family of 5 living in SE on £30K can we afford £6K per year for ds1's school or am I bonkers?

[thenewgirl]

I have done the sums and I think we could survive month to month.

but

we are currently on 51K per year.

for ds1 to go to this school we have to move house (and to another county) housing costs would be the same but we would have less money due to change in job and have the school fees to pay.

it would not be forever as I am currently a sahm and will have earning power one day. also dh's new job would earn him more in years to come.

does this sound do-able?

I'm well up for it!

please tell me if I'm looking through rose tinted specks?

Sorry, we lived in the SE with a joint income of around £52K and it just brought us to our knees, £200 pocket money, forget it. Living expenses were through the roof, and we weren't flash. Only £120 council tax, we pay more than that for a one bedroom flat in Harlow these days. £6,000 a year is probably what you'd dole out on childcare if you were working, but if you're not working it's going to be really, really hard. It's no fun counting the pennies every month and stressing whenever an unexpected bill comes in. It's easy to put things down on paper, but you've got to be realistic and put things down like car repairs that could hit you, or a boiler repair or any huge emergency bill that could come in and knock you for six.

I think you must be nuts, no offence. where is your contingency (beyond £100/month)? what about the other kids?

New girl, you're not mental, but I think your specks are a little rosetinted!

Haven't read all the thread, but have you counted in

Christmas presents, food, decs, entertainment - £1,000 pa

Birthday presents, party, party bags,presents for other kids - £750 pa

Holidays for 5 people £4,000pa

Parking, window cleaning, newspapers, pets, £1,000pa

Pension contributions, life insurance for two ££5,000pa

That's £11,000 on top of your basic budget pa.

I understand that you have an emotional pull towards Steiner school, but the cost to the whole family would, imo, be too great.

The only person I know with a kid at Steiner school pulled him out at 13 as he wasn't learning any science, language, and his English was approprate for a 10 year old. He's now thriving at the local comp.

I think there are more important things to spend that amount of money on - not worth the stress it will cause when you can't afford clothes, food, presents, swimming classes etc

As suggested, I think what you need to do is live on that income from today. Do not wait until after you have been on holiday/bought birthday/Christmas presents to do this. If you can't start living on this budget because it is too difficult to give up these things, you have your answer.

I think you have been given a very hard time and some of the comments have been harsh but your figures definitely don't add up. £100 per month for a contingency fund is far too low. You mention fuel costs but nothing for car maintenance. £150 per month for bills. Really? Utilities, house insurance, car insurance, phone, tv license ... I know you have said that your DHs income will increase and that you will return to work but three children at £6k per year (yes, you will get a discount, but bear in mind fees will increase too) will probably eat up all of your income as a full time nurse.

thenewgirl-havn't read all of this so forgive me if it has been covered.

Would you be in a positon to Home Ed for a couple of years - Steiner style and guidance forn Granddad. This will give you an opportunity to save some money up as a "buffer" and your finances to improve. What are your plans re your buy-to-let when mortgage is paid off - could you sell and invest to pay for all your DC's education?

Oh dear, sorry if we've scared you off Newgirl

I apologise for previous comments on Steiner .. I did actually consider the Greenwich steiner for my eldest but decided otherwise.

I do think though that you aren't thinking things through financially because you want it so very much

You need to do the budget planner on MoneySavingsExpert

Don't forget that once a child starts school there are many expenses you may not have considered ..

school lunches - allow £1.20 - £2 a day (this includes if you are doing packed lunch by the way)

school trips - can be anything from free to £5 or so and there's a couple a term

after-school / lunchtime clubs - anything from free to £6 IME and eldest does 3 a week

entertaining kids on playdates

birthday presents for classmates (£5 each)

that's just off the top of my head .. doesn't include school trips, teacher presents, school fair donations etc

getting back to the actual sums - it looks very, very tight to me.

We take home about £3k pcm.
Out mortgage is the same as your rent (SE, but tiny flat in stabsville)
My DD's nursery fees are equivalent to your DS's prospective school fees.
We have no cash left over for extras, by the time you add in council tax, all utilities, TV licence, bus fares, trips to grandma, replacement clothes, nappies, toiletries. Admittedly we could shave some from our food bills, but not that much! Christmas, birthdays, and any holidays we may take (not looking likely ) all have to come from savings as there's not budgeted cash for these.
And this is on £400pcm more than you have.
And we don't run a car.
And DH has free travel with his job.

