Carehome taking all the money

[Pugsrus]

At the minute we are using her personal money to pay the care home fees ,yet other residents are getting it for free .
It seems very unfair we now have to sell the house,so we will be paying Well over £250,000 in care home fees ..how is this fair .she saved for years to pass the money on to her grandchildren.
Is there anything we can do

I didn't realise that. It's a total con I think. Nobody knows who is going to need care in their old age. Sometimes it just isnt possible to care for somebody at home. I don't know what the answer is. The costs seem astronomical.

It’s so unsustainable once all the boomers have died. The majority of people who can afford to find their own care haven’t just ‘worked hard’. They have often been lucky in terms of benefiting from a wealth of jobs and opportunities in the sixties and seventies that are simply not there for the majority of people born in the eighties and after that.

@autopilotpeach

Ask the grandparent to put the house in someone elses name ie one of the children or grandchildren..

You mean deprivation of assets? That's a really shitty thing to suggest. So tax payers are in effect giving some grandchild somewhere a free wad of money that the grandchild has done absolutely nothing to deserve?

I never expected tax payers to fund my parents' care. They worked hard all their lives and their money was there to fund it.
But the care was so poor.
The staff so badly paid.
We had to be physically present every single day just to make sure they were washed, fed, given medication, keep track of belongings.
I couldn't understand where all that money was going.

I think many of us hope we can pass some inheritance to our children just to help with the huge cost of housing. Aspirations to own you own home are becoming unachievable for a larger number of people.

Given current life expectancies it's unlikely many of today's generation would even receive an inheritance until they're in their 50s so I'm not sure how that helps the current housing issues. I plan to help my child as much as I can whilst I live rather than them banking on my death for help with housing. I'm hardly wealthy but will do what I can.

I think when you've spent years and years paying of a mortgage to see it disappear on care costs in a very short time is disappointing.

I'm paying my mortgage in the knowledge I will potentially have to use my house for care in the future.

In a couple of generations there will be no home owners left to pay for care, especially as it’s mainly people with dementia who have to pay for their care, and dementia runs in families. So there will be poor families due to health conditions alone lock out of home ownership. If they are finally able to treat this disease then there may be hope. I think we need to look at social care national insurance to lighten the load for those unfortunate enough to need it, a bit like we do with the NHS.

My Mum's house is to keep her safe and for her to have somewhere to live, if it has to sold to carry on doing that in a home so be it.

My Dad was in a home, but only for around 4 months before he died, and that was paid from their savings.

It still seems unfair but I cannot think of any other way to do which would not incur huge bills for the tax payer.

In effect what you are saying is that you expect other people, often on low wages and struggling to provide for their own families, to fund her care so you can have an inheritance. Doesn't sound quite so fair when you look at it from a different perspective does it?

Lots of people outlive at least one of thier children these days. Many people don't loose both parents until they are in their 60s.

You only leave your children an inheritance specifically to help them get on the property ladder if you die prematurely. Even if you have your children in your 40s, they'll be in their 40s themselves by the time they've lost both parents if at least one reaches the average life expectancy.

If your aim in working and saving is to give your children money to use when they're getting started as younger adults, you save in your children's names in children's savings accounts and juniour ISAs etc. You don't hold a house you live in til you're 80+ over their heads as "their inheritance".

lose not loose

It’s sad but if your family wants to honour her wishes then they need to be prepared to facilitate home care.

My DD works in carehome where each client needs two carers to do personal care and all other care including social events. She gets minimum wage zero contract hours. So 2 carers at £8 an hour each x 24 hours is £384 x 7 days a week = £2688. That's just wages without utilities, insurance, training costs, food, entertainment. Even if you halve it because not everyone needs 2 carers it is still eye watering. You don't get cheaper care if you need 2 carers. If you have to pay for care in your own home you will be charged between 15-24 pounds an hour. Someone has to pay. The taxpayer cannot afford to pay for all and that is why it is means tested and rightly so.

@thatsnotgoingtowork

Lots of people outlive at least one of thier children these days. Many people don't loose both parents until they are in their 60s.

You only leave your children an inheritance specifically to help them get on the property ladder if you die prematurely. Even if you have your children in your 40s, they'll be in their 40s themselves by the time they've lost both parents if at least one reaches the average life expectancy.

If your aim in working and saving is to give your children money to use when they're getting started as younger adults, you save in your children's names in children's savings accounts and juniour ISAs etc. You don't hold a house you live in til you're 80+ over their heads as "their inheritance".

