Tell me how you got the first step on the housing ladder .

[Mollymarvelous70]

The pressure to get on the housing market has just been getting me down recently and I’m losing motivation.

DH and I have reasonable paying jobs but we just can’t seem to save enough to get on the housing ladder in the south east whilst living comfortably. In the past 2 years we’ve saved about 8k sat in Lisa’s but it just feels like such a slog to get anywhere near what we need. I did make the mistake of posting on Money Saving Expert a while ago for budgeting advice but got ripped apart for our level of earnings and lack of ability to save which made me feel a bit embarrassed tbh. Some people are really struggling and I realised that i didn’t want to penny pinch to the extremes and receive the critical judgement lots of people on their face But equally I do want to move forward.

We earn about 45k ish each but outgoings are high due to area mans student loans.

I wondered how many had to save for their deposit and how long it took them. Did you have any crafty or innovative ways you got the money together so you could just get going ?

Just interested to hear others experience really for some motivation.

To be honest I think that in your position I would play a longer game. Accept that you're not going to be buying for at least 5yrs possibly more. Instead find somewhere really secure to rent, that has everything you need and where you can stay while your little one is young. Then focus on paying off debts. And then saving towards childcare costs. And then when free childcare hours kick in the term after your little one is 3, you can divert everything you have into saving for a house deposit. with a view to trying to buy say shortly before your little one starts school. You won't have any debts to pay, and you'll have been used to spending a whack on childcare so you will feel flush. If you save say £1000 a month you'll have £24k in 2yrs. I think you could save more than that.

I've had a lot of good money advice on here, including hard home truths. Hope you get similar quality advice.

You mentioned paying debts and saving extra. Your savings probably won't have much interest. I think you should put everything you've got into clearing debt early. Then snowball that into saving.

I bought by living at home for an extra year in my late twenties. Just paid board so saved £1.5k a month.

To be honest I think you haven't faced up to a serious problem and have your heads in the sand. I mean this kindly but you both have great paying jobs that appear from what you say to have potential. But you have a shit load of debt. I couldn't sleep with that debt level at night. What do you spend the £400 each on each month? to put that in context DH and I have about £100 a month each for clothes, personal haircuts, the odd personal treat.

By having a baby (congratulations and I wish you a healthy happy pregnancy) you're adding fuel to the flames with no plan to damp them down. You can't afford to be sitting back relaxing in your mat leave. You need to be on a budget - if you want to change your family tree of your child you don't have coffees. You buy his clothes off eBay and well what you can. You take less mat leave. You babysit from now to Dec.

Go back to MSE. Listen to Dave Ramsey.
Best of luck.

I'm in a similar position to you but my son is 18 months. We earn great salaries but we live in a really expensive area. We both grew up in not nice areas and it's just not where I want to live personally. I want to make sure my son gets into a great primary school and I'm resigned that it will be late 30s when we get on the ladder. It's more important for me that we live somewhere nice. I don't have family around so my friend network etc is so important.

We both works jobs with lots of earning potential so when my son and any other children are older we can hopefully get a decent house and pay off a lot of the mortgage as they get older. I'd rather they grow up somewhere much nicer than I did!

Out of interest I asked the bank how much money I could take out as a loan it was substantial and it paid for the deposit on my first house. 15 years ago.

You can buy a 4/5 bedroom detached house where I live for £200K, perhaps think of relocating to a cheaper area.

I've just read your updates. Sorry, should have read the whole thread. If I were you I would sell the pram. You have credit card debt. You can't afford it. Then I'd only take 6 months mat leave (health dependent of course). Your savings to cover your final 6 months will go a long way to clearing debt and a deposit.

I can't recommend some Dave Ramsey to you enough!

@Codexdivinchi a lender wouldn't allow a loan as a deposit these days. You have to demonstrate where it's come from, the loan repayments would go against your affordability. Different times!

