Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Snowie I think some flexibility is needed when considering this is a long-term change. It's like when you diet and restrict everything, then fall off the wagon big style. I did that a few years ago - had a very frugal year, paid about 18k off debts and then DD got sick and I went crazy with spending. We did everything, including a mega holiday to Disney that must have been about 20k to celebrate when she finished chemo. I think we are all better to extend the repayment period a bit and live a little. Like I said to DH yesterday, we could choose to be ultra frugal for 3 or 4 years and burn through what we owe, start to build a cushion of savings, build equity in the house and then book holidays, but DS is getting older all the time and we won't be having more DC. We want to do some things whilst he is little. I want to take him back to Disney, but we will be saving this time and looking for a cheaper way to do it, which won't be hard . Animal Kingdom Lodge was lovely though..

Talkin Hope that the roads are kinder today . As for the plane, I know how you feel. I try to think of all the crew still getting up and going to work, all the business people on daily flights, and all the holidays that have gone already since the incident. It is just one of those things that nobody could control. I am an anxious flier, but, ultimately, I get in a car every single day and drive at 60mph, trusting other people to use the road as they are supposed to. Plus, it's your holiday! Sun? Fun?

Kinky
You are utterly right with the diet analogy.
I do 5:2 - so that I am strict 2 days a week, restrained 3 days a week and relax 2 days
on an annual basis I fast strictly 24 weeks a year, fast roughly 24 weeks a year and let rip 4 weeks a year.

If spending was managed similarly, debt could be avoided.
For those in debt, its tougher as you are paying down as well as living,
but adding a year to a 5 year schedule is not really a big thing if it saves marriages and sanity.
The main thing is that all of the family stick to the journey together.

No driving today. The gym beckons. Bliss.

Hi All,

Been pretty good with money on the whole but booked some theatre tickets for the Easter holidays today. We're not going on holiday like we usually do so I want a few special days in place. We're going to see Charlie and Lola!

I've had an okay week - school has been fine and my colleagues have been supportive. Keep falling a sleep at 7.30 - combination of stress and new Meds I think.

I think it will take me 3 to 4 years to pay off my debt at a steady pace. There will be holidays in this time and probably a house move too.

Ursula glad you've been okay at school . Meds do take a while to settle. At least you have things to look forward to.

Hi all. Total debt now at £14233 (all on 0%) down from £45k.

£1k put aside in savings. £500 for Dhs new bike, £500 for emergencies. Debt free date Should be July 2016.

Getting on well with Ynab.

Work situation is interesting. I've done shed loads of overtime, but am really feeling the strain. I haven't been paid for it yet. Thanks payroll . But when I do it'll be a bonus. We haven't budgeted for it, so should go straight on the debt.

We're planning a short trip this year, but not abroad. Not exactly cheap, but like everyone else it's worth budgeting for. Everyone has something to look forward to now

We have £900 pcm going towards the debt. It's bloody exhausting. It'll be the best feeling once it's gone. There's so much we could do with that extra money!

lyinginwait that's amazing! We also have £15k of debt remaining and we're trying to pay off £600 a month. Also all on 0%.

We're having a UK holiday this year too - off to the Lakes for a week in August.

Only paying off £350 this month though (a conscious decision and still more than minimum) as we have nearly three weeks off with the children (2&7) and I know there will be a few days out. I'm not planning anything wildly extravagant and we're national trust and Chester zoo members so there are 'free' days out planned, but after the term I've had a school I really need a complete break - and that includes from budgeting so tightly. But just for a month!

Lying well done how long did it take you from start to now ? I can't afford any holiday this year or any other year if we continue unless we tighten our belts further & that's not really possible !

Marking place.

Attempting a more frugal month this month, which will be interesting given that it is the holidays in 4 days.

I can't wait .

That was last year, but there were 2 cars in there! Both now sold.

I'm being hassled by devil dog. Back later.

Hi everyone
Been a rough couple of weeks here as dh has been away with work - back tomorrow! Hooray!
Dh got his bonus - so holiday is paid for and I am in the blAck for the first time since before xmas!
Have budgeted for April - Easter and lots of b days
Am hoping to have £100 saved for hols too by July

I get paid on the last day of every month. My dh gets paid on the 10th of every month!
I find it very difficult to budget and work things out properly. I just wish he got paid the same day as me. It makes things very awkward. It shouldn't tho should if we both had some bloody self control! Ggrrrrt

We both get paid on the same day, but tbh it still doesn't make it easier

My payroll have mucked up my overtime worked in February. They are just awful. Error after error. Meanwhile I'm £££ out of pocket. Luckily I hadn't budgeted for it yet

Also it's council tax month so its £200 more than we had to find last month.