Do you have savings?

mad as a box of frogs - send dcs to the local comp and put the money into tutors if you feel the need.

I understand where you are coming from and my DH opted to work 4 days a week in order to spend more time at home. His salary is pretty much the same net as the salary you are proposing to pay the school fees from.

We would be able to do this for a few months, I would guess at 6 months, but couldn't keep it up long term. Our rent and council tax are £30 a month less than yours but with all the various things added in eg. gas, water, electricity, phone, broadband, insurance for 2 cars, household insurance, TV licence, car tax, car MOT & servicing costs, life assurance, our monthly costs are £1500. Add school fees then we would be at £2k a month, leaving £500.

I then budget for food, entertainment, haircuts, clothes, birthdays, christmas, a little spending money each, holidays and emergencies. There is no way I could cover all this on £500. I now have gone back to work so we have my wages, but I'm basing my opinion on if we were living on just DH's salary.

If you have buy to lets, what if you have voids, repairs etc, have you budgeted for these as well ?

Fully understand why you want to send your DS privately. My DD has dyspraxia and there are times when I know she would really benefit from a smaller class. But, I don't feel we are financially secure enough to go down the private route at the moment and there is DS to consider as well. So I am sorry but I do think you have very rose tinted glasses. And I also think that if you try to live off the reduced budget for 6 months or so, you will manage but it won't be a true test, a year would be more realistic.

I think even without private school fees 30k for 5 is pretty tight and in your situation I don't think private education is possible.A lot of state schools are fab

We're a family of 6 in the southeast with one car our mortgage is 500 per month our gross income about £34k after forking out £6k on fees we know we are going to really struggle and it will be a life change. £1000 rent for a house around here seems very cheap!

mumblechum, I also think Newgirl's figures are too optimistic, but yours are way too pessimistic!

Christmas - there's no way our family spends £1000 a year on presents, food, entertainment etc. We are a family of 5 and buy presents for all extended family too.

Nor do we spend £750 a year on presents, party bags etc for other children. Never have done, and we've 3 children.

Holidays. Had to laugh. We manage a holiday every year for less than £1000 including spending money. For 5 of us.

Pension contributions, life insurance etc - life insurance is actually fairly cheap, and Newgirl was talking about net income, so presumably her husband's contributions are already taken care of, as will hers once she goes back to work.

So very little of your £11,000 a year actually stacks up according to my lifestyle. I still think she would struggle immensely, but it's not as grim as you're painting it!

Oh, ok. Thought my figures were fairly modest!

No way can you afford it

forget it

sorry

Sorry I agree - bonkers.

ugh, just lost a huge post, will try again...

jamilia, I have just re registered last month, def don't intend to let it run out, am with nhs p so have shifts at click of a button and intend to do 1 double shift per month at at very least to keep hours topped up.

breevander dh hasn't taken the plunge yet, but we have decided that the job and school move should be done as one otherwise we face two large moves.

when all three are at school we will have much more earning potential, both dh and I, and we always have the option of selling our let-house if desperate in the future.

I feel really strongly that I would work simply to pay for their fees, full fees start when the child is 9 years. it is on sliding scale before that from aged 7 (or kindi if you choose to send there)

the fee is worked out with 1 part being family eliment and the other part being for individual child element.

so..
child 1 pays £6000 (when 9) and then subsequent siblings pay £3500 as a full fee (also when 9)

this means the most it will ever be is £13K when ds1 is 16 and this will last 1 year then we will only have 2 to pay for.

yes it is a huge commitment but I really beileive it to be the best available to my kids and I would gladly work just to pay for it.

we are a low spend family, we don't do big holidays or expensive days out, we never have done, it's not us. we don't eat out hardly ever and birthdays and christmas' are always about being creative and making the celebration festive, special and magic, it has never been about big gifts or expense.

I appreciate we aren't like alot of people we know in this respect but it is what suits us. I would be very interested if anyone else knows where I am coming from.

(have had enough of being called bonkers now!)