Tell me how you got the first step on the housing ladder .

[Mollymarvelous70]

The pressure to get on the housing market has just been getting me down recently and I’m losing motivation.

DH and I have reasonable paying jobs but we just can’t seem to save enough to get on the housing ladder in the south east whilst living comfortably. In the past 2 years we’ve saved about 8k sat in Lisa’s but it just feels like such a slog to get anywhere near what we need. I did make the mistake of posting on Money Saving Expert a while ago for budgeting advice but got ripped apart for our level of earnings and lack of ability to save which made me feel a bit embarrassed tbh. Some people are really struggling and I realised that i didn’t want to penny pinch to the extremes and receive the critical judgement lots of people on their face But equally I do want to move forward.

We earn about 45k ish each but outgoings are high due to area mans student loans.

I wondered how many had to save for their deposit and how long it took them. Did you have any crafty or innovative ways you got the money together so you could just get going ?

Just interested to hear others experience really for some motivation.

@Molleymarvelous70 - come on a parenting forum and get mothered by a load of strangers! If you're happy with your pram that's good. So many people buy based on looks so have to buy again when they realise its not suitable. I think you're massively over estimating how much you'll spend on mat leave - a less than one year old doesn't need a lot - you're anticipating spending £100+ a week!

@theemmadilemma it’s lovely they could do that for you having worked hard themselves for a lifetime. No judgement.

@bluebluezoo yes maybe we do need to adjust our expectations of what we feel we deserve vs what we can afford to save for but could still last us 5 or so years . Funnily enough we’ve been looking at houses we would actually want to live in but maybe compromises are required.

@suggestionsplease1 that does seem a good pathway you followed. Agree getting gong young has a big impact before kids come along and you’re less risk adverse and need the space. Scotland has always been on the maybe one day list . If I could find a job in my sector or manage more remote working it’s something we would seriously consider for the proximity to nature.

I bought in the 80s and my parents paid the deposit.
My friend lived in a bedsit for two years to save up for her deposit.
Others bought jointly with friends, then sold and bought with their partners once they had some equity.
One bought 75% of a house through a housing association, with the aim of increasing her share as she can afford to.

@BabyMoonPie well you don’t get this kind of feedback in real life . I certainly don’t . We don’t speak about money with family or friends and obviously no one tells us off .It’s hard going but I’m enjoying it.

To be honest I can’t be sure the pram is going to be ‘right’ having never pushed one before or used it regularly. Time will tell but right now I’m pleased with it. If I need to change it , it has a good resale value and I don’t mind second hand stuff in general. Just wanted this item new.

Okay I’m getting the message on the £500 pm . I thought this was a comfortable amount but maybe it’s excessive. @SimonJT I’m probably expecting a similar lifestyle to that and if you don’t spend that much can’t imagine I would need to.. I’ve already worked out a budget to save enough to have that amount aside so I might keep saving it but budget to spend less and save the rest . About £100 of it was to cover any cc repayments I’ve still got left but hoping to get them paid of ASAP..

(Admittedly we are going back 15 years, so things were easier then...)

Rented in a cheap and fairly crappy area of town for 3 years. We didn't own a car - walked everywhere possible and took the bus, we didn't have overseas holidays - just went camping. Spent little on clothes. Most of our furniture was passed down from family or from charity shops/auction houses. Managed to save 7k over 3 years and then borrowed same amount from inlaws. (Although they very kindly quashed the debt a few years later, which we hadn't expected.) Was enough to put a 10% deposit on a £120,000 terrace. We got a hefty discount on legal fees as MIL worked as a legal secretary for a local solicitor. We borrowed a friend's white van for moving and roped in lots of kind friends to help. (We didn't have a massive amount of furniture tbh.)

After we had DS and we moved to current (bigger) house, we added 4 years on the mortgage to afford it. Both of us have larger salaries than when we first bought, which helps. We have tried to overpay by about 1.5-2K a year. Remortgaging later this year and the change in interest rates will probably enable us to reduce the term back down to the original level so we can end payments by the time we are in our late 50's.

It was a struggle in the early days. But we did it. However, appreciate that some parts of the country are getting so expensive that getting on the ladder is impossible. Good luck to you, OP

@OutComeTheWolves it’s interesting the different schemes over the years to get people on the housing market. I’ve been sceptical of the help to buy And part ownership type schemes . I worry I’m going to get screwed in some way but that’s not based on much evidence. Interesting thanks for sharing.

