Hello all.I was hooker29 but have re-registered since the hacking.
I last posted a while ago and things were really shit then-well, they're still fairly shit, but improving!
DH's health is not brilliant-he has osteoarthritis, and psoriatic arthritis, which is psoriasis in his joints and is incredibly painful;his ankles, knees and hips 'burn' constantly. He has to use 2 sticks when we're out and about, gets tired quickly and has to rest when he can.He's had 2 MRI scans which shows his condition is getting worse;has seen a podiatrist twice because his feet are deteriorating due to his condition and his arches are breaking down.He also has pstosis which means the muscles behind his eyelid are weakening and it droops-he may well need surgery in time to come.Anyway, despite all this, he was still turned down for PIP;the guy who 'assessed'him (will use that term loosely as it was all done by letter not face to face) decided he wasn't ill enough. DH is 46 and feels about 106.
Anyway, he has managed to 'secure' work. He applied for,and was taken on, as a casual caretaker at our local secondary school.The pay isn't brilliant, but it's only a 4 minute walk (albeit a long,painful one for him!) from home so there's no travelling fares to pay.Although he's been full time since he started, we desperately want him to be taken on permanently-he loves the job-but, as he's still casual it means that at any time he can be told he's not needed anymore. The downside is that it has a massive effect on his health;by Wednesday evening he practically falls through the front door, has his tea, and goes to bed.It's done a lot for his morale though,and has taken some of the stress off me.
Thanks to my Father-in-Law, we did have the holiday that we booked at the end of last year.We have a tourer,and we went to a campsite in Cornwall for 2 weeks. FIL gave us spending money, my mum gave us some, and my brother paid for our petrol-I was stunned by their generosity; my brother just shrugged and said "That's what families do". I was incredibly stressed before we went, which I didn't actually realise until we'd been there a few days.I'd been the sole breadwinner for over 7 months,with no benefits whatsoever,worrying about money and also worrying about DH.My daughter was having trouble at school from some other girls, and DS was doing his AS levels. I'd developed clusters of boils between my legs, and sores in my mouth.I'd also developed a bowel issue-my stomach constantly churned all the time;it woke me up at night and I'd be on the loo 3 or 4 times a day.I began to think there was something seriously wrong with me! Anyway, since the holiday, it's all cleared up and I really don't want to feel that way again.It was awful.
Anyway......financially,obviously anything he brings in is a bonus! I've set up a SO to pay the 'next' account, and transfer £300 a month to pay for food-it means a lot to me to do that because my Mum was buying it.It has to be the worst feeling ever not being able to put food on the table yourself for your kids. We're back to paying the full amount every month for the mortgage;have to say that our mortgage company have been fantastic-extremely helpful and supportive. We have the equivalent of 2 months arrears to pay as well, which I don't think is that bad, considering we lost DH's income overnight.
My kids have been amazing-they know money is extremely tight,and I give them bits and pieces when I can,but they don't complain. We rewarded them by taking them to a theme park on holiday-i got a voucher for 10% off and very cheekily got DS in as a child ( although he's 17 and 6ft 3ins tall it was very funny!). I actually got very emotional watching them have fun together-they deserved every penny of it. The rest of the holiday was cheap and cheerful, but they had free Wifi, so were happy!!
We still have a long way to go, but, hopefully (please cross everything for us), DH will stay where he is and things will continue to improve, albeit slowly.
This little corner of Mumsnet is great-like many others on here, no one really knows the extent of our problems, but it's nice to be able to write it down and get it off my chest.Thank you x