Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Petal...go to your my mumsnet page and go to your settings
Have spent £10 in aldi on new inform for ds2
amazed what I got for £10 but will see what the quality is like next term...
It's just 3 of us for chips (ds2 doesn't eat them...I know....I know....:))
I just have chips and curry sauce yum yum
Ds2s school disco tonight I forgot about...£2 more to find.
Gah!
In the interests of full disclosure (and It helps me to write it down iyswim?) I have also spent £120 in the next sale.
Pe joggers for both DC
Loads of stuff for ds1 - he is growing sooooo quickly!
Stuff for ds2
New shower curtain
And even some stuff for me!
I think some of it will go back tbh...but big savings made which is good.

God yes
150 kids hopped up on juice and sweets and popcorn and twerking like little demons

Oops sorry wrong thread!!!!!😖

On way to a 5km race - hopefully nit free 😂

Petal
Welcome aboard.
At the moment this thread is appearing in Active but it does not normally so you can relaxedly unwind and clear your head about all the financial stuff that you cannot say in real life.

Can't be bothered name changing.brain won't think of a name..so hi all..going to start at page one and read through to get some idea of how to stop a run away train....and how you change perceptions of giving when dc are used to a generous Santa ....

How old (roughly) are they?

I'm just thinking that my memories of Xmas from childhood are all about lights and colour and doing different things. Is there any chance that you could substitute events and activities for 'stuff'?

(They're not to know that the activities would be free or cheap - and if they have good fun, they'll have plenty to tell their friends about back at school.)

You will find some great advice on here petal

Welcome to the thread (realised I didn't say that before!)
Some posters have paid off massive debts successfully
Some, like me, are still trying
I know what you mean re Xmas BUT Xmas is about so much more than gifts
Maybe make some new low cost traditions this year?
The Xmas topic is a good source of ideas.

You're right, Badders.

Maybe even starting a thread on inexpensive Xmases would be a great help to many readers? There must be loads of users who are feeling a little quiver at the thought of Christmas £££.

Hi everyone, is it okay if I join?

Hello Lucy!
Pull up a metaphorical chair!

I think that might be an idea cozie...it's always a time I get anxious about
We don't buy for adults on my side but dhs family simply refuse to even consider it
I plan to start saving from next month for Xmas

Christmas is never too expensive for us, we only buy the children, 4 nieces and 1 nephew all get one gift costing 10 each, then we spend 50 each on both DDs (18months/2 weeks!) and always have dinner at MILs so our xmas bill is very small thank the lord!
I hope no one minds if I list what debts we have, it helps me to get things down:
1350 on credit card
2100 on catalogue
550 overdraft
Overpaying credit card and catalogue each month, not by much but atleast its gradually making a difference.
Overdraft is always paid off when our wages hit the account so no fees from bank
We did have 1250 rent arrears but I cleared those last week hooray!!
I also got 50 from my mum for passing some exams so that'll go straight towards paying the credit card off

The best thing we did for Santa was to buy Hawkins Bazaar pre packed stockings and not look - exciting for us as well and then Santa left one list item. So not really really cheap but it did bring the cost down and it was fun as we didnt know what was in them.

I've started buying sweets and stuff when cheap now, crackers in BHS at the moment, and I buy Xmas gifts when I see them. I also save all my tesco points in the Xmas saver club.

Kids are so overwhelmed by Christmas when they are small that so long as you get them one good thing that will entertain term for days, little else matters.

When mine were small and I was very broke I bought two bedside tables at the household recycling centre and slowly painted them up to make a play kitchen.
they were the best ever present for years and years.

One year we splashed out and bought bikes
FAIL
it was to cold to use them for a couple of months

also, the sooner you are honest with your kids about what can and cannot be afforded, the easier it gets.

OUr xbox came from a pawnbroker - it was a month old but half price.
we then spent £100 on second hand games and did not see DS for months.

Oohhhh second hand games - that's s good idea!

Check out my new blinds!!!
And the conservatory is noticeably cooler this morning! Yay!

Cozietosie I would love to join a xmas thread if you're starting one !

After a few years of squeezing Santa presents out of the grocery budget when the kids were small I really try to be on top of it now.

There are several cousins to buy for so I'm going to come up with a plan now & start getting stuff asap. Dh's side sensibly do KK for adults but my side aren't that keen on it so that's expensive 🙄 Better start that now too !

Santa is covered thru priority savings starting this month- plan to withdraw early November in time for Black Friday which I missed last year !

Gosh - why don't you start one, Tobe? You just need to do an OP more or less on 'Any ideas for economising at Xmas but still having a great time etc etc? ' Maybe add a little bit about your circumstances - in a non-specific sort of way if you're more comfortable with that. )

I'll try from my phone !

Done !! Feeling a bit half hearted this morning 😃

It has the inspiring title of Frugxmas 16 if anyone wants to join I can't effectively link threads on my phone...

I'm not seeing it yet. (Is it on the Christmas board?)

Maybe put a link in this thread when you can access a device which isn't going to have hysterics at the notion?

Ah - it's on this board.

I only use my phone cozie for stuff like this !

Hi!
Just looking for some advice please.
I've never been in a lot of debt like I am now and I'm getting really stressed about it all. For years I had a £200 overdraft facility and managed to stay within it fine until this last year when everything has skyrocketed out of control.
I now have an overdraft of £1400 of which I am into it £1100ish. This is by far my biggest debt but I also have £565 on a tesco bank credit card and over £700 on a very account. I am struggling to pay even the minimum amounts on these which is probably the reason why my overdraft is looking so bad.
I work part time and claim wtc & ctc as well as CB and child maintenance off my ex which is £10 a week. On paper I should have enough money to cover all my bills but I don't for some reason. My partner pays for the food shopping and I will just buy about £10 worth of top up shopping if and when we need it.
If my debts weren't bad enough, my daughter really needs some new clothes, my fridge freezer is playing up and my kitten needs to have her injections/microchip/spaying. Plus I've just had a letter from housing benefit to say they've made an overpayment despite me giving them all the information when I started working; the guy on the phone even said it was their error, but now I have to pay it all back in the form of reduced payments of HB. I'm going to try appeal it but not holding out much hope.
It's all a mess and I can't see a way out of anything. My pt job will end in November too as its seasonal which means I will have to go back onto benefits until the season starts up again, unless of course I can find another job to carry me through the winter months. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Sorry it's so long!!