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Original poster

Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

545 replies

TalkinPeace · 25/02/2015 19:25

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

OP posts:
PeoniesforMissAnnersley · 01/03/2015 14:36

Oh no, baddz that's rubbish! Brew hope it clears up soon and you get some rays!

I pranged DHs car yesterday in a car park, on a metal fence on the Ramps that curl down onto the lower levels, it was such a shock I cried for about 2 hours. Damage is all cosmetic but will doubtless be £££ to fix. So pissed off. Sorry I realise this isn't even relevant but just wanted to rant haha!

Baddz · 01/03/2015 14:43

Oh no!! :(
Some idiot pranged my car door a few weeks ago...I know when it happened...it was when I parked in a local car park to take ds2 to the opticians.
No money to fix it so it will have to stay pranged for a while! :)

Nerf · 01/03/2015 14:49

peonies, lucky you. Cannot wait to hang washing out.
Baddz that is truly rubbish. Is it liveable with ?
Tip - I know I know, but it's lower interest overall and when I worked out how long we'd be paying 870 for it was awful, like fifteen years.

Bearbehind · 01/03/2015 14:52

baddz you'd need to speak to a mortgage broker to see if remortgaging is an option as there would appear to be a lot if stumbling blocks:-

I'm not sure if any lender would allow a remortgage from joint to sole name if you were both planning to live in the house. You may well be better bring named on the mortgage with zero income, therefore also a dependant which reduces your DH's affordability.

Your debts will reduce your affordability as will any children.

It's a very different world trying to get a mortgage now compared to 2011 but it might be an option. Try putting your details into some online lenders mortgage affordability calculators (use ones that ask for all outgoings and debts etc like Nationwide) and it will give you an idea of whether it's an option.

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 01/03/2015 20:25

peonies
sit back and snigger
.....
many years ago I phoned DH at work (landline to landline as mobiles had not been invented then)
to tell him that I'd driven my car into work
it took him a while to laugh Grin

TBH both DH and my cars are covered in dinks - we regard them as work tools that will be driven into the ground
( context - the replacement budget is £35k cash)
cars are JUST tools

OP posts:
andsmile · 01/03/2015 23:55

.

annielostit · 02/03/2015 06:54

It must of been the weekend for car bumps, someone did mine and drive off, nothing good will come to the witch.
You've made me rethink my feelings TiP. I was upset that my car was damaged but its 10 years old and I'm not spending £400 on getting it fixed.
Its like me battered and bruised, but carrying on .thank you.

Baddz · 02/03/2015 12:25

It doesn't bother me. It's just annoying that someone would do that I guess.
My car is 9 years old.
It's a thing I use to get from a to b. :)
Have sold one of my e bay things! £50 at least!
Hurrah!
Am dreading dentist tomorrow as I know I need lots doing :(
By the end of this month Dh and I should be overdraft free and the holiday balance in the bank.
We have a wedding to go to in may which means a hotel room @ £100 (it's a long way away) and new outfits for me and he boys (well...new shirts for the boys anyway)
I am trawling e bay but hope to lose a bit of weight before then.
I am going to have a look through my sister in laws wardrobe to see if I can borrow anything of hers :)
Think we are all ok for our summer wardrobes I think. Phew.
My sister has told me she has loads of school uniform I can have for ds2.

Baddz · 02/03/2015 13:02

Spoken to dh about remortgaging.
We have decided to hold off.
We would be better off short term, but not long term.

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 02/03/2015 19:01

Deferred gratification.
Well done.

OP posts:
Baddz · 02/03/2015 19:10

Tip...I have decided delayed gratification sucks :)
It is, however, the sensible thing to do.
Oh...and I sent my lovely new toilet seat back too :)

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 02/03/2015 19:15

It sucks UNTIL those delays start coming home to roost.
At which stage its all worth it.
Think how cool you'll feel in two years when the good stuff starts piling up on itself.

OP posts:
Baddz · 02/03/2015 19:59

Yeah. Tbh the last 2 years have gone so quickly...

KinkyDorito · 03/03/2015 06:31

My car is 9 as well and has had two lovely dents - one on each side - for years. I feel a bit bad, but I have other priorities and it runs fine Grin.

Snowie2 · 03/03/2015 20:18

Hi all just popping back in to save space. Looking forward to next week - will be paying off credit card with holiday fund. No holiday though but it's major progress. Also closing the account !