I'm also struggling with the fact i mc in the autumn.

Lots of thoughts about what could have been, what could be etc

If anyone eremembers I handed my notice in a few months ago planning to locum/short term contracts. Basically I'll be retracting my notice. I've literally been made an offer I can't refuse. Not more money, but less commuting, less childcare costs and a better actual job.

Happy April everyone!

((((( Lying )))))
Doors open and close at different times in lives. Take opportunities, learn from disappointments, but try not to dwell on them.
Seek out the positive.

Chatting to a friend this evening about a lady who is organising a big party for what would have been her son's 18th - he died 7 years ago.
In her head she will then no longer be grieving for a child.
A very strong thing to try to do.

You have the chance to get your work sorted better.
Grab it and go for it.

Term ends tomorrow. Phew.

Yeah the mc stuff has hit me like a train. It's becuase I actually had to hold a newborn last week, and DD also got in on the act. It melted my heart. Not sure what to think tbh.

I knew 100% I wanted the first 2 dc, and now (with 2nd husband) I'm just wavering all the time. And time is not on our side.

I did say to dh that as our debt free date is July 2016, we should agree to do nothing either way until August. That way we'll either be debt free with a baby, or debt free without.

Lying
But look at yourself : you have plan a and plan b - both of which of you ending up debt free and happily married with some kids
you have done so incredibly well
am deeply impressed.

You'll never forget the date. Ever. But the pain will reduce over time

ihavenobrain you need to work out a budget & prioritise every monthly payment starting with mortgage, utities, loans etc & see where it should be paid from. Ideally set up a new, separate account you can pay direct debits from & not worry about the date.

lying ((hugs))

Lying excellent news on job front . I think TIP makes sense about the different plans. Each way is good and the new job should certainly help that.

I'm keeping everything crossed as DH has been invited for a first interview back at his old job. Once again, we made a poor choice in him moving so he lost money, sick benefit and added a huge commute. The job was better, but it has taken its toll. Hoping to get him back. Doubt the money will be the same, but travel should certainly be cheaper.

I feel like we do everything a really long way round.

From now on, luck needs to be on our side!

I know Kinky - it is quiet on here!

Well I've paid off more than the minimum but only just this month. I've gone into spend mode for the holidays and bought tickets for a couple of activities for the children, ordered some holiday reading and a lovely art therapy book for myself.

So ... In some ways not a good month. But nothing on a CC or OD so that's progress?

Just, finally, set up a junior isa ?? for my 2year old DD. DS has one of those government child trust funds. I get a £50 Amazon voucher for joining which will be very useful.

What's everyone up to for Easter weekend? We're off to pet some bunnies this afternoon and make Easter baskets at the local garden centre (all free) and dinner at my mums tomorrow so nothing too exciting x

Hi all. All ok here. Free Easter egg hunt today. DCs out on bikes with neighbours. Had to spend £75 getting the car valets yesterday after DS vomited on thurs night.

I'm owed loads by my employer in unpaid overtime.... Not a big deal as I know it's coming. Just a pita trying to budget.

I think we're going to ttc #3 in the summer after all. Well that's todays plan. Tomorrow could look different!

People!

I thought I had killed it dead .

Feeling upbeat as I have a proper plan.

DH just rehashed a loan and got interest rate down from 7.8 to 3.7 with less time remaining, so really pleased with that.

The plan now is to hit the remaining CC with everything for the rest of the year and then let the 2 loans tick down as both are lower than current mortgage interest rate. Get 60% LTV in mortgage and remortgage. By this time, will be about 5 years down the line and loans will run their course, thus leaving us debt free and much, much happier .

As soon as last CC is gone, I will also put in place some proper savings plans too so we build some more security.

I am feeling happy about this as we are certainly on the right path.

I am less happy about my Easter plans which are basically attempting to deep clean and declutter the entire house.

Spent today sorting out the veg garden.
Am going away next week for a week so need to be organised.

Holidays Talkin? Have a lovely time . Hope money's settled down again too.

Cashflow is exciting at this time of year - DH is owed masses and has little work brewing.
I'm not owed much at all but have three solid months work brewing.
Hence the week in the hot sun that is booked

Bit of a dilemma - very busy week & sent DH out with "the" card to go shopping many time - groceries, Easter eggs for relations etc i had family over (his) etc anyway I checked statement online I think he took cash out for his own use. Confronted him he said no it was for the shopping I sent him for. This used to happen a lot hasn't happened in months. I now have to wait until all the transactions are clear & work back as to everything that was spent etc to prove that it wasn't spent on groceries etc. I see a lot of rows in my future but feel a bit ripped off too.