Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Our house has apparently gone up by about 50k in the last year. On paper this means we have 200k equity . I keep looking on right move at what we could get and be mortgage free. It's like a hobby.

There's a reason we stay here though and it's all those things that keep our family mentally and physically well. Proximity to support, amenities etc.

So even though technically we could be mortgage free I still behave very much like a pauper sucking the joy out of every last decision.

I'm working on it too.

We "only" have about £60k equity
Oddly I am quite stingy wrt myself but the dc are a different matter!
Sod it
They can only say no!

I am mortgage free.
Even with that and DH and my earnings I cannot afford to buy exactly what I have in a less manky area.
House prices are an illusion propped up by bad government policy that could be overturned in an hour.
Never remortgage to more than 75% if you can possibly, possibly help it.
UK property is 30% over valued.
THere will not be a "crash" but there may be some adjustments.

I agree tip
It's got to self regulate at some point
Just unsustainable as it is
We would be up to 75% ltv if we did it and I'm ok with that

Unless the bank believe our zoopla estimate in which case it's less

Well that went well
Been refused. Am a bit annoyed as we have £60k equity and an excellent credit record but hey ho.
Soooo
On to plan 2!
Bearing in mind my own issues with my spending and reasons for that (the poverty thread has been a real eye Opener for me tbh) we have decided to;
Put all debt on the cc and then move it to a 0% card. We will then set up a SO for more than the minimum amount.
We should be £200 per month better off by doing this.
I am also going to;
Close the next account
Make sure the cc is in Dhs name only so I can't use it.
Start saving for a small emergency fund.

I am really grateful to this thread and the poverty thread.
I am determined to conquer my emotional spending. I am determined to pay the cc off. I am determined to get a job.
????

I have about £20 equity .

I have to otherwise I would weep.

You are doing well Baddz, the plan and determination!

Thank you kinky.
Zoopla estimates the house at £217k and we owe £141k.
But, as tip says, it's all smoke and mirrors to an extent. by the time the FR ends I reckon we will owe £135k so I'm hoping neg equity can be avoided.

Baddz
I guess at least, because you had been on here and the other thread it was not too much of a shock.
But yes, getting your head into the right place will set you up for the rest of your life.

Kinky
Nearly the end of term ... counting down

Having a stressful few days but am trying to get things under control. To answer your question TiP no I don't currently have standing orders set up for clearing the debts, although I understand that this is the quickest and most efficient way of clearing them!

First priority is tackling the council tax arrears. I've been paying for arrears accrued from last year at £180 pcm, this was due to be finished in August. The council have passed the bill for 2015-2016 over to a DCA for full payment including a 50% surcharge for the property being empty for so long. I've spoken to the council appointed agents today and agreed a payment plan so that it's repaid in 6 months, this does mean that my monthly has gone up to £265.00 but at least it will be gone then. I've asked them to confirm it in writing as I'm not sure that they've accounted for the extra £500 surcharge as this is a separate liability order. I've got a feeling they haven't and that the monthly amount will increase by £83

I'm contacting the owners/DCAs dealing with my cards & loans and will explain the situation and offer an interim payment of £5 per month to be reviewed in 6 months.

I feel sick just thinking about it.

bookworm
Are you currently paying anything on the cards?

No head in sand syndrome, avoided calls, letters piled up. Know it needs sorting though and I intend to pay them all back.

OK,
start today. Set up a standing order to each for £5 a month, starting this afternoon.
because
that way every time they chase you, you owe less than they are chasing for
my standard tactic with HMRC FWIW

Also risk compliance bods love standing orders as they are "real"

then you can call them each next week being able to say "I have already started the standing order"

get your head out of the sand and into the sunshine

Thank you tip, just the kick up the backside I needed!

Enjoy the sunshine all.

So,
Have you done them ?

All been contacted, will sit on laptop this evening and use online banking to set up SO. If I can do that online, if not will visit branch tmw.

You'll feel a whole lot better once you have taken control

Today I bit the bullet and told my DH about my secret debt. He was as I should have expected amazing and it made me realise what an wonderful man I am married to. The relief from not telling him the truth for over 4 years is immense. My debt is undercontrol and I was able to show him that all £6400 should be cleared in the next 18 months. I will be on a tight budget but I want to do everything I can to be debt free so we can look at moving to a bigger house in Jan 2017. I think I will sleep well tonight.

Good to hear monty
TBH he probably read your stress and assumed it was something MUCH worse than debt !

Remember to book yourselves a treat for debt free day as it will be almost as important as your wedding anniversary
as it will remind you both about trust and responsibility together for ever.

Thank you talking in peace. I think the fact he is so good with money made it worse. He just said he was upset that I felt I couldn't talk to him about it. We sat and wrote a plan last night, I transferred to a 0% card and set up a standing order debt should be cleared Nov 16.

WOW, you have got a keeper there
But, you have got to get your head clear about how and why it happened to make sure it does not happen again.

Can I join and get some advice and support ?
I have finally admitted I have completely unmanageable debt and contacted stepchange about setting up a DMP, after years of having no spare cash to buy anything with (last hair cut a year ago) and more recently using payday loans to get by each month enough is enough. (My dp is in the same situation and his has just been given the ok to start this month).
One question I have is I am changing banks due to an overdraft and all my DD will change no debts paid by DD, do card payments automatically change or not ? my payday loans come directly from my card and I don't want this coming from the new account (it should be sorted by payday but just in case) .

Hi Curly
Welcome to the gang, and well done on realising that you need to change.

I've not changed bank in years, but I would suggest printing out a list of all of your regular payments and then writing to both the banks to specify exactly which ones are moving across and which ones are being superceded by the DMP.
Take the letter in by hand - 2 copies per bank - and make each bank sign to say they have received it - you keep a signed copy, they keep a signed copy.
That way if anything goes wrong you have documentary evidence of what was agreed.

Hi again - my laptop has been failing to hook up wifi so havnt been able to get back on..So I returned to the thread after being absent some months. I had slid back into old spending habits resulting in larger overdraft BUT I did keep up overpayments on cards.

So payday has been and gone. I paid extra onto a credit card - only £50 but still. I have ordered all food from Tescos and meal planned the shit out of the budget.

I have budgeted properly for my sons tuition as it wasnt on sheet before - so this is now more up to date. I have found looking at the debt spreadsheet encouraging and it has stopped me from spending on curtains and an October Holiday so far!

The overpayments thing does work we have just paid off out first big card, it was at 7k but no celebrating it was a bittersweet re recent spending. Also since joining this thread some time last year we have reduced out debt but I only tracked from October last year:

we have reduced debt by 5k - from 30k to 25k Just gotta keep on going keeping on.

I have done this by:

0% cards - see Martin Lewis MSE website
Overpayments as per TIPS spreadsheets
Curbing spending - reading minimalists websites
Meal planning - making time to organise is key or else we eat badly and it costs us more.
Seeking out cheaper activites to do with kids - packed lunches.
I didnt buy any clothes for a long time.