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Original poster

To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

365 replies

Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 09:53

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

OP posts:
Mumofone1593 · 07/01/2020 14:11

As soon as I receive money (cash) for my son I transfer my own money into his bank account and keep the cash.

I do this so that if I take something out of his bank then I am accountable. It is so easy to say 'this holiday will benefit my child'. The proof is, would you take it out of his bank account or is it easier because the cash is in your hands?

I can't afford a holiday this year, my son has enough for a holiday in his bank but I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing when my son is older he could ask where the £100s went from his account and having to explain that I wanted a holiday/ 5 star cottage for the family that year but used his money as I didn't have enough.

I honestly understand how you feel as I work minimum wage at the moment in complaints and am screamed at all night so I can keep my son in nappies/clothes and fed and happy. I am so drained BUT I can't use it as a excuse to spend his money to get away from my reality.

pollyputthepastaon · 07/01/2020 14:11

Yes I would. I’d rather buy them a week of great experiences and enjoyment then more plastic tat.

Equanimitas · 07/01/2020 14:13

The money was intended for a treat

... for the children. I doubt that a 4 year old and a 2 year old regard it as a massive treat to be dragged off to a 5 star cottage in the middle of winter.

Grandmi · 07/01/2020 14:15

Agree with lailaha....so what happens when they are older and a school trip is on offer and you cannot afford it? Will you remember the £300 you ‘borrowed ‘ when they were toddler?!!

Isadora2007 · 07/01/2020 14:17

Go!! Life is too short and experiences are great. My children have never asked about money they got as kids- pretty sure my ex used money from birth congrats cards to pay for his lunches back then! 😂

INeedNewShoes · 07/01/2020 14:17

If you’re giving them each £100 per month then use that money for the cottage and pay the £300 into their savings accounts.

I actually do believe that holidays are of huge benefit to young children as it takes mum and dad away from the never ending to do list at home and frees them up to spend really good quality time with the children.

I can’t say that I see going on holiday with a 4 and 2 year old as a selfish act as actually it requires quite a lot of effort preparing for a holiday with young children and then entertaining them once you’re there.

LilQueenie · 07/01/2020 14:18

yabu unreasonable it not your money. its essentially taking from children. The last person I know caught doing this was cut off.

Blueopal15 · 07/01/2020 14:23

both my kids have money saved from various birthdays and Christmas’s ... money is very tight for me after Christmas - I wouldn’t dream of touching their money ... we have been doing free/ cheap activities with the last week of the school holidays . Borrowing £20 and putting it back next time I go to the cash point is completely different though!

Drum2018 · 07/01/2020 14:24

Wow, I'm surprised at the amount of posters who wouldn't use it. Kids are toddlers, they won't know. It's hardly a life changing amount of money so you're not doing them out of thousands. Of course I'd use it towards a holiday that they are going on. As they get older and realise the value of money being given to them you won't even think of doing this as they wouldn't let you anyway, but for now while they are small I'd use it.

Peoplearemiserable · 07/01/2020 14:28

If I’d gifted money to children and heard that the parents were using it to go on a holiday they can’t afford I’d be annoyed and I would stop giving them money. Just put it in their savings account out the way of temptation.

Gazelda · 07/01/2020 14:29

Would you be happy to write thank you cards, thanking the money givers for the opportunity to go on holiday by using the money. I personally wouldn't use for a holiday.

Great point fluffyjumper.

OP, would you feel differently if your DC were 12 and 14?

I think that, at a push, it would be ok if you were planning to put the money back in their account when you have it saved up. But to just take it is wrong in my opinion.

Your post strongly suggests that it's you who wants an extra holiday. The children will have just as much fun with it at home as they would at the 5* cottage. Their £300 is being spent for your benefit. Not theirs. Ok if you reimburse them. Not ok if you don't.

NoSquirrels · 07/01/2020 14:36

Save less towards their nebulous ‘future’ then, and use the difference towards ‘now’. It’s the same principle as spending not banking this £300, the difference is that it’s your money (not someone else’s) paying for your priorities.

