Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Hello all....

Haven't posted for ages and feel like I've well and truly lost track!

Basically the short of it is that our ds aged nearly 3 has been referred to the paediatrician for autism assessment. We felt something "wasn't right" for a long time now and I think a lot of my stress and struggle with money was due to trying to cope with ds and his additional needs as well as everything else. It all came to a head and we saw the gp and we are now on a waiting list to see the paediatrician.

Along with this we were advised to apply for disabled living allowance for ds, which we did and we had a decision maker call today to say that we should have a decision by the end of next week - which is astonishing considering how long other people are waiting. To get middle or high rate dla for ds would be life changing for us in terms of income - one of the main reasons I never returned to work was because I felt no one else could cope with ds.

So there we are. .....!

On the other hand. .. The bloody rotten house strikes again and we have a blockage somewhere and both toilets not flushing properly ! So looks like I'm going to be on the phone to dyno rod tomorrow!

Hope you are all well. Going to read back when I have the chance.

fairy
Bill Gates is autistic
Steve Jobs was autistic
Warren Buffet is autistic
autism is a difference, not a disability .... if the UK system will support you with him, go for it, but be willing to let the experts take him off your hands

Thanks tip. It's been quite an emotional time for us all, it's like adjusting to a new "normal" but we will get there! :) ds has some very strange behaviours (obsessed with road signs of all things!) and struggles to cope with music / noise / busy places so my life is very much led by his rigid routine (nap every day in the dark in his bedroom 1-3).

I've been getting advice and support from the lovely lot in the special needs section and am learning more everyday and trying to be a bit kinder to myself (and ds too, rather than getting so frustrated by our life).

My DD is autistic. She will be 17 in August. She is very bright, but struggles horribly with the social aspects of life and hypersensitivity. Emotionally, she is half her real age. It is tough, but she is wonderful and I wouldn't change her. I do worry what the future will bring for her though. At the moment, we are investigating the new educational statements as they are valid until 25 now and I'm not sure she will manage going to university without someone to guide her every step of the way. She is super bright, but would not be able to catch a bus/find a room/cope with crowds - she would sit in a corner and cry. However, the world is evolving all of the time and institutions are become so much better informed about autism that it should become easier for our children to access the world. fairy.

Talkin it sounds like an eye-opening experience, but also a very beautiful one. Pleased you had a lovely break .

Snowie you are fine to moan - that is why we are here! Great news about the holiday.

DD is obsessed with dolls and SIMS. SIMS stays on the computer, thank goodness, but the dolls are taking over the house.

Thanks kinky your dd sounds lovely :) hopefully you can source the right support for her and she will go on to achieve her full potential. .... I'd do anything to be surrounded by dolls lol all we get here is road signs non stop! :) anything for a change. ...! (Ds currently wants to spend entire days looking at various roadsign catalogues and little road sign toys he lines up and moves about and when we go out anywhere he will literally ignore everything else apart from signs which he then won't leave alone! )

Hope everyone has good weekends. Tip sounds like you had a good trip reading back :)

I haven't had a chance to catch up with all the other posts yet but hopefully now things are a bit more settled and I know what direction I'm going in I can be more involved again with you all x

For a while it was Living Dead Dolls. They have died thanks to horrible accidents and come in a coffin. We have about 80 of those. She's now moved onto Monster High and Ever After High, so they don't traumatise poor DS as much .

www.google.co.uk/search?q=living+dead+dolls&biw=1366&bih=643&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=JBsyVYHJFueM7Abx7oGIBg&sqi=2&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ

I think everyone on here knows she had cancer. When she was in hospital, we had to have a load of those little beauties lined up next to her bed! If anyone asked her about them, she would talk their ear off for hours.

My fitted wardrobes are filled with coffins...

I also knew one child who was obsessed with hoovers.

Fairy, my neighbours nearly three year old DD has just been diagnosed autistic, the main indicator that something was up is that she doesn't talk. I'm sure it must be hard to get your head round initially, but at least there are things that can be put in place to help your DS and support you, and schools now are increasingly aware and able to support autistic children and their parents. Be prepared to fight for what you're entitled to.

tip glad you enjoyed the break. My DS1 is 12 today and I'm so glad I had him here, in hospital, because fifty years ago or in another part of the world we would both have died in childbirth.

Nothing to report here yet, waiting for DH to be paid, don't know how much his monthly wage will be yet as we don't know how much he will lose for the car, so in limbo for a few more days. Hoping they get his tax code right too! Added up the CCs and debt stands at £15k which is more than I thought, but hoping to be clear, straight and have some savings in place by the end of next year. It's over six cards, one of which will be paid off this week as we are selling the runaround car tomorrow. After that is a 0% card which runs out in July then I start hitting the higher interest one. New budget from May once I have exact figures to use and I'm going back to cash as I'm not very controlled with cards in that I lose track of how often I use them! It's all doable, just need to stay focused and live below our means to get the debt paid of asap.

Have a good weekend all, back to school on Monday!

