Drowning in debt? Don't know how to get out? You are not alone. Come and share and find a way through ....

[Talkinpeece]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Zoflora
The communication is DESIGNED to be poor.
I have a tax client where the numbrs are in the £10,000 range
and HMRC crumble the MOMENT you haul them into "evidence" land
Be psycho
they asked for one month
they can wait two months for three - at full UC
and get your MP involved MPs love non Brexittopics

For one of my clients I just copied my MP into the correspondence.
HMRC are shitting themselves

I do have to agree about the MP. The CMS were being as incompetent as humanly possible sorting out a DOE on my ex’s salary, one email to my MP later and it’s sorted!

@talkinpeece I was back in court yesterday, it looks like this can potentially be sorted in one more court session so a £10k may not be necessary

Which is good as my score has just gone down 41 points into the fair range

I didn’t have a chance to get back onto CC1 about reinstating my original credit card limit. At least there’s more room for me to throw money at them now though! All the Christmas money I am gifted will go straight onto them

Bishalisha
That is good news about the court.

I admit I'm not a fan of looking at credit scores as every lender does their own thing and ignores them.
I have absolutely no idea what mine is.

@talkinpeece that’s fair enough! Luckily I looked on Experian and as I anticipate I may need to borrow £5k max and pay it off over 3 years I’m pre approved for a few much more favourable loans anyway! I’m not too worried as I know it’s a short term blip regardless

I got in this situation a few years ago
Ended up sighing up with payplan they sorted it all out looked at my budget and set a payment I could afford and I just payed them a fixed amount and they paid the creditor they got the interest frozen so the debt didn’t keep going up and all creditors then only contact them and not you. Was on the plan for about 5years until I inherited some money and they then arranged a repayment figure which was lower than the total debt and now I am debt free!

My credit score is crap and will be for a few more years but trust me I don’t want credit any more.

@7kids
stop spamming threads with that site.

Sorry - just trying to help - am a bit peed off with inappropriate lending and what it does to people

How did everyone enjoy Christmas. Ours was nice if slightly tainted by the stress. We had a lovely Christmas day with my side and boxing day with DHs side. And we should end the month with over £100 in the bank which is progress.
DHs payslip is in too and all the overtime has been worth it he's gotten over £800 in overtime I'm using a chunk of it to pay off the money he took from the kids and the rest is going to save up to offer a settlement fee to the smallest debt February he should get a little less but has still working quite few extra shifts so we should be able to offer something for the smallest debt by February.
I'm trying to go until payday without shopping I bought some freezer stuff and Uht milk before we went away so I don't have to drag the kids around the shops as we got back late last night and DH working 12 hour days and I hate dragging them round Aldi! Feeling a bit rubbish that they want fruit and I don't have any in but have plenty of frozen veg so it's not like they're just eating rubbish none stop next time I'll have to remember to get some tins of fruit bags of frozen but live and learn u guess.

Hi there Onescaredmuma
Well done on keeping the focus going right through Christmas.
Its tough but the feeling of success afterwards is worth it.
Kids and fruit - would they settle for raisins?
Alternatively there are some really good deals on loose oranges or satsumas at the moment
and ugly apples are often a good deal - avoid the sweet ones like royal gala - go for hard braeburn types that take longer to eat

We ended up getting a big pack of raisins in the corner shop they cost £1.99!! I got them some fresh juice as well to give them a vitiman c boost. The corner shop is expensive but still less than I'd spend if I went to the shop as I'd end up doing a full shop.I'm planning on using the money I have left at the end of this month to get as many presents for next year as possible it was a life saver this year that I only had the kids to buy for! I'd even done their santa stockings as they like Bath stuff.
My family are all very generous with us at Christmas DHs too so we can't just not do presents and with ours being the only children in either family we can't suggest just buying for the kids so I tend to get everyone a nice bath set in January when they go to 1/2 price.
I'm planning a big shop on payday and spending my full £100 budget as we're running low in everything I've been managing on £30-£50 a week but it's been tight for 5 of us. I was planning on buying my eldest and youngest new clothes in the January sales as they were both desperate for warm clothes (middle has plenty of hand me downs from Dd1) but they both got a few outfits for Christmas so that's something I don't have to spend on.

