45K in debt

[UsedToLoveMorrissey]

Hello, i think i just need to get this off my chest.

We are £45k in debt. All unsecured, and no access to anymore credit and all in husband's name.

I don't work. I used to do well on-line and at craft fairs but that has taken a huge hit and I don't do fairs anymore as they are not worth it now where we live. I am learning to drive so I can get a job within school hours (we live in the middle of nowhere, 5 buses a day, if they bother to show up and times don't suit to get back for DS).

DH has a good job, but we live in Scotland and I think the rate has changed or the pension contributions have because DH is less £70 a month now. I cried when I saw this this morning.

We can make the payments but any spending above our food/petrol/school lunches etc and we end up in our overdraft so by christmas, we are £2k down. My craft sales at xmas pay this off thankfully, and pays for presents but the rest of the year is rubbish. I sell on Etsy so I dont have a website to upkeep, just the cost of listing each item and a small % in commission.

DS has a good job, but with less than £3k a month coming in, and £900 of to go purely on CC and Loans repayments, excluding mortgage and car (which DH needs because of where we live) we are struggling. Our food bill is approx £100 per month. That includes 1 bottle of wine. No smokes. I have coeliac disease so my bread is a bit dearer, but that's only one loaf a week. One pack of GF biscuits, no other biscuits and very little crap.

I'm not a good cook, we eat basic meals that I do cook from scratch. We eat meat once a week (either chicken or mince beef), we eat mostly salads with tuna/roasted veg and rice/baked pots/soups. We don't eat takeways (we live too far our for delivery). I get the shopping delivered from Asda as that works out at about 40p per week with the mid week saver. We go through about 20 eggs a week (DS and DH love them). Sliced Egg on toast is a favourite weekend lunch.

We eat a lot of fruit, which we do buy from M&S as that is so nice. I have found the delivered fruit to be poor quaility.

If I really try, I am sure we could shave about £10 of the shopping. But really, I cant see anywhere else to make the saving.

The issue somes to this: because we are making the payments, we've not missed one, the Debt website Step Change, are recommending a cut in spending accross the board but no debt advice as such because we can repay.

Also, DH has a job which he would lose if he was made bankrupt. We'd love the debt to be paid off, but we have no extra income, and we'd be out on the streets if were chose a debt soloution as we have no savings to get us through DS losing his job.

I'm prepared to accept the advice that we simply have to accept the situation, we can pay the debt, we have a house and food, but we have nothing else. Any clothes, hair cuts, days out takes us further in debt. It's getting us down and we are snipping at each other too. I'm probably about 6mth away from passing my driving test, and will be reliant on getting a part time job to help out. Until then, I'll keep doing surveys. Being a lurker on here, I have recently changed the CC repayments to a set amount, so that should reduce the balance so much quicker. Thank you t the poster who mentioned this trick.

Sorry for the moan. I know we are to a certain extent luckier than so many people but for 2 very unflashy, unshowy people, we sure have wracked up too much debt through poor choices years ago.

I don't mean to sound mean, but it sounds like you have only just realised this is a problem. Words like 'forever home's suggest you have bought a lifestyle that you can't afford as sold to you by the TV. Most people buy the home they can afford. Also - apologies to crafters - but isn't this a lifestyle job that is unlikely to ever bring in a decent year-round wage. It's a job for people who don't really need a job, but that's not you.
If I have read it correctly you have one DS who is going to high school next year, so there is really no reason for you to be at home all day. You could probably work full time with little impact on him. My DD is about to start high school and with the buses it looks like she will be out of the house 7.45am-4.15pm each day.

What amenities are there in your village and what kind of options might they have for work?

Learning to drive is good as it will make your work options much better, but it is expensive. I just had my first year driving and my insurance cost almost £1700 for the year. Second year is around £500. It might be cheaper if you can get insured on your husband's car. Will you need to buy a second car though?

What kinds of skills do you have? You mention having worked in retail and you are obviously quite creative. What were you good at at school etc?

Also, what about looking for jobs in the town where DH works, so you can car share

Lottery 30
phones 30
Netflix 8
Sky 25
BT 55

£150 A month.

Out of that, I have 2 of those and pay,

£7.50 for my phone.
£25.00 B.T

I'm sure you could get a cheaper deal on the Sports.
I have a Now T.V box. One off payment £15.

Looked st Sky - can't go until January. or we pay the remaining months as a cancellation fee. DH will look at BT. Going to phone mortgage company this week to see what they can do about remortgaging.

Looking at jobs right now.

I'm not pleading poverty - I am burdeoned by the debt with nothing left for nice extras. And by that I mean, if we go to the cinema, that takes us into the overdraft. Which next month gets paid, but leaves is £20 less, so any other extras the next month, more into the OD. so we do our best not to have any extras. But there was the new tyre after one got a massive puncture. There was the winter coat for DS as the previous was just too small ...

Cutting the food bill is happening right now. Looking at what we spend is also happening.

