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Original poster

Anyone knowledgeable about benefit fraud rules re living together?

100 replies

HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 14:51

Or not as the case may be.

I received a call today as someone has reported me for benefit fraud.
I live with my 3 children and work part time, In receipt of universal credit (including housing element) and child benefit. This has been the case for the past 3 years.

Started a new relationship 2 years ago.
A year into the relationship, As I'd read various info on mumsnet and various other online sources about rules regarding having partners stay over I thought the best thing to do was call DWP and see exactly what the rules were.

The information I got was he could stay as many nights as I saw fit as long as we were not financially linked to one another.
I explained that he was here quite a lot (3-6 nights per week depending on how I was doing health-wise)
They told me this was fine and just to log the call on my UC journal online, Which I did.

We have continued as we are for the year since, I pay all my own bills and he pays his, He does not contribute financially to my home or upkeep of my children. He has his own rented property and is on the mortgage of his family home.

If we go on holiday, I pay for me and the kids, He pays for himself.

We do plan on moving in together eventually, But it's a huge decision and not something I want to rush.

Chatted about all of this with the lady from the DWP fraud team and whilst she says she is happy to close the case, If I had another complaint/report they may well investigate me for benefit fraud.

I was quite upset at this as I had taken steps to make sure everything I was doing was legit and above board and asked what I should change.
She said I should just be aware of how things 'looked' to others. It was all very strange and I felt I couldn't get any concrete answers to my questions.

I explained that I was in no way financially benefiting in my situation as I still pay all of my bills, Council Tax etc....If he even picks me up so much as a loaf of bread I bank transfer him the money with 'bread' as the reference so that I can prove I don't take a penny from him.

I feel now that I am being pressured to move in together before I am absolutely ready, As even if he stays less nights it would make no difference to my finances and possible fraud investigation if there were to be another complaint.

I'm not sure where to go from here.

Has anyone ever been through something similar?
Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Oneminuteandthenallgone · 05/06/2019 15:00

Does he maintain his own home somewhere else? Where does h relief when not with you?

ACurlyWurly · 05/06/2019 15:01

I would imagine that as long as your income and outgoings are matching what you say and his are covering just his outgoings then any investigation will show there is no financial benefit.

However, whoever is reporting you obviously thinks you are playing the system as many people have done in the past and feel they are doing the right thing.

Keep records up to date, be able to show how you are supporting yourself, saving for luxuries and paying your own way and not benefiting and although unpleasant there will be no case against you if investigated.

No one is pressuring you to live together but they are right to investigate these things even if it is a misunderstanding as in some cases fraud is happening.

I have been in a similar place but without being investigated and I checked with all benefits agencies at the time and they were clear that I couldn't benefit financially and as long as this was evident should I be investigated then there would be no case

StrippingTheVelvet · 05/06/2019 15:03

Well it depends on if he's staying 2 or 6 nights on average as that's a massive difference...

Lllot5 · 05/06/2019 15:05

Sounds like someone has reported you to me. Just make sure you have a paper trail the way you are doing, and so does he. He must have proof he’s paying rent / bills somewhere else? Keep hold of all these too.

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:07

I understand they have to investigate, Of course. But my problem is no-one can tell me what is 'okay/legal' or 'not okay/legal'.....just to be careful of how things 'look'

If he doesn't stay here, He stays in his rented accommodation (which is very close by) Or in his family home to help his folks with repairs etc (he pays their mortgage)

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:09

Oh someone definitely reported me, The lady actually told me that herself.
It will have been ex-husband or his Mother as the lady had information that I only told ex-mil.

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 05/06/2019 15:12

So a malicious report then, not someone who was genuinely concerned.
In that case I’d be very careful maybe cut down the nights he stays there to a couple a week.
Definitely make sure not only can you prove he doesn’t live there but also that he lives somewhere else.

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:12

Yes he pays all his bills standing order/direct debits etc.
I explained all this to the lady and she just kept repeating that it was more about how things looked.

So if there is an investigation in the future, I can certainly prove we keep separate finances, I just don't know if that will be enough if it's more about perception than fact.