Onescared
My family are all very generous with us at Christmas DHs too so we can't just not do presents and with ours being the only children in either family we can't suggest just buying for the kids
Yes and no.
You should ONLY buy what you can afford.
If others are richer they will spend more. They should not judge you for choosing well within your means.
My sister is MUCH richer than me. We each spend on the other a similar proportion of our disposable income. It works.

All DHs family are broke but save with a savings scheme for Christmas I prefer to just buy in sales throughout the year( or January when possible) then they get a nice present but at a fraction of the cost! One year I got all the mens presents 90% off in boots I spent £5.90 on about 8 presents!! DHs parents are also on a DMP and this is their second I love them all but I think his whole family have a very unhealthy relationship with money. What makes me really cross with DH was he used to really slate them all for being stupid with money turns out he was the worst of all of them!
I'm getting more interested in the idea of teaching now my dds headmistress has said she'll look at letting me get some classroom experience in the new year I'm also going to apply with more local schools to volunteer so when it comes to applying for the training course I stand a better chance of getting on the salaried course. So at least I feel like I'm moving forward to eventually getting back into work.

DHs family are broke but save with a savings scheme for Christmas
Cute but barking.
They should just scale back Christmas to what they can truly afford.

I'm getting more interested in the idea of teaching now my dds headmistress has said she'll look at letting me get some classroom experience in the new year I'm also going to apply with more local schools to volunteer
good call
Teaching can be a beggar of a career, but being term time based its great for juggling child care.

Onwards and upwards

That's what I'm hoping it gives me the most freedom if in the end DH can't control his spending I need to be able to walk away and most careers would make that almost impossible for me without relying heavily on my parents for help financially (they don't live close enough to rely on physical help from them but have both made it clear they will help support me and the kids if I left DH) and I really can't live like that I hate doing it as a SAHM but at the moment don't have alot of options DH can earn more in 2 overtime shifts than I can earn in a month.

Payday!!!! I got up and went straight to aldi they had loads of fresh veg in the super 6 so I've done really well and gotten snacks nice drinks for me and the kids and some for DH to take to work tonight as he's working nights tonight would have been nice if we could see in the new year together as a kind blank slate. But I'll settle for dancing with kids to YouTube music videos and cuddling up watching a film in my bed.
I had wanted to get a turkey crown and do the big new year dinner but they only had medium ones for £10! So I settled for a large chicken for £3.99 which will be plenty for us. I still managed to only spend £80 on aldi and Tesco (few bits I can't get in aldi like Reduced salt products for DS)
I'm hoping that 2019 brings happier times for us as a family I'm looking forward to seeing the back of 2018 tonight!
Happy new year to everyone hopefully everyone struggling with debt this has a better year in 2019.

Onescaredmumma
Sounds like you shopped mindfully and well. Excellent.
Tough that your DH is working
BUT
Send him a text at midnight and tell him that 2019 is the year you will both turn things around
and enjoy cheesy music and dancing.

That's a lovely idea I might just do that. He got up (nights last night too) and watched the kids this morning so I didn't have to drag all 3 of them round aldi which makes shopping so much easier and stress free. For some reason whenever I take the kids I spend twice as much and come out with nothing .

Mrsr8
Ah, Brexit. Yup. I'm not going to discuss it on here.
Pop over to the Westminsterenders Threads on the Brexit boards as they are a mine of information and ideas on that topic.

And I am so pleased and chuffed for you that debt management has become a positive way of life for you.

I know. And I know that there is so little we can do that focusing on debt management is quite enough for many

I was actually looking into stocking up my garage with food for brexit when I found out about the debt I have no idea what I'm going to do now I'm putting our Christmas money aside which is nearly £200 but I'm quite concerned about the whole thing to be honest. Maybe if I just add a few extra tins of food to the shop each week it will make enough of a difference.