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Original poster

family of 5 living in SE on £30K can we afford £6K per year for ds1's school or am I bonkers?

240 replies

thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 22:12

I have done the sums and I think we could survive month to month.

but

we are currently on 51K per year.

for ds1 to go to this school we have to move house (and to another county) housing costs would be the same but we would have less money due to change in job and have the school fees to pay.

it would not be forever as I am currently a sahm and will have earning power one day. also dh's new job would earn him more in years to come.

does this sound do-able?

I'm well up for it!

please tell me if I'm looking through rose tinted specks?

OP posts:
Playmobil · 21/11/2007 23:13

I'm too slow again

Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:14

(sally steiner education is absolutly not racist.)

we aren't in london.

we havn't had a 'holiday' for 5 years because dh is so busy earning his money right now.

it will be a huge change of lifestyle for us, he will be working 3 long shifts so will have the chance to get another job if he needs to, I can work extra, (I'm a trained nurse so no probs getting work if I have to)

but we are all desperate to see eachother, and we are happy to halve our income in order to do so, and at th same time giving the kids the education we want for them.

we don't see the point having money and saving for the future when we aren't enjoying the now.

OP posts:
jamila169 · 21/11/2007 23:15

Well, your disposable income after the move would be proportionately about the same as ours and there is absolutely no way we could find enough slack to pay out £500 a month ,the reality is not being able to afford clothes without saving up and the kids having to wait for the family allowance to come in so they can have new shoes. As for your budget, well we spend about £130 on grocery shopping alone and basically fly by the seat of our pants if anything untoward happens, Try living on your proposed budget for a couple of months and see how you get on without having to find the school money

themildmanneredjanitor · 21/11/2007 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WendyWeber · 21/11/2007 23:19

tng, if you are honestly confident that you can afford it then please go for it

(It just sounds as if it will leave you desperately scrimping to pay all your bills as you go along)(thank god for the NHS, eh?)

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 21/11/2007 23:20

IIRC you have a buy to let, sell that and use the fees. That is DS1 taken care of, what about your other children ?

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 21/11/2007 23:20

Use it to pay the fees even.

mintydixcharrington · 21/11/2007 23:21

jamila's advice is spot on

live on the budget for 3 months, no cheating, write everything down - and see how you do

it is the only way you'll really know if you can manage it

Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:22

I could never spend £100 on 2 pairs of kids shoes...

I have a huge circle of friends and family with kids and we manage to rotate kids clothes and toys etc between us. my budget is realistic, it is not far off what we spend now. I am very tight. and I can't stand this throw-away culture we live in.

but it is the not having the option to spend that would be different if we change jobs etc.

money just doesn't 'do it for me'. never has.

I do apprieciate that I might be a bit bonkers but the budget is doable I'm sure.

OP posts:
sykes · 21/11/2007 23:23

Just about to x posts but agree that Jamila's advice is absolutely right. And I do think that survive month to month says it all. Is that what you want?

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 21/11/2007 23:23

In which case are you seeking affirmation from MN ??

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 21/11/2007 23:24

In which case why are you seeking affirmation from MN ?? Even ??

themildmanneredjanitor · 21/11/2007 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento · 21/11/2007 23:27

Don't do it. School fees are a millstone. And they only go up. Sure you look at the fees for entry at 3 or 4 and think " A bargain, I'm saving money on my CM/nursery/nanny" Just look at the fees at 18. Factor in the school holiday costs. Don't factor in payrises that haven't happened and jobs that don't currently exist.

Factor in the fact that your DS's mates will have mums shopping in Harvey Nicks and taking them to Aspen ...

If you want to move, move to an area with good state schools ...

Very didactic mood I'm in tonight. Sorry but I think you need saving from yourself.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:28

I would sell tomorrow but for the £5000 fee the mortgage co will charge for early get out.

but that is less than 2 years away.

I am so dsperate to do it I am sure my judgement it clouded.

will think about trying to stick to the tightest of budgets over the next few weeks.

I have to go to bed now, I have a terrible headache from craning my neck to see the screen whilst bf ds3...
didn't think I would get so many replies, (perhaps I should have left steiner out of it)

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 21/11/2007 23:30

Hang on a minute. DS3? SO we are talking multiple children through private school?

You're mental

Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:35

oh I know they do cost that much mildmannered, I guess I just beleiev in proper fitted shoes then...

steiner fees work very differently to other indipendent schools, very few of the kids will have wealthy parents, although a select few have masses.

breevan, I don't know really, I posted hoping that someone would tell me that they made a huge lifestyle change which involved halving their salary, living their dream and lived happily ever after I suppose...

but those people aren't on mn tonight!

just after some advice really, but you don't always hear what yo want to hear though.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 21/11/2007 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:38

quattro, please read back, I'm a bit depressed at all the 'mental' comments tbh, not singling you out or anything, but I have said that this financial situation is temporary, and has a means to a end and also that the little ones have 5 years before starting school and we will be able to sell of our assets etc etc....

OP posts:
Original poster
thenewgirl · 21/11/2007 23:39

yes, sorry -don't beleieve- in 'proper' fitted shoes

veeeeerrrry tired now zzzzzzzzzzzz

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 21/11/2007 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento · 21/11/2007 23:42

I don't mean to be disheartening and squashing.

But I don't think you're listening. You're saying you will be richer because you will work and your DH will get promoted. But these chickens haven't hatched.

And at the same time, you are not thinking about affording the fees for the other two children - the point is bound to arise - isn't it? So that looks like not taking account of the expenses.

Ehy don't you do that thing of living on the budget. Factor in three sets of fees, and see if you can do it.

Would be fab if you could.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 21/11/2007 23:45

It would be great if she could, but IIRC, TNG's DH took a huge career downsize in terms of money.

He is perhaps happier and more fulfilled but has the lack of disposable income truly filtered through yet ?

jamila169 · 21/11/2007 23:48

TNG you say you're a nurse, so how long are you planning to take off work anyway? you have to do your hours to keep up your registration (I know, i've had to give up mine due to my renewal being about 3 months after my practice hours ran out)you only get 3 years now and you've got to get your hours in -back to nursing course are like rocking horse poo

GrapefruitMoon · 22/11/2007 11:30

TNG, are there no Steiner schools near where you live now? That way your dh could stay in his present job so you would have more money.... or does he want to change jobs anyway?

I agree with whoever suggested trying to live on that amount for a few months and see how you get on.

On the face of it, we have less outgoings than you in terms of size of mortgage, utility bills, etc. But every month we have a huge credit card bill and only half or less is food/petrol. I struggle to make sense of it sometimes - rarely buy new clothes for myself or the kids and so on, don't go over board at Christmas/birthdays but it seems that every month there is some big thing like car insurance, after school activities and so on....

DD is going on a school trip next year and I will have to pay out £50 a month for 5 months for that....

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