Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Ignore me I over reacted it wasn't that much & did mainly go on groceries. Tired of worrying over money !! Tip - a holiday in the sun fab.

Snowie- I know what you meant! It's like you're looking to be failed as past history has taught you this is what happens.

snowie
I take it the cash was drawn on a debit card not a credit card?
please, please say yes?
Cash on credit cards is a legitimate reason for murder in IMHO !!
BUT
It is really hard to adjust to trusting each other financially again.

I'm married to a wonderful man who would spend everything we had if ever I told him how much it was.
So I don't.
So it is safe
IYSWIM

shall quietly own up that I'm going to the Caribbean for a week

Tip a debit card tg I have fully paid off & closed our only remaining credit card that keeps me happy when I only have a fiver until payday as always !!

Making real progress this year but will miss our holiday. Never mine one year is fine !! Will save properly for one next year & can still do something.

bump

TIP - enjoy your lovely and deserved break

Snowie we are going this year but it is very unlikely we will next year. However, when the card is gone, I am going to start a proper saving fund that will hopefully allow us a big holiday like Disney in a few years.

Hi all,
Sorry I've been distracted - a real world saving a chap from eviction onto the street intervened. I've done what I can.
Flying early in the morning.

The holiday that you have paid for in advance is infinitely more satisfying than the one you know you have to pay for during the months after you get back.
Hang on in there : its worth it.

THank goodness for sunshine - entertaining little kids with big paint brushes, buckets of water and the outside of the house costs nothing a

Kinky ditto here for (euro) disney what age can you bring kids up until they'll probably be teenagers :)

Dilemma - I need to lose weight have tried everything - alan Carr audio book, food combining, etc I'm about 10lbs officially overweight & a stone over where I was last year I think mainly over eating from hating my job :) however I've since moved & now can't stop. Also suffering fatigue etc so just can't get off the couch after work (esp all the housework when home!) to do high impact exercise.

Anyway I was thinking of joining weightwatchers as I need some external pressure to help. I have no will power ! However I don't know if I can justify the expense. It's e20 to join & e10 every week plus e5 if you miss it. Being on a very tight budget it's a lot to spend but I can't see anything else working. Anyone ?!

I'm pretty sure tip will recommend 5:2 diet.

I don't know what the answer is!

snowie
I would indeed suggest that you jump feet first into the 5:2 threads on here.
BigchocFrenzy is our mum / drill sargeant
The current thread is herewww.mumsnet.com/Talk/fasting_diet/2330158-5-2-Thread-number-51-Whoever-said-nothing-tastes-as-good-as-skinny-feels-obviously-never-tasted-ice-cream-or-chocolate-5-2-is-for-those-who-enjoy-good-food-and-dont-want-to-diet-every-damn-day?
Read the OP on there thoroughly
5:2 is free, you can stop and start and you get to eat really well at least one day a week. What's not to love.

I tried it unfortunately before & ate my own weight on the 5 days so had to give up ! I just used it as a license to eat :( plus I'm slightly anaemic so can't do light days !

snowie
You can do it.
Self control with eating and self control with spending are the same mental process.
You have a weekly budget - be it calories or money. stay within it.

I'll think about it I just think I'd find the 2 days too hard with work & kids etc !

You manage no spend days - its the same mindset.

True although I'm a bit worried about the starvation I did food combining earlier this year & lost 10lbs in 3 weeks did well skipping carbs most days but then got bad kidney infection couldn't shake it ! Since then reluctant to do anything like that. Also I have a commute to work couldn't risk feeling weak from hunger lol. Then weekends busy with kids - ditto.

Excuses moi ?!

You cannot starve : you have 10,000 calories stored on the back of your hips
Get yourself over to the 5:2 thread, read how other newcomers are coping and BigChoc will look after you.

But seriously : money control and food control are an identical mindset - its all about delayed gratification and evaluating consumption on a longer term basis.

