family of 5 living in SE on £30K can we afford £6K per year for ds1's school or am I bonkers?

[thenewgirl]

I have done the sums and I think we could survive month to month.

but

we are currently on 51K per year.

for ds1 to go to this school we have to move house (and to another county) housing costs would be the same but we would have less money due to change in job and have the school fees to pay.

it would not be forever as I am currently a sahm and will have earning power one day. also dh's new job would earn him more in years to come.

does this sound do-able?

I'm well up for it!

please tell me if I'm looking through rose tinted specks?

ugh, just lost a huge post, will try again...

jamilia, I have just re registered last month, def don't intend to let it run out, am with nhs p so have shifts at click of a button and intend to do 1 double shift per month at at very least to keep hours topped up.

breevander dh hasn't taken the plunge yet, but we have decided that the job and school move should be done as one otherwise we face two large moves.

when all three are at school we will have much more earning potential, both dh and I, and we always have the option of selling our let-house if desperate in the future.

I feel really strongly that I would work simply to pay for their fees, full fees start when the child is 9 years. it is on sliding scale before that from aged 7 (or kindi if you choose to send there)

the fee is worked out with 1 part being family eliment and the other part being for individual child element.

so..
child 1 pays £6000 (when 9) and then subsequent siblings pay £3500 as a full fee (also when 9)

this means the most it will ever be is £13K when ds1 is 16 and this will last 1 year then we will only have 2 to pay for.

yes it is a huge commitment but I really beileive it to be the best available to my kids and I would gladly work just to pay for it.

we are a low spend family, we don't do big holidays or expensive days out, we never have done, it's not us. we don't eat out hardly ever and birthdays and christmas' are always about being creative and making the celebration festive, special and magic, it has never been about big gifts or expense.

I appreciate we aren't like alot of people we know in this respect but it is what suits us. I would be very interested if anyone else knows where I am coming from.

(have had enough of being called bonkers now!)

I think if this is something that you all really want then go for it.

The only thing I would say is echoing using Money Saving Website budget to see if you can really afford things, or even how to cut down in areas to afford the move (Very good for this). At the moment I will again echo what everyone else has been saying in that we live on similar money and no way could we afford the £500pm on fees.

However, it sounds as this is what you want to do so I will say GOOD LUCK..

oh I just posted before I read the last page full of replies...

well, there is a lot of great advice in there, I thank you.

Am loving the home school idea with steinery advice from grandad, had breify thought of that one a while back but must now give it a bit more thought...

the idea of using state school and spending extra cash on tutoring is not somthing that we would go in for at all. part of my problem with state ed is that kids are pushed too much too soon. steiner school is half days until 8 and then gradually increases to 4 and a half full school days at aged 12. I feel a much more child centred approach.

there is little point going into the steiner philosophy, I really appreciate that it is not for everybody, but we can only go for what we feel is right for our kids.

anyway, I am really pleased to have seen 2 (I think) 'go for it' replies, but yes I do agree that I am being optomistic (one of my weaknesses apparently!?)

dh and I hve been broke and penniless students together trying to raise ds1 with more outgoings than income. we didn't really stress about it then, but no we are 'grown-ups' it feels very scarey.

Do you do the Lottery, only I didn't see it in your budget?

Ah, so the max you'd pay for all 3 at Steiner school is £13.5k, not £18k.

You sound like you're really committed to doing the Steiner thing, so if that's what you want and you can scrimp and save to afford it, go for it!

RENT 1000
BILLS all 150
COUNCIL TAX 120
POCKET MONEY dh and I 200
FUEL 100
KIDS EXTRA 100
CONTIGENCY 100
FOOD AND HOUSEHOLD 400
SCHOOL 420
I think you'll struggle more than this tbh. Bearing in mind your lo's will probably need mreo £ spending onhtme very soon for shoes, playgroup, larger house/garden maybe etc which will mount up. Moving might mean rent increases (you won't get anything other than a 2 bed flat/terrace around here for that. Council tax could well be higher in new area. Car maintenance, tax, insurance btih household , car and life are omitted form your budget. Maybe it would just be short term pain but what if you can't realise much profit from your Buy to Let or get a significant income increase before the others start. Then it could become a huge stress.

