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Original poster

Boyfriend charging me rent at a property he owns

255 replies

blueamanda · 20/03/2016 19:14

Hello everyone!

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My bf has recently bought a flat, 95% of the money came from his parents, he doesn't have a mortgage and he took out a loan to cover the rest. The idea was that we'd move in together, but we haven't exactly discussed the details until now.

I was more then happy to share the bills and food costs with him from the get go, however he now wants to charge me rent as well, which would be half of my current rent. He calls this a non-specific contribution to the flat, this is not going to be a landlord tenant agreement. All this would be outlined in a living together agreement and he also wants me to sign a waiver saying I will have no claim on the property.

This ordeal has left a bitter taste for me, since I'd be contributing financially to the flat that isn't mine and I don't have the same protection a tenant does. I'm in a far more vulnerable position.

I would love to hear some advice and perspectives from anyone in a similar situation.

Also does anyone know if my bf is charging me rent is he legally obligated to pay tax on it? Would I be better off pushing for a landlord tenant agreement? I won't be renting a room from him, but sharing the bedroom.

Many thanks!

OP posts:
FedUpWithJudgementalPeople · 20/03/2016 20:13

So are you paying towards the service charge and bills as well?

oneowlgirl · 20/03/2016 20:16

I know it's not very romantic but I think it's fair enough & best to be clear about these things up front - put the money you're saving into a separate account & you'll build up a nice amount for yourself.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 20/03/2016 20:17

If you pay towards cost of flat you could hain a stake in it. Of you pay rent you do not.

I think he is right to cover his back. Rs do break up and when he parents contributed to flat they were not expecting any of it to evebtually go to an ex.

My mum bought my flat and I paid her peppercorn rent to make it clear she still owned it
Also if he took out a loan he is paying out every month.

JeanGenie23 · 20/03/2016 20:17

I would feel a bit upset by this.

Yes you shouldn't live there for free, but you are not, you intend to split bills. Let me get this straight he gave you two options;

  1. You pay him half your current rent amount £200. On the surface this sounds like a good idea. However He has no mortgage so he would be effectively earning £200 extra a month than he is now. And if you had no ownership over property why would you do this?

2- You don't pay him rent but continue to put away £400 a month ( your current rent costs) and if you split up he wants half? What the Jeff for? That's a ridiculous suggestion and he deserves a slap for that!

Why don't you suggest that you will pay him £200 per month, or a lesser sum until the loan he took out to secure the remainder of the property is paid back. At which point you stop sending him money and neither of you then owe anything on the property. Or my other suggestion is don't move in with him. Stay in your own place, financially you are no worse or better off.

You are meant to be partners, yes Financial clarity amongst couples is a must but it's outrageous to not consider you both equal in this.

Teaandcakeat8 · 20/03/2016 20:18

When I did this with my ex-dp I just paid a lump sum to him monthly, we didn't attribute it to any particular expense. He kept the mortgage, bills etc in his name.

Could you do this instead? It 's less risky for him also as it's not like you are directly contributing to his mortgage (and therefore likely to stake a claim).

I really don't see the problem. I would rather do it that way then hand over half my savings if you broke up... My ex cheated on me and I would not have been willing to hand over any cash!

starry0ne · 20/03/2016 20:20

I think him protecting the flat is very sensible.. I don't really think you shouldn't contribute..

What do you suggest you live there rent free?

I do however wonder if all this scenario that seems to come up frequently on MN. is a symptom of people living together far too quickly before they are ready to be commited together.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/03/2016 20:20

financially you are no worse off but she is if she carries on renting her own place. By £200 per month.

capsium · 20/03/2016 20:20

Well, you could look at how the other domestic arrangements would go. If there is any uneven division of labour, in terms of domestic chores, you could demand he pays you as a housekeeper/cleaner/cook/decorator/odd job person etc etc.

Tbh paying might not leave you out of pocket. I'd probably do this short term but keep an eye on the power balance in your relationship with him.

Teaandcakeat8 · 20/03/2016 20:21

Sorry just remembered he doesn't have a mortgage.

But still he has the loan for the remainder of the property? And presumably he will be paying the majority of the upkeep costs, as the owner? Is he generally reasonable?

mamas12 · 20/03/2016 20:21

Agree with jean genie here
If you are intending to split bills 50/50 then the only other outstanding cost would be his loan, how much is that?
Doesn't sit right with me either the fact he wants his flat and your savings, what about his savings !!!

MrsSteptoe · 20/03/2016 20:22

I do think it's reasonable to expect the rent to be pretty damned favourable, given your gf status. But equally, it shouldn't be a token. Is it partly the amount he's asking for that you have issue with (rather than the principle)? If he's asking you for half market rent, do you feel that that is unreasonable? (These do feel like intrusive questions!)

