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Original poster

Boyfriend charging me rent at a property he owns

255 replies

blueamanda · 20/03/2016 19:14

Hello everyone!

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My bf has recently bought a flat, 95% of the money came from his parents, he doesn't have a mortgage and he took out a loan to cover the rest. The idea was that we'd move in together, but we haven't exactly discussed the details until now.

I was more then happy to share the bills and food costs with him from the get go, however he now wants to charge me rent as well, which would be half of my current rent. He calls this a non-specific contribution to the flat, this is not going to be a landlord tenant agreement. All this would be outlined in a living together agreement and he also wants me to sign a waiver saying I will have no claim on the property.

This ordeal has left a bitter taste for me, since I'd be contributing financially to the flat that isn't mine and I don't have the same protection a tenant does. I'm in a far more vulnerable position.

I would love to hear some advice and perspectives from anyone in a similar situation.

Also does anyone know if my bf is charging me rent is he legally obligated to pay tax on it? Would I be better off pushing for a landlord tenant agreement? I won't be renting a room from him, but sharing the bedroom.

Many thanks!

OP posts:
Lemond1fficult · 21/03/2016 18:06

The fairest solution would be for you to pay half of all costs associated with the house. Bills, dp’s loan (until it’s paid), furniture. You should pay it monthly – his retrospective savings idea is bizarre, like some kind of good behaviour bond.

Is the rent he’s asking for considerably more than half of his loan repayments? If so, it sounds as if he wants you to pay off his loan for him, which isn’t fair.

If you pay half your current rent, surely that’s similar to what you’d pay if you and he were renting a one-bedroom together? So you wouldn’t be benefitting at all from it being a bought house. From a romantic point of view he should be willing to share at least some of his good fortune with you.

Romance aside, if you live somewhere pricey then this could be a good deal for you whatever happens. But you should protect yourself – save, save, save so you can make your own investment later on (and keep the lot!). Sign a tenancy agreement (you can download one quite easily), so he can’t just chuck you out with no notice. Make sure you agree in advance to make equal decisions on decorating, what furniture you buy – don’t let him pull rank because his name’s on the deed.

PurpleDaisies · 21/03/2016 18:10

Maybe I'm totally unromantic but I just don't see what the issue is with the boyfriend asking for £200 a month. That's incredibly cheap for London and the op can save while she's living there. If they get married or decide to make a more permanent commitment they'll likely end up sharing a lot of their finances anyway. If not the op has lived cheaply with someone for a while and has a nice chunk of savings.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 18:17

Retrospective savings idea is bizarre?

But its OP herself who is currently actively persuing that!!
"I suggested that we go for half of the rent going into a savings account and if we end up buying together it will go towards my percentage in the new place, in case of I break up with him he gets the money"

Lemond1fficult · 21/03/2016 18:27

sarahunderwood, I thought it was the boyfriend?

'His initial suggestion was that I put what I pay for rent now into a savings account and that would be put towards our future property and if we break up he gets half of the money. I felt like that was almost the same arrangement, except he's charging the rent retrospectively.'

Either way, it's crazy talk. Break-ups can get nasty. Best not to have cash to fight about if you can avoid it.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 18:38

Lemond1fficult, I agree.

What I still don't understand is why if her boyfriend has asked her if she wants to move into a fancy place that belongs entirely to him and in doing so cut her rent in half, that leaves her with a bitter taste?

My girlfriend owns a flat and has asked me to pay rent if I want to move in, which would be half of my current rent. This ordeal has left a bitter taste for me

Not wishing to be disloyal to my fellow sex but seriously the other way round and most of us would be be up in arms...

Lemond1fficult · 21/03/2016 18:52

sarahunderwood I totally agree that she shouldn't be looking for a free ride (and is not, from what I can see), but it doesn't feel as if her dp is looking to share his good fortune with her. Obvs we don't have true figures, but if he makes her pay more than half, he is profiting from her, which seems like very bad faith in a long-term partnership.

Thatswhytheycallittheblues · 21/03/2016 18:58

Yeah, definitely.
Can we have the true figures please OP when you get home from work?

guerre · 21/03/2016 19:21

It's probably.more like £200/per week if it's London.
I'm fairly sure she said there's no spare room, meaning for all that rent, albeit half the current amount, she would have no private space of her own.
It may be a better arrangement to let out his flat, for his benefit, and the two of you move in together somewhere neutral.
Far better prospect.

