Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Maths is what we need.

How much extra will you pay in interest if you increase the mortgage?.

Moneysavingexpert does some brilliant mortgage comparison tools.

Yah 🙄I am fed up - we earn a "lot" and have no spare cash. House is run down. I have to think twice about a new can-opener. It's all great training but I really worry about the effects on my kids. I reckon they'll either be brilliant with money or mad gamblers due to being so aware of every penny at a young age 😬And the meaning of value, and choices etc. It feels like everyone else are enjoying their salaries and we are being so frugal as to feel our primes pass by. I walk down the street feeling like I'm dressed like a tramp. 20 years ago on "no" money I spent way more on the high street. It's a bit depressing. Not sure I can take 2 more years (after at least 5). What harm if we remortgaged ?! Stretching a 20k loan from 2y to 15 ?? Is that what will happen really ? My gut says don't do it BUT we didn't do it before the last crash & I regretted it for 9 years...

Bottom line is we will pay way more by rolling loans into mortgage. But we will have free(d up) cash flow now. Lots of ppl have 30 year mortgages !! I plan to be mortgage free in less than 10 years even tho want to take out 15 yr mortgage.

What are DH and the family saying to the notion?

Have yet to discuss properly 😬

I just lost a draft post while I was making a cuppa. I'm trying hard not to take that as an omen.

Will start rewriting shortly.

OK. I appreciate just where you're coming from. My every instinct tells me to pay off the debts first because I'm not really convinced that you'll have bargained for the impact of a full 15 years of increased mortgage. (And 10 of those years would be at the mercy of market forces.)

On the other hand, your family - and you - have been real troupers because 5 -7 years of seriously stringent economy is a very difficult thing indeed. You also said something which always gets to me - 'house maintenance'. I've always regarded genuine house maintenance as a critical expenditure. (This is real house maintenance and not upgrades to 'look nice'. In my own home, for example, there are many things which look old- but very little now that isn't modern, safe and efficient underneath it all. It's almost reached the point where it's gone from being 'old fashioned' to being 'period'. )

I think you really have to talk it through with them, quickly perhaps but certainly properly. Is there any room for a middle ground on this? I.e. Borrowing enough to do the things which absolutely have to be done but not going for a 'belt-loosening splurge'? How much do you really think your attitudes to expenditure have been altered?

Well all good advice - again we never overspent as such, I had a break in employment so it was funded through loans. That said there is definitely a case for basic home maintenance but not to the extent that we need to remortgage. So we'll plough instead !! DH agrees no need for bigger mortgage. 2 more years of relative austerity left. 🙄

Long term though you'll be thousands of pounds better off. And hopefully mortgage free earlier.

Must not give in to temptation 🙂See when I started this debt journey it was survival mode is try to pay off enough so as to consolidate into the mortgage. Now that I'm here I don't want to !! It's really true about the snowball method. Last year I only paid & closed one account. This year I managed 2-3 & finally got old loans cleared off to clean/repair credit. It's amazing what you can do (without) in a month just to make a double/treble final payment !!

When I tried to get a consolidation loan about 10 years ago they would lend but at 20%.

The woman at the bank said their research/experience showed that people took the spare income and spent it rather than changing spending habits and avoiding further debt.

Anyway, I saved up and snowballed and paid it all off. I would have got there quicker if I had the mumsnet frugal threads.

The next two years will fly past.

Thanks fluffy. Does anyone know is the mumsnet secret Santa happening this year ? I might donate 😬

There's a thread in Site Stuff. Rebecca has said they're to propose something else instead and they're going to get back to us on it.

Oh - and you've done so well to clear those old accounts.

Cool. Thanks cozie. Bloody hard at times but I am now the master of putting up with things until payday/we can afford it/forever 🙂

It won't be forever though, will it? Just think of the time when you'll be able to sleep easy without musing about rumbling noises in family machinery. It will come.

Afternoon! How is everyone?! Granted I'm only a couple of weeks in but all good so far...sticking to budgets I've set myself and currently on track to pay first debt in full (OD) by March 2017, 6 months from now. Fingers crossed it's a painless slog!

I'm an excel spreadsheet kinda girl...I swear I've sat looking at it for nearly an hour in the hope that there is a better/quicker way to get out of the mire...alas, no

Even if it's (relatively) painless it can surely be boring or dispiriting at times. Come here to cheer yourself up.

Hello everyone
Well things here plodding along
Most Xmas stuff done - some good deals got
We now have £1k in savings now as per Dave Ramsey
We have finished decorating thank god
Uk holiday booked for next summer with only a £75 deposit
Dh is away a lot ATM which sucks and I'm considering giving up my little job- I'm really run down again and tbh I'm wondering if it's worth It for the wages iyswim?
Supposedly he should be getting a bonus in 2018 I won't hold my breath
It's a nofunvember for me next month - spent far too much this month as it was my b day
Hope everyone is ok x

Hi all good here - still hammering some immediate debts with close deadlines hence still not made great progress on the DR 1k. Got to 300 had to use 170 which at least we had it there (for a change !)... Now planning for Xmas begins - I gave savings of about 1400 for that (yes skewed priorities !!) so we will plan out what is required & then see if I can use the rest to pay more down. I had borrowed 1k from family member to enable the consolidation of the last loans to credit union (they wanted 1k shares to do it which is of course understandable but as is the nature of debt put us under more pressure). I've paid off 300 of this so 700 to go !! I want to pay it asap for obvious reasons so will be able to pay another 400 beg Dec. This time next year we'll be in a better position - it's all progress !!!

All sounds very positive

Indeed it does. Imagine if you hadn't had that £170 ?

Yes - however hoping nothing above 200 goes wrong for a couple of months !!

Eh up, glad to know folks are hanging on in there.

I'm getting used to only having three of us at home, but then DD has managed to smash her phone
so that is the Christmas list sorted

My DBro was talking last night about how he'd managed to acquire a new bank account which - while levying a monthly charge (as many now do) also threw in additional interest plus some very useful insurances. And that - knackered devices - was one of them. Time for some research, TIP?