Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Notso....I can relate.
I have an amazon wish list as long as my arm! I keep looking at it and planning what I'm going to buy next :)

I need to join this.

I have about £12k on a credit card which used to have a low interest rate but is now over 20% and costs £230pcm minimum payment.

I don't know how banks are allowed to keep increasing the interest rates so much for no reason.

I also still have what was my Uni overdraft-£2600. I pay £30pcm for that.

Car loan is £150pcm which I know is a rip off compared to buying it in cash but I didn't have £6k to spare! My last car was an 'old banger' but it still cost £100 PCM and was a lot more in petrol.

I'm not in arrears with anything. No debt letters etc.

But by the end of the year we just won't have anything left.

We are overspending by hundreds a month and just can't seem to stop. Money just keeps getting spent.

We have cut our food bill but I need to find a way of cutting everything else too.

I know we are spending beyond our means but we aren't leading a luxuary lifestyle eg no holidays for years, no haircuts for years, clothes are full of holes.

We don't have expensive habits like drinking, smoking, gambling.

I think we're in denial somewhere.

Lightbulbon This thread Monthly Frugaleers Thread might help with cutting other expenses

I haven't read all this thread yet but I'm going to today.

I started tackling my debt on my return to work after mat leave May 15 and have cleared ??5550 from ??12768 debt in that time and plan to have another ??2k cleared by the end of this year.

Thanks lilac

I get paid weekly so am slow to set up a standing order in case I don't have the money that week and it ends up costing me 5Euro for going overdrawn. Must get more rigid with putting the money into a temporary savings account weekly so that I can make the payment every month. I aim every month to pay the minimum payment plus the interest charge for that month and round up. This isn't enough I guess to make any great change.

Lightbulb
The standing order method for credit cards will definitely help you.
As will the frugaleers thread
As will downloading the budget sheet and seeing where your money goes across the year

One important mindset is that new is not necessarily better : good quality second hand will last you better than cheap new.

Lilac
You may be somebody who benefits from the "envelopes" method - if you look on the older threads, Nerf made it work really well for her.

I've been using ynab principles/envelope system via a spreadsheet and various accounts, now have ynab in place so plan on using that.

Thanks Talk

I'm just marking my place again. I'm just logging on to YNAB now.

I'm planning to do some extra shifts at work to pay for xmas.

If there are any lurkers wandering over from the two threads on Chat, pull up a chair and join in.
You are very welcome and this board is a very quiet non judgey corner of MN.

lilac, could you do the standing order method with weekly standing orders?

I've been lurking here and the other threads in chat for a while. We are struggling to get by each month. It's very frustrating and exhausting because on paper we should be OK. Not great but not lurching from paycheck to paycheck as we are now.

We've been winging it for a while now. DP lost his job in Dec 2013 and hasn't been able to get full time employment in his field since. He did a bit of self employed building work last year but he is now settled in to working for an agency on an ongoing contract with a big retailer. Plus other odd days at different places. He has had work at least 4 days/week for the last 2 months. Anyway, this thread has inspired me to take control!

I think the problem we have is that I am paid monthly. DP is paid weekly. So over the period of an entire month the money is there. But we just seem to be playing catch up all the time.

I wondered if someone could cast an impartial eye over my plan and see if seems ok. Or whether I've missed something glaringly obvious!

My wages cover all our non negotiable bills, utilities, insurances, c tax etc. And our rent. Just about. The problem I'm finding is that as soon as there is anything else thrown in eg new school uniform, a birthday, car repair we are short of money before we've even got past the first of the month. We then spend the rest of the month hanging on for DP's wages to be paid each week and they are swallowed up straight away by Direct Debits etc coming out.

I was thinking of asking if we could pay our rent weekly (council property). Then use DP's weekly wages to pay this and our food bill. Realistically our food bill is the only thing that can be adjusted to suit what we have.

Doing this would mean a great chunk (approx half) of my wages wouldn't be coming out at the start of the month. There would be money there for unforseen or irregular expenses. And I wouldn't have to live in fear of the fridge or car breaking down.

Does this seems OK?

Ooh. That is a long post . Sorry!

