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Original poster

family of 5 living in SE on £30K can we afford £6K per year for ds1's school or am I bonkers?

240 replies

thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 22:12

I have done the sums and I think we could survive month to month.

but

we are currently on 51K per year.

for ds1 to go to this school we have to move house (and to another county) housing costs would be the same but we would have less money due to change in job and have the school fees to pay.

it would not be forever as I am currently a sahm and will have earning power one day. also dh's new job would earn him more in years to come.

does this sound do-able?

I'm well up for it!

please tell me if I'm looking through rose tinted specks?

OP posts:
DarthVader · 26/11/2007 17:51

Oooh the houses are great!
Flamesparrow is indeed amazing on the food budgeting, but if you search some archive mumsnet threads there are lots about how to feed a family on around £50 a week. I don't think organic fits this budget though unless you grow your own, but as Flamesparrow says, local produce probably will. You could get an allottment or an allottment shared with another family though.

One option would be to factor in some treats - so if you could budget at £50 a week, you could spend £100 once a month for a "luxury" food budget and still spend less than £300 a month in total. Then the £100 you save from your £400 food budget could go towards a holiday or other luxury - maybe even for savings! The soap nuts remind me of another homemade washing powder that I think is called "gloop"!!??? Someone on here will remember it and the recipe to make it! Most cleaning products can be created from vinegar/bicarb/lemon juice/newspaper etc and of course there is the mooncup . I'm not doing too well with mine .

Hopefully it was worth asking mumsnet advice for the moneysavingexpert link alone...but I think it is fair to say that your priorities in life are probably very different to many of the posters who have responded and who have a more materialistic/conventional approach to life. Have you discussed your ideas with friends in RL?
Darth
x

chocolateteapot · 26/11/2007 18:08

Well now you've posted where you're looking I can be of a little bit more help. There is loads to do round there for free or very little cost eg the New forest , beaches. There are also good farm shops and a market good for fruit and veg etc. The quality of life here is very good. And the average wage is lower than what you are proposing to live on.

There is also a good selection of cottage hospitals you could look at working in when you are ready to work again. I am pretty sure that a lot of families here (I am only a few miles from where you are talking about) are on much lower salaries than the majority of the SE.

I have changed my mind and from where you are talking about and what you have said about your life style, I think although very tight,you can do it.

Flamesparrow · 26/11/2007 18:13

Not sure I could do my budget there tbh (just seen where you are looking) - shops pricier iirc

chocolateteapot · 26/11/2007 18:23

You can comfortably do it on £250 a month for food though. I've found use 3 farm shops for meat & eggs, comes to about £17 a week. There is a farm shop linked with the Steiner shop which does veg. Plus the market.

Flamesparrow · 26/11/2007 18:24

Good point - I was working on my budget

SecondhandRose · 26/11/2007 18:30

I havent read it all but there is alot more to be taken into account with private schools not just fees. Most of the children will be privileged and have all the latest gadgets, fab holidays, designer gear and luxurious homes. If you are happy with that then fine but I think you are bonkers. We had two children in private school and now only have one because of the costs.

lemonaid · 26/11/2007 18:38

This is a Steiner school, though, SecondhandRose, so that's less likely to be an issue (gadgets in particular aren't very Steiner-y).

SecondhandRose · 26/11/2007 18:41

Bikes are gadgets, I don't just mean machines. People are very competitive - the right car, the right job, who you know not what you know. Private schools are full of it.

CharlieAndLolasMummy · 26/11/2007 18:45

Oh god this is a LOOOONG thread.

I know about Steiner schools though and here are my thoughs, sorry if they have been covered.

  1. If you are scraping by to get your kid into a Steiner school, you won't be alone. A LOT of families will be living on a pretty similar income. Depending on the school of course-which one is it, do we know?
  1. Gadgets etc are not really a problem, actually its pretty much a sign of uncleanliness and so forth to have a PSP or whatever they are called.
  1. Are you sure that £6000 is the minimum contribution? Normally (but dep on the school_ you would have an interview with the trustees or treasurer or similar and thrash out how much you can pay. Some schools might accept help etc in lieu of fees.
  1. Steiner schools often have absurd waiting lists, especially at 7ish when kids transfer from kindergartens. Do you KNOW that your kid has a place?
  1. You will have to deal with Steiner alpha mums, my god, are you ready ?
LOVEMYMUM · 26/11/2007 19:24

You sound very determined and appear to have made up your mind but after reading posts about higher education i have to say the following:

What happens if your children need money for higher education that you just don't have cos you spent it on private education? I know you say that your children will work but if what if they can't find jobs? Will you have money to support them or will you have to say: "Sorry, can't be done". Also, will this scheme leave you with money for your pension? I can't help feeling that you are so gung-ho about the school that you will do anything to prove that it financially it can be done.

I'm not attacking you and i'm not jealous of your plans. My DH and I could well be in the same boat due to lack of primary school places in the state sector. My friends have applied to 5 schools for their 3 year-old daughter and 3 have refused - even the one 10 minutes walk away (oversubscribed due to siblings!).

Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 19:34

good on you flame for your efforts. you most certainly have an end in sight. will we? I don't know.. there is most certainly a goal though.

