Tell me how you got the first step on the housing ladder .

[Mollymarvelous70]

The pressure to get on the housing market has just been getting me down recently and I’m losing motivation.

DH and I have reasonable paying jobs but we just can’t seem to save enough to get on the housing ladder in the south east whilst living comfortably. In the past 2 years we’ve saved about 8k sat in Lisa’s but it just feels like such a slog to get anywhere near what we need. I did make the mistake of posting on Money Saving Expert a while ago for budgeting advice but got ripped apart for our level of earnings and lack of ability to save which made me feel a bit embarrassed tbh. Some people are really struggling and I realised that i didn’t want to penny pinch to the extremes and receive the critical judgement lots of people on their face But equally I do want to move forward.

We earn about 45k ish each but outgoings are high due to area mans student loans.

I wondered how many had to save for their deposit and how long it took them. Did you have any crafty or innovative ways you got the money together so you could just get going ?

Just interested to hear others experience really for some motivation.

@Mollymarvelous70 I was referring to Rugby. Nice town, pretty quiet, loads of cafes etc.

I did 4 paper rounds and cash in hand cleaning whilst at school, carried on the cleaning and got a retail job at college. I was living at home and seriously saved every penny. Then instead of uni I did a paid apprenticeship and had my deposit at 19. I bought a little 2 bed terrace and then continued hammering the mortgage whilst working full time and doing a distance learning degree. No posh holidays, no party years, banger cars. Now 28 and got plenty of equity so upgraded house. Now it's time to live whilst I'm still young 🤷🏻‍♀️.

@JoJoSM2 thanks for sharing , clearly wasn’t easy..
@Burnthurst187 great mentality to have! I am realising starting young is so important and having a good relationship with money .

No op. I'm a single mum with 3 very young kids and a xh who is totally untrustworthy and unreliable. I work part time and my xh disappeared with my financial security. £45000.00 a year for the four of us would be amazing.

@AwkwardPaws27 yes will check them out. Agree less seems more doable . Some earlier posters suggested tracking milestones to help incentivise which I like .

We have made a lot of changes since planning for baby and have a good sight on where the money is going now but this wasn’t the case a couple of years ago. I’ve been following this and mse to look at our bills.. it’s been helpful .

@motherofawhirlwind rugby . I’ve actually never been . You never know ..

@JoleneExotic wow that’s done work ethic! I’m sure it will inspire other young people around you . Enjoy the good times . I’ll swap you

@OhioOhioOhio sorry to hear that . I hope your fortune changes.

What did I do when saving for a house deposit?

1. Chose to take a job somewhere houses were affordable.
2. Saved 40-50% of my net income.
3. Socialised by inviting people over for dinner rather than going out, and doing other free/cheap things.

Ultimately you have to change your mindset.

At the moment you view the fact that you've lived beyond your means to the tune of £17,000 of debt as just one of those things. But it was a choice at every point.

Just like it's a choice to spend £400 each on spending money.

£5k take home, £2500 bills £700 cards, £700 savings and £800 spending money still leaves £200 unaccounted for.

£2500 bills - have you really examined this? £1500 rent and council tax, but what's the other £1000?

I pay £50 a month for gas and electric, £20 water, £10 mobile, £25 for fibre broadband, £25 car insurance, £10 car tax, £12 home insurance so that's about £150-£160 a month. Add on maybe £50 a month to cover car maintenance like MOT etc. Are you definitely on the best deals for bills? If not you're spending money on things that. fun, just for the sake of not switching.

Are you including expensive phone or gym contracts in regular bills? It's legitimate to decide you want those things (I pay a cleaner and have an expensive gym membership), but I would try and recategorise them in your head as treats, and me money.

Ultimately only you can decide whether you'd rather spend your money on luxuries (and you're spending £9600 a year between you on that, excluding bills) or whether you'd rather save more. You can't do both. You can reframe savings into a positive light and choosing to do inexpensive things doesn't have to be a sacrifice. But you have to want to do it. And if you don't you don't, but that means not saving.

I think I saw a comment OP where you mentioned future childcare costs would be £300 pcm? Is that really so? We were paying far more than that for a part time place and not in London (but still a major city so expensive).

My DH and I have got so much better with money since having children. I think you'll look back in what and how you spent your money and be shocked.

We had no help, ever and I saw you being envious of inheritances I'm sure most people would rather have their loved one than the money.

