Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Welcome April.

And don't despair - if you look up thread, you'll see that people have recovered from very bad situations indeed, difficult though it was. Facing up to things is a major step. Huge step.

Badders- was the ctf easy to change my DD has one with approx £700 in its a NatWest share one I think. Never really looked into this but was surprised at the low amount when statement came yeserday. Dd is 13 so think I should change it.

It was sooooo easy!
I went with nationwide as MSE said they were the highest interest rate
I went on their website and requested the application forms
All in all it took about 30 days
Nationwide took care of it all
I didn't have to contact the ctf provider at all

tip I know but I made the decision at the time just to get one to 1) freeze bread - was fed up buying bread ev 2 days (both working v annoying logistically and prob cost money going to shop) 2) DH makes batches of good qual pasta sauce which saves us loads (veg & ragu) 3) freezing meat on offer worth its weight in gold. Possibly if I truly compared costs it would break even but got us into routine which will last for life !

Thanks Badders- I will do it I think it will be better then the NatWest share one she has.

Lea well drop everything to either pay for repairs or get a new or 2hd hand one. If you have family to help you ask for that help !

April - look up Dave Ramsey & suze Orman - you have to say no to kids looking for money esp grown up kids.

Hi April, welcome.
First off, you and your ex need to sit down and work out what you each owe. Every scary last penny.
Then inform your kids that they are about to learn a lesson in budgeting and both turn off the money tap completely.
Once you are both out of debt
And on condition they are not in it, the relationship will rebuild in an adult manner.

I think I was on the previous thread around a year to 18 months ago. Positive story here, my dp was terrible with money but has finally got on board with budgeting.

We have cleared the overdraft (£700)
Paid off very except a buy now pay later which should be finished in Dec (was bunk beds and I am paying a set amount every month so I don't incur the interest)
Credit card one is nearly clear (£100ish left)
Credit card 2 I have a direct debit set up and should be cleared by 2018 if we continue these payments, sooner if we throw more money at it which I'm hoping to do.

We are going on our first family holiday (only a sun holidays one) all together which I didn't ever see us being able to do.

My method has been a notepad with every payment and date and how much should be in the account on each day. I then tick everything off, any extra goes into savings. That's how we paid for holiday and all the uniform for school (still have £800 saved so will go towards summer hols, christmas) it's been tight but we haven't gone without, however no more lunches out/takeaways or random trips to the shops. If it isn't needed we don't buy.

My point is that even when it looks like there's no end in sight and you feel alone without support things can turn around. A year ago I never thought I would be in this position. :)

Very well done, no cuts.

Do you think that some of the changes are likely to stick when you're finally clear?

Cozie I hope so, my mind set has changed. If I'm tempted by a takeaway or similar I start to think of what else that money could buy... £20 takeaway was my daughters new school coat or could be taking the girls to soft play for the day. Even down to a cup of tea out is bus fare or one ticket to kids cinema!

The plan is to continue to pay into savings what we are paying out on debt each month. I want to take the girls to disney, that is my current end goal! So a good incentive to pay all off and a reward for all the frugalness!

Well done!

Fantastic result nocuts
and your kids will have learned it by osmosis so hopefully will never have the problem

Well done ! I've been looking at my debt sheet today - I have a nice couple of graphs linking to it so I can see the debts demise. I'm still so annoyed with myself for getting into this. By the time I tried to get out (2010) and consolidate the credit crunch had really hit. The last 6 years have been awful ! Creditors only stopped ringing in 2014 when I finally got a handle on most things. But it only really started to steady properly this year. Still not out of the woods (no reserve savings & credit still bad) but maybe just maybe I can consolidate
I'm never going to let my kids ever take out a loan !! I've been at that since my first job. 😕

You're getting there, though.

Feels slow !

Actually need some advice - might be able to consolidate 2 loans (and clear credit record to zero now) 13k will cost 9%apr - could pay over 2 years. However if I keep paying in (not being charged interest) at same rate will have it paid in 21 months no interest.
Advantages - pay sooner, clean record (from now), potential remortgage sooner (fund extension / improvements)
Disadvantages- hassle & cost. Also some talk of paying off bad loans in tranches of 2-3 (not sure what the point of that is !) so similar effect to still having bad record. But then I can't take risk of another credit crunch in a few years !

You need TIP on that one, I reckon. But good luck whatever you decide to do.

Tip ? Oh great one 😀You are probably the biggest influence in my paying off 35% of my debt in 2 years !

She certainly knows her stuff!

But I think that you and your family deserve credit as well? If only for the effort you've put in and the strength you've shown.

Thanks it has been really tough at times ! Hugely in the swing now as I can finally see light (distant). It seems worth it to be frugal - that's so difficult in the beginning.

Very difficult indeed. By the end, though, you might well end up with a different mindset. Find it difficult to spend money even. ('I wish' says Tobe. )

Hopefully, the DC will keep you grounded although after this, you're unlikely to be profligate, I reckon.

Honestly I've no problem not spending money I haven't in years 😳 I was never a clothes buyer etc the cause was being off work for 2-3 years having babies etc & I was the main earner so we ended up with loans. Hence my debt is the equivalent to 2-3 years full salary. The fact that I never saved a cent my whole life before that is beside the point ! And still haven't - major problem. 🤐

You're getting there, though. It's just a grind at the moment.

)))))))))) Consolidation loans (((((((((((
nasty smelly things

why would you swap 0% interest for 9%
if you can afford any more, throw and extra £5 a week at the cards and clear them a few months quicker.

Savings come later
get your spending within your means
pay down your debts
when the debts are paid, throw that cashflow into savings
bingo

....nasty smelly things....