Thanks @flowerycurtain your advice is similar to that on MSE which did feel extreme to me . Thats what I described as penny pinching. Sure we could and should do better but I absolutely do not want to lose sleep at night over money and I will do everything to relax on mat leave . I appreciate your different perspective but I’m afraid the David Ramsey obsessed does feel extreme to me and I applaud those that are debt free and manage money well but I think for some it becomes a compulsion. I am committed to making steps in the right direction but I’d rather do it over 5 years than fret too much and risk my mental health .

@Indecisivelurcher yes I agree and I’m coming round to that now . Get the cards paid ASAP. Enjoy my mat leave .. carefully. Then slowly save over 3-5 years. Feels achievable to live our lives but also work towards the goal.

We bought with a 6% deposit - but that meant our interest rate was not at all competitive, and payments were high for the first two years.
I was determined to buy then though, as Crossrail was making the prices in our pocket of outer East London skyrocket. Our flat increased in value by nearly 50% in three years, and we were able to buy a house in the same area.

I only earned £21k at the time, and saved the deposit mostly through renting a room in a shared house instead of a flat.
I also saved a decent chunk by taking packed lunches and I worked out that if I commuted to work via an alternative route (which was only 5 mins longer) I could avoid zone 1 completely. I also used my first chunk of savings to buy a yearly travel card - which saved me money compared to the monthly rate.
I allowed myself two months off of saving each year - to pay for Christmas, and a weekend away in my birthday month.
I originally planned to buy a shared ownership flat on my own but things got serious with DP (now DH) so I took a gamble buying together (he earned less than me then, and had about £18 in his savings account but it meant we could borrow enough for a one bedroom flat)

@doadeer Yes I know it’s a decision some will say is not taking the money seriously but it makes a world of difference to how we feel living here especially when I will be at home all day . Great community , lovely neighbours that look out for us when we don’t have family here . It would be gutting to move .

@Codexdivinchi @notheragain4 . If I could I’d definitely get a loan for the difference in deposit . Yes apparently tighter regulations since the credit crunch stop this kind of thing.

@flowerycurtain Sell the beautiful pram and take less maternity . Are you mad ?! No way. I’ve got good earning potential for another 35 years , you don’t get that 6 months back ! Can’t see me and Ramsey getting along

My and DH were both teachers on 25k ish. We paid off any debt (I had a student loan from another country) about a year before applying for a mortgage. We also improved our credit rating by using a credit card to buy petrol and food shop every week and just paid it off immediately. We had savings from before we met (about 13k altogether) which we topped up as much as possible over a 2 year period before applying. We did this by renting very cheaply, cheap cars, no holidays, food shops in lidl, very few luxuries. We then bought in a cheaper area than we would have liked in the west Midlands but we are still happy here. Our semi cost us 260k. We had just over a 10% deposit. Admittedly we were given some money from family but that actually came after we had our own savings sorted so we used it to renovate the house a bit, although it was in good condition anyway. Mortgage wise, we both had full time permanent jobs and very few outgoings. We got a mortgage with Santander in 2017.

You both earn more than most people I know. And did someone say £400 a month spending. That seems crackers to me, I think I'd run out of things to do with it. So I do think you have plenty of capacity to get this thing done, when you are serious about it. But it won't happen by magic. To save more, you do have to spend less!

@AwkwardPaws27 that’s great ! I’m sure that flat will do you well . Very commendable on a low salary in London .

@Crumpets111 could you commute to London from there ?

I wouldn't aim for a £350,000 house as a first home. Go for a ~£200,000 place (I know it wouldn't be as nice/in such a desirable area but it could be part of your long term strategy). You will find it easier to save after you have bought a place. Then maybe in another 5 years or so you could move again to a nicer place.

@kayakingmum I'm not so sure about that. We did just that, in a cheap area, with pre school kids and we outgrew the house so quickly. Now 3 years later we are in the hideously stressful position of selling and buying with little equity, moving costs (admittedly not as high as they should have been with the stamp duty holiday). In a market where house prices aren't rising as dramatically as they were I'm not sure aiming to move in a relatively short period of time is a good idea. I regret not holding out and saving more, especially as it got much easier as the preschool childcare days drew to a close.