My DH and I will never receive an inheritance either. We've had to subsidise family on a lower household income than yours too.

You could so easily save and save successfully.

Op. We'll be fine. I have a great family and I do know how to save. Not to intend to be patronising but there are no affordable houses. It's all hard graft. I have some mantras, some I've picked up from here. 'you can only spend each pound once.' or, 'if I buy that then they have the money out of my purse and it won't be my money anymore.' it is hard but it is so, so worth it.

@Mollymarvelous70 another thought - childcare always seemed relatively cheap. We're going back a bit but when friends in London were paying £100 a day minimum and even Coventry was £60 a day, it was all £35ish a day here. Saved a fortune!

If you want info on areas, just PM me.

I earn a similar amount of your combined wages, but obviously being one person I will pay more tax.

I saved every penny, nights out reduced and became cheaper, I had one three night holiday while saving my deposit, the rest of the time my son and I had very cheap days out. I rented a very cheap one bed flat, I didn’t have any TV subscriptions e.g netflix etc. Most of my sons clothes and toys were second hand.

I needed a big deposit as I was buying in North London. I managed to save a decent deposit in just shy of three years. If I had maintained my lifestyle before I started saving it would have taken over ten years to save the same amount.

6 years saving and paying rent as well and that was in the 70s

@SciFiScream

It’s upsetting to twist my sentiment on people that get gifts or inherit . At my age it’s mostly gifts to get on the ladder . Of course people are lucky to receive these gifts but in no way does that diminish the loss of parents or family . No one would say that . Im not a monster !

@flowerycurtain Sell the beautiful pram and take less maternity . Are you mad ?! No way. I’ve got good earning potential for another 35 years , you don’t get that 6 months back ! Can’t see me and Ramsey getting along

Nope. Not mad. Just a mortgage free homeowner investing steadily for my children to have house deposits and pensions.

@SimonJT really goes to show it is possible with some work . Thanks for sharing

@motherofawhirlwind area really does seem to have big impact . I’ve lived SE my whole life . Maybe it is time for a change .. not that I like change much but it might create the opportunity .

@OhioOhioOhio yes I appreciate the change in mentality required . Great to have family support that makes a big difference once kids are in tow.

@Nacreous thanks for this . I don’t want to lay my full finances bare. I’m not sure it will end as a positive experience for me or make me feel good but thank you for your comments on how it can be approached. There is of course more work to do and decisions to be made which would speed up our savings. We’ve made some of these in the last 18 mnths or so which has significantly reduced our debt and created some savings . So positive about the future !

@flowerycurtain it’s very impressive and you’ve clearly got a very good approach to money management that’s worked for you and your family . I do know of Ramsey and don’t subscribe to his style but recognise this works for lots of people.

I don't want to bash the pregnant lady but I do think you need some strong words! You have a great household income and you need to spend it smartly. If you really want to buy a house you'll stop frittering cash away on things you don't need - if you put your minds to it you can save a lot more I'm sure. Have you not been able to save more during lockdown? You're also in a great position with your enhanced maternity pay. Can you really not use the pay you get in the first 6 months to cover your outgoings in the second? Genuinely intrigued to know what you think you'll spend £500 a month on during mat leave! When I was pregnant I really wanted an Egg pram because it was so pretty. We could afford it but it just wasn't practical for what I would use it for so I bought a Silver Cross instead. Make sure the pram is practical as well as pretty or that could prove a costly mistake.

OP, I don’t think this thread is about getting on the housing ladder. It is more about how frustrating it is that house prices are so high where you are. Realistically, the houses you are interested in are 400k and actually, you really need a 15% deposit plus moving fees which is looking at about 65k. That is a massive amount of money to save, and easy to see why it would be daunting.
Our house is too small for us. It is the worst house on a lovely road and I look at some of the others wistfully and wonder how they afford it. BUT!! We have 50% equity, enough space when the clutter is under control and I love the security owning brings.
We saved up like crazy, then brought cheap and a bit shitty but it was our cheap and OUR shitty and we can improve over time!

I would advise anyone in this position, especially if young and without ties, to think seriously about whether a move to a cheaper location is feasible.

