Carehome taking all the money

[Pugsrus]

At the minute we are using her personal money to pay the care home fees ,yet other residents are getting it for free .
It seems very unfair we now have to sell the house,so we will be paying Well over £250,000 in care home fees ..how is this fair .she saved for years to pass the money on to her grandchildren.
Is there anything we can do

That’s how it works. The only thing you can do is provide adequate care yourself and try and hang onto the house. I have a feeling though you wouldn’t be able to do that, or else you’d be doing it already.

she saved for years to pass the money on to her grandchildren.

Can they look after her at their own expense?

You put the hard graft in to get the financial reward of inheritance, that's how, and don't put them in a care home. I cared for my grandmother for the last 2 years of her life - however I did it because I loved her and there was no inheritance to feel that I had a right to.

I'd personally be grateful that they are being well looked after.

I agree, it's not fair that some people get it for free but if you have an asset (such as a family home) they can force a sale to pay for it. I don't think there is any way around it, certainly not at this stage anyway.

Is there anything we can do

Look after her yourself and/ or pay for carers to visit a couple of times per day.

This is unfortunately how it works. Finances are assessed and assets used to fund care until the individual reaches a threshold where state funding takes over-I believe this is just over £23000 in personal savings. The alternatives are providing care yourself in your own or relatives home or keeping them home and funding private in home care. There are some exceptions where the NHS will fund care non means tested but these are very limited e.g. palliative care. We have a social care crisis in this country and it’s just getting worse unfortunately and with a large amount of res care being private it is notoriously expensive.

Unfortunately that is how it works, it costs a lot to look after someone in a care home. Depending on what care they need.

@PenelopePitstop49 do you think you could perhaps be a little bit more sanctimonious?

that's what happens. The alternative is to die earlier.

no inheritance is ever guaranteed. Look at it this way - she worked hard to ensure she would be cared for in her old age.

I agree. However, having provided 24 hr care before putting my Dad into a care home, I’m very happy that he is in a safe environment & I’d happily pay every penny to ensure that.

The State does not have an infinite pot of money (Dad keeps only around £20 a week before his care home fees are calculated now other money is exhausted) and although I’d love the money he did have to buy my home, help my kids with deposits etc, it just isn’t going to happen.

If you have an asset you have to pay I'm afraid. The taxpayer would not want to foot the bill if you are worth 200,000 grand or so. When you have nothing then the taxpayer has to pay. You could solve it by taking loved one out of carehome and look after them yourself. That way you won't miss out on your inheritance.

My mums house is hers until she dies, if that means it is sold to pay for her care then fair enough. You shouldn’t expect an inheritance
If you don’t want HER to spend HER money on HER care do it yourself

I can't even fathom how much it would cost to totally fund social care for everyone

This is how it works , as everyone else has said if you want to keep your inheritance then you either have to fund her care or care for her yourself . You can’t seriously expect the state ie other tax payers to look after your ailing parent so that your children can inherit .

How do you know that the people who are LA funded were ever in a position to be able to buy their own house, or save a shit load of money? They don't get it for free completely you know. Any pension they get is used against the fees. Oh, and you're not paying anything, she is. It's her money, her care needs. It doesn't belong to her children or grandchildren.
People in care homes who have to sell their homes to fund them generally didn't do an awful lot to make the money in their house. My first house cost £18k thirty years ago. We paid £30k in total in mortgage payments and it's now worth £275k. We didn't 'work hard' to make that money!

As others has said, you want the inheritance, work for it by providing the care yourself!

Your families bank accounts, houses and assets are THEIRS until they die, they worked for it so they get to spend it, if that means it goes on outside help to give them some comfort and dignity so be it!

Neither mine or my partners families have money at all but we are lucky we all live close enough to provide care ourselves between us when the time comes, but if you can't or won't, assets will have to be used to pay the people looking after your family!

Another option, which we did for my grandmother, is to rent out the house to pay for the care. Using DGM pension and income from the house we were able to cover the monthly fees which meant the house didn’t need to be sold until after she died (we actually rented to one of our cousins so it was still in use by family). Of course this only really has a chance of working if the property is mortgage free.

It's the same as uni feee: those who have money pay for it those that don't get significant amount of help.
Care homes are private so not free, if your relative has the funds to pay for her care why shouldn't she pay?

Some people I know hand the house over to their children long before getting ill (in their 60s) to avoid this, and move money around whilst they're alive and well. I think they'll take all the money and the house until she gets down to a it £20k I'm afraid. It's too late to do anything now

Can one of you move in to her home to care for her? Or do it between you? We did that with my grandma.

You only get your care for 'free' if you have run out of money! Everyone has to pay fully for their own care until they reach savings of £23,250, at which point the local authority will contribute towards the care. Some elements of care can get funded, but it is very rare.

It frustrates me that people have this presumption that they are entitled to their relatives' inheritance - you should feel lucky if you receive anything, not be tapping your fingers impatiently waiting for it to hit your bank account.

This is why money and assets should be transferred over years before it gets to this stage, instead of clinging onto it until the bitter end. Also avoids all arguments regarding wills and inheritance

I understand why it feels unfair but why should anyone use state money when they have a quarter of a million in assets?

Any savings/assets should be thought of as paying for things you need (like a care home) before assuming they can be passed on as inheritance though I know it would piss me off too!

I don't think it's fair for the taxpayer to pay just so the grandchildren can keep their thousands.

It is unfair when one person pays £5k a week to have the same care, food, activities, staffing numbers as a socially funded resident unless its a solely private funders home if they even exist but thats how it works. Various govts have said they will cap the fees but it never happens. Self funders always prop up the council. Maybe the LA and private funders should be charged the same rate. The way I try and look at it is someone has moved home therefore has to pay for it, its not the tax payers responsibility. Private funders can seek a contribution for the nursing element and continue to receive some benefits which help but I agree it does feel unfair.

'it's not fair some get it for free'

Do you think that's lucky? Those that get it for free don't have the money, they absolutely should get taken care of for gods sake.