I know were are in so much more fortunate that other people. I am not claiming that I can struggling to pay for food or heating - just that the amount of debt is now weighing us down.

Moving is not an option! The house is only 2 years old, there will little if any equity at all, so legal/EA fees would have to be found from somewhere. It's not a huge house. It's a small 3 bed, one bathroom. But it's in a quiet area, in a small estate, we didn't buy a huge fancy house as an investment, just a nice house to get us out the rough area we had previously bought our last house (1st bad decision of many).

Depending on what job i get/hours a 2nd car might be needed, but it would be a small 2nd hand just to get me t here and back. Definetly not on a payment plan. A cheapy £500 runaround car but that really is down the line as it very much depends on what job i get.

No real skills - I've worked in offices/shops since school so no proper qualifications and never made my way up the career ladder. But I'm on a mission to get a job asap so I am looking at everything.

I think we get stuck in a rut with only imagining we can do the jobs we have done, but if you've worked in an office you will probably have loads of skills that could transfer to another office.

Have you updated your CV and do you have a nice but critical friend you can ask to read it?

Don't worry, I didn't get the impression you were pleading poverty at all. If anything, the opposite! I think you still haven't really got your head around the debt and the idea that your lifestyle will have to change quite a bit. You owe £45k, so you are quite poor. But the good thing is that it's not forever, your DH has a good income and when you get a job this will only increase. When you start making changes and making a dent in the debt, some of the stress will be lifted and you will be able to breathe again.

usedto we were in a really similar situation maxed out cards and unsecured loans totalling£47k give or take. We decided to go down the debt management plan route. It may not be the best solution for everyone but it worked for us. We have been debt free for 3 years now.
My suggestions are
Get in touch with a debt charity.... They have loads of really good advice.
Read through the frugaleers and TIPs threads. There is loads of really good advice, encouragement and support to be had on them. Trust me when you have had you 11th consecutive"fast day" it is great to be reminded that there is light at the end of the tunnel
Work out exactly where that £850 pm is going. Track every item of expenditure... If it is not absolutely necessary for keeping body and soul together and a roof over your head then question why you are making the spend.
Look at all expenditure and decide if it is needed or if it can be cut. If it is needed then explore options for doing it for less.
Identify those areas of expenditure where you inadvertently pay someone to do a job for you.... Ready prepared food is an obvious example.
Go through your bank statement and check for forgotten direct debits. We had a couple that I had forgotten about for things we no longer needed.
Make a budget - include everything. You have a child how much are you spending on their birthday party and how many reciprocated gifts will you have to buy £150 plus 10x £5 = £200 so put £17 pm away or once a month on average you have to buy lunch on the move type of detail. It is eye opening how much the little things add up to.
Learn to cook well - if you can disguise the fact you are eating tinned tomatoes and pasta everyday for the millionth time it makes it bearable. It also allows you to take advantage of supermarket offers. I still plan meals around Aldi's super savers.
Prioritise your debts and budget their repayment... I noticed that you hadn't included them in your monthly breakdown summary. As TIP says pay the expensive ones first.
Have a small amount of savings..... Ours was just £200 to cover things like the washer dying. This meant once we started the DMP then we didn't have to source expensive debt to replace them.

Most importantly get your dh and kids on board. There is no point saving like mad if someone else is spending just as fast as you make savings.

blinkowl I’ve never heard of Bulb, but they’re coming up a good bit cheaper then the other quotes I’ve had! I’m moving next week, so I’ll be using your link to sign up with them

Have you claimed back any PPI? I ignored the hype for years but saw the ‘Resolver’ website (backed by Martin Lewis) which does it for you. I had £6k in the bank within 6 weeks! Even if you think you don’t have PPI or you can’t remember, just make a claim b3cause you never know.

ohreallyohreally I don’t want to derail the thread but I’m interested in what you say and PPI claims and not knowing.

I’ve kept a close eye on any accounts: student, postgrad, then credit cards and overdrafts. I can’t see how I could have been missold anything. Is it still worth submitting a claim? I just can’t see where it would have occurred!

Could you look into childminding?

I'm a childminder and yes I work long hours but I bring home between £1400-1800 per month working 4 days a week. It fits it with family life.

I know you said you live quite a way out of town but it may be worth looking at?

My SIL had been a Saha for a long time, having previously worked in offices. She did a short course at local college which really improved her skills. Sorry I don’t know the name of it but it was to do with Microsoft word Office/Word. She got a job very quickly after completing it.

Do you have a local FE college?

Getting a job would make the biggest difference. It doesn't have to be around school hours - most parents use a childminder or after school club.

Have you looked into getting an IVA?
I know you said your dh mustn't become bankrupt in his job , does the same apply for an IVA?

Can I ask what kind of crafts you were selling on Etsy? It's a distinct possibility you could be making more money out of selling the supplies/materials you've already bought for your craft to other crafters on Etsy. You already know how it works, so set up another shop (if you don't want to do it with your existing Etsy store) and get selling all the bits you've got already.