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 05/06/2019 15:14

So it ‘looks’ like he lives there to outsiders? Cut the visits right back.

SilverySurfer · 05/06/2019 15:16

Are you saying he stays with you up to six nights a week and makes no financial contribution at all?

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 05/06/2019 15:17

It's been a while (I used to work for Social Security and then the DWP before moving into Housing) but they used to take these into account:

living in the same household
stability of relationship
financial support
dependent children
public acknowledgement

From what you say, you definitely tick 2 boxes (stability/public acknowledgement) and an argument could be made for living in the same household if he is there up to 6 days a week. Although with him having his own accommodation, no shared financials etc, I'd probably do what the lady you spoke to did and close the case, however I'm essentially a hippy who didn't exactly fit in at the DWP (walked out over a drive to get single mums of sub 5s into work over everyone else).

It's a bit of a grey area which is why she wouldn't give you a check list of what is okay/what isn't. If you couldn't work for whatever reason, would he help you financially then? Even stuff like that can be considered.

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:18

I totally get where you are coming from @Lllot5 and if it is a choice between rushing to move in together and only seeing each other twice a week then I reckon I'll choose the latter.
It's absolute shite though, Because I'm a single mother claiming benefits I don't have the right to pursue a relationship at my own natural pace.

I would completely understand if I were claiming as well as having another wage supporting my household, But I don't and never would.

OP posts:
Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 05/06/2019 15:20

Even if it escalated to further investigation they will only confirm what you have already told them! My ex reported me and I had someone to the house. He had said I was living beyond my means as I had a flash car and new jewelry. My dm bought the car which I could prove. And my Pandora bracelet was a clubbed together 40 th present!! Enjoy your relationship as it is op. You have been transparent and can continue to prove so..

ScottishDoll · 05/06/2019 15:21

Surely as long as you both pay council tax at different addresses that proves you don't live together.

You're allowed a life OP despite what your spiteful exmil thinks!

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:23

@SilverySurfer That's right, At my insistence.
As that is the advice I got from DWP, I'm not going to let anyone say...''well he brings you bread and milk most days so he is financially contributing to your household'' Which would be correct really, Wouldn't it?
So I make sure I pay him for anything I ask him to get from the shop for me.

OP posts:
cherrryontop · 05/06/2019 15:25

I wouldn't limit his visits or overnight stays.

Fuck it!

If you have nothing to hide and have entirely separate finances then it's no business or anybody's.

I wouldn't care how things look, busy bodies can find someone else to pick at.

Pringlemunchers · 05/06/2019 15:26

But you are practically living together, what part of the relationship would you be rushing to make from six nights to seven ?

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:27

He actually only pays council tax at his family home, In the accommodation he rents it is a set amount that includes council tax, electricity etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:31

@Pringlemunchers Because we would be amalgamating our finances, I only work part-time, He is a high earner.
I was seriously financially abused in my marriage and I am wary in the extreme.

We have discussed what we would do with our finances in the future and he suggests we get a joint account, Both wages in, bills out, equal amount of spending money per month and the rest goes into savings.
Which I am happy about in general, But it is still a huge decision.

OP posts:
Pringlemunchers · 05/06/2019 15:34

Does he give you anything for his upkeep when he is with you ? Or do you sub all food costs etc?

Original poster
HoneycombAndAJackass · 05/06/2019 15:38

I buy everything and pay everything.

OP posts:
Pringlemunchers · 05/06/2019 15:39

Oww can I be honest ? I am worried for you. I think he is taking advantage.

Lllot5 · 05/06/2019 15:40

Maybe that’s what people are finding hard to believe. You say he’s an high earner but he stays at yours sometimes as many as six nights a week but he doesn’t put his hand in his pocket once.

Pringlemunchers · 05/06/2019 15:41

He is on a bloody good wage and he puts nothing toward his food etc whilst staying up to SIX nights a week.

Pringlemunchers · 05/06/2019 15:43

I have read threads so many times on here , with similar situations. The woman is always ,always disadvantaged , whilst the guy is sitting back ,with HIGH salary, saying that it is not a fair relationship