Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Hi Snowie, thanks for asking. I didnt just wanna waltz back in and dump so here goes:

It starts with a drip, drip effect...started studying again, I've put myself under a lot of pressure - I have an aim to get into a particuluar type of area that is very competative. It's took me a while to accept tha someone like me is capable - I have my eyes in a very good job. BUT this has meant some organisation has gond out of the window...mostly relating to eating and drinking out.

The overdraft I paid off with a 0% balance transfer (cash) is now back - classic mitak of not getting it removed. My next account has £200 back on it - this relates to a wedding (oh my fuck I resented going to that and the cost - lesson learned - they took the piss out of me)

It was birthday so I had money spent on me, and I celebrated (expensively)

I've started volunteering part time so bough a couple of tops - justified this to myself as it goes towards experience needed for 'big job'

DD has gone full time to nursery but offset slightly with subsidy now.

We have upped the activties the children are doing - there are reasons for this but one in particulary didnt seem too bad but then there were some associated costs we hadnt banked on. DS now has a tutor - a relief to find one and can see him making progress but this has meant some jiggling.

Ive had DM and fathers day this month and 4 parties.

I feel like Im free wheeling from one thing to the next - the kids are fed and have clean clothes, uni work is done, DH has had a lot of support (and I mean lots), house is in a terrible state, so is my diet.

Positive notes:

The first 'big' C/C will be paid off this month, overpayments has worked - they WORK from TIP's spreadsheets
We will make overpayments on mortgage of £410 from this month.
I saved a lot on car insurance recently
We enjoy a good standard of living.

Need to get back to tracking money and meal planning.

thanks TIP too

Ah, so the finances have slid back one little step against the ten huge forward ones you took beforehand.

Well done on recognising that you had to get it sorted before it gets out of hand.

So, the eating out : its hitting your wallet and your waistband.
See if you can be abstemious until the end of term - hat should help, and its a clear target date

Huge grip needed here please - off the rails with eating, in a huge funk and feeling very joyless about life.

I think I take too much on, get overwrought and then slide into misery. I've been ill today too which isn't helping .

kinky
Consider your shoulder firmly grasped

Eating : are you doing a food/mood diary - writing down exactly what you eat and how you feel just before you eat it?
That can help break down emotional eating.

Latter half of the summer term is always a shit time in schools.
Teachers are exhausted.
Exams are done and how they will be judged is no longer in their control.
Weather has been less warm and sunny than some years.
Younger kids are wired

And yes, you personally have got to get a LOT better at saying no to people and things. except me

Thanks Talkin , I'm just wiped out. I'm exam marking now, so no free time and the virus has struck, probably because I'm so run down. I'm covered in spots too. You're also right that weather is definitely not helping .

Sigh.

I definitely do need to say no more. Obviously not to you though!

Hi guys hang in there just a quick post to say I was away with work back now & will post later. Feel rotten & exhausted & have to put the kids to bed & do more work !

Smile - it doesn't sound too bad !! Kids just bleed you dry (in a good way) :)) mine always cause unbudgeted spend. In ways will be easier when they're off for the summer no surprises to pay for from the school !

Smile...I will join you!
Tbh most of my spending has been my damned teeth (still not sorted )
But I have also put more on my nrxt account (school uniforms for next term etc) and am back in my overdraft.
Sigh.
I really wouldn't mind so much if it were frivolous spending but it's necessary dental care and necessary clothes for the dc
We have 18 months till the loan and our fixed rate mortgage ends. I am hoping we could be £500 month better off!
In other news I am being investigated for menopause it would explain why I have spent the last few months putting on weight, crying and wanting to kill dh
Hoping I get hrt (more money per month ) and some ads.
Anyway, no good news but I'm still slogging along
Love to all x

Oh, and have applied for 3 jobs but....heard nothing
Gah

Nice to see you both back (name changer here)

Pay day today. Ynab balances all done. Total debt 13021. Due to be paid off next July. It's a hell of a schedule to get it done but I'm pig sick of it.

This has been a tricky couple of months due to short term drop in income, but income now back up (or rather will be next payday). Reduction in childcare and fuel costs due to new job.

Phew.

Dh back from work trip so we had a chat this morning.
He has cancelled 2 direct debits amounting to £80 a month. Nearly £1000 a year saving.
I can't cancel any...all needed like car tax, ins etc.
We need a plan for the next 18 months til the loan and fixed rate end (we paying nearly 5% ATM!)
Need to start saving for ds2s b day (sept) and of course Xmas.

Debts stand at;

Next £800
Cc £800
Loan £4000
Overdrafts £600

Need to get the overdrafts sorted first. Then both the next acc and the cc paid off (cc was basically my dental work :() next is what I use to buy the kids clothes and uniforms (both have had a major growth spurt and need new stuff for next term :()

Dh has changed the Virgin package too so that's less a month now.

In other news...the landline is broken! Sigh. Mind you, it was an old phone my late dad gave us so I suppose it doesn't owe us anything!

Wish it didn't all