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 03/03/2015 20:22

kinky
one of my cars has a dent in the side.
it happened the day we bought it
when the door of the other one was opened a bit fast next to it Grin

snowie
well done on closing down another account

OP posts:
andsmile · 04/03/2015 11:26

Morning - just submitted my first essay of final year of BSc. It was good. I need to get back organising as a few things have been amiss recently. Off to check spreadsheet against bank account!

Lyinginwait888 · 04/03/2015 13:28

Hello everyone.

Well I got offered the job I didn't want Grin so that was nice! I declined gracefully on the basis of travelling. (City journey - very tricky).

I'm just pretty stressed about the whole thing tbh so I have a question...

If you are self employed or take short term contacts or locum, how do you arrange childcare? School age DCs. We have a great after school club that they attend one day each week, but that's on a permant place agreement. They sometimes have spaces for extra.

2 days a week are already covered by family. So that's my existing 3 days covered.

Maybe I just offer what I can do and hold my nerve and hope for the best.

sportinguista · 05/03/2015 17:34

Rejoining for March, so no new debt incurred and existing debts now shrinking only 1 credit card with less than 1k on so hopefully totally doable to pay off before Christmas.

Have started to earn freelance and may have the chance of a maternity contract from May to December. All in all I think the opportunities will come along but boy it's been a rough ride up until now.

One thing i have learned from the past few months is that you don't actually need to have as much money as you think you do. Shock at all the money I've wasted up until now!!!

Well done snowie for closing off that account, you might not have a holiday but the relief of no debt is better.

Off to make a nice pasta with my 55p bargain fresh pasta sauce and free tesco pasta. It tastes better when it's a bargain!Grin

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 05/03/2015 19:50

Lying
When my kids were small I worked less hours and have built up as they got older - but evening working is still a habit.

sporting
you don't actually need to have as much money as you think you do.
absolutely - the difference between need and want is significant Grin

OP posts:
KinkyDorito · 07/03/2015 08:04

marking place Smile

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 08:13

Place marking. .... nowt much to report. Still struggling on. Got into my overdraft a little bit over half term and then dh having 10 days off on holiday, but I'm hoping I should be able to pay it back reasonably quickly. I hope. If I can be good about spending.

Ho hum. Keep going.

UrsulaBrangwen · 07/03/2015 09:34

Hello All,

Sorry I don't post much. I do read!

Kinky are you as exhausted as I am? I know I should be looking forward to the Easter holidays but all I can think about is how much work I have to do. I'm running through these conflict poems for GCSE at lightning speed I can tell you!

Fairy - keep going! It's all we can do. Are things any better with DH?

Well - I haven't put anything on a CC since October. That's progress isn't it? I'm managing to pay off between £300 and £500 per month off debt myself (birthday, life issues depending) and DH is paying £100 as he is useless at budgeting and claims he has 'no money'. After his share of the bills (including minimum payments on his two cards) he has £600 remaining for himself and this does not include the £200 in cash he makes each month with his covers band!! So £800!

I leave myself £50 per week.

He was supposed to be saving all band money for house move, but there is little point (and no pleasure) arguing with him. We had a rough patch when he was out of work and I was so unhappy. He has a good job now and things have been great for over a year - he's been very loving and attentive and I don't want to jeopardise that's even though I think he isn't pulling his weight in terms of our shared goals.

I've just agreed to mark the A Level English exam again this summer so that should make up his shortfall - in part at least. I may just have to put the house move back six months which is not the end of the world.

sportinguista · 07/03/2015 09:37

Yeah I was spending a lot for the sake of spending, much of it in-needed. Some of it was because of depression. Once I removed the cause of that I realised that I didn't need to spend to feel ok. Now I have a really good think about what I need to spend and where.

Strangely Im happier now I have less. Smile

andsmile · 07/03/2015 10:18

someone stop me spending pleeeeeeaasaaasseeee

  • eating out has killed my budget - stressed over uni deadline = tired = not organised = fire fighting (these bloody kids are like chirping birds need feeding ALL the time) and a bit if self medicating with wine hasnt helped.

Shamefully food has been wasted too.

I have some balance transfers available think I'm paying about £70 interest on one card, but have space and an offer to get that moved over.

STILL have

NO oven
One broken toilet
Flatpacked dining furniture

So I'm bloated (from all the utter rubbish) and over budget - why do we dit why.

Sorry for the elf indulgent moan - but feel better for it thank goodness for this thread - you guys Thanks

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