I'm just going to go and check out your debt-free07 thread now

OP posts:
Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 19:40

wow another page full! hang on, lots to reply to
(am very honoured to have so much help on this one)

OP posts:
Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 19:54

darth, totally with you. also loving the idea of mixing up a bit of luxury and budget shopping, dh will go for that too. yet to try out a mooncup, but needs must.

cholcolate teapot are you connected with the school in anyway? if so we may know the same people... dh's family are in and around there. New forest is stunning and if we moved there we would have family on our doorstep as well as other familly a lot closer than they are now.

charlieandlola...
it is the ringwood school, mostly low incomes with the odd wealthy family. £6000 is def the minimum for class 4 (aged 8/9) there are 2 places for ds1's age atm.

I know nothing of steiner alpha mums -I think you ought to tell me..... (!)

lovemymum, I guess that I am determined to prove to myself that we can do it, and I am willing to give up a lot in order to get this for my kids.
I think it is hard to understand though unless you feel the same way about steiner education, I would find it hard to understand why anyone would do this for any other type of private school for example, but if it is what they beleived was right for their kids then so-be-it.

OP posts:
LOVEMYMUM · 26/11/2007 20:02

I think this thread will run and run.

Just don't sacrifice their higher ed for private ed. I know a family who put their kids through private ed and then found themselves in v difficult circumstances later on with regards to their own lives (pension, mortgatge etc).

BUT it is your life and i hope all goes well. I just don't want you to be in a situation where you find yourself saying, "If only we hadn't spent all the money".

Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 20:05

LMM, thank you for your advice, it is all helpful and I do take on board what you are saying.

OP posts:
Walnutshell · 26/11/2007 20:30

Have read most of this and skipped some parts (I've got to practise my piano, you know, can't hang out on MN all day!)

Anyway, for what it's worth: if my dh and I hadn't taken the plunge and followed our dreams we would never have relocated as we did this year and opened up for ourselves what is so far unfolding into a wonderful life with lots of opportunities - not without problems too of course, but they occur whatever you do and are much easier to deal with when you are happy with life on balance. It may not seem much to some but for us it was the start of realising our own potential in life and providing the setting for the life that we would like to provide for our ds.

I think you have answered your own question through the course of this thread and I wish you every success.

aefondkiss · 26/11/2007 20:48

I could save you £500 a month, but it would mean moving to Scotland where rents are obv much lower than in the SE of E, much less alpha mum stuff, you could holiday in the great outdoors, surely a very Steiner thing to do...

we are a family of 4 living on similar to what you are proposing to live on... we are saving money, but we certainly don't spend much money on holidays, presents, party bags ... our billls are very low, because we live in a small, rented house, electricity bill is £135 per quarter(we don't have gas) we have a wood burner stove and get free wood from local recycling place.... (my children don't go to the local steiner school...)

I think if I gave up alcohol and some other luxuries we prob could afford it, if I had a pt job...

you do get a discount for siblings at Steiner schools...

is there no way you could work pt, in order to boost your income?

DaphneHarvey · 26/11/2007 21:03

You have obviously made up your mind newgirl, but do think you are looking through rose tinted "specks".

Our family (of 4) have double your net income and have no luxuries, okay maybe the occasional indulgence (such as a night out), definitely no rampant consumerism here. I hate shopping and hate throw-away culture too, luckily. We have to be very careful with money. Even if we wanted to, we could not pay school fees for our children.

I need a new watch, for instance. My last one cost £45 and I bought it 12 years ago with birthday money. This year, I'll be having a new one for Christmas. Just saw a nice one today £39.99. That will be my Christmas present from my DH and kids.

CharlieAndLolasMummy · 26/11/2007 21:14

oooh steiner alpha mums...

I don't know how much you've had to do with steiner schools. If its a lot and you've not noticed the alpha mums then... probably not something that is going to affect you.

But if not-ok we are talking of competative arnica taking, as in "my kid was REALLY REALLY at death's door, seeing gnomes, etc etc and a small swig of this very non-potent arnica brought him round".

There will also be competative felt bird making. Oh and depending on the school, it can be very important that you drive a very old Volvo. AND you will need to wear a lot of stripes. Stock up on the stripes. And also knitted handwarmers.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 21:29

walnutshell that was lovely to read, I would love to hear about your 'plunge' is there somewhere I can search for an old thread if you havn't got time to tell me as you are busy making music?

afondkiss scotland would be dh's dream if only his family were all there too...
I will work very part-time but also childmind too, I need to be around for my children though, for that I am certain of.
daphne, I am baffled by how you can have 60k net income without luxuries and not have spare cash. I'm not doubting you or critisising by any means but I think it highlights the huge difference in peoples spending and perception of how much money is 'enough'. Unless you have a huge mortgage or something 60k sounds like loads. (we have 50k + currently and could easilly afford the fees if the school were here, but unfortunatley we can't move dh's job, even if we wanted to. if only someone would open a stener school nearby...)

it's all very interesting though...

OP posts:
Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 21:40

charlieandlola,

that is by far and away the best advice I have had on this thread, no best advice ever. made dh and I lol!
no, I'm not in that gang, although I love their kind.
I do however loves stripes, my ds's are the talk of this quaint little southdowns village that we live in. I save my stripes for special occasions but to be able to step out in stripes willy nilly, well.. decision made!

hmmm...the homeopathy lot I can handle with a pinch of sulpher

as for felt bird making.....
I'll leave that one to dh, he was dragged up the steiner way so he must be expert, though I have never witnessed his felting skills, there are no ends to his talents...(he went to seiner school don't you know )

OP posts:
Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 21:41

how local to the school are you charlieandlola?

OP posts:
SueW · 26/11/2007 22:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 26/11/2007 22:08

(or just always be late like me )

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 26/11/2007 22:15

If you spend 6k annually on one kid I think you need to be able to spend that on the others or it isnt fair

Just my opinion!