@Summeriscancelled great advice thank you . Lockdown has been a good lesson is what you really need and how we’re no less happy having not eaten out or gone on holiday . I’m hoping to take forward some of this mentality and be tougher.

My DH had to leave home at 16, he travelled around the country for work purposes, knowing all his mates were going out socialising back home while he knuckled down. He managed to get on the property ladder early, which has obviously paid off now, but he missed out on a lot of carefree years.
When he did buy his first house, small 2 bed, he bought furniture and crockery from charity shops. Next house was in a different town where he knew no one, couple of years later he had to move again. He basically spent a decade having to relocate every two years.
It would be easy for someone to think we've never had to struggle but I was brought up in a very poor household, I've never inherited a penny.

When I've been at work, and I've listened to people talking about struggling to buy a house, it seems that some of them really don't want to make any kind of sacrifice. My own hairdresser was "saving" for about 7 years but still buying expensive handbags, plenty of holidays and weekends away, new car etc etc.
That's her choice, but she could have chosen to put that money towards a deposit instead.

I know there's been plenty of threads on here over the years re saving for houses and people mocking comments of "Just give up your daily Starbucks and you'll buy a house in no time", because £3 seems like nothing at all when you're talking a house deposit.
Then came lockdown and there's threads where people are astonished at how much they've saved by not buying that daily coffee or the twice-weekly takeaway. It really does all add up.

If I have any spare cash I buy Premium Bonds, minimum purchase is £25. So do I really want that takeaway tonight or would I rather buy bonds instead?
Once you get into a save instead of spend mindset it becomes second nature.

For us we started saving when I got a new job with a pay increase that we found we didn't need as childcare costs didn't change (very lucky to have family at that time who helped out and DP who did shifts so was around part of the week)

We saved a 5% deposit on a 3 bed flat that cost less than £100,00 (up North!) that needs a lot of cosmetic work and a new boiler.

When I rang my dad to tell him our offer was accepted he very kindly (and unexpectedly) doubled our deposit! I had no idea he would do that but I'm so grateful he did as we were able to get a lower interest rate because of that.

When me and DP first had DD we were both on minimum wage and saving just didn't happen, now we have (slightly) better paid jobs savings are our priority, they are our biggest outgoing.

With your income and the fact you're able to pay off such a large amount of your debts, when they are done you will be able to put a great amount away per month. I realise London property market is a world of difference to where I am but if you remain focused you will get there 😊

I'm not sure if he has been mentioned as I didn't RTFT but I listen to Dave Ramsey every day and he is a brilliant inspiration and motivator for me. He teaches you to live within your budget, pay off debt aggressively and basically has a no nonsense approach to finances.

If you fancy giving him a listen on spotify he's a great way to pass the time on long walks with your baby (mine will now no longer sleep in or tolerate the pram at all so I miss doing this)

Congratulations on your soon to be new arrival OP, and good luck 😊

PS - my post DID havr paragraphs but I always forget the MN app doesn't seem to like them 😤

I worked nights in a hospice while I kept my day job. Saved up enough for a deposit with help from help to buy scheme and a gift from
DM. It took about 2 years to save but never looked back. You literally need to work your ass off for a deposit or have inheritance

I bought when I was young, in a cheap, unpopular area, with few parking restrictions but
very near the city centre of a reasonably expensive city. Prices went up very quickly due to the proximity to city centre and unaffordability of nicer areas and regeneration announcements. Right time, right place. Even though everyone told me I was crazy to buy it in the first place.

Saved for four years solidly, hardly any new clothes, second hand everything, held off having dc. Did all the 'tips' for a mortgage ie have a credit card pay it off.

Got a cheap car lowered every outgoing possible but still had high rent as in SE.
Asked the banks what we'd need for x house well before we had an intention of taking a mortgage out so we had an idea of what we needed to earn. Moved jobs everything two years to push up pay.
Ahhhh was so tiring! Worth it though.

And I sold pretty much all my clothes on eBay

My advice - don't dip into your savings to buy new baby stuff. Second hand baby stuff is lovely. I'm a few weeks all your savings will be gone if you're buying all the best and new items a first time Mum would like to buy

I saved for a few years. I got a new job and put the extra salary into a savings account so I had £20k in 3 years. My husband had a house in Nottingham bought for him by his parents which he sold to get his deposit of around £35K.

When we bought our first house we got a nice house in a bad area. Our second house was a fixer upper (a total wreck) in a good area. It took a lot of years to do the rooms up one by one but it was worth it.

