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Original poster

Grandchild not included in will

245 replies

RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 08:33

Hi everyone, I'll try and keep it brief. The inlaws' will was written in 2006, my daughter was born in 2008. When the father-in-law passed away in 2007, she did not receive any inheritance which seems fair enough.
However her grandmother has recently passed away when she was aged 9 and she is still not included on the will, so the Executors (the three siblings, one of which is my husband) have still not thought to allocate any money to her along with the 6 other grandchildren.

What are my options here? I know a Deed of Variation is possible if all beneficiaries agree to her being included. Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. For what it's worth, my husband didn't think she should get anything because she wasn't in the will - he's very black and white about things which makes it difficult to speak to him about it. He also doesn't have a great relationship with his brother and won't want to rock the boat by mentioning this situation.

However World War 3 has kicked off at home so he's now open to reconsidering this. It's his brother that is the Mastermind of the three siblings so I feel it's worth bypassing my husband and going directly to his brother but I feel it would be better done via a solicitor.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 10:30

@tempester28 Yes I'll suggest he leaves her the same sum of money out of his share but if he doesn't, I'll just make sure she has the same amount in her savings by the time she turns 25. It seems the simplest way with the least amount of people involved.

OP posts:
DeadGood · 29/08/2018 10:41

I think it's a shame you won't be pursuing this OP, and I understand completely where you are coming from.

Assuming £5,000 each across 6 people, it would be less than £700 for each of them to make things fair and include your daughter. The other grandchildren wouldn't really miss that, and things would be equitable.

I can see why you are annoyed that this hasn't been considered. It benefits their children, so it's not in their interest to rectify it. That doesn't make it right.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 10:43

@DeadGood Given the pasting I've had on here, I don't want the in laws to think the same of me over such a small sum of money, so I'll just leave it. I've found this whole thread quite upsetting, although I realise I poorly worded the original post and I am overly sensitive about the subject having recently argued with him over it.

OP posts:
snowone · 29/08/2018 10:43

I'm 36 and my GF passed a couple of years ago. He didn't leave any money to his 5 grandchildren. I'm not sure why you think your DD is entitled to an inheritance from her grandparents? Maybe you should give her some of yours if you feel that way??

snowone · 29/08/2018 10:45

Sorry my bad - only read the beginning. I do think it's unfortunate that the others are named - if this is the case then your DD should be entitled to the same as them

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 10:45

@snowone As before, I poorly worded the original post as the other 6 grandchildren are named beneficiaries. If none were named, I would not have even mentioned it.

OP posts:
MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 29/08/2018 10:46

Alternatively I could speak to the probate solicitors and ask them to include her, perhaps that isn't an impossibility?

Of course it's impossible! They can't just decide someone who isn't named in the will is going to become a beneficiary! Their job is to distribute, not to make variations.

Fwiw I do see why you're a bit put out, but I think your plan to leave it and make sure she has the same amount from you two is likely to be the best one.

sprinklesandsauce · 29/08/2018 10:48

OP, I can see where you are coming from and your DD has been unfairly treated. If all other GC are getting something then your DD should also be included and all your DH siblings should want to include her. it would be easy for them to do a variation and split the GC share 7 ways rather than 6. It would be very selfish of them not to, but I can see that asking could create a problem. your DH should want to fight his DD's corner though.

I agree that the will was badly written. It should have referred to grandchildren XYZ and "any other issue", which would have covered any child born later. My own will has it in, even though I am not planning any more DC, just to cover all avenues.

I feel sorry for you that DH's siblings are so grabby that they are happy to see one GC cut out. You bet if it was their own child they would be doing something about it.

You are not the grabby one here :(

Taylor22 · 29/08/2018 10:48

My husband has already told his eldest two what sum of money they are receiving. He now has to go to them and tell them it will be less if our daughter is to be included.

Bullshit. He can't tell them anything. He can not legally take anything less than they have been assigned in the will. It is not their responsibility to financially compensate their half sister. If he wants to give her money then he does so out of his share. Leave his kids out of it.

He sounds like such a shitty father! How has he managed to convince all these woman to have kids with him?!

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 10:51

@Taylor22 The conclusion has been drawn that he can give her money from his share, not from anyone else's. I know it's a long thread and a lot of options have been mooted but ultimately that is the final word on it.

OP posts:
HiHoToffee · 29/08/2018 10:54

Your husband seems to be the problem here. He has told his eldest dc the amount and therefore can't change it? He wants his dc3 to pay off her mothers debt and he doesn't think dc4 should receive anything because she wasn't mentioned in the will? He is full of excuses and you are right to fight your daughter's corner.

brizzledrizzle · 29/08/2018 10:54

So from what most people have said - she is not entitled to the same as her siblings and cousins?