You see a parent owning their own home as holding it over the heads of their offspring?

Well you could alway take her to your house and look after your self!!

That’s what I have told my family if you want the house then one of you will need to look after me otherwise it’s going on my care!!

A friend of mine has moved her aunt into her mums house and they are now have the care package from the council and they pay another lady that comes in for 38 hours a week, plus all the family have a rota to visit and help.

They are renting out the aunties house to help with the cost. They say this is working out cheaper then a home and that both the mum and the auntie are very happy.

Only problem was the lockdown, but the lady who comes in every day moved In fall time as she lives on her own, luckily it’s a three bedroom house.

Caring for your relatives yourself, this works fine if you have the space, you have someone around who doesn’t work, you can afford to have an extra person in your home, your relative is sweet and lovely and completely compliant, also light as a feather, you can afford and have space for stairlifts, winches and moveable toilets. Not so great if you don’t have the right set up, you have an angry or violent relative, someone who wakes up in the night and wanders round waking up everyone else, if they are heavy and you struggle to lift them.

Yes it does help if you have the space, but if you mum sells her house then you can use that money for a extension or to buy a bigger house. I have luckily got a bedroom and a bathroom downstairs in my house. I sometimes don’t think People plan for what is going to happen to them in old age, we should all really start sorting out what will happen to us. You should have a family meeting and make a plan, but that should happen in you late sixties not when your in your eights. We all need to further proof for our old age.

I'm not due to inherit and neither is my partner. One of my siblings is desperate to not allow my parents into a home so she can inherit and thinks we should all help. I've provided for myself and had an emotionally neglectful childhood so I've opted out. I intend to give my dc a good portion of my wealth before I get too old.

Same with everything really. Those that save hard for their retirement have to use savings and those that don't save ( I understand many just can't), or spend it all or give it away get it all paid for.

Just to clarify my comment, I was trying to simplify the confusion. I missed out a vital part that they will pay up to £500 of care costs.

Yes there is more to it than that, I appreciate, but considering some are of the opinion that self funders are subsidising those who receive financial support ,I was trying to keep it simple (and making a balls up of it in the process)

My info is based on one home,in one authority. Residential (not nursing) with a separate facility for dementia. I left the role late last year .

I learnt from my mums stint in a care home that its best if you have enough savings/property to pay a year or so in a care home so that you have a choice of where you go. But there’s no point in having shed loads of money

NotYourDawg depends entirely on the home. Some I guess will operate as you describe but most in our authority have once cost for those placed by the LA and another for those placing privately. Sometimes there is a top up for those placed by the LA and other times there isn't, but often the top up is nowhere near to the private rate.

sinister no one ever said looking after disabled or elderly or dementia sufferers was easy. Just think my DD ( 5' 3") is expected to do all that ( and much much more) looking after severely autistic young adults with severe learning difficulties all over 6 foot tall for £8 an hour. Last week she had 5 stitches in a , 3 human bites and a bald patch on her head where her hair was pulled out. Not the clients fault they cannot help it they know not what they do. But someone has to look after them. And it costs.

@FormerlyFrikadela01

I think many of us hope we can pass some inheritance to our children just to help with the huge cost of housing. Aspirations to own you own home are becoming unachievable for a larger number of people.

Given current life expectancies it's unlikely many of today's generation would even receive an inheritance until they're in their 50s so I'm not sure how that helps the current housing issues. I plan to help my child as much as I can whilst I live rather than them banking on my death for help with housing. I'm hardly wealthy but will do what I can.

I think when you've spent years and years paying of a mortgage to see it disappear on care costs in a very short time is disappointing.

I'm paying my mortgage in the knowledge I will potentially have to use my house for care in the future.

I'm 60, my mother is 84, my grandmother was 101 when she died (I was 30). If I waited for my mum to die I'd probably be able to get a house by the time I was 75.

Rents are currently much more expensive than mortgages for the same value property. It's the ridiculous increase in house prices that's pricing younger people out of the housing market.

Inheritance are a driver of high property prices. They give an advantage to those who get one and, obviously, a disadvantage to those who don't.

When I lived and worked in USA all my contemporaries rented.
For me it was great. I had a comfortable apartment and no responsibilities.
If anything broke or went wrong a simple phone call sorted it asap.
The problem is that in the UK that doesn't happen.
If the whole industry could be regulated to get rid of bad landlords thing woyld be very different.