family of 5 living in SE on £30K can we afford £6K per year for ds1's school or am I bonkers?

[thenewgirl]

I have done the sums and I think we could survive month to month.

but

we are currently on 51K per year.

for ds1 to go to this school we have to move house (and to another county) housing costs would be the same but we would have less money due to change in job and have the school fees to pay.

it would not be forever as I am currently a sahm and will have earning power one day. also dh's new job would earn him more in years to come.

does this sound do-able?

I'm well up for it!

please tell me if I'm looking through rose tinted specks?

I mean obviously. The word isn't as effective!

what's the news, thenewgirl, share some thoughts!

Have read the whole thread and realised that no-one thought to mention saving money every month for higher education (university fees) and putting money aside to help children get on the property ladder.

thenewgirl, please don't factor in money that you haven't earned yet - especially from a rental property. What if you have a void?

bafflebb is right - i wear glasses and have done since i was eight. I had three new pairs in one year when i was 12 or 13 and it cost my parents a lot of money. I would say to overestimate how much money you need rather than cut it down to the bare minimum.

well darth, it looks like we need to try and stay put until next october, that way we can get ourselves into a really good financial position for leaving.

there is no doubt in my mind that we will go for it then, whatever the critics say, I know we can do it! we have been back to the school yesterday and had a chat re. finances, the teacher we met with deals with new admissions as is very senior and explained somthing that I had already, kind of, thought... that is that steiner are a charity and will not insist on the full 'fee' as is it not a fee it is a contribution. If, when you first come to the school, you have not very much money but with earning potential, AND (this is the important bit..) you wil be coming to join the community of the school and have other things to contribute other than just money then that is the most important thing. as well as being able to show a strong conection to the school (as we do have) she seemed to think that we would have no problems getiing in, based on all that I told her.

in the meantime it is an extreme money makeover for us, with a little help from the moneysavingexpert.com!!

I am extremely excited about it all.

(wow he is fantastic!?)
it might be hard to understand for some but it is very steinery way!

all I have to do now is manifest dh's job to start in october.... that one is a bit trickier.

LMM dh and I both went through uni without help from parents, I wouldn't have expected their help at all, let alone help for the property ladder, It isn't something I would want from them, and if I have it for my kids when they need it, and they want it from me, well then that is fine. but I would rather give them what they need now if I can, if it comes down to choice.

Hi,
I just wanted to ask, is your property near where you want to move to? Is it an option to move into it seeing as you've been paying off the mortgage?
You said your mother will help out with fees, so how much would you have to find? Does the 6000 a yr include her contribution.
I think if this is what you want for your children then you will manage. We all make some sacrifices for our kids.

hi mummcgoo,
our house isn't near enough to the school, sadly, and we couldn't afford to sell up and buy near the school as the same house would probably cost an extra £80K crazilly enough.
my mum is able to contribute £40 per month, every penny helps.

I agree that we ill just manage, if we can see a genuine and good reason as to why we are skint then I think I can live with that.

I have done a mn search on household budget and I have found some interesting reading...
It seems that there are many, many MNetters who are considerably better off than us already, and so I am wondering if I attracted opinion of the 'wealthier' amongst us with my thread title (mentioning school fees perhaps). this might explain why I initially had so many negative comments about my grand plan...?

Thing is, TNG, that university when your children are there is likely to be very different in financial terms than when you or your DH were there. Who has any idea what the system will be like in 10-15 years time? You may well have to pay the lot......

Hi newgirl.

I'm glad you've reached a decision but please bear in mind what lazylinepainterjane says re. changes in the system.

What if one of your children wants to do medicine or another type of course which has very short holidays and long hours during term-time which means that it may be very hard to earn money as well as studying hard. My brother and nephew did/are doing medicine and it would be IMPOSSIBLE without family financial help. I'm not trying to put you off your choice of school - that is totally your decision - i just don't want anyone to sacrifice higher education for a private primary/secondary education.

Not quite sure what you mean but maybe there are other Mnetters who do have a higher net income and yet still feel the pinch when things such as school fees come into the financial equation so are only out to caution you.

liz -I probably worded that badly, I was trying to say that I had read a couple of past MN threads on income, such as one about minimum income for family in the SE; I placed myself very much in the minority of opinion as the majority seemed to assess living costs in the SE to be far greater than I would percieve them to be.

here is one

I guess people have very different ideas of what it means to have enough money. my brother is always 'skint' he is single and the poor darling earns more than we do!
he is always amazed at the way we spend (or don't spend) for example.

lovemymum and lazyline - I guess I just feel very different to you on that one, I didn't have time to work much outside of my uni hours, I had 5 years at uni and for three of them I had ds. I struggled but at no point would I have expected my parents to pay, nor did dh expect his folks to pay. they helped out where they could but by no means did they pay towards it. both of them could have done but my theory is that I could manage so why should they? yes we got into debt and we worked hard to pay it off.