Thanks Tip I'll give it another go I can easily drink tea for a day

Morning all. It's been manic here, had a major project to finish before I could go on maternity leave, but it's all done and today is my first day of leave, woo hoo! Have baked some scones already (not too bad for a first attempt) and I'm now sat with a cup of tea, contemplating what to do next.
Money-wise, we're doing ok. Corporation tax savings worked and I've just drawn out all the money saved for that so DH can pay it tomorrow. From next month he will be giving me £1150 a month as standing order to put into savings, this will cover corporation tax for next year plus his VAT bills as well. I've saved £1700 towards maternity leave so far, and will continue to put £800 a month in for the next five months. I've also managed to get sharers for one of my horses, and my horsebox, which means £150 a month extra coming in between them, and my costs go down because horse sharer is mucking out on her days, so I don't have to pay someone to do that horse on those days - saving about £16 a week. Also, from hopefully 5 weeks time, I'll be back to doing all mucking out myself (assuming baby arrives on time), so outgoings will drop by about £360 a month. I'm going to use the extra money to clear the small overdrafts I have on two accounts £150 and £300 respectively, then build up a buffer in each account of maybe£200 that I'll treat as my 'overdraft' going forward, and close the overdrafts themselves down. There's still £800 on the credit card, but that will be paid off between us at end of this month. And the account I run my tenant house through now has just over one months mortgage payment in it as a buffer, although I've got to pay £165 next week for some repairs. I'm going to build that up over the next 5 months to be two months mortgage payment. Luckily, the house is in an area where there is massive over-demand for 3 bedroom properties (backs onto a park, within catchment area for three great schools etc) so I've always had tenants move out one day and new tenants move in the next day usually, but I'll be happy with a two month buffer. Once all the buffers are in place, then I need to start saving for our holiday this summer - we're driving in our motorhome to Italy for 3 weeks, so we won't need loads of money, so still need a bit saved. And DH will also be giving me money for maternity savings from end of this month, I think £1000 a month, so by the time my full pay runs out at end of August, we should be in good shape all round.
Only blip has been household account ending up empty at end of last month - DH went ballistic, and said he thought I was budgeting, and why does it always run out - until I pointed out he had gone out and spent £110 out of the account without telling me until he'd done it, and I didn't have that kind of buffer in that account, hence why it ran out....he is appropriately contrite .
I think that's me all up to date!

Has everyone been blowing the budget on Easter eggs?

Sounds like you're ricking over nicely Jonty.

We've had an awful week. DH finally had first week off in over a year and we were due to spend it going out for lots of walks and heading to the coast. Instead, DS got tonsillitis for the first time ever, ran a huge fever for days and ended up being assessed in hospital. He's home with lots of meds, but our week has ended up comprising of lots of cuddles and films on the sofa. I've blown the diet, bought takeaway for the first time in ages and feel thoroughly fed up. Lots of broken sleep has not helped. The next few weeks at work are going to be really hard going, so was looking forward to this time giving us all a break.

So, I'm in a moany, sorry for myself, little cloud of gloom mood. At least DS is picking up and we might manage some days out next week, but DH is back to work. Sigh.

Also, DH went for an interview for a job closer to home. Please keep everything crossed for him as it would make a huge difference, not in terms of money, but getting rid of awful commute that can be at least 3.5 hours each day.

ticking over nicely even!!!

Fingers x kinky.
Our easter break has not been that great either...both dc run down and Ill. Dh away for the first part too.
Spend wise not too bad...£2 for a craft morning at church on good Friday. Ds2 enjoyed that :)
Did easter lunch here so £25 for food for that.
Then a couple of spends at the co op for food...my eldest can eat more than me! We also did some baking.
But tbh they have just wanted to chill out and I have been happy to let them :)
We met up with their cousins one day and did macdonalds (my sister paid) and then they had a football match.
My pils took them to parks etc a couple of times.
Oh, and Dh took them out yesterday for the day...they took a picnic lunch so no spends there.
BUT last month with bil being so ill and me having to make lots of phone calls etc my mobile bill was double what it normally is :(
Sigh.
I have sold a few bits on e bay but really didn't get much for them.
I might see if I can list a few more things that are too small for ds2 now.
APRIL is a bit of a nightmare month for me really...6 b days! So that's £50 cash gifts and cards.
The wedding is on May 1st and I have borrowed a dress from my sil :)
Iron broke :( but I got a great deal on a steam gemerator one for £49!! £100 off! Very pleased with it.
Need to pay the holiday balance next month but that's in the savings account already.
I have applied for a weekend job at a local hospital.
Not ideal, but nothing is.
Fingers x

Hi all well easter break was nice did a few nice things with the kids. Tired now after the weekend of housework & laundry etc ! Feeling a bit overwhelmed as usual stretching the budget until next payday despite not having overspent. Sigh. I have to tightly budget for the summer it will be hard not going on holidays the kids keep asking but unless we win money it won't happen this year !

I keep dropping off the thread. Bumping and marking place. Not mentioning splurge spend yesterday.

Pass grip please.

Hi kinky I probably put people off with my moaning

good (ish) news here we can probably afford a week away & have booked same - delighted - makes a huge difference to mental health & reasons to go to work in the morning! I just have to stick to the tight budget until then but it's doable !

Hi all, I'm alive.
Just logged in and had no active threads !

Interesting staying in a third world country for a week (small Caribbean island)
Their electricity for a very, very basic house is £180 a month.
Hot water comes from electric elements wrapped around the shower head.
All other taps are cold only.
Less than 1 in 10 shops has electricity - chiller cabinets only in the BIGGEST stores (tinned milk in my tea)
No NHS
No state schools beyond age 11
30 mile journey = allow 1 1/2 hours
No earnings for 80% of the population for 5 months a year
hence only the 30 biggest businesses take plastic of any sort

On the other hand it was jaw droppingly beautiful, the people were wonderful, the water was delicious, the food and beer scrummy

but being able to swing past Sainsbury's on the way home from the airport meant more than it ever has before.

The UK is a really good place to be based.

On the other hand the inequality here is deeply galling.

How are you all doing at getting into the right hand half of the curve?