You have to go for it, you sound like you are committed to wanting this kind of lifestyle and education and you do have the back up of the house if things get really tight. I think you will regret it if you don't. One thing - ds1 is in mainstream at the moment - do you think he will cope easily with such an extreme change of structure?
Aside from all the negative aspects of Steiner that I have read about, having read through the curriculum for the Brighton school it sounds really exciting!
Good luck

I think you have to be prepared to stick at it though rather than find yourself 2 years down the line and financially strapped. It will be harder to make a transition back the other way I suspect.

chopchop thankyou, last night I got a bit of a headache during this thread -today the posts have been far less harsh and very helpful.

wheresthehampster thankyou I wanted everyone to post like you, but seriously I suppose I need to get as real as poss.

swedes, dh does lottery (from his pocket money of course) and he thinks that is our best bet!

thanks jhke, may I ask how much you think you could afford if you were to stretch yourself a little bit? just out of interest as you say you have a similar income..?

we are thinking of becoming car free ( a long term fantasy of mine.. greenwise and all that) which would help.
I guess I am after a really big lifestyle change (just thought...selling it would pay for 1 years fees!!!!)

I might go and browse the eco threads to see if I can get some inspiration there.

am I being a fantasist? oh I don't know. all I know is that having enough money but not living the life we want to live- isn't making us happy.

umm.. prob about £250-300... If we don't have holidays (normally put away about £25-£50), put money away for xmas (only do £25pm for family pressies), cars (MOT, Tax, service) contigencys etc

To be Honest I think if you were totally prepared to stretch yourselves then you could do it, also depends on what you are willing to give up... You could down your budget alot more to make it work. I can see a few things that could go/ be reduced to help your budget. This is why I recommend Martin Lewis website as they are great for this. Both the info on site and the forums.

umm.. prob about £250-300... If we don't have holidays (normally put away about £25-£50), put money away for xmas (only do £25pm for family pressies), cars (MOT, Tax, service) contigencys etc

To be Honest I think if you were totally prepared to stretch yourselves then you could do it, also depends on what you are willing to give up... You could down your budget alot more to make it work. I can see a few things that could go/ be reduced to help your budget. This is why I recommend Martin Lewis website as they are great for this. Both the info on site and the forums.

thanks jhke, will go and have a look now.

Hi thenewgirl,
I totally undertstand what you are trying to do and I think it's totally great. There is a lot about Steiner schools that I think is really wonderful - and a lot that is wrong with other schools.

There is some good advice so far. The things I would agree with are:

• try out your budget for a while and see how it works out
• the moneysavingexpert budget calculator is worth using to make sure you have included all the costs that you need to.

Here are the queries on the budget that I would raise:
Is your rental cost based on research of the appropriate area?
Do you need to include other car related costs eg insurance, road tax, maintenance, replacement, parking cost.
Have you included everything in your bills amount - gas, electric, water, phone, mobile, tv licence, internet, insurances?

Can you do a 5 year financial plan - and even a 10 year plan - and does this look ok? Is the early termination fee legitimate since lots of these have been deemed illegal recently?
What is your earnings potential and do you need to earn anything extra yourself to make this work or do you have a fall back position to earn more if things do not go according to plan.

Are you being a fantasist? - you have a clear vison which is wonderful. You are an idealist I would say, so it would be good to spend lots of time researching how practical your ideas are.

I think this idea probabaly is do-able - but go into it woth your eyes wide open as to what it is that you will have to fore go.
Good luck!

flipping wonderful advice darthvader, you have lifted my spirits!

interesting re.. early termination fee, I will definately investigate that one.

£900 rental will rent us a perfectly big enough 3 bed house in the area, but I have budgeted £1000 just incase.

