Tell me how you got the first step on the housing ladder .

[Mollymarvelous70]

The pressure to get on the housing market has just been getting me down recently and I’m losing motivation.

DH and I have reasonable paying jobs but we just can’t seem to save enough to get on the housing ladder in the south east whilst living comfortably. In the past 2 years we’ve saved about 8k sat in Lisa’s but it just feels like such a slog to get anywhere near what we need. I did make the mistake of posting on Money Saving Expert a while ago for budgeting advice but got ripped apart for our level of earnings and lack of ability to save which made me feel a bit embarrassed tbh. Some people are really struggling and I realised that i didn’t want to penny pinch to the extremes and receive the critical judgement lots of people on their face But equally I do want to move forward.

We earn about 45k ish each but outgoings are high due to area mans student loans.

I wondered how many had to save for their deposit and how long it took them. Did you have any crafty or innovative ways you got the money together so you could just get going ?

Just interested to hear others experience really for some motivation.

We live in SE England too and managed to buy on salaries of £25k and £30k. We lived in a crappy 1 bed flat and spent very little money for 3 years until we had enough for a deposit on a little 2 bed house in an ok area.

Saved really hard, never had a 'holiday' apart from staying a couple of nights with a friend, second job, and not even thinking about having a child until I was very well settled with own home & decent savings.

@Mollymarvelous70 we are getting upgraded kitchen, flooring throughout, £3000 cash back for removals and £8250 stamp duty paid and now we don't have to pay that they're giving it to us in cash back!

If you want to discuss HTB in more detail I'm happy for you to Pm me. (Although I'm only a buyer no industry knowledge!)

I second doing a spreadsheet, it’s good to know what goes out when, how much you have left at the end of the month. Put money aside just before pay day rather than after. Don’t eat out, find recipes with store cupboard/frozen ingredients and cook from scratch. Also if you need to commute into London look for properties on the East side of the south east. Essex and Kent have cheaper properties, living near the coast saves on holidays for a few years.

In the most conciliatory way OP, you still don’t sound as if you’re prepared to give anything up. I thought the idea of moving to somewhere more central in London (because ironically rent is cheaper) was a really good one, but you want to stay where you are. Fair enough, but honestly, it really is every bit as hard as you think it will be to save to that extent.
You have to be aggressive about saving, by that I mean utterly focused, and do it with everyting. So for example, it’s true about the £6 a day coffee, but it’s no good starting with that.
You have to start with the bigger outgoings: reducing your rent, then looking at the interest on or clearing your debt.
Have your salary paid into your savings account and transfer what you need across into current account.
Then look at what is the minimum amount you can spend per day Celebrate when you reach goals, but make it smaller stuff.
Cut out takeaways. They are astronomical and we’re all so used tighten we think it’s part of life, but honestly, you can save £100’s per month on cutting out one pw where we are.
I also second the idea of working more so that you not only have more income but less time to spend it.
Finally, Do not look at or compare yourself to people who’ve been gifted deposits, etc. You might be able to go that for your children one day, but at the moment, it will be de-motivating to think about.

.. and yes, of course, set up a spreadsheet if you haven’t already.

Like others I made the sacrifices early. Unfortunately once you have children and need to buy somewhere big enough to be a family home it gets a lot harder.

I lived in a room in a house share, didn't live extravagantly and saved payrises until I had enough for a deposit.

In London. Got help from my Grandparents who had wisely set up a trust for me and my siblings. Thank heavens they had- it wasn’t much in the great scheme of London property money (circa £15k) but it was just enough to boost our modest savings (after 8yrs both teaching) to get us a mortgage on a house rather than a flat. Without the money we would undoubtedly still be renting. It’s wank, you have my sympathy.

Oh and to insult to injury, our mortgage is literally a third of what we were paying in rent. Makes me cross on my past selfs behalf that I was paying thousands for years to pay off someone else’s mortgage before I could afford my own

DP and I lived with parents until we were 23 paying £800 per month keep. We saved £26k in 2 years from age 21. We borrowed around half of what we were initially offered based on our salaries and decided to get a cheaper house using a 20% deposit to get a better rate. Now we are late 20s with two young children and plan to move to a bigger house in a nicer area once our 1 year old is in school.

Although we didn’t get a cash gift from parents, allowing us to stay at home for a low cost rather than rent enabled us to save. Also, we live in a small town in the NW where you can buy a nice 3 bed with garden for £130K in an ok area and the houses that cost £250K plus are all large 4 bed detached houses in nice areas of town. It must be very difficult in more expensive areas.

Lived in a tatty little bedsit with a Shared bathroom-it was the norm, 25 years ago- and bought a repossession, equally tatty, and gradually did it up. I’m not suggesting you are like this, op, but there does seem to be an expectation that we ‘deserve’ to live in nice flats etc, even as students, and have a fairly lux lifestyle. Back in the day, the norm was to, frankly, slum it in the early years then gradually accumulate better things as you got towards middle age.

You spend £2.5k a month on rent?! No! That’s your problem right there. You find somewhere else to rent for £1.5k (we will gloss over the fact that that is still ludicrous) and then, all of a sudden, you’re saving £1.7k a month. That’s £20,000 in a year. You’ve got your 12% deposit on a £350,000 house in 2 years.