Hello all, I've been away from MN for almost 4 weeks as was travelling for work then away with DH in the USA. Back to earth with a bump today as DH is back at work and I start on Wednesday.
Huge difference - came home, signed into CC account and pretty much cleared it with savings we had kept back for the holiday. There's a small amount left as a "pending" transaction which DH will pay off as soon as it shows up properly, I didn't want to pay it as when I have done that before it turns out that it wasn't pending and I ended up in plus figures on the CC!

kinky I loooved those living dead dolls as a teen, I had about 10, they are really collectable now, the early ones especially, I sld them on eBay when I was a poor student and I think I made about £35-50 per doll! Not that I am suggesting you sell them of course

I bought one for £120... I would much rather be selling them

I don't post much but just here with my pay day check-in. My target this month was to get debt to 25042 and have managed 24969 so have done better than planned. In the last 2 months I've managed to pay almost 1K each month. I can't believe I'm finally winning the battle!

WELL DONE afterthought
if you can hold steady at that rate, debt free day will start looming on the horizon - and the longer you are in the habit of living your means, the easier it will get.

Peonies
Good to hear from you and I hope you had a nice time travelling.

Kinky
I love the idea of those dolls in the hospital. You've got to laugh or else you cry as they say.

Hi all

Peonies welcome back & how is your health ?

Jickchick - friends have autistic children & without knowing much about it myself I know there are varying severities which means the individual will need lifetime care. I hope your friends will be ok.

Tip & fairy - as usual I'm looking for help/validation.

I had planned on sending the kids to a camp for a week which would cost about the same as I just spent on necessary sports costs & some other items. Sigh. I had the whole summer budgeted to justify the holiday cost but then realised I'd left out the sports fees...

Hi snowie I've been really well now since my surgery (which was in late Nov 2014) so I am really happy. Thanks for asking

tired, slightly pissed TiP here
but I did turn 50 today

so , amid the tumbleweed, it would be good if everybody (including the lurkers) could pop an update - good, bad, otherwise
as my hunches on the weight loss mindset stuff got proved right in the press today
it will be interesting to see whether the same method does work with debt ....

Happy birthday [TiP] . Hope it was a good day of celebrations.

Ticking on here and doing a payday dance.

I don't know why I bracketed. I am very tired today!

Haha [tip] should bring up a frugal emoticon!

Hope you had a lovely day yesterday.

All is well with us. Job situation is great. Debt being paid off at approx £900pcm (all on 0%) Savings pots for emergency, holiday, car repairs etc doing well.

Fewer money arguments all round. I'm following Dave Ramsey plan and have YNAB. It's been a revolution in this house.

I've been paid finally for the extra work I've done.

Debt currently at £14233

Have a good Friday everyone!

Hope you had a lovely birthday tip

I should have an update this weekend, I got paid yesterday which includes annual increment point, will have another rise in June.

Today should be DH's first payday!

Sold the runaround last weekend so that money is in an account to clear the NW cc when the May bill arrives.

It's such a relief to feel that we will be ok in a few months. Not rich, but 'straight' if that makes sense. Then we have to get prepared both for short term disaster and longer term security. But baby steps for now, we'll get there!

Hi all happy birthday Tip

Well update here - ticking away nicely. Delighted we've planned a holiday & already planning euro disney next Spring plus week self catering again here. Debts @ €40k approx still but one CC dead & focusing on 0% loan of €10k which has caused me major grief in the past. Payments €250pm agreed but paying €300pm & increasing to €400 in July. Then will try and kill it early. After that €7k old CC @ 0% then last loan (consol kitchen/car of old) of approx €23k to pay off. Interest approx 7.5% but it's performing & the others are effecting my rating so need to clear ASAP.

That's my update ! I have projected cash flow & outgoings for the next 3 months & really want to get to a point where not lurching from payday to payday instead just spending budgeted amount. Budget is €100 for groceries & € 50 for petrol each week.

I've been having some substantial blips.

However, I've put a plan in place and on we go .

Feeling positive.

Lurker updating :) Happy Birthday Tip!

All going ok here, not quite sticking to my strictest budget version but slowly getting there and haven't been going too crazy with spending either. It is nice to see the CC balance start to come down and chipping away at it. Got a small payrise at work yesterday so that little extra bit will help over the year. We were away for 2 weeks and I can't believe how much of a difference it made to the electricity bill. Have economy 7 with storage heaters which I had left on low so it's the day to day usage that must cost heaps. Speaking of which, off to check bank account balance and budget spreadsheet.

Quick update from me:
Credit card debt at just under £1k but I have a plan for clearing that over the next 2—3 months. Maternity savings are on track, and next week DH starts giving me his monthly savings amount for corporation tax and VAT, so we don't have an emergency next time a bill is due. I've also found a sharer for one of my horses and for my Horsebox, which is bringing in an extra £150 a month, and reducing livery costs by about £20 a week, as sharer is doing mucking out for that horse on her days. My current plan is that by end of August I will have all my maternity savings done, credit card paid off, both current and horse account out of overdraft (and overdrafts cancelled) and some 'buffer' amounts of a couple of hundred quid each in both accounts. I might feel like a proper adult then Two potential spanners in the plan - we're supposed to be going to Italy for three weeks in our motorhome in August, so need to get money aside for that, and my Horsebox sharer says the gearbox is acting clunky, so I need to take it for a test drive and hope it's just her driving and not the gearbox! However, at 9 months +1 day pregnant, it's a bit difficult to get up into the cab just now!
I stopped using my budget tool and have gone back to a looser way of managing the money - I was actually getting really anxious and stressed by it, even when things were fine, and I didn't feel it was healthy while pregnant. We're doing ok mostly, so I think this way works better for me.
And happy birthday TiP!