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Original poster

Teenage daughter can't afford passport

127 replies

Teenie78 · 18/07/2017 11:26

My daughter who is almost 18 insisted she wanted to come abroad with us this year. She is working but only part time. We agreed that we would pay for her to go but she would have to get her own passport and spending money. We are now just over 2 months until the holiday and she hasn't got a passport or saved any money at all. I know I need to follow through on the deal we made, but I feel awful as we can't afford to do it for her as we had to buy a new car and save our own money. What should I do?

OP posts:
ExpatinBah · 18/07/2017 12:22

Two 'months' to go

SandyDenny · 18/07/2017 12:23

oliversmummy - you're completely wrong about the minimum wage, is certainly does apply under 18, employers paying £2 an hour need to be reported

I'm torn, the way you've described your DD suggests she doesn't really deserve you to pay for her holiday especially as she hasn't stuck to the agreement.

What does she think about being left behind?

comeagainforbigfudge · 18/07/2017 12:24

She's only 18!

Thousands of 18 years up and down the country will be going of on their first hols without parents having arranged it, and paid for it, themselves. Including sorting passport and spending money.

If she was still in fte, then fair enough. But shes not, she dropped out and op has already said how her dd is declining overtime. But still expects bank of mum n dad to sort her out for a hols? No chance

Op can you cancel and money back?

Otherwise. New deal with dd. Get passport but dd has to pay it off in installments. Thats fair imo

Peachyking000 · 18/07/2017 12:25

YABU in my opinion. If she's on under 18's min wage that's only £80 or so quid a week! I think a child who still lives at home should automatically be included in family holidays. If I couldn't afford a passport for my child, then I wouldn't be going abroad.

Goodasgoldilox · 18/07/2017 12:25

Since you have already paid so much - stick to the agreement but you pay for the passport upfront.

Arrange that she pays you back on a monthly/weekly basis - from now! (And do stick to this.)

If she has dropped out of study - isn't opting for more work and spends much time sleeping, she is probably a bit depressed. This isn't a great time in her life. It is hard to face new things when you feel a bit of a failure. Perhaps the holiday will help.

redexpat · 18/07/2017 12:27

The dd has had plenty of warning so my sympathy is limited frankly. Did she not realise how much passports cost? I think i would pay it for her and then that would be her christmas or birthday present.

GahBuggerit · 18/07/2017 12:28

Why is this is Money Matters OP? Hmm

toledanosunshie · 18/07/2017 12:29

I'm just shocked that you're expecting her to pay for her own passport, she's 17! It's reasonable to ask her to bring her own spending money to buy whatever rubbish she wants but if she's coming on holiday with you she's part of the family and I'd expect you to be covering all her costs including passport and of course food, who wouldn't?

Popchyck · 18/07/2017 12:29

Because it is about money?

They don't issue passports without it unfortunately.

SandyDenny · 18/07/2017 12:31

Gahbuggerit - you're going to be very busy if you're going to police where threads are posted, at least this ones about money.

Why not spend some time in AIBU, huge numbers of threads have no unreasonable question at all

Oliversmumsarmy · 18/07/2017 12:32

oliversmummy - you're completely wrong about the minimum wage, is certainly does apply under 18, employers paying £2 an hour need to be reported

Dd earns £19 for a 9am-6pm shift but it suits her as it is flexible. Something that if she had another Saturday job she would struggle with given her other business. She also has the opportunity of stepping in and earning nearer £40 per hour if certain people are away.

She's only 18

Actually she is only 17

sonlypuppyfat · 18/07/2017 12:34

I can remember 3 holidays when I was a kid all here in England, as soon as I was 17 my parents were off everywhere, tours round Europe, Greek Islands you name it. And I was left at home and I was an only child and I thought we had a good relationship. I'm 50 now and it still hurts

Enidblyton1 · 18/07/2017 12:35

How bizarre.

Just pay for her passport and make sure she does it with enough time to get it back before holiday. You should have factored this into the total cost of the holiday for your 17 year old.

Then if you want your DD to contribute a certain amount of money towards the trip, just set out a payment plan with her and work out when/how she pays you.

Simple?

Original poster
Teenie78 · 18/07/2017 12:35

I do feel bad and we weren't going to have a holiday at all this year. We have always taken her on holidays before and never made an issue about money as I know as a parent I should be paying for these things. I had no choice but to get a new car as my job requires me to drive and my old car was completely finished. She has earned probably around £120 per week since we booked the holiday, yet has not saved one penny. We have been putting any extra we had into paying the holiday off in time for us to go as the car was needed just after we booked. Obviously I wouldn't have booked anything if I'd known my car was going to die.

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 18/07/2017 12:40

YANBY - you did everything right OP, and her age has nothing to do without though other posters seem to forget that 18 is an adult age! She is an adult and is working to live like one. She had a small goal set which she is going to miss because she doesn't turn up for work or save anything, so of course it's her won fault.

You're doing nothing mean at all, you're not banning her from going and she understood the deal in advance and presumably agreed to it!

cestlavielife · 18/07/2017 12:41

Pay for her pass port
Presumably you like her and this might be last time she does go with you
but don't give her any spending money on holiday
That is down to her

SandyDenny · 18/07/2017 12:56

oliversmummy - your dd may get paid that but that doesn't mean that there isn't a law is that the minimum wage must apply.

Are you happy that she's being exploited? I'd worry that an employer who's ignoring the law might not have proper H & S or liability insurance

Motheroffourdragons · 18/07/2017 13:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

sonlypuppyfat · 18/07/2017 13:08

An adult at 18 my arse, she's just starting out. How can she having anything put by just on minimum age. My DS is 18 perhaps I should just throw him out now to fend for himself now he's 18

Oliversmumsarmy · 18/07/2017 13:13

SandyDenny it is a little bit more complicated than reporting and stopping my dd getting "exploited"

What the job entails she has realised gives her opportunities in other areas and where she works opens doors elsewhere.

AreWeThereYet000 · 18/07/2017 13:22

Agree with the 18th birthday present.

FWIW, my mum, me and my 2 DCs are going abroad next year, I work part time as I can't afford childcare/mortgage/bills if I put the kids in childcare full time.

I've saved my arse off to afford to pay my and DCs share of the holiday and I have realised the mine and my sons passport need renewing to be valid on return and the baby needs one, I can't afford all this so my mum is covering the cost on the understanding it's my birthday/xmas present - I'm 27! X

Original poster
Teenie78 · 18/07/2017 13:24

She works for a well known company and is on £5.65 per hour. I'm not making her fend for herself, just trying to encourage her to save for the things she wants to do.

OP posts:
pinkhorse · 18/07/2017 13:24

YANBU

DP and I went abroad this year with my DS 7 and his DD 15 and left his DS 19 at home as we just couldnt afford to pay for him as well. He's an adult earning money so we felt he should pay for himself.

It doesnt sound as though your DD has tried very hard to save this money. I wouldnt reward laziness.

SandyDenny · 18/07/2017 13:25

Motherofdragons - if you're in England the school leaving age is 16 (as it says on your link), not sure where you're getting 18 from.

Oliversmumsarmy - obviously it's your choice to let your dd work for under minimum wage but it still doesn't make it legal or acceptable imo

Motheroffourdragons · 18/07/2017 13:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.