@Mollymarvelous70 we don't have the flat anymore - we sold after three years and bought a house.
For us, it was the right decision to get on the property ladder with a small deposit and small flat, rather than waiting and saving.

Just wanted to take the full 12 months so saving to cover 6 months my half of the bills and 500 quid a month to live off

What exactly are you planning to spend the £500 a month on ???
This is after you putting aside £1000 per month for bills ON TOP OF the rent and council tax ?

Even if you weren't claiming you want to save for a house deposit, I can't see where all this money is going each month.

But everyone has explained to you, apart from the fortunate few who are gifted a large deposit, people overwhelmingly have to put some real commitment into saving up for their deposit. You just seem to think it will somehow happen whilst you carry on spending recklessly.

You made a snide comment about a poster upthread, presuming you know their circumstances and presuming that you are in some way hard done by compared with people who are 20 years older than you, yet everyone giving you advice is getting the same answer from you, "Oh, I want a deposit for a house, but I'm not prepared to do what it takes", in effect.

Did you expect everyone to direct you to pots of gold at the end of rainbows ?

@BackforGood actually yes that would be great .. have you got a pot of gold for me ? I’ll only spend it on luxuries anyway I’m sure you wouldn’t approve and have some strong opinions.

In all seriousness I’m not looking for anyone to solve my problem and I’m not pleading poverty. Just wanted to hear from others about their experience at this stage in life.

If you ever want to get on the property ladder, then you really need a complete change of attitude to money.

In your position, I’d see if a good mortgage broker can’t conjure anything up for you, even just enough for a small flat. If your current level of spending continues you’ll be getting into more debt rather than saving when childcare costs/drop in income hits you.

@AwkwardPaws27 yes interesting that buying low and upgrading early worked for you . This was also @kayakingmum suggestion to buy cheap and move on quickly . It would be possible to get a flat maybe. I’ve been more aligned to @notheragain4 that it’s risky to move before 5 years with the market especially if we ended up in an overpriced new build . It does seem to depend on the area and growth potential. Certainly something we should consider . 200k won’t get you much and it won’t be nice but we should consider adjusting the expectation.

Just wanted to hear from others about their experience at this stage in life.

Well, I saved, saved and saved to get my first flat. I was a single teacher in London earning a fraction of what either of you earns. I just tightened my belt, got second/seasonal jobs and took out a max mortgage to buy a 2-bed so that I could rent out the spare bedroom to a friend. Yes, prices were lower then but if I was 10 years younger, I’d just be buying in zone 5 instead of a naice part of zone 2.

When saving, I lived in a house share, did a weekly shop and made packed lunches. I did one cheap foreign holiday a year and spend little on going out, hair and beauty and or clothes etc. Luckily, I had a bunch of likeminded friends so we managed to have a busy social life together without breaking the bank.

My inherited my first house in my 20s. No way could I have afforded a house on my own otherwise.

I have always been a saver luckily and started at a young age. I managed to save over £40k whilst living at home and my DF also gave us £20k so we had a big deposit for our first house

Been here nine years, had the house valued last week as we'd like to move in the near future. Midlands, gone up roughly £100k

If we hadn't had my savings and DF's help we'd still be renting. Impossible to save when renting

I understand - you'd struggle to get a one bed for £200k here too (unless it had a short lease or needed gutting). It might still be worth speaking to a broker (London & Country, for example, are free) as if you could find a 95% mortgage you may have less to save to meet it... Sometimes it's easier (psychology) to aim for a smaller figure - saving £10k feels much more doable than £30 or £40k.
It might be worth doing a full budget (if you haven't already) to see where you spend the most - it might be easier to give up some of those areas in pregnancy and with a new baby (ie money spent socialising or on holidays), or swap them for cheaper activities that are still fulfilling?
Also, check all your direct debits and that you are on the best deals for utilities etc - it does make a difference.