I love the idea of doing longer term financial plans. I havn't put down on paper all the figure in my head so I will pin down dh tonight and have a go at that.

thankyou for your encouragement.

I do think that real happiness lies in following your heart and rejecting the shallow "keep up with the Joneses", materialist "conventional" life that the government want us all to live.

Just as bank charges are now being claimed back as unfair, so are lock-in mortgage fees - again I would recommend the moneysavingexpert website for more advice.

Just for the record, these are some of my complaints about state schools:
they start far too young
they do not carry on with play-based learning
they are exam/SAT driven
the children are physically inactive
not sufficiently connected with nature, the seasons and the environment
the school day is too long

It is also my belief that kids benefit hugely from having a mum who enjoys spending time with them.

If you really want this, I am sure that you can make it work and I really wish you all the very best with it. I aspire far more closely to your ideals than to Xenia's!

darthvader you are my new best friend!

ds1 is at a very lovely state school, it is a small village school with very warm and friendly teachers, a very approachable and thoughtful head teacher, wonderful resorces, a fantastic group of parents (dh included) on the PTA who really care about the kids' enjoyment.
but dispite all of this, they have no choice but to go by the strict govenment rulebook that is the national curriculum.. .

I agree with all your complaints. for me steiner education is so incredibly finely tuned into the child's development; physical, social and emotional. a child through steiner will have a very different experience of their school age years.

I am surprised there is still no sign of xenia on here yet...

I know three people who use Steiner. One has a 14 yr old who is now trying without much success to get into a state secondary.
Another one likes the philosophy but not the school. She also has doubts about some of the philosophy.
There are no SN provisions at Steiner which has caused problems for the last one.

On the fees front DP's sister has her two in Priv School and hit a big financial crisis. Not pretty. Kids still at priv school but all and sundry have had to help out and has caused a few issues in the family.

that is interesting cat64, but it is impossible to know if we have the same ideas on being frugal without comparing figures.
do tell me to mind my own, cat, but I wondered if you would feel ok about showing me a breakdown of your monthly budget? I am very interested to see how other people spend who are on a similar income? it would be very helpful to me...

Can I just ask if your DH is already on such a good wage and you aren't a 'consumerist' family do you have money saved that can be used towards fees? If not maybe you are underestimating exactly what you do spend your money on. I don't mean that as a criticism, it's easily done. DH and I always wonder why we hardly have any money and we say "oh we hardly ever buy anything, where would we budget?" but it just goes on Stuff!

Also, in light of this thread perhaps you would be better of starting a new one, not mentioning the fees or school but saying "we have XXX amount to live on - tell me how you do it?" that might get you more of the responses you want.

Well having the courage of your convictions is pretty rare so I salute you.

There are a lot of unhappy folk who chain themselves to unfulfilling lifestyles in the name of material gain, and don't have the bravery/conviction/imagination to do what you are thinking of doing.

So no, you're not bonkers, it's the other lot!

Isawbumperkissingsantaclaus has a good point about using other threads...there are some brilliant ones on how to feed a family healthy meals on about £50 a week.

Isawbump...
we have been throwing money at our mortgage since we bought it (it's a buy-to-let which takes care of itsel mostly) we bought it as we could not afford a house in our area but wanted a property investment. so we have a lovely rented house in our chosen area that we can afford instead.
we could release money in 2 years when term is up ( but possibly before according to moneysavingexpert.com) so we have got that to 'fall back on' but we would rather not have to cash it in if we can help it.

I think I will try that other thread...

Yay! Glad moneysavingexpert was helpful!

i haven't read the whole thread by any means so apologies if it has been mentioned but have you factored in issues such as dental fees and opticians fees?
i have visited both this month and spent £120 at the opticians and £70.00 at the dentist who has recommended a further approximately £550.00 of treatment (shock). With car tax and car insurance this month and a couple of other unexpected bills i have calculated that i am paying out about £1000.00 more than normal this month. (shock)