I have a very strong belief that my children will reach their destiny in life. I feel it is more important that they spend their childhod in an environment that will celebrate their childishness and allow them to explore the wonder that is life, in the absence of the national curriculum.

Sure, the whole uni system might change, but my kids will be able to make decisions for themselves in the current situation they find themselves in. I trust them. If I can help them, of course I will -if they want it. but I would not consider sacrifising their steiner education in order to save for university/property ladder for three young adults who will be able to make their own choices.

it is getting into dodgy territory but again, I am ware that my opinion is perhaps of the minority but is also very steineresque.

gosh that was long winded.

I guess what I should have said was that I would prioritise steiner schooling over having uni savings. as it is a case of one or the other it seems.

I can't understand why you asked anyone's opinion tbh - you sound as though you are going to go ahead anyway? fwiw, we earn alot more than you and find school fees a stretch.

I didn't follow the sums but everyone else seems sure that the budget is very very tight. Only you can know if you could stand it. For me, the question would be for how long? I can tolerate belt tightening in the short term but after a while, I know I'd get well and truly sick of it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

thanks nkf, you are right that it will be a test of time but we do have a bit more flexibility in the future -will have assets to sell etc.

pollyana, surprisingly this thread has helped me to see that this is something we want to go for. but I guess that if you find school fees a stretch but continue to choose an indipendent school for your children then you and I are not too dissimilar.

Newgirl, I pay for school fees for one of my children. One has just started at a state school. I moved here a year ago and couldn't find a state school for my dd - I didn't plan for her to be in a private school at year 1.

I think you should go for it if it is really really important to you, but don't underestimate the expense (which only goes up) and the other expenses of living, and from my brief run through the thread, it doesn't seem as though you have considered all living expenses.

If you read back pollyanna, I have talked about fee structure at steiner and it is probably very different to your childs private school. I do appreciate your concern but I am confident now.
are there no state schools around you or are there no state schools that you would choose to send dd to?

I agree with pollyanna You do need to calculate your living expenses and then add 50% for other eventualities.My oldest friend has a dp with a whopping salary and they find the school fees a real strain.

Hi. Well done on having thought it out all out so well. Am glad you didn't just cross your fingers and hope for the best. Hope your children enjoy their new school and the financial plans go according to plan.

It probably doesn't seem too important now as your children are quite young, but I'd echo what others are saying about future further education costs.

We're working on the presumption that even at today's prices, we'll need to earmark £40k to get our ds through a 3 year degree course based on £3k pa tuition fees, £5k pa accomodation, £3k pa transport (basic car), plus books, clothes etc £2k pa, and that's with him getting a part time job for beer money. It's not like the old days with grants etc, I think tuition fees are only going to go up and we may need to ringfence considerably more than the current £40k, just for one child.

Having said all that, I hope everything works out for you, and that your backup plan of selling your buy to let works out if that becomes necessary. You sound very committed to getting a Steiner education for your children and whilst it may not suit everyone, good on you for sticking to what you believe in.

I'd be interested to know where in the country (roughly) you'd be moving to where you can get a 3 bed house for £900 pm!

Not sure why people seem shocked at being able to rent for £900pcm, we rent at just over £500 for 3 beds in a nice area. (not in the south)

Re:university fees. It's easy to think that because you did it without financial help from your parents it is possible for everyone. What if your child doesn't get a place in halls? I rented in a very expensive town where my rent was £250 a month and my student loan was only £3000 a year! I got no family help and there were no grants. I had a part time job but could only get work in a club so was knackered. Needless to say, I didn't last long.

Don't forget that your childrens university education will likely be means tested based on your income. So whilst you might not have made financial provision for your children on the basis that they can cope alone, student loads don't give a toss about that. All they see is your income, assume that you can help financially and allocate a lower loan accordingly.

PainterJane, the relevant part of your post was not in the south. We pay a LOT more than you for a small 2-bed place in a nice area. I've checked market rents in the local property mag, and we're not getting ripped off, it really does cost that much for housing in the south.

PainterJane, the relevant part of your post was not in the south. We pay a LOT more than you for a small 2-bed place in a nice area. I've checked market rents in the local property mag, and we're not getting ripped off, it really does cost that much for housing in the south.

Oops, sorry about the double-post, computer is slow today.

tng - In my opinion you do have rose-tinted specs, but I'm sure that people have done it, they've just had to give up a lot of other things. All the advice to start living on the budget now is excellent. You seem very determined, so good luck!

I get that MTM, but people were asking "where in the country" could you find rent like that. I responded.

I was not suggesting that there was any ripping off being done. I know people that live in the south, I know how much it costs down there.