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Original poster

To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

365 replies

Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 09:53

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

OP posts:
stormy11 · 07/01/2020 10:37

If you not planning on paying you DC back then it is a very selfish thing to do. They shouldn't be paying for your holidays.

Equanimitas · 07/01/2020 10:37

Would this cottage be that great in February, and would there be that much to do outside at that time of year? Last time I went away in February in the UK it was bloody cold and varied between sleet and snow. As PP have said, there's a very good reason why holiday cottages are cheap at that time of year.

If you can't afford to pay for the cottage, how will you afford to pay for travel, entry to amusements etc etc?

heartsonacake · 07/01/2020 10:38

No, you would be really cheeky and very selfish to do this. It’s all about you and what you want no matter how you try to dress it up.

That money is not yours to touch. It should go straight into their bank accounts.

Original poster
Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 10:39

We already set money aside to cover half term activities, so the money for holiday 'extras' is there regardless.

It is literally accommodation money that we haven't budgeted for.

OP posts:
Equanimitas · 07/01/2020 10:40

I think this would only be acceptable if you paid the money back at the earliest opportunity. You can't claim that they are already saving "enough" unless they are literally saving thousands of pounds a year - just look at the current level of university fees and the sort of deposit you have to put down if you're buying a house.

Mumshappy · 07/01/2020 10:43

If you've money set aside for other things and other savings for them then why do you need the £300.00?

Teensruletheroost · 07/01/2020 10:43

I don’t think it’s on. The money should be directly for them not for a family holiday.

Equanimitas · 07/01/2020 10:45

If I gave money to a child relative, I'd be bloody annoyed to discover the parents had used it for a family holiday. If I wanted to contribute to that I would have given the money to the parents.

84claire84 · 07/01/2020 10:47

No it's not your money

crustycrab · 07/01/2020 10:48

You're going to do it anyway despite the fact you could afford to pay for it yourself Hmm

Charles11 · 07/01/2020 10:48

Why don’t you just not pay the £100 a month to them for 3 months then go on holiday with that.

Cohle · 07/01/2020 10:49

Jesus Christ, I think that would be an absolutely appalling thing to do.

If a family member took money I had given to the kids and spent it on a family holiday I would be furious.

This trip is far more for your benefit than the kids. What's next? Using their cash for a massage because the kids will benefit from you being relaxed? Your moral compass is seriously skewed.

Somebodystired · 07/01/2020 10:51

Why don’t you just not pay the £100 a month to them for 3 months then go on holiday with that.

This would be the most logical thing to do!

villamariavintrapp · 07/01/2020 10:52

Well if you've set aside the money for activities etc regardless then why not use that money for the accommodation, and the kids' money for the activities? Since experiences seem more gifty..? Sorted!

HoneyBee03 · 07/01/2020 10:58

I would do this OP, but would check with the people who gave them the money that they're happy for it being spent that way.

We're constantly skint and never go on holiday, so my family would be pleased that DS could go away somewhere using the money they'd given him.

HoneyBee03 · 07/01/2020 10:59

...if you could afford the holiday yourselves though, then I don't think it would be very fair.

olivehater · 07/01/2020 11:05

A holiday is a treat for them. You are spending quality time together. I don’t see the problem. It’s no different than using the money for experiences instead of plastic tatt. You already save money for them. See it as you are not saving for them for the next couple of months if you prefer and that money can cover the cost of the savings direct debits leaving you more money left over to cover the cost of the cottage.

happycamper11 · 07/01/2020 11:05

I would use it for a family holiday, absolutely. But then I've had to borrow DC's Xmas money just to buy food these holidays. I've no idea when I can pay it back. They are a little older and would happily offer it if it meant a holiday - they adore going away. Don't see how it's any different to buying a toy they will play with for a short time or clothes they will grow out of

CatteStreet · 07/01/2020 11:06

Toddlers really, really don't care about holidays and cottages. I think you were assuming you'd get a volley of 'sure, go for it, happy mummy, happy kids', but doing this really, really wouldn't be on. If you want the holiday so badly, stop their savings for three months and 'pay' for it that way. You'll still be taking money from your children, but at least it'll be yours and not someone else's.

olivehater · 07/01/2020 11:06

We stop out kids savings when things get a bit tight and start them up again when we aren’t.

Sparkletastic · 07/01/2020 11:07

Use your own money not the DCs' gift money. If that means you can't afford to pay into their savings for 3 months then you and your DH need to judge whether a week in a naice cottage is worth it.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 11:14

If the relatives intended the money for a treat, why not a family holiday instead of toys they don’t need?

It doesn't need to be toys. And the kids weren't given money as a treat for the family. It was for the children, plundering their money is no different to sifting through an elderly relatives purse without them knowing, to pay for your holiday, when they have no clue where they are, nor will they remember it, and would just be as happy at home.

These are toddlers. They will be just as happy at the park or soft play. A five star cottage in the Cotswolds is purely and utterly for the ops benefit.

Cohle · 07/01/2020 11:17

You can't steal from your kids to fund a holiday you can't afford.

Bartlet · 07/01/2020 11:23

Don’t see the problem. You are spending it on the DCs. You are giving them a lovely holiday. If you and your OH were using the money to go away yourselves then that would be a different matter.

Ignore all the pofaced posters trying to make you feel guilty for not putting it in a savings account. Unless the people who gave it insisted that it be saved then you are entitled to spend it on whatever you think would benefit the DCs

Notso · 07/01/2020 11:23

It sounds like you've already made your mind up.
It also sounds like you probably could find the money yourselves if you wanted, you're not coming across as hard up if you can save £200 a month for your children, have a holiday two years on the run, put money aside for activities in half term and your children already have everything else they possibly need.