the additional purchase on a subsequent property. Capital gains, solicitors fees etc. The costs could be huge.

tempester28 · 20/10/2021 07:32

Offer to let her in with an equal share with the rest of the family - then you all benefit

HeronLanyon · 20/10/2021 07:32

Op madisonbridges wasn’t being alarmist to my eye at all. She was setting out how this looks reading your posts and trying to understand what looks a very messy possibly irregular situation. Surely you (and your DH) and you brother have ensured your mothers use of the jointly owned property is protected ?? How on earth could you even contemplate selling your share without all of you being absolutely sure what effect this would have on the other registered owners/resident.
You’ve said something totally unthought through to your sister and now it’s coming home to roost.
If it were me I would see her and her DH with an abject apology. They have incurred costs. With your DH I would try to work out how to reimburse your sister for reasonable costs incurred as a direct result of your leading her on a wild goose chase.
Longer term the arrangements for the use of/sale of any share by anyone/right or your mum to live there during her lifetime/what can trigger a sale of the property and how proceeds are to be distributed and costs of sale shared/who is responsible for maintenance and improvements and how these are to be agreed and funded. Given your posts it feels as though somehow these may not have been sorted out or understood ?

hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 07:35

You thought it was ok to send your sister on a wild goose chase because it made you look good. And you thought it was OK to sell your share of the house to your sister unsure of whether she'd turf your mother out or not. And you think I'm being unreasonable?
This. Not to mention it’s your THIRD property Hmm Have you tried not treating houses like they’re Monopoly, and people like they’re just pawns to cast you in a good light?

NutellaEllaElla · 20/10/2021 07:37

Why is she not buying her own house???

CliffsofMohair · 20/10/2021 07:39

@CollegeDoctor

to add a small detail, our mother is not in any immediate or long term danger, nor has she ever been. She is not vulnerable, but needed a place to live closer to work and family. My sister will not kick her out, there is no issues with the relationship between my sister and mother.
You are staggeringly naive. That house would form part of your (or sister’s) marital assets in event of divorce/death/whatever. She would have no rights to live in the property she paid for (it sounds like)
KaptainKaveman · 20/10/2021 07:40

@CollegeDoctor

well the Hive has spoken and I will act accordingly. Thank you for all the responses.
Go got what you asked for, OP. Hmm
BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 20/10/2021 07:44

It would have been perfectly reasonable to say no to your sister but it was very strange for you to say yes, just to look good, when you had no intention of following through.

Do you often day things you don't mean?

Branleuse · 20/10/2021 07:46

Tell her that youve had legal advice and realised that would be selling yourselves and your own children short so have to rescind original offer.
Is there anything else youd accept like her buying a share, but not buying you out?

Garriet · 20/10/2021 07:49

@Branleuse

Tell her that youve had legal advice and realised that would be selling yourselves and your own children short so have to rescind original offer. Is there anything else youd accept like her buying a share, but not buying you out?
Yes maybe she too could buy a mythical “share” while the property remains sitting in OP’s name, and add to the list of family members ripe for exploitation.
CSJobseeker · 20/10/2021 07:49

There's a moral here - don't make commitments that you have no intention of keeping. You have caused this whole issue by saying you'd sell at the old price. Your sister simply took you at your word.

You need to be clear that you won't sell, and accept that you've fucked your relationship with your sister. Your doing, not hers.

C8H10N4O2 · 20/10/2021 07:51

So last year due to issues with our father, we , my mother and brother and I. Purchased a home for my mother to live in

Why did you take your mother's and brother's money to buy a property in your own names? Then you have offered to sell the property from underneath them to your sister, then pulled out late so that she is annoyed because you can make more money by sitting on it in your name?

Well that is one way to build a property portfolio I suppose, but I'm glad I don't have dealings with you.

CSJobseeker · 20/10/2021 07:51

However, if you bought the house with your mum and brother, why are they not on the deeds? Why is it in you and your DH's name? Have you got it set up to legally protect them, or is this all just on trust?

Your word clearly doesn't mean very much so I'd be worried if I was them.

IAAP · 20/10/2021 07:54

Offer to buy it 4 ways? If you all have a 1/3 value it and work out what a 1/4 is and buy it 4 ways. Houses go up and they may yet come down massively

IAAP · 20/10/2021 07:55

Ps you also have to agree with your mother and brother if they financially contributed

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 20/10/2021 07:56

I agree with a pp. it absolutely does sound like you are ripping off your family.

Frazzledbutcalm · 20/10/2021 07:59

Doesn’t matter what you choose to do - it’s a disaster waiting to happen all round 🤷🏻‍♀️
3 of you bought a house yet it is only in 1 of those names plus a husband 🤨

Quartz2208 · 20/10/2021 08:01

So last year your sister couldn’t so a property was bought presumably with three tenants in common

Now your sister has enough money with her husband to buy a share at the price it was and wishes to buy your share

Why - to live there or not that is key

Legitimatesalvage · 20/10/2021 08:01

You can only share your share of it. You could sell it for more than you paid, but you wont get 40k profit. You're share of the profit is 13k.
Could your sister find an extra 13k to add? She only needs to pay you your share plus the extra 13k.

Unless I'm wrong and you're trying to charge her the entire cost of the house? Which you didnt pay and she wont even be buying the whole house. She is only getting a share of it.

What exactly is it that you're doing?

EdgeOfTheSky · 20/10/2021 08:01

You can’t sell her the whole house that has your Mum and brother’s money in it, surely?

Is she talking about buying your share, or the whole house?

And when you say ‘in your name’ do you mean that ownership of the whole house is in your name, your name alone on the deeds?

It would be a huge break in trust to put your Mum and Brothers money in someone else’s name,

It all sounds like a nightmare, legally and financially.

What do your Mum and brother think?

Legitimatesalvage · 20/10/2021 08:02

And why is your husband's name on it?

If you died, he would get the house which doesnt belong to him. It's your family's.

Are your brother and mother legally protected? Are their shares protected?