Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

No point beating yourself up coo.
What's done is done.
It's not our mistakes that define us, it's how we react to those mistakes.

It's not our mistakes that define us, it's how we react to those mistakes.

Utterly true.
Yesterday is as past as the Crimean War.

You were both young and silly.
Now you are both older and wiser.
As you mature together, your parents will become prouder and prouder.

lazycoo, please don't beat yourself up. Ive just started to see the light myself. Get advice from everyone on here. Do a budget, prioritise your debts, ring your utlity companies, talk to your bank and try to start chipping away at your monthly outgoings. I am determined to be in control. This thread really is useful to me. Also totes helpful are the money advice service and Stepchange.

Coo...I saw this and thought of you so I'm re posting it here for anyone who is feeling low.

if t hings seem pretty bad at the moment, here are three reasons to be cheerful:
Don't panic! Newgate, the Victorian debtors' gaol, was closed about 100 years ago. You can't go to prison for being in debt (with one exception Crown debts but we needn't go into this here).

Take control of the situation. OK, you've got yourself into a bit of debt, but it's not the end of the world. You're not the only one and you're not a leper! You've just miscalculated, that's all. The minute that you start taking responsibility again, you will start feeling better. Honest!

If seriously in debt, then contact your creditors before they contact you. Believe it or not, they do not want to take court action unless it is absolutely necessary. But the problems will not only not go away if you ignore them -- they will most definitely get worse. Nothing annoys a creditor more than someone ducking and diving. If you know that you are getting into difficulties, talk to your creditors.

X

Thank you!

I don't think there's much more I can do to eke out our income to pay off creditors faster. All bills are actively monitored, utility switches made, fripperies long gone. We have v little money to spend as we please - £30 a month pocket money covers the odd lunch but I live on homemade soup made with the fabled MN carcass so the £30 is spent on chocolate and wine. I cook from scratch most of the time and food is only bought out of Aldi.

DH has just been made redundant and wants to set up on his own. My plan of paying off the debt at £1k a month for the next few years may no longer be possible. I have no idea right now what self-employed might earn him and so I am panicking as this is outwith my control. I might have to renegotiate with creditors. I can't go bankrupt - I would need to tell work as I would lose my professional licence. I wouldn't lose my job but I'd be utterly ashamed to let them know. Plus it is truly a last resort.

What I can, and will, do in the next while is rearrange my repayments so I'm paying the most expensive creditor first. At present we are spreading that grand around fairly evenly. All CCs are on 0%, two loans are at 5% and the overdraft is about 10%. Most is going to capital thankfully. But I can do more.

Still feeling like a complete arse. I was all proud of myself for tackling the debt and neatly forgot to consider just how badly I've fucked things up.

You are not an arse. You were an arse. But now you are not.
Be proud of that and think positive : as out of positive thoughts opportunities come.

Any Y Y Y to prioritising the debt as the less you give in interest to banks, the more you have for you.

Hi, can I ask some questions please?

I've got £5k of debt and although I eventually pay, I'm always late. I went through my shredding and majority was reminders threatening all sorts.

I can't cope anymore and I'm due to have a major op in a few weeks so want to get this sorted.

Stepchange have said they can help, but I'm told the bank will close my account because of my £500 overdraft.

Is this always true? How easy will it be to open another account? I've got a bills account which has the overdraft and a spends account which doesn't. But they are both with Lloyds so will they close both?

I'm not bothered about a debit card on bills account, but would need one for my spends account.

Any advice would be great thanks.

Hi there Ilovewelsh
you have 5k of debt : what sort of debt
what is your income?
is there a way to reset your timings to get it to work for you.

Opening new accounts at the moment is an utter bastard : esp if you have debt

feel free to PM me the exact amounts and I'll put an anonymised useful answer on the thread

Hi, there is £3700 on a credit card, £300 Next account and rest on a catalogue.

I've tried to reset timings and it's just not working. I earn £11k and get tax credits etc

To be honest I've been sh** with money since I first started earning and I'm in my 40's now.

