Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

I don't understand..

Look at your borrowing ....
use the spreadsheets to minimise the "cost to clear"
it will click
and its magic when it does

Ah ok thank you

reader
Do not expect this to be a quick process
2-3 years to take control is sane
but once you can see the goal it gets easier

Thank so much, that is incredibly helpful.

Hi

I'm just after a bit of support really. I'm a long time poster but I've changed my name for this as I'm embarrassed I've let myself get into this situation again. I've got myself into a bit of a mess and don't know quite how to get myself out of it. I was on maternity leave last year and managed to max out two credit cards in that time. I have gone back to work part time but the money coming in simply doesn't cover the money going out. Once I have paid nursery fees and my (very small) portion of our household bills, I am left with very little disposable income from which I have to run a car, clothe a toddler and, of course, try and make the minimum payments. I took a small loan out (£1000) last month to try and help a little bit as last month was particularly expensive with car tax and insurance due but it was gone in a matter of days. If I could work more, I would, but it wouldn't cover the childcare costs.

I think my only solution is debt consolidation. If I can freeze the interest on my cards and loan and make one repayment a month, I think it will help.

Has anyone got any experience of this and any advice on companies to look at or particularly avoid? Can I specify how much I can pay a month regardless of what the expected minimum payments are?

Just for info, I live with my partner and he pays over 3/4 of our household bills as well as pays for most of our food. He doesn't know about any of this.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

mrsmurs you need to discuss this with your husband.

What did you spend the money on when maxing out your cards whilst on mat leave?

If it was on frivolous stuff then you'll have some explaining to do but if it was general living expenses due to your reduced income then why didn't your husband help out?

Where did he think the money for your contribution was coming from?

Any agreement you try and make with your creditors will affect your credit rating and, if your finances are linked to your husbands, his will be affected too.

This isn't something you should be struggling with on your own if the money was just to live on.

It was entirely my fault. I was spending just as freely as I had been when I was in full time employment with the added cost of a child. My DP wasn't to know as I kept it completely to myself. I maxed out credit cards that had long since been paid off and took out loans to cover those. It's all a big mess.

Honesty is still the best policy.

Yes he'll probably be angry but the chances of him not finding out about this at some point are slim to none.

If you share finances then you entering into any kind of repayment plan will adversely affect him as well as you.

Youre not the first person to be in this place and won't be the last.

Talk to your DH.

If he is paying 75% of the household costs there is very likely to be a way around this.

Debt consolidation is NEVER the best way
you just need to sit down with your DH and run through the real situation
its tough
fwiw due to loads of stuff my family has NO readies will wednesday

please
please
please
be open and honest
hidden debts are INVARIABLY bad

Agreed
Be honest
We all make mistakes

We were doing well til more house woes
Roof needs fixing and blinds needed for conservatory roof - we have saved half
Already
We also had to get a new sofa - ours fell
Apart got a really cheap ikea one but it's still £££ that we didn't want to spend
We still have the balance of our (uk) holiday to pay and summer expenses like new uniform/school shoes etc
Dh should get his pay rise this month!!
Thank god
My wages are still wrong - I'm on contract now and Hmrc have put me on ANOTHER emergency tax code!
Should get it back this month
Hope everyone else is ok X

Hi all - I was on this thread 2+ years ago when it was "mutual support" and I found it very useful. Since then I've paid off about 40% non-mortgage debt by just ploughing away at payments. CC is paid off but credit history crap so can't get another one. I generally save for things now or pay up front in instalments ! Skipped holidays (abroad) last year but went away this year.

My dilemma is this - I was hoping to consolidate 2 remaining old loans into 1 credit union loan & get them off my credit record etc so took out small loan with credit union & built up some history with them. That's now paid & I was going to leave it a few months saving then approach them for loan. However I'm suddenly finding us askew money wise. Hols were in June (traditionally my over spending area !) and I paid up front for everything saved spending money counted every penny etc ! But also used too much "bill" money & basically came home owing about e400 in bills. Also changed utility provider & they slapped on a few charges for late payment now threatened with debt collector. On top of this the house is falling apart need plumber also need Windows fixed & car needs a service (nct due).