I did this shortly after graduation, before I had settled down and had ties. Having grown up in Reading I picked Glasgow, where my earning power for my particular career was identical, and where I was able to buy a gorgeous 3 bed Victorian tenement flat for the same price as a pokey studio in Reading. (15 years back anyway)

I have moved on from that but kept it to rent as financially I was able to. I believe that initial decision has made a huge difference to my quality of life; I didn't have to wait long for a deposit and my disposable income for doing things I love, travel, eating out, theatre, comedy etc is much higher than it would have been in South East. I have also weathered break ups more readily as I didn't have to be financially tied to partners, which would be more difficult in the South East.

You need to adjust your expectations.

Many of my friends moaned for ages that they couldn’t get on the housing ladder.

What they meant was they couldn’t afford a “nice” 3 bed with garden in their chosen area.

Meanwhile I bought a flat in an area I could afford. 5 years later I made profit enough to upgrade to the nice 3 bed, they were still moaning about not being able to save.

You have a joint income of 90k. So most banks would lend around 310k. That’s enough for a 1 or 2 bed even in London if you choose the right area.

As for outgoings, when my kids were young and nursery fees etc I switched to an interest only mortgage. Yes it extended the term 5 years but it will still be paid off before retirement. Again if you’re in London where property prices are high you can also think about retiring somewhere cheaper if you still have mortgage to pay off.

I had to move out of home and I'd have never ever managed to pull together a deposit on my own while renting.

Sorry, I was one who essentially used inheritance from my grandparents as a deposit.

@BabyMoonPie please don’t bash me Too much . A few people have been surprised about spending money of £500 per month . I thought this was really reasonable so I could meet up with friends , have some lunches out and buy baby bits and things I need. Maybe I could try and do it for less and pay the difference into savings at the end . Interested if others recall how much they used on maternity . I’m happy with the pram. I only plan to buy it once . Should I need another or a stroller later I’ll go second hand.

@SandysMam yes I think it’s about three things. 1. The cost of living in the SE for young people even on good salaries 2. How to manage that salary and make it go further with all the advice I’ve been given on here 3. Start taking it seriously on your 20’s and educate yourself about money young . I’d be proud to be in a position to leave my kids something when I go. Saying that if we carry on as we are we would be the type to spend it all on cruises until the end

I realise it’s all relative and giving our salaries feels a bit over exposing in hindsight . For this area we aren’t considered well off just normal. I know lots of people manage and clearly thrive on a lot less.

There was an amazing stair casing scheme in our local area. Essentially you rented directly off the builder but each month a portion of your rent bought you some equity so at the end of each year you would own x % of the house and the builder would still own y %. The percentage the buyer owned obviously increased each year and the builder's percentage decreased.

You didn't have to pay a deposit but you could if you wanted to accrue your equity quicker.

We were struggling to save whilst paying rent also, so it was a really good chance for us to get on the housing ladder. We lived there a few years and then used the equity we'd accrued to move on to our second home.

At one point they attempted to branch out into London and then after that the scheme stopped completely which I thought was a real shame for those who are struggling with getting the deposit together even though, with rent usually being higher than mortgage payments, they would be able to make their mortgage payments.

We saved for 3 years to be able to buy our place. 21k and 26k salaries. We saved £600 a month minimum as soon as we got paid and before we did ANYTHING that month (apart from pay our rent and bills). Anything extra left over at the end of the month also got added to the pot - a spare 20 quid even if that's all it was. We cut down on going out and tried to do free activities like walks, very few takeaways, no new clothes unless absolutely needed, no sky TV or similar, no fancy make up for me, cheap cars. We bought a cinema card as our source of entertainment for the last year and still went a holiday every year because we agreed it was the one thing we valued too much to give up. We got no help from family. We saved a 25% deposit for our dream flat.

I know you said you've heard it before but if you budget and stick to it, you'll save more thank you think you can. Make a list of all your outgoings. Cancel unnecessary subscriptions if you can do without them, change all your important direct debits to come out a couple of days after you get paid. Phone all your utilities and ask for discounts or go online to compare and switch. Add the savings your house fund. Work out how much you can save and set up a standing order and get that transferred into the account you're using to save. That way you won't feel guilty about spending the leftover money and you'll have prioritised your current non negotiable expenses and savings.

The £500 has surprised me as well, I’m not great with money and generally if I see something I like/want I will buy it. In normal times me and my son eat out twice a week at least, I would normally eat out with friends at least once a week and have a big night out once a month.

I live in Zone 1 so things are pricey, I don’t spend anywhere near £500 a month on what is essentially leisure and entertainment.