I really need help budgeting etc. how can a grown woman not be able to do this

I'm always late with council tax to and often have DD returned.

OK
the two cards : switch them to standing orders today.
Council tax : can you get them to move it back by 5 days to balance your cashflow

and download the budget sheet and work out where your money goes
there is not much of it so you will have little leeway, but there are ways and means to live frugally (adblockers help!!)

It's not forgetting to pay them that's the problem, it's because my money comes in at different times of the month.

At the time the bills are due theo money isn't there. I currently live off £100 tax/working credits which go in my spends account. But I still can't manage the other account properly, I just don't know what to do for the best.

Ilove
TBH its a PITS for the recipients to deal with bounced payments.
If you do a proper budget and show that you can afford the payment but three days later, they should be able to change the collection dates to get everything into kilter IYSWIM

eg my water bill used to be paid on the 7th : I had it moved to the 12th to fit around other things - water company were happy as it always cleared on the 12th

Hello, please can i join? I have lurked on past threads but have never said anything! This will be to date the only place that i have admitted how much debt i am in.

I joined step change about 2 years ago with 23,000 pounds owing in loans, payday loans, overdrafts, credit cards and store cards, this was when i was 25, i honestly don't know what i was thinking but I also had a serious eating disorder that i needed to feed and also suffered with depression and anxiety, i'd spend my paycheque on mostly food and then have to supplement it with loans and credit cards and it just completely spiralled. I was living beyond my means and buying new phones and laptops and clothes and just being ridiculous. I then lost my job and couldn't make payments for about 5 months, cue the demands and phone calls.

Luckily i was able to get a job and joining step change was such a revelation for me, it let me feel like i could breathe again especially as my family didn't know or my boyfriend. To date i've paid nearly 11,000 off and soon i'm going to be in a position where i can make bigger payments or potentially deal with the creditors myself!

Hi Emz
Welcome to the gang, pull up a chair, make yourself at home.
You have done really well to have already paid off that amount.
Be proud of yourself.
And it sounds like you have analysed what went into getting you there so should be able to avoid repetition.
Keep stepchange on board for as long as you can : if nothing else to stop the creditors playing silly beggars.

Silly thing : have you sold a load of the stuff you do not need

• partly to raise cash

but also to declutter, physically and mentally?

Ffs. Pay has gone in but looks like a decimal place is wrong. It's 10% of what it should be. I'm so bloody tired of payroll crap. I guess it may have resolved by tomorrow (actual payday). Does that ever happen??

((((Alterego))))
Is this a new job?
Have they cocked up your coding?
Does the transfer agree to your payslip?
If not, get them to FPS the money across to you today (they will say they cannot but that is bollocks)

Well after many annoying phone calls I got to the bottom of it. The pay I have is actually a tax rebate. I haven't seen my payslip yet so couldn't have known that's what it was.

There's no sign of my time sheet. They can't do anything until they see the signed timesheet.

I've emailed all the relevant people. Grrrr.

But I have to remind myself that the tax rebate is bonus money, and that I will get paid. So by this time next week I'll be better off than I should have been.

It's a temporary contract so this won't happen again (different supplier now). Thank goodness.

Phew.
Well worth checking : its scary when that happens
Odd that they did not just lump it into your payslip.

But payroll said they had no evidence of me having worked (without a timesheet). The fault lies with whoever took it from me after being signed by my manager.

double triple check your payslips and bank transfers for the next few months : sounds like there are some muppets in your payroll department

marking place

I applied for a secured loan to pay if 10k dept through a broker, we are due to complete Monday but have changed our minds as my parents have said they will pay off half the debt, we can manage the rest. Does anyone know anything about willow finance as I'm not sure if I will get charged to cancel at this late stage? Thanks

What does the paperwork say?

It did say that we should pay an admin fee of £200 but the original email that I still have states that if we do not complete, for whatever reason then we do not pay anything. Bit confusing but they haven't contacted me since I sent them an email saying that I no longer wish to go ahead so I am assuming this is the end of it.

the fees are normally added to the loan so yes, you may be in the clear :-)