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Original poster

To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

365 replies

Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 09:53

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

OP posts:
Blankscreen · 07/01/2020 12:53

If it's a cash flow issue because you are skint after Christmas and if you wait the deal will be gone and you know you can and will pay it back then go ahead.
If you know you can't/ won't pay it back then don't do it as you can't afford the holiday.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 13:00

Bluntness how the hell can young children have a treat without involving adults

How do you not know the answer to this? Of course adults need to be involved. The point is the children don't have to and shouldn't have to pay for the parents to be treated, the money should be spent on the children,

Are people seriously trying to argue that the toddlers Christmas money should be spent on the op and her husband going to a five star cottage in the Cotswolds? Because the kids come too?

I mean spending it on food is one, thing, but fuck me there are some mercenary grabby folks out there. Taking from your own kids too.

Toooldtobearsed2 · 07/01/2020 13:06

@Bluntness100 totally agree.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 13:10

Almost everything I earn is spent on my kids, not me

So this means you're entitled to help yourself to their Christmas presents? 😱

As a parent it's our job to provide for our kids. If that takes everything you've got, then that takes everything you've got. It doesn't mean you're entitled to steal their money from them.

AChickenCalledDaal · 07/01/2020 13:10

Toddlers live in the moment. I'm pretty sure they'll get more enjoyment out of a holiday with their happy parents than out of a savings account being topped up. I'd go for it and enjoy being able to relax and have a nice time with them.

My teens still remember holidays we had when they were tiny. They don't remember many toys that were bought back then and they certainly don't remember whether we paid any money into their savings accounts.

crustycrab · 07/01/2020 13:14

Teens don't remember any money paid into their savings accounts? Isn't it still there? Confused

VioletCharlotte · 07/01/2020 13:16

I don't think there's anything wrong with this at all. People gave the children money in place of presents, not for savings for their future. They could just have easily have bought them a heap of toys. I don't see what's wrong on spending money on a fun experience for the family that will enhance their lifestyle.

TheOrigFV45 · 07/01/2020 13:18

I wouldn't.
I think it's a slippery slope. £ in my kids' accounts is either long term savings (that they don't know about) or Birthday money they've saved for big ticket items.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 13:24

I'm pretty sure they'll get more enjoyment out of a holiday with their happy parents than out of a savings account being topped up

More enjoyment than what? A few days at local attractions, and parents spending time with them? How do you measure their level of enjoyment.

Bottom line is the money is being used predominantly to treat the op. No way round it.

Emmapeeler1 · 07/01/2020 13:27

So this means you're entitled to help yourself to their Christmas presents?

My family doesn’t give money for Christmas, but yes I believe the OP is entitled to spend their Christmas money on a treat for them, which a holiday is. The money is being spent on the children because any holiday with toddlers revolves around entertaining toddlers.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 07/01/2020 13:27

I wouldn't myself BUT I don't see anything wrong with it fundamentally. I wouldn't judge you for it.

Ragwort · 07/01/2020 13:27

AChicken that’s an odd thing to say, my DS is now at uni and is delighted that he has substantial savings generated from years of Christmas and birthday present money. He is using them wisely and has found a part time job as well as he understands the benefit of earning and saving.

I can see both sides of the OP’s position, I certainly wouldn’t be spending £300 on toys, I suggest you ask the person who gave you the money if they re happy for you to spend it on a family holiday.

My parents frequently gave us money as birthday and Christmas gifts and one year specifically said it was flights to a particular destination we had been talking about.

life2day · 07/01/2020 13:36

If the money was intended to be saved then that is different. If it was to spend on what you see fit - you are the parent and U know what is best for your child and their needs. If family in need of a quality time together and fun for kids then kids are benefiting. Saving the money is good but I'm sure that was not the purpose of the gift as I take it - it was not a lump sum but accumulation. Post is worded like cottage is really posh and nice ... just need to think is that your benefit or kids. We take kids to Center parks and Butlin's and I know they benefit from it and if I was to use their money I know they would have a fab time but equally they would not suffer if they needed a new clothes and I spent their gift money already. Hope that makes sense. If u are doubting it then maybe you know holiday is for you and not kids.

