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Original poster

Boyfriend charging me rent at a property he owns

255 replies

blueamanda · 20/03/2016 19:14

Hello everyone!

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My bf has recently bought a flat, 95% of the money came from his parents, he doesn't have a mortgage and he took out a loan to cover the rest. The idea was that we'd move in together, but we haven't exactly discussed the details until now.

I was more then happy to share the bills and food costs with him from the get go, however he now wants to charge me rent as well, which would be half of my current rent. He calls this a non-specific contribution to the flat, this is not going to be a landlord tenant agreement. All this would be outlined in a living together agreement and he also wants me to sign a waiver saying I will have no claim on the property.

This ordeal has left a bitter taste for me, since I'd be contributing financially to the flat that isn't mine and I don't have the same protection a tenant does. I'm in a far more vulnerable position.

I would love to hear some advice and perspectives from anyone in a similar situation.

Also does anyone know if my bf is charging me rent is he legally obligated to pay tax on it? Would I be better off pushing for a landlord tenant agreement? I won't be renting a room from him, but sharing the bedroom.

Many thanks!

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 21/03/2016 21:05

I would consider a man who wanted to live rent free in my home to be childish at best (no idea of the costs of ownership and looking for someone else to put a roof over his head) and a cocklodger at worst. Especially if he was benefitting from saving rent on his own place.

Splitting the bills goes without saying, but the OP has not said how much rent she thinks is fair given that she does not expect to live rent free.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 21:11

So OP has asked for help in relation to an amount she's being asked to put forward (value - we don't know) as rent on a property (with a market rent we don't know) set against a loan he has (value - we don't know) - we're meant to decide if that is reasonable???????

OP, help us!

Crumblevision · 21/03/2016 21:13

I agree with Robindeer, I think that's a fair solution.

Vijac · 21/03/2016 21:43

I think his suggestion is totally reasonable, he is just protecting himself. If you do stay together then you can be cam glad that you are with someone who is sensible about money and doesn't take risks. I would guess that if you stay together/get married then in time it will be irrelevant as your finances with join together. If you split up then you've just had cheap rent for a while!

kellyboppen · 21/03/2016 22:28

I'm also curious as to what the costs are.

You're asking us to open up and give you honest advice based on our experiences (and I've been through something not totally different) but why are you not prepared to say what the costs are or what you think you would find fair?

By the way, very unlikely he would have to pay tax (I'm an accountant)

kellyboppen · 21/03/2016 22:43

Also OP, what sort of guy is he when it comes to money? Is he tight or generous by nature?

BombadierFritz · 21/03/2016 22:51

Op hasnt clarified but she says she wont be renting a room from him, but sharing the bedroom (implies one). I guess he could be getting another lodger in the spare room but it isnt mentioned. Its a bit hard to know if renting a room in someone elses house would be cheaper or if op currently rents a flat by herself

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 22:57

It's very ambiguous. If more than one I would probably still say sharing the bedroom, not sharing one of the bedrooms as its a bit of a mouthful. Sharing a bedroom sounds weird.

wendyrotherham · 22/03/2016 08:44

Do you really want our advice and perspectives OP or do you just want people on here to say you are right?

Your silence makes me think it might be the second one.

wendyrotherham · 22/03/2016 10:44

@Bombardierfritz, OP has said it's 'half of my current rent' so yes , would be cheaper than OP's current situation

BombadierFritz · 22/03/2016 11:52

Yes but what is her current situation? If a room to herself in a shared house, then yes it is a reasonable price for a shared bedroom. But if she currently rents a flat by herself, it might be similarly cheaper for her to rent one room in a shared flat but with more security

wendyrotherham · 22/03/2016 12:07

Good point BombadierFritz. What is the situation OP?
On the security, when we switch from renting to cohabiting with our OPs, don't we go from being at the mercy of a landlord - who can shove us out whether we like it or not with notice - to being at the mercy of our relationship (I wouldn't want to live with my DP if we broke up). Neither offer security of staying in the same place.
Is the solution for couples to never live together?!

RhodaBull · 22/03/2016 14:52

If say he wanted me to pay half of his service charge, I would consider that more reasonable

OP says above on page 1 of thread.
Unless the bf is living in a serviced flat with 24-hour porter and underground swimming pool, I don't think half the service charge cuts it.

Discussing money is unromantic. We're brought up on Cinderella where Prince Charming sweeps her off to his castle and there's no humming and haaaing about her financial contribution and whether she's a freeloader. But we're not in fairyland and therefore it is entirely reasonable for OP to contribute fairly and to understand that her bf wants to protect himself in the case of a break up.

SarahUnderwood · 22/03/2016 15:26

"In either scenario, even when I walk away with some savings after say 3 years I will still not be able to buy property on the London market."

It sound like she would like to live rent-free so to build up savings so as to buy a London property and with the extra money she'll save from his suggestion it wont be enough.

But if thats the primary motivation, why be bitter about ending up with a partner who has one ready made? Hardly anyone these days can afford London property. Sure if the relationship goes well, they'll end up sharing their money and assets.

I really think the OP is lucky and has no cause to be bitter. Just MOO.

Thatswhytheycallittheblues · 22/03/2016 16:58

They're not married, I doubt he's got a gun to OP's head and he is offering OP to live in a fancy London flat for £200 and OP is bitter?
If it doesn't work out, can I have his number? ツ

juliamackam · 22/03/2016 17:29

This is such an easy one.

Of course she should pay half the market rent.

If she pays anything less, she's a kept woman and won't have the same say in how the household is run.
If he is nice enough to insist she pay less than half, she should offer to help out around the flat more to show appreciation for this.

The flat is his, that's an entirely different thing and whether he got it from working as a trader, from his parents or from a winning lottery ticket is totally irrelevant.

juliamackam · 22/03/2016 17:41

In terms of her not wanting not to be vulnerable, I suggest she save up and buy her own flat to support the lifestyle she wants. Then she'll be free of any kind of landlord.

In fact, this is by far the best suggestion.

If she can't do that quickly enough, then she shouldn't use her boyfriend as a cash cow in the meanwhile which seems to be her expectation.

Lynnm63 · 22/03/2016 19:17

I may be in the minority but he wants you to pay rent at half market rate to share a bed with him. If your landlord suggested that you'd ring the police. His costs are no more with you there than not. I imagine he will gain from having you there either housework, cooking, company or a shag on tap. I think it's reasonable for him to expect you to save the equivalent of your current rent which will be able to assist you both if you move up the property ladder if your relationship pans out. The money if you split should be yours. I agree you should sign a legal document to say you make no claim on the flat unless you marry or have a child.

I moved in with DH after a few weeks he had a house and he didn't ask for rent I don't think I'd have moved in if he had.

SarahUnderwood · 22/03/2016 19:28

If you move in with eg a friend, you gain from housework, cooking, company (not the last one LOL) so that's a bit irrelevent.

And it's half her old rate, not half the market rent - that might be a helluva lot more.

Think about this the other way round.

A man should be able to move into his gf's house, benefit from a shag on tap, pay no rent and leave her when he a wants with a load of savings.

You ok with that?

Lynnm63 · 22/03/2016 19:47

If he was incurring costs then she should meet half. Ops BF is saying you're not entitled to any part of flat, not entitled to any tenant rights, I want that in writing. I'm not incurring any additional costs but I want you to save and I want half of that if we split. I know it's a generalisation and maybe her BF is a whizz with a duster and a cordon bleu cook to boot but I guess OP will end up doing all the housework etc and will be expected to contribute to decorating and upkeep.

The normal cocklodger threads on here are a guy who contributes nothing save a shag and that's not what I'm suggesting the OPs offering.

SarahUnderwood · 22/03/2016 19:49

Soz if I sounded rude Lynnm63 as definitely not intended and respect your view.
Meant about this particular situation, which in many ways is kinda impossible to comment on properly as we barely have any facts.

PurpleDaisies · 22/03/2016 19:50

I know it's a generalisation and maybe her BF is a whizz with a duster and a cordon bleu cook to boot but I guess OP will end up doing all the housework etc and will be expected to contribute to decorating and upkeep.

We know almost nothing about their relationship. That's a heck of an assumption to make.

Justanothermanicfriday · 22/03/2016 19:53

I know it's a generalisation

You aren't kidding. Plus having a go at the bf whom you know absolutely nothing about.

SarahUnderwood · 22/03/2016 19:58

Why do you guess OP will end up doing all the housework and have to contribute to upkeep? That is a bit speculative.
And we still don't know what size the loan is. It might be a tiny sum, it might be a small fortune.

SarahUnderwood · 22/03/2016 20:02

I cant understand why no word from the OP.
Must be interested in all this and be good to hear a bit more from her.

Maybe gone abroad (did she say she was Spanish or am I imagining that?)