I follow Dave Ramsey & I never ever seem to be able to save 1k. I even put e20-30 Aside for emergencies & nearly always spend it within a week. And tbh it's always on groceries so I reckon I'm underbudgeting in this area (in fact I know I am as we spend about 50-60% national guidelines). So this is a bit of a cause of stress ie getting to payday nothing in the fridge etc. Kids getting bigger always "starving ! " (not to mention unforeseen school collections days out etc)...

Anyway I'm wondering - should I take out a small loan with the CU say 3k pay off all outstanding bills, get the Windows toilet & car fixed & put aside an emergency 1k? This would mean no access to a consolidating loan for 1-2 years (CU my only hope). Or do I pay the bills late, put up with toilet (just not flushing we have 3) put up with Windows (it's been 2years at least anyway !) & put off nct as long as possible & try to consolidate early ?

I have no way of getting 1k otherwise there's nothing here to sell (apart from engagement ring !)

Thanks for listening

I follow Dave Ramsey too
In your position then a CU could be a good bet if you are not in a position to get a 0% cc - some great deals out there atm.
Well done on paying down your debt!
Things here are ok ish
I might even end the month in the black for the first time in years
However...we have had to spend quite a bit on house stuff - even buying low cost budget stuff it still costs £££££
I'm especially worried about it since the EU ref result and economic fallout
Things I've done since I last posted;
Moved the boys stocks and shares trust funds to cash isas - they should at least gain interest even if we don't manage to add to them this year
Set up separate savings accounts for dh and me - I can't put much in but am going to get into the habit of putting something in every month
We aim to build a £1k buffer (a la Dave Ramsey) then throw all spare cash at the cc debt
I'm being much more aware of what I spend too...fewer coffees and buying silly things I don't need
Summer hols here from next Friday so that will be spendy
Hope everyone is ok and not spending too much!!

Have to say I'm a big fan of credit unions...wish we had more of the in the U.K.!

Sounds good - nice to have some company on the thread ! I decided not to go for another loan yet will stick to the plan & just put up with the house falling down until then ! 🙄 It's all such a struggle all the time. I wish I could save that 1k I world feel so much better.

I've decided to start selling stuff on ebay (again !) to build up my Dave Ramsey 1k... Need to find some things that are worth more than their postage !

Oh I've gone right off e bay 😡
It's good if you have high quality or designer stuff to sell which I don't
Dh sold some of his models last year and got good prices
I have also sold some nice kids clothes over the years but with the postal charges now it's barely worth it
I used to get some real bargains for the kids but now people seek rubbish and charge you £5 postage!

We have £500 of the £1k but holiday next week so don't think we will be adding to it this month 😞

The charges don't really make it worth it but I'm going to put everything I can find on it (that's relatively easy to post) and I might make a few quid pay for something ! I'm looking around for a car boot I would have the guts to do but charges are min €20 plus €5 for a table. Someone told me before they cleared about €100 for freezing for hours.

I have a confession - I've never been to a car boot!!
Yet more spends today...school rugby shirt for ds1 - compulsory apparently yet I know loads of parents won't bother
New waste paper bin for front room - then I'm re using the current one in the bathroom
Roof blinds have arrived!!!!!
No idea when we will have time to actually put them up!
Hoping to not spend too much on hold next week - I won't be able to take much with me

Maybe budget your daily spend & stick to it for hols that's the best way !
Grocery budget was very tight this week & me & DH just had a row about letting the kids eat snacks from meal plan etc 🙄I hate arguing over food !!

Car boots can be fab IF its a good one.
Go to it a couple of times and compare the stuff on the tables at start and end of the day.
Pre price nothing - haggling is all
and be ready to sell to other sellers before the gates open
have fun

I should do that - danger is if I go I'll want to buy stuff

I'll also have to work on some Dave Ramsey-esque side-hustles. Exhausted thinking about it 😃