Shutthatdoor · 20/03/2016 20:23

I don't know why you would expect to live there entirely free.

This.

You should split the utility bills anyway as you are both using them so that is a red herring.

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 20/03/2016 20:25

Doesn't sit right with me either the fact he wants his flat and your savings

I guess his thinking is because OP is saving a lot of money from not renting. Rightly or wrongly.

Not sure why you think he shouldn't have his flat.

LynetteScavo · 20/03/2016 20:27

Tell him to get lost.

When I met DH he asked me to move in with him...I hesitated, not because I was thinking if I could afford it...and he then jumped in to assure me I wouldn't have to contribute, he just wanted me around.
I don't think your BF actually wants to spend time with you or live with you, you are just convenient.

You either move in and save the money you aren't paying in rent towards a larger property for the two of you, or you spend the money on whatever you want....stuff his rent.

I would contribute to food and bills, though.

MrsSteptoe · 20/03/2016 20:29

Financial clarity amongst couples is a must but it's outrageous to not consider you both equal in this
But they aren't equal in this. They're a couple who don't yet live together (and we've no idea how long they've been together) and he's had a flat bought for him by his parents. She hasn't. So it's more a question of, if you're lucky enough to have parents rich enough to buy you a flat, should you pass on that good fortune by letting a gf live with you rent-free? That's a question I could perhaps agree with, but it does slightly depend on his income versus the size of the loan he's taken out for the last five per cent.
Or my other suggestion is don't move in with him. Stay in your own place, financially you are no worse or better off.
But she is. Her bf is (I think) asking for half what she's currently paying in rent. Though I'm not 100% certain if I've understood that correctly.

JeanGenie23 · 20/03/2016 20:29

I don't think the OP has ever said she expects to live for free (excuse me if I'm wrong in that)

The sticking point for me is that he has no mortgage to pay on this, so the £200 he is asking her for is extra income? (Assuming you split all bills and maintenance)

I think agree to pay back his loan and then after that don't pay anything. If you split up then of course you walk away not having ownership over property, that's why you should take this opportunity to save and hopefully things work out for the two of you and you buy together

NoOneIsInterested · 20/03/2016 20:31

Might his parents of suggested that he ask you to pay rent? I'd suggest it to my DC if they were in his position as I think it's a good idea. I think the fact he is only 'charging' you a modestt amount is something you should be pleased about not irritated by.

I think you are wrong to look at it from the point of view of how much his flat costs him. If it's a two bedroom flat you could argue that your presence is costing him as if you weren't there then he could rent out his spare room. I think a middle ground of charging you half the rent is good.

VelvetCushion · 20/03/2016 20:33

I think you should pay half towards utility bills, council tax and food. Thats it in my opinion.

I Agree you should have no claim on his flat should you split. But you know that anyway. In the meantime save some money for YOURSELF as a back up should it all go Pete Tong
I dont like the sound of him, especially him suggesting he gets half the savings if you split. No fucking way. Stick to your guns.

LazyDaysAndTuesdays · 20/03/2016 20:34

or you spend the money on whatever you want....stuff his rent.

In that case if they were to sell his property and buy somewhere together later as OP suggests if I was her DP I'd want something in writing legally about exactly how much of the % of the cost I'd contributed

JeanGenie23 · 20/03/2016 20:35

MrsSteptoe- "But they aren't equal in this. They're a couple who don't yet live together (and we've no idea how long they've been together) and he's had a flat bought for him by his parents. She hasn't."

Yes that's true, but they are in a relationship, it isn't reasonable to suggest that she pays more than he does to live in the flat. (Yes This is an assumption I don't know if his parents have asked for money back )

I

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 20/03/2016 20:35

The sticking point for me is that he has no mortgage to pay on this

Yes he does. He doesn't own the whole place.

MrsSteptoe · 20/03/2016 20:36

No, OP's been very clear she doesn't expect to live rent free. But I think there are emotional questions over how the money she contributes is used. If she contributes to his loan and pays half the S/C and bills, that could well be half her current rent, which I think is what the BF is asking for as a kind of heavily discounted market rent on the basis of her status as his GF, in which case all this debate is pointless because it's the same amount of money either way.

But because property is so enmeshed in investment now, OP's understandably feeling vulnerable and concerned not to be exploited. Which I totally understand. It's a messy one.

PennyHasNoSurname · 20/03/2016 20:37

I think you should tot up the repayment on the flat, the bills and then each pay half.

iminshock · 20/03/2016 20:37

Sounds pretty fair to me.

JeanGenie23 · 20/03/2016 20:37

Don't care- oh I beg your pardon I thought op said no mortgage. Just a small loan to cover the difference? I did suggest OP contribute to the cost of repaying this

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