There’s just 2 of you and a newborn. Realistically, how much do you want to do this? It’s perfectly possible, but you cannot have your cake and eat it...

@PotteringAlong @InappropriateFire to clarify our rent is £1300 living outside of London but commuting distance. Our monthly bills and commitments take us up to close to 2.5k . Even council tax is over £200 per month here on a 2 bed .

The main issue now is paying of some credit cards what saving for maternity. That’s where all the expendable income is going . They are zero percent and I’ve paid off about 10K in 18 months which I’m pleased with

We do now budget and plan (didn’t before!) , but knowingly spend on areas we feel entitled to and deserve .. I guess this is clearly where we are going wrong . We did slum it in our early 20’s when earnings were lower and we were just getting by .. then careers progressed and we adjusted and enjoyed ourselves for a bit . Do I regret not saving more for a house in the couple of years we had pre baby? Yes .

There might be something in moving to a less nice area after my mat leave to carry on saving once the childcare kicks in . I know we can do it! Just need some encouragement and realise it’s not long term.

I was prepared for a bit of a telling off compared to those that have made better decisions and worked harder to save. I probably needed it !

Have certainly overspent on some baby things but wanted to get the items I know I wanted before my income dropped.

Shared Ownership. 5% deposit, 95% mortgage (probably can't get them at the moment though). Purchased the biggest % available and a few years later staircased to 100% ownership with freehold.

At the end of our fixed mortgage term we will have around £70k of equity which we can use to get a bigger house.

We're in SW, so expensive housing but low wages.
We saved for a few years, not diligently but got a bit together. PIL gave us some money to help with deposit.
But the best thing we did was buy a new build & bought it at the right time. We didn't realise at the time we were viewing but the builder (Redrow) was coming up to their year end, which meant they wanted to complete on as many sales as possible to reach their targets. They were struggling to sell some north-facing houses, and the agent told us if we made an offer they'd likely accept it - 3-bed semi with garden, garage & 2-car drive for £199,995.
So we worked out how much mortgage we could afford, plus the deposit we'd got & then offered them a sale price of £185,000, plus asked them for an additional 5% deposit to add to our savings & PIL contribution. They accepted & we completed within 2 months before their year end (June). That was in 2012 but it might work for others if houses aren't selling on new estates & you know when each builders year end is.

2.5k on rent and bills?! That’s absolutely insane and not necessary.

@peachypetite yes I’m feeling that it seems too high in comparison .needs a review and maybe some tough decisions. Which as you can all see I clearly struggle with making them !

OP, you have mentioned a couple of times that you both grew up in poverty. Not saying this applies to you, but a friend in similar circumstances is so ashamed of her background that she spends wads of cash to ensure no one thinks she is still poor. Big house, big car, designer clothes, kids dressed in designer clothes. Came out of the work pension to have more disposable cash. But the house and car are rented and they have no savings at all despite earning good salary’s. Just check this isn’t what might be going on with you. You sound like you have done amazingly well in life, no one will think otherwise if you have to slum it for a bit!

You may not come from a wealthy family but you are one by most people’s standards now.

My partner and I saved hard (no going out etc), one crappy old banger car, but with a joint income of 60k we still had to move to the northwest to be able to buy. Luckily we could both move our jobs.

I bought a two bed maisonette in a horrible area of north west London in the mid 80s. I saved the deposit by NOT living comfortably. (cold vile bedsit, no social life for years)

It had no heating, a 1950s canary yellow plywood kitchen with a fist hole in one of the cupboard doors and a black and apple green bathroom. It also had 70 feet of thigh high weeds as a garden.

However, it was solidly built, had new windows and was half a mile from the central line. I spent two years of weekends and evenings fixing it up, sold for £12k profit when everyone else was in negative equity, and left London to buy a house somewhere I liked.

It was a means to an end, that’s all.

I feel your pain!

Currently renting a really lovely house in a rural area of SE. I don’t want to reduce our quality of life to get a house but I’ve got a feeling we’ll have to.
Both earn good salaries 40k and 35k and looking at around 325k, can we find anywhere in the area we want to live? No. Not without huge compromises. Deciding whether we should wait until we can afford more or buy something outside of area.

The biggest step is deciding on priorities. I sacrificed my social life for 3 years, spent all hours I could working for the overtime. No holidays, no car, no stuff, put having a family on hold. 3 years.

And bought a house. Now interest rates are peanuts we are living life.

Honest answer? My parents. Without them gifting me a good chunk for a 25% deposit, I'd never have been able to save enough.

@SandysMam it’s really interesting you say that . I certainly wouldn’t say poverty but surrounded by only low income family and friends, limited role models , first to go to university and get a profession for example. We’ve worked hard to get ourselves in a good position and maybe still keep trying to prove ourselves as ‘successful’ in life .

We are in very good pensions paid in from 22. So no, I know I have overspent but wouldn’t dream of not paying into my pension to fund excess.

@WinterAndRoughWeather it’s an adjustment to think that way and consider ourselves wealthy .. it seems normal now.

Depends what you mean by commutable as well. £350k here would easily get you a 4 bed detached in walking distance of the station, and you're an hour to Euston. So downgrade that to £230k and you have a 2/3 bed terrace, money for the season ticket and move up in a couple of years.