Hi Herman
Welcome to the gang - I saw your post come up earlier but did not have have time then to sit down and write a reply.
First off, you need to download the budget spreadsheet (its on the same thread) and look at the list of quarterly and annual expenses.
It may be worth you using the YNAB "envelopes" method - to actually allocate cash to items each week so that you can smooth your cashflow.

Paying rent weekly is tricky as landlords will want it up front rather than in arrears, but there is no harm in asking.

Thank you Ta1k. I've already downloaded the budget spreadsheets. I had a look YNAB but it looked like you had to pay for it? Can you point me in the direction of some info on the 'envelopes' method.

We live in a Council property. I'm pretty sure that they would accept weekly rent payments. I'm going to speak to them next week and try to set it up for next month. And set up a standing order for my CC payment.

We are going to have to muddle through until the end of the month as yet again we are playing catch up and we're desperate for DP's wages tomorrow. Literally nothing in the bank. I had to take out a pay day loan on Monday for £50 just to pay a couple of DD's that came out this week. It's ridiculous because we will pay it back tomorrow. It's this constant chasing our tails that I'm finding exhausting .

Hmmm, payday loans are a bad thing.
Can you look at the DD agreements and get them moved to the other side of payday : to assist your cashflow?

I know they are. I was loathed to do it but we have had so much additional expense at the beginning of the month - new school uniform, sports kit, scouts subs and clothes/shoes for DS for an unavoidable family wedding. This sort of thing really throws us out as we do have the money coming in over the entire month. Just not right at the start. I end up having to pay for small amounts on my CC that I shouldn't have to. I thought if we start paying our rent weekly this will leave this chunk of money sat in my account to stop this.

Most of our DD's come out around the first of the month. There are a few that come out over the rest of the month. I get paid on the last bank day of the month. DP gets paid every Friday.

Credit cards are much better than payday loans.

If you have to put all shopping on the credit card and then pay it off in full each month then you are managing your cashflow for free and effectively

my credit card bill is several thousand pounds every month and I pay no interest at all

Hmmm. That's interesting. I never thought of that. I would need to be VERY strict with that though. I need to get the outstanding balance down on my CC first.

Some good news today though - I've found out I can do some extra work over the next few weeks that will earn enough to pay for Christmas. Hopefully with some leftover. We are also waiting for our Tax Credit claim to be processed (which we will lose in April 2016 ) but that should give us a small lump sum in back pay and a bit extra over the next few months. So we can concentrate on getting our regular monthly budget on track.

Heman I feel exactly the same way re lurching between pay days.

DH is paid on the 15th and we get some money again around the 1st. I'm never sure exactly how much we will get on the first.

the money DH is paid on the 15th covers all non negotiable bills. The money on the 1st covers food, 1 credit card bill and unexpected expenses. The good news is that in 3 months I will have paid out 1 credit card entirely.

Looks like I am going to need some ££££ dental work :( I'm really angry. This tooth has had a failed filling and failed root canal which cost £££
I just cant seem to catch a break atm :(

Welcome lazy.
Well done for paying off so much of your debt already.
Wrt your parents and the money...I would take them at their word Tbh. My lovely late dad paid for our new conservatory roof. It took me a long time to accept he was glad to do it.
And yes....is scarily easy :(

Lazycoo
Welcome to the gang.
Yup, you got yourself into rather a pickle there, but using YNAB you now have your spending back within your means - well done.

You need to prioritise your debts.
TBH the one to your parents comes last. I'll explain in a minute.

Top priority is highest interest rate.
Throw money at each one in turn.
Set each of them onto the Standing Order trick if they are variable.
Anything on fixed repayments leave be.
But you need to triage each month where the debt repayment will have the most impact on reducing your interest bill.

Which brings me to your parents.
I suspect it caused them a great deal of pain and anger to watch you spending your life away
but they were able to help in the hopes that you would see the light.
You have seen the light.

Pay down all of the other debts, then when they are gone, throw ALL of the money into Premium bonds until the day you are able to write a cheque for the full amount to your parents.
I can 100% guarantee that they will not cash it
but that day will be the one where they know they have done their job as parents.
You'll need a NICE bottle of champagne to share with them

Thank you badders and tip.

My parents must be furious with me and worried that I've married someone equally as irresponsible with money. They've never earned like I earn. I have spent the first third of my working life away.

What have I done.

15 months into frugal living and I am still nowhere near the end of this journey. I've been so bloody selfish.