To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

[Ooooophhh]

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

Are you going to come back and let us know the response from the family who gifted the money to your children? Seeing as you felt it was a good idea. Actually, you’ve probably contacted them already, surely?

Go right ahead.
There is another thread about not forcing a child to put 250euro in his bank but to use it instead.
Family time will mean much more to your children right now.
People are so mean.

Use it to pay for the holiday now and pay it back when you have the money.

I have always given a friends kids money, the money was always saved or used for them, clothes, toys, books, experience days etc. At one point they had to borrow from the kids savings accounts, just to live. They were on the bones of their arse. But both those kids got that money back, with interest, and the parents were very open about it.

If they'd phoned me up and said, I would like to use the money for a five star cottage in the Cotswolds. I think the toddlers will love it. I'd say sure, but I'd be thinking what a grabby, thieving so and so, and I'd absolutely not give money again. Ever. Until the kids were old enough that their parents couldn't steal it and spend it on themselves.

People who say they don't need anything...then OP can save it for them until they DO. When they're a bit older, they will have interests. Singing lessons, horseriding...skateboard...whatever. This can be for that.

The money was intended for a treat.

The holiday is a treat, so use it.

And for what it's worth my DC are adults now and honestly couldn't recall stuff they had as children, but do have clear and vivid memories of all the holidays and day trips we had.

Get a second job. You don't 'take' other people's money. Not your neighbour's, not your children's. If you had no money for food fair enough, but posting here suggest you just want validation well knowing it is not right.

Bluntness how the hell can young children have a treat without involving adults ?

Would a trip to the zoo be ok ?? How would that work ? Some people really are odd........the money was intended for a treat. A holiday is a treat, it's to a place the DC like. They'll give other experiences whilst they're there. They are also 'treats'.

So it's fine to use that money as its intended.

It's a slippery slope. My DM used to take our money for things that "benefited the family" when I went to college, I had to fund myself, never saw the money and equated it to stealing. My SIL does the same so now we will give presents or vouchers to keep her paws off it. If you were in dire straights with a boiler breakdown or no food or can't pay electricity bill well obviously that would be very different. In this instance, you fancy a 5 star break and have convinced yourselves that toddlers care about that when in reality they would prefer to be at home playing games.

No, its not your money. A ridiculous amout to give toddlers as well

Think you're getting a really hard time OP. The children WILL benefit from spending family time together. Experiences are what make memories and that's what I try to gift people.

While I know you haven't said you would repay it, you put a large amount away for them monthly and they clearly don't want for anything if you have already budgeted for activities/holiday while continue to pay into their savings account.

I would understand the backlash if you were going away without them but not this.

I'm sure everyone else's children will rejoice in their childhood tales of the fun they had knowing there was a few hundred pounds sitting in a bank for years to come, whilst your poor children will only have memories of fun family holidays.

Hope you all have a great time!

thing is.. the kids wont reeaaally benefit will they ? they are toddlers, they wont even remember the holiday when they are older.

Do you really think a toddler is going to be sat in a cottage going ohh this is niiiice yes i like this, much better than having money in the future when i need to learn to drive, get a house, have a kid, get married, have bills , need university money etc

if i gave money to kids for xmas or bdays i would expect it to go into a bank or on something they have asked for.

Would you be happy to write thank you cards, thanking the money givers for the opportunity to go on holiday by using the money. I personally wouldn't use for a holiday.

How would the gift givers even know you were spending the gifted money? Personally I wouldn't be that bothered..

However I do think you must be unsure whether this is the right thing to do, otherwise you wouldn't have posted about it..

If you want your toddlers to enjoy their money on experiences, why not use the mkney to take them to Butlins for tots week?
Might not be your cup of tea, but they would certainly enjoy it.

They already (presumably) get quality family time, so a posh cottage will be of no interest to them.

Fence sitting.

I’m not against you spending the kids money on stuff you would otherwise bankroll - nice new coat , flashing wellies rather than basic Asda ones , a special day out etc, new shoes etc etc and by suck means freeing up some cash of your own to pay for the holiday

UNLESS the intention of the giver was to build up a nest egg.

BTW if I’d given it without strings I’d be quite happy for the kids to have a nice family break with it. I don’t have grand kids yet but I gift my adult kids money and the idea is they use it for special things or experiences. The only “ constraint “ I put on it is don’t pay ordinary bills with it - but that’s because if they were struggling with ordinary bills I’d hope they’d discuss it with me and I’d could loan them the money if needed and help them work out why / how to sort it

I'm shocked at those that say it's not okay. If the parent is responsible for all the needs and decisions regarding their child, then surely they can decide how to spend their money. I personally spend a lot more on my kids, making sacrifices to give them lovely experiences so, spending their Christmas money on a family holiday is well okay in my opinion.

Mumcreates If you're of that opinion, can you tell me when you think the parent loses the "right" to decide how to spend their child's money?

At what age?

as a grandmother with 2DGC whose birthdays are in January I give a sum of money to my DS & DIL to pay for/towards a break with the children. In the past I have taken them myself but last year they used it for Legoland. It meant that they stayed over rather than trying to cram it all into a day.

It is not your money. Yes, the children would enjoy the holiday, but they would equally enjoy a week's worth of family time at home. Toddlers are great like that. Easily pleased. They don't need a posh cottage or an escape.

There will come a point in their lives, most likely when they want to go to university, when they will need money. You will have to traverse their teen years when they want to get hold of the money to spend on stupid things - but if they do manage to keep some for uni, it will help a lot. £150 (which is I assume what they have each) would allow them to eat for more than an entire month.

Holidays are not essential. I can't afford to go on holiday, and I would never use money out of DSS's bank account. He's 16, and would fully object if I wanted £300 to spend on a holiday (even if he was coming), so what makes you think that it's okay because they're toddlers and just don't know any better?

'Homemade soup'? How have you gone from 'a week of doing nothing' to 'homemade soup'?

If you don't have the funds to pay for a holiday, how will you pay for activities, days out while you're there? Getting there and back?

Save the money you normally save for the DC each month and use that instead. Toddlers don't give a shiny shit if a cottage is 5 or not. This is about you*, not them.

My son got £20 from a great aunt at Christmas and we spent it on a curry.

Oha!!!! Phons SS now quick quick quick!!!

We've done the same grannycake. Poor, deprived children of mine staying in the Alton towers hotel and going in pool and on the crazy golf instead of having to leave early and stay in a Travelodge like we usually do. We even ate in the restaurant instead of the dodgy places in the theme park.

Alton towers fwiw is my idea of the seventh circle of hell. But the kids like it so. 💁🏻‍♀️

Bit of a scummy thing to do in my opinion, and as for the person above who used their kids Christmas money to buy a takeaway - you sound vile

I personally spend a lot more on my kids, making sacrifices to give them lovely experiences so, spending their Christmas money on a family holiday is well okay in my opinion.

Ditto. Almost everything I earn is spent on my kids, not me. I am sure the OP is the same. They already save for their kids. This money was in lieu of a present/treat.

I also disagree that toddlers don’t care about going on holiday and spending time with their family. I have happy holiday memories from very early on, in places where we went for walks and to pubs, which my parents enjoyed but I did too.

But then I also did not at any age put my Christmas money in a bank account for university/my wedding/my driving lessons! That money came from savings from my parents’ salary.

Clearly I am in a minority though.