Postmanbear · 07/01/2020 13:36

I don’t see a problem with this at all. Pretend that the next 3 months of money you put in their accounts is the gift money if it makes you feel better.
I have toddlers and they love going on holiday as the focus is on family time rather than being distracted with jobs around the house.
My parents give us money for the children to spend as we see fit. I would rather my family spent money on a holiday than stuck it in a bank account for years to come.

CatteStreet · 07/01/2020 13:37

A week in a five star cottage will not 'enhance the lifestyle' of the toddlers. They are toddlers!

It's almost more the mental gymnastics to justify this as somehow beneficial to the children (not just on the OP's part) that bothers me more than the actual proposition (which I think would be not on at all, and also quite possibly the start of a slippery slope).

Nicolanomore24 · 07/01/2020 13:39

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. The children will benefit from a nice family holiday.

Bonkerz · 07/01/2020 13:41

Memories are priceless. I wouldn't have any problem doing this

CatteStreet · 07/01/2020 13:45

People keep talking about memories - I wonder if they are defining 'toddlers' differently from me, or whether there are a lot of MNers with unusually coherent early memories? Mine remember very specific snapshot-type things (what make of hire car we had that time in Devon, that sort of thing) perhaps from about 3, but a coherent memory of a whole experience came later, quite a bit later tbh.

As for 'family time', that can be had at home. I love having a few (rare9 days at home when no-one has commitments. And it can especially be had at home at this sort of age, when a walk to the duck pond is an adventure.

Lailaha · 07/01/2020 13:47

Yep, both "selfish and indulgent", particularly as you say it's you who wants to get away from things and you have another holiday booked anyway.

Don't lower yourself to steal from your children Hmm

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 13:48

My family doesn’t give money for Christmas, but yes I believe the OP is entitled to spend their Christmas money on a treat for them, which a holiday is

I'd agree. But she's spending the bulk of it on a holiday for herself. It's not like she's paying her own way here. And let's be totally honest, toddlers will just be as happy with a few days at the park, a panto and soft play.

Enhancing a toddlers lifestyle by taking them to a five star cottage in the Cotswolds. I've heard it all now. 🤣🤣🤣

LikeGlitterandGold · 07/01/2020 13:50

Go Op and have a wonderful time with your family. Have lots of fun with your DC and take loads of pics. You are creating lovely memories for your DC.

Lailaha · 07/01/2020 13:53

"Creating lovely memories" but no doubt having a whinge on here when it comes to university living fees...

MN is really a centre of priceless entitlement sometimes - using your children's savings for another holiday for mum and dad. I really have heard it all now Grin

ConstanceL · 07/01/2020 13:56

I don't see a problem with this - better than using it to spend on stuff they don't need. Family memories are priceless, and as you say they have plenty of people saving on their behalf.

Original poster
Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 14:06

I don't think the "5* cottage" bit was of much relevance really- just to emphasise that it is a great deal and the cottage has lots of space,.gardens etc for them.to run around in. We have lots of DIY jobs to do.at home so DH and I get sucked in to doing jobs unfortunately when we have time pff so going away forces us to concentrate on the kids. They are 4 and 2 btw.

I think if we didnt already pay towards their future and if they didn't have new coats and shoes and rooms full of toys and equipment then I would consider otherwise. But it just seems crazy to jave money sitting around in moneyboxes waiting to be banked for the future when we could be using it towards quality, special family time in our favourite destination. I see other points of view though. It's very difficult to weigh up.

OP posts:
whatdoyouthinkyouknow · 07/01/2020 14:08

It's their money, given to them. Put it in a long term junior ISA.

I know you might think they will benefit now but that's for their future and not yours to spend.

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