Saved almost every spare penny over two years. A treat was sitting in the pub with half a pint once a week, a holiday was staying with friends in a different place for a few nights. Everything for the new house was second hand or given. Except my aunt and uncle gave me £250 for a bed. The house had an old kitchen which was never replaced, just couldn't afford to do it. But I was on the first rung of the ladder and things moved on from there. Now I have a beautiful but smallish home with dp, a holiday cottage and a rental each so it definitely is worth the early sacrifice.

lived with family for 3 years, had a civil ceremony but delayed wedding (now wedding delayed due to covid sigh).

@SciFiScream

You and DH are both on amazing salaries! You must have been having lots of fun up till now? The fun had lead to debt etc?

My DH and I have never had any financial help...in fact at times we've both had to support other family members (parents and siblings)

How did we do it? Luck, timing, luck, sheer hard work, debt, hard work, sacrifice, penny pinching, penny pinching, make do and mend, buying second hand, frugal living, luck, interest only mortgage until 5 years ago (DD started school in 2015).

We live in an expensive are in Scotland. I earn far less than you, my DH on a par.

We're on the other side of childcare costs now but once upon a time our childcare costs were more than our mortgage.

You need to look at short term pain for long term gain now.

I wasted SO MUCH money before I had children. Also if I didn't have children we'd be so well off!

How embarrassing is it to quote your own post? Let's see!

I forgot 2 things we did that helped. First is we bought small as soon as we could - getting on the ladder, even with something that wasn't ideal, was the best thing we ever did. We made a tiny bit of profit on that which allowed us to buy something else (again less than ideal), sold that made a tiny bit of profit then bought again.

Third home is where we are now. Again it's really less than ideal but it will be our forever home. It's small and we're a little bit too "big" for it but we've decided to stick it out and pay off the mortgage.

So my other 2 things that helped were buy as soon as you can and lower your standards. We'll be in a less than ideal house forever but it's ours (or will be once we've finished renting from the bank! I always imagine a mortgage = renting from the bank. It's silly!)

The third home we bought at the peak of the market. Which crashed due to the banking crisis about 3 weeks after we moved in. We're out of negative equity now, but it was a long slog.

A bonus piece of advice - when you do get your mortgage OVERPAY! Even £20 per month helps. Overpaying has been the single best thing we have ever done. We're supposed to be mortgaged right up to age 68 but if we overpay I hope to get out before we turn 60. My DH and I are both in our 40s. We've only been on a repayment mortgage for 5 almost 6 years.

I only got statutory maternity pay and for the first mat leave our family income was such that we qualified for tax credits!

We always had debt too because we had no other way of doing it. We've aggressively worked on that and now have (mortgage aside) about £2k in debt (all interest free) with enough savings to pay that off should we have to.

So if we can do it. You and your DH definitely can. We lived in a 1 bedroom flat until DS was 7 months old. We only moved because I had SPD during and after pregnancy and I got fed up crawling up the communal stairs.

I was worried during mat leave on stat mat pay only that I wouldn't have any money to spend. However I always had money left at the end of the month!

As others said, you really need to adjust your mindset. You clearly enjoy spending money and buying 'nice' things, nothing wrong with that, if you can afford it. I chose not to have a baby until I was very well established with mortgage nearly paid off and decent savings in the bank (and no debt), I wouldn't have considered buying anything 'new' for the baby, it is so easy to get second hand, Freecycle, hand me downs etc.

You mention you don't want to 'put pressure' on your DH whilst you are on maternity leave, is he really on board with your savings plans?

And are you absolutely certain your career is 100% 'safe', the recent situation has shown so many 'safe' jobs are being cut or lost.

We bought a horrible uninhabitable house in a not nice area and worked tirelessly for 2 years to do it up.. sold it and made enough for a deposit on nice house in a nice area!!

You won't do it without some sort of sacrifice.. especially with a child to factor into it.. so you either have to start at the very bottom of the ladder and gradually move up or you cut back everything and save every penny possible.. without handouts there is no other way!

Wow I didn’t expect to get so many responses . Thank you to everyone who pitched in .. not sure I’ve responded to all of them but I have read them all! Maybe me 5 years ago will stumble across this thread and learn something !

@SadiePurple it is fair to say the coffees and lunches out add up! I suppose I do have a view there are little luxuries I ‘deserve’ for working hard yes and I wonder if this is generational .