To be honest, if things were so tight I couldn’t cash-flow £300 myself on a credit card over a month or so I would not be saving £100 a month regularly.

As a teen we contributed (with full knowledge and discussion) to ski trip costs with school. That would have been saved birthday money etc. but used years later with our knowledge on a trip my parents weren’t also going on.

Somehow what you are proposing seems fundamentally very different.

Cohle · 07/01/2020 14:54

Kids are toddlers, they won't know.

Why does it matter that they won't know? If what you're doing is morally ok then why would you be unwilling for your children to know it's what you're doing?

It's theft from your own kids and you're relying on your victims being too young to realise it's happened.

chocatoo · 07/01/2020 15:00

Yes of course you should use it. They will have a great time. It’s not stealing (that’s ridiculous) – it’s just moving money around in different buckets. If you have the ridiculous notion that you’re 'stealing' it simply use 'their money' for something else that you would otherwise buy for them using 'your' money, e.g. swimming lessons, books, toys, whatever. People give the money for it to be used, either for material gifts or for fun days out (/happy holidays).

AltheaVestr1t · 07/01/2020 15:01

I honestly don’t see what the problem is with spending this money on a treat that will benefit the children. Family time, holidays and travel are really great for everyone’s wellbeing and the holiday will enrich their life experience. I would 100% do this without a second thought.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 15:01

Kids are toddlers, they won't know

Well that's ok then, if they won't know. Why didn't we all think of that? Doh!

Excuse me Whilst I just pop out and rob my elderly relative with dementia because she won't know either, I need a new garden bench and she'll benefit from being able to sit on it and see it every now and again,,,not that she will remember or care. Wonder who else I can rob from, since it's ok if they don't know.

sansou · 07/01/2020 15:04

You don't make sense OP. If you can really afford to save £200 on your DCs' behalf, why on earth are you in the position where you don't have a spare £300 and are tempted to use their money? It's completely illogical.

AltheaVestr1t · 07/01/2020 15:04

Completely agree with @chocatoo about family buckets, and if someone needs to access their children’s savings for family expenses etc, I think that’s no big deal. Just because the money doesn’t go into a savings account or get spent on plastic tat doesn’t mean that it isn’t being spent on the children in other ways.

Betterversionofme · 07/01/2020 15:05

I just wouldn't go however amazing deal it would be.
If I can't pay £300 (without a credit card or overdraft or borrowing children's money) then it means I am in a precarious financial situation. I just wouldn't spend money that way.

Thestrangestthing · 07/01/2020 15:07

I would. Its £300, so £150 each, not going to make a hug difference to them in the grand scheme and I'm sure you could replace it over the next 15 years, if you are saving up for their future. It's 300 quid, not 30 grand 😂

Thestrangestthing · 07/01/2020 15:10

You don't make sense OP. If you can really afford to save £200 on your DCs' behalf, why on earth are you in the position where you don't have a spare £300 and are tempted to use their money? It's completely illogical.

Eh? We are oy 2 weeks after Christmas. January is a difficult time for some people financially. Maybe the OP can afford to save up a bit at a time to replace the money, but doesn't have it to hand right at this minute to take advantage of this deal. Surely its not that difficult to work out? Hmm

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 15:10

Seems the world is split into two camps.

Those that will eye up the kids Xmas money and steal it to treat themselves, under the guise of well the kids come too. And those who would not dream of taking their kids money and paying for themselves to have a holiday from it.

Wasn't there some form of legal case, McCauley kaulkins parents, or someone, robbed him blind as a kid, bought houses etc arguing it would benefit him and it was deemed illegal? That they stole?

Different financial scale but boils down to the same thing.

flowery · 07/01/2020 15:11

”I just want...”

Exactly.

If you were spending it on a day trip to Legoland or Thomasland or similar hideousness-loved-by-kids then fine. But this is predominantly for you.

May2020 · 07/01/2020 15:12

Cringe

Thestrangestthing · 07/01/2020 15:17

God some people on MN are over reactors!