Carehome taking all the money

[Pugsrus]

At the minute we are using her personal money to pay the care home fees ,yet other residents are getting it for free .
It seems very unfair we now have to sell the house,so we will be paying Well over £250,000 in care home fees ..how is this fair .she saved for years to pass the money on to her grandchildren.
Is there anything we can do

Care homes are very expensive, yet pay staff a pittance and plead poverty when it comes to paying for PPE

IME council funded carehomes were much better than private except not so luxurious but thats not what I would look for anyway. The care was better.

I'd never use a care home again. We took my grandma out after we discovered they were 'economising' on incontinence supplies by leaving them in soiled pants for hours. She was paying a fortune. We brought her home and cared for her on a rota. It was hard, as she had dementia, but I'm glad we did it.

No care home is free.

So those people you say are getting it for free, aren't.

My mum was a SAHM to nine children all her life. Her and my father split and he took every penny. She had nothing. Never owned any property as was in Housing Executive property all her life, paying rent.

She developed Alzheimer's and we tried to nurse her at home, but after three years it became evident she needed round the clock professional care.

We looked at care homes. Every single one has a top up fee that needed paid, be that by savings or the resident's family. Whilst some top up fees were less than others, none of the care homes were entirely free.

Her pension goes towards her upkeep there and we pay a top of fee of £720 per month which is £80 each (the nine children as she has no savings, so I am glad at times like this there are more of us to split the cost!)

Please don't think people are getting elderly care for free. It's not happening.

Exactly the same with us, my grandma is 98 and thankfully only last year went into a home and now all of her savings are gone we are going to have to sell her house 😢

OP It’s not your money 🤣

Pay more taxes so there is an NHS for social care?

Look after her yourself?

Not everyone needs residential care, and if being cared for in their own home, the value of the house is not considered in the financial calculations.

choice rent out her property & top up or hand over property - I think they allow the first 16000 so that will be left (for funeral expenses etc -what I am not sure about is to be coldly practical is whether you are allowed to prepay her funeral costs. before anyone says anything - the first month my dm was in a nursing home they asked us had we considered what we would do about her funeral arrangements!!! ie cremation or burial)

I mean, surely the priority is her care and comfort in old age, not the amount of ££ you have to spend once she pops her clogs?

@penelopepitstop49 - I loved my mum too but had to put her in a care home as I was unable to provide safe care for her.
What a lovely post yours was, well done for making me feel bad!

Newschapter depends where you are. In my local authority there are a number of care homes which for LA funded residents there are no top up fees.

Also, if you and your siblings refused to pay, and put that in writing, the LA would have no choice but to foot the full amount - what do you think they do with people who have no family and no savings?

Hi OP,

Maybe reading this might help:

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/

@GreyGardens88

This is why money and assets should be transferred over years before it gets to this stage, instead of clinging onto it until the bitter end. Also avoids all arguments regarding wills and inheritance

Exactly

Maybe we should turf the poor residents out on to the street so those paying for it from an asset feel like they are getting value for money? Does that work, op?

Not sure family can refuse to pay without seeking legal advice. Its not the family's money or property.

I think it is wrong to be honest. I’ve worked in a Carr home and it was one of the best ones at the time. I often heard the elderly complain that they have had to sell their houses whilst others haven’t saved and they all end up in the same Carr home.

£1000 a week per resident. Where is all the money going and it’s been like this for years? It definitely needs looking into. I think a contribution should be made but that’s a lot of money don’t you think?

I can’t say it covers all the wages as the care assistants are not fantastically paid..

'whilst others haven’t saved and they all end up in the same Carr home.'

If you've worked in carE home then I'd hope for a more developed sense empathy and critical thinking. Plenty don't have the luxury of 'not saving', they don't have any money TO save ffs. It's not difficult to grasp

I'd rather pay my taxes towards funding social care rather than someone's inheritance

My bitterness comes from years of working in care homes and then caring in peoples own homes watching elderly people be neglected and go without while relatives were scrabbling over their rightful inheritances.

No one has a right to money. My grandmother had heart failure, complex medical needs, had poor mobility but steadfastly refused to go into care. I had 3 primary school aged children at home (one excluded from school to add and going through ADHD assessments), yet I drove the 6 miles there and 6 miles back 3/4 times a day to do everything for my gran. It nearly broke me, and all the other family members stood back and watch me do it.

I'd still do it all over again though. Staying in her own home was all she wanted to do.

So please don't call me sanctimonious.

@covidco

Newschapter depends where you are. In my local authority there are a number of care homes which for LA funded residents there are no top up fees.

Also, if you and your siblings refused to pay, and put that in writing, the LA would have no choice but to foot the full amount - what do you think they do with people who have no family and no savings?

Hi, yes, there was one in our area (well about 30 miles from where I live but within my mum's council area) and to be honest with you, I wouldn't have left my dog there for the weekend.

We live in rural Ireland and there aren't a lot to choose from. We'd rather pay the money and know she's being cared for.

But yes, I hadn't thought about how people with no family are cared for.

What is the alternative - those who have no savings or a house should be left to rot in their home with no care? If you believe that everyone has the capacity to save and just didn’t bother you’re living on another planet.

@Soontobe60

How do you know that the people who are LA funded were ever in a position to be able to buy their own house, or save a shit load of money? They don't get it for free completely you know. Any pension they get is used against the fees. Oh, and you're not paying anything, she is. It's her money, her care needs. It doesn't belong to her children or grandchildren. People in care homes who have to sell their homes to fund them generally didn't do an awful lot to make the money in their house. My first house cost £18k thirty years ago. We paid £30k in total in mortgage payments and it's now worth £275k. We didn't 'work hard' to make that money!

Agree with all of this. My Mum was distraught when my Nan had to go into a care home. She had dementia and after years of care juggled with a job and her own family she just couldn’t be left alone at all anymore. My Nan didn’t own a home but the care home took pretty much all of her government and private pensions and any benefit she was receiving. Just because someone doesn’t own a home they aren’t ‘getting it for free’

SuzetteCrepe my advice re refusing to pay was not aimed at the OP but at Newschapter. You are right there, if it isn't their money or assets, they cannot not pay.

Newschapter that's a shame. Some of the best care homes in our area are the ones with no top up! Some of don't look the prettiest but the care is good and the number of safeguarding referrals received from them low. Which is generally what I judge by (seeing as that is where I get my info from).

Ask the grandparent to put the house in someone elses name ie one of the children or grandchildren..

It may feel harsh but people should pay for care if they can before asking others too. Many people have never had the ability to build up saving.

autopilotpeach too late for that. It would be deliberate deprivation of assets, which is illegal and the LA will take the family to court for (and very likely win). Families try it all the time. It virtually never successful.