@grool That’s a great family , and lovely If you support each other like that. Yes I definitely think it’s the debt repayments getting me down more than anything but they won’t be too long until they are paid off now . Someone else mentioned David Ramsey and I just can’t stomach him .. sure some of what he says I get but it’s the evangelical preacher style of it I can’t get past. Thank you for your well wishes . We will get there I was just losing focus.

This is also my first time posting and I have no idea if I’m following MN etiquette.

@dogperson05 really special profession caring for people when they need it most. I’ve started selling clothes on eBay . It is a faff if low value but they do add up ! Yes noted in baby stuff , I’ve had one or two splurges with pram and car seat but that’s no more !! Baby will be very comfy in anything I’m sure . Currently deleting basket of Aden and Anais muslins and blanket ... they really are crazy money!

that’s great @brownchairs , when you have other stuff going on or high living costs something closer to 5 years is more achievable . We are going to adjust our goals to 3-5 years once I’ve crunched the numbers again and slow and steady until we get there.

@Bouledeneige thanks , I get so confused between bad house good area vs good house bad area . In terms of climbing the ladder and building equity you would think good area.

@Zenithbear that’s a good portfolio of property generating income. It sounds like you had that bigger plan when you bought the house you knew wasn’t your ideal.

@Desiringonlychild Sorry to hear about your wedding . Fingers crossed for you.

We earn well and saved really hard... lives ‘uncomfortably’ for a bit. Our families joked about our ‘austerity year’ when we had the final push to buy our house. No family help. £53k deposit and £27k stamp duty.

Hi @SciFiScream yes short term pain long term gain! I need a little book of positive mantras I can use to stay on track.. you talked about buying small and moving on , I just wonder if this was when the housing market was booming and everything was on the up without any work . I’m conscious of buying small and feeling stuck if we then have to pay stamp duty and fees .

It certainly sounds like you’ve had a journey . Just need to jump on I guess and find a way through. After the feedback I’ve had I think I will plan to spend much less on mat leave and save the rest.

@Mollymarvelous70 OP, i bought in London zone 3. 2 bed flat at £400K. We had a 70k deposit.
Combined income £69k. We bought last year, at ages 27 and 29. No baby yet.

We saved for 3 years while living with family. Of course when we first started our earnings are much lower.

Now we are living in our flat and take home pay is £4200. our outgoings are £1020 mortgage, £500 for service charge and bills, £1k-2k for food and all other expenses. It can vary quite a lot as we are still buying furniture . However as 2 people who eat out often and a woman with a cosmetics addiction (£50-80 per month), we still save £1-2k every month. So between 25-50% of take home pay is saved every month.My personal rule however (which I have kept all my life) is to have budgets for every item i buy. Dh is the cook so he buys all the groceries and we do often shop at waitrose and M & S (but buy all staples in sainsburys, Aldi and Lidl). he rarely buys clothes. I only buy dresses that are £30 and below (and I rarely shop). If we eat out, we don't tend to go to eateries that charge more than £10 per person unless its an anniversary. We don't have a car, take public transport or walk. We try to wait for discounts for big ticket items like furniture. We have never owned iphones, my smartphone is a £150 motorola and my plan is £10 giffgaff, I would never be able to afford Apple for as long as I live. my 1 extravagance is cosmetics, i have a beauty pie subscription and buy almost all cosmetics at below £20, the trouble is i buy a lot but I do try to shop smart and restrain myself. Like many Londoners, I don't consider myself frugal but we do save 25% of our salary on very ordinary incomes. Holiday was once a year to visit my parents in Asia and another holiday (usually in europe and we would stay at premier inn). I have a puregym membership for £30.

Basically the rule of thumb is that unless it is furniture, essential electronics like homeworking equipment, laptop and phone, baby equipment in your case (pram, cot and changing table), do not buy it if its above £20-30. In fact, shop around until you find the best value (not cheapest) item. Before you buy something, ask yourself if you need it, would use it and where to store it.

We are aiming to reach £120k combined earnings before we have a baby so we can continue saving 25% while paying £1600 in nursery fees and hopefully we get family help for childcare too.

Op you asked of others recall what they spent on their maternity leave. I had £125 a month spending money which covered my phone, cafes, any meals out, optional baby activities, any clothes for me. I had money spare every month that was able to accumulate. Any baby 'courses' like baby massage, baby sensory, these came out of the family pot not my own spending money. Likewise baby clothes. My second maternity I spent less than my first as I had an established group of friends, we just used to visit each other which is free. Most of the best things were free anyway. Baby and toddler play groups round here are free. Baby bounce and rhyme at the library.