I can almost guarantee you'll see immediate sales - the more you've got up for sale, the more you'll sell (as many buyers like to buy in bulk to save on postage) and you might be pleasantly surprised at how much you'd make (i.e. more than actually making your craft!)

WELL! I looked online at the mortgage. We can apply online for a remortgage with the same lender. DH is working atm but tonight we'll look at the T&Cs and properly apply. Assuming all is well, we will save £195 on our mortgage. I am over the moon and hoping this is the case, and also feeling utterly stupid that I didn't know about this before and have spent the past 5 months paying the higher rate when the 2 year fixed ran out.

If it goes through, we will be using the money saved to pay into the largest CC and fingers crossed it will take only 2 years or so to pay off, along with the 300 we already pay into that.

To the PPs who mentioned this thank you.

I looked through the DD - a magazine sub that we had forgotten about really, it comes off once a year rather than every month, but that's cancelled.

Crafts - I make jewellery. Nothing fancy and I've let things slip a bit (some anxiety and feeling low). I do have lots of things that I bought and never used thinking I would use them eventually. I'll sell these on Etsy asap! Thank you.

Childminding - there are only 9 houses in our street, just outside the village. At the moment, there are no kids that need minded (one tiny baby, gorgeous, but I don't think the mum worked before she had him) and I think there are a couple of teenagers, but I don't see many other kids on the street and I don't know any neighbours very well to ask. Not driving would be a drawback but it is certainly something I'll look into once I can drive.

I'm feeling less anxious than I have done in months. I'm going to look into the PPI things. I am sure weve never, either as a couple or before that, taken it out but that's this afternoons research.

Usedtolovemorrisey
Its funny how just focussing on the issue and clarifying EXACTLY what you are spending and doing makes a big difference very fast.

You may not get the mortgage change

but if you add the lottery ticket money to your credit card standing order each month, you will win the real lottery of life sooner

Great news! As @talkinpeace said, facing the issue is more effective than burying your head in the sand: I’ve learnt that one the hard way!

Fingers crossed you got a better mortgage. Have you been through a broker or just your current lender?

So hopefully you can start to pay off c.£500 p/m.

Once the mortgage is sorted, maybe Ajm to increase this to £600 or £700 with your crafting skills and/or part time job.

Good luck and keep us posted !

You’ve achieved so much in the past 24 hours!

Thanks guys, no broker or lender. Literally just looked up the lender online. There was a link for existing mortage borrowers to remortgage. I clicked, popped in the details with the account number and it came up with options. Options from a fixed 2 year (really low) to a fixed 5 year, which brings the repayment down by the £195. The next stage is to click to process which Ive not done yet as my husband isn't in and I really don't want to mess this up. We will do it tonight. I phoned him and he was as gobsmacked as I was that we did'nt think to do t his. I think when you have debt you pretend it isn't there. But t has to be faced sooner or later and we need to to it now.

Thanks @talkinpeace I've not been through the speadsheet link you posted but I will do soon

Well done OP!

What about other payments that roll over eg insurance, utilities etc. Do you check these every time they come up for renewal to make sure you've got the best price? I find this kind of thing really tedious, but luckily DH is obsessive about it, and you do actually save quite a bit of money. I just saved £800 on my car insurance quote.

Ultimately though, the biggest impact is going to be you getting a job. If you're feeling anxious, maybe you have been putting it off or looking for reasons why it's not possible eg you have to do the school run, even though lots of other people use breakfast and tea time clubs? This is completely understandable, but you can also recognise it as an unhelpful way of thinking if you're struggling financially. I have had a bit of anxiety before (nothing diagnosed), but found it much worse when I was at home freelancing. Going out and working in an office really helped. I suddenly had to get up, get dressed and get going every morning, whether I felt great or not. I think I needed that. Also, having less time to think and worry about things was really good for me.

A broker might be able to get you a better mortgage with another lender .... might be worth a quick chat with one ?

Options from a fixed 2 year (really low) to a fixed 5 year, which brings the repayment down by the £195. The next stage is to click to process
Be very careful
One of my clients had a deal that lowered their mortgage by £50 a month
but it came with a fee of £1000
so they were no better off for two years ......

Great news OP! You’ve done so much in 24hrs.

There’s been some great general advice on this thread, I’m going to look at Bulb and also that budgeting app.

patsyspyjamas we've always just auto renewed. Ive aleways left that up to DH since I did it on our 1st house and we paid £30 per month on home insurance as I filled the form out wrong or something. We paid that for years because I didnt think to look around, DH changed and we get it for £17. But we will definetly be looking around now.

Jobs - I've not had a job in 8 years but I also think my anxiety will be much better if I am and about. The move to the country was the best thing we ever did for our son - he is thriving, but I am stuck at home and cut off because I don't drive. That will change though once I pass my test (why did I think I could learn at 47???)