She is entitled to whatever her grandparents decided to leave her.

youarenot · 29/08/2018 10:57

Wow. My DP's parents aren't even leaving anything in their will to their 3DC's nevermind Grandchildren! They've been 'preparing' their DC's for the fact that everything they own will be left to such and such charities since they were preteens.

So no way would I be 'upset' that their will does not include our children.

Coyoacan · 29/08/2018 10:59

Just to update that after reading the advice, I won't be getting involved with anything to do with the will and will just let this one slide

A very wise move, OP. Congratulations. It is unfair, of course it is, but the expense, angst and family conflict involved in fighting it are not worth it.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 11:02

@Coyoacan If I feel upset by the advice dished out by people unknown to me on here, it will only be a hundred times worse when having to see the in-laws and stepchildren at family gatherings if I kick up a fuss. Even though I am part of the family, I'm not involved in their legal matters so I'll stay out of it.

OP posts:
becauseimbatman · 29/08/2018 11:03

It seems clear to me from your responses that this was not MIL's intention, if the Will hasn't been updated since before FIL died its quite likely he was the one in their relationship to organise money & paperwork and she just never thought about it, especially since your husband seems to share a distaste for future planning. I would imagine she would be mortified to think she had excluded someone through inaction.
Of course I didn't know her, maybe it was a deliberate snub against a 9 year old.
Perhaps ask your husband to imagine his mother's response to the situation had she known about it before she passed. Would she want to fix it? What would her friends say? What would she say if it happened to someone else? He knows best what SHE would have wanted.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 29/08/2018 11:08

There is no automatic right to be included anyone’s financial arrangements in this country.

For whatever reason she was not named in the will. Her Grandmother had sufficient time to change her arrangements but didn’t. Without knowing the relationship it’s possible to tell why she wasn’t included. It may seem unfair, it may be an oversight or not. A Deed of Variation could be possible, but only if all beneficiaries agree. The amount of time between your daughter being born and Grandmother’s death would make me less likely to agree.

VanGoghsDog · 29/08/2018 11:09

they don't think I have a right to have her included.

Because you don't have any such right.

There is no legal right for this child I'm afraid.

FrayedHem · 29/08/2018 11:12

I can understand your position. My mum's will makes no provision for grandchildren beyond the 4 she named (everything going to them). My understanding is a deed of variation would need court approval if any of the beneficiaries were under 18. As it seems the named beneficiaries in your case are unlikely to agree, I think you'll find the costs to contest are greater than what your DD would stand to inherit.

As an aside, I've been told although my mum's will states 21 as the age they inherit they are legally entitled to it once they are no longer minors - 16 Scotland or 18 England.

Winchester89 · 29/08/2018 11:13

Op - I think you've had a rough time on this thread. I agree that legally there isn't anything you can do.

However, I would be SO disappointed in my DH for not sorting this out automatically. It appears to be an oversight due to the age of your dd and the other children. I can't believe you DH is ok to just completely leave her out.

postcardsfrom · 29/08/2018 11:13

YABU. Money is NEVER worth falling out over NEVER. Not with friends NOT in a family.
My grandmother wanted my DS and I to have some money - not a lot but significant to her - but didn't change her will in time. My DF and others got everything split between them equally. My DF then gave me and my sister the sum my DG wanted us to have from his share, to follow her wishes. NOT for a second did anyone think about contesting the will etc.
How about you think how your DH is feeling with the loss of his mother instead of money-grubbing? Your DH can give his DC the same amount that the grandkids got. IF it really is that important to you.

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 29/08/2018 11:15

It sounds horrid @RogueApostrophe but if you're mother in law didn't change it to include your DD after her birth then she's not getting anything!

To contest it is not just grabby, but also spiteful to the others.

Just respect what has been done and move on.

OzymandiasFanClub · 29/08/2018 11:17

Ignore the nastiness OP. It is completely understandable that you are upset that your DC is the ONLY grandchild not to inherit. It isn't fair. But that doesn't mean it isn't legal.

Grandma did have 10 years in which to change her will and, for whatever reasons - oversight, fear of expense, or an actual desire to not leave money to your DC for some reason, she did not change her will. And you can't do much about that.

I'm thinking from your posts, that all the grandchildren who are inheriting WERE alive when the will was written? She hasn't made a new will to include some later grandchildren but not yours??

Frogpond · 29/08/2018 11:18

I would take her siblings share and divide it up equally between them. It's not worth causing a fight over money.

frogsoup · 29/08/2018 11:22

"Money is NEVER worth falling out over NEVER."

What a facile comment. It's not about money as such, it's about its emotional symbolism. If your parents leave you 3 million quid and the family mansion, and your impoverished sibling 4 pounds 50 and an old hairdryer, then of course it's a fair thing to fall out over, because such blatant unfairness would speak volumes about the relative affection you were both held in. If you refused to make things more equitable for your sibling then damn right they'd be justified in breaking ties.