Thatswhytheycallittheblues · 21/03/2016 19:23

Don't remember any talk of no spare room.

LionsLedge · 21/03/2016 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thatswhytheycallittheblues · 21/03/2016 19:29

How much is the proposed 'rent' relative to your current rent?

OP says its half.

BYOSnowman · 21/03/2016 19:37

I would say half of market rent for the flat is the starting point.

Maybe it would be better if he rented the flat out and then the pair of you rented a flat together. The finances can be kept totally separate as you both pay 50/50 and there will be no resentment over living in someone else's home/feeling like the other person is with you for cheap rent.

If you find living together goes well you can then reassess as I would guess that living in his flat would still be cheaper for both of you.

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 19:38

I don't know what to make of this as we are not being given the figures and I'm not sure why OP would seem reluctant to reveal them.
Seen quite a few people ask about the loan. How much is he paying each month on the loan and how much are you being asked to contribute as rent?

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 19:43

Actually I don't know why everyone is giving the OP such a gentle ride. I feel like I've read this kind of post a few times before but all the other posters were transparant about the numbers and it makes me question whether there are things we are not being told.

robindeer · 21/03/2016 20:03

Hmm. Nope.

I would certainly offer to pay 50% rent if he was incurring rent charges;

I would pay rent if he was paying a mortgage and I wouldn't expect a share of the property as that would be a fair share of the outgoings he has incurred;

OR

I would pay half the mortgage and expect a share of the property.

But, his parents bought the flat. He is paying nothing towards it bar his loan payment (5% of the value). Could you offer to pay half the loan repayments?

If you're paying half the bills etc and you have a legal document drawn up that you have no claim on the flat then I think that's enough of a contribution. I also think if you have an understanding that the money you save on rent is potentially a deposit for a future, shared property then that is your contribution. If you split he has no claim on that money, just as you have no claim on the flat.

If you don't feel comfortable with the financial arrangements he is proposing and he won't take your thoughts into consideration then hold off on moving in. He is probably under some pressure from his family as it is their investment. Things may settle later, but please don't leave yourself financially dependent with no escape route from the relationship. Not judging your DP at all, but it's you asking for advice so I'm inclined to see your side.

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 20:08

How is her paying half of what she is currently paying leaving her financially dependent??

With the money she is saving versus her current situation, she is in fact becoming more financially independent each and every month.

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 20:12

But yes robindeer, half the loan repayments until it's paid off shows a willingness to be in this together and he can pay for all the furnishings and upkeep. There's also a service charge, right?

robindeer · 21/03/2016 20:19

I don't mean that she's crippling herself financially, just that in order to save money she has to pay to live with her DP. Of course paying half of what you currently pay sounds great, but what is he doing with the money? If it's to repay his parents then yes absolutely, pay it. If it's just his then I don't think I'd feel comfortable giving up where I currently live to take the risk.

BYOSnowman · 21/03/2016 20:22

There is interest and capital on the loan - perhaps op could pay half the interest?

LionsLedge · 21/03/2016 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WeAllHaveWings · 21/03/2016 20:29

Can you afford to buy your own property? If yes, then do that and rent out to protect your own financial position.

If you cant afford to buy then moving in and paying 1/2 market value rent (and saving the other 1/2) is fair, until the relationship is more concrete.

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 20:29

Well I guess DP is putting the £200 towards the loan and the service charge. Might be a drop in the ocean. My sister lives in this ugly newbuild tower in London and the service charge she pays is what I pay on my mortgage on my one up one down.

wendyrotherham · 21/03/2016 20:36

The "I'm not saying I would like her to live there rent free" looks like backtracking to me compared to the original post.
When she said she was willing to share the food costs as if that was a point to show just how generous she was being, it rubbed me up the wrong way but maybe that's just the northerner in me!

BombadierFritz · 21/03/2016 20:54

If theres no spare room then he cant rent it out to anyone but op anyway (sorry to state obvious) so if she says no and doesnt move in, he has no option but to make do without her financial input. I dont know op, if things dont work out there is no spare room, immediate loss of roof over head, it doesnt sound great

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 20:57

Where does it say there is no spare room as I didn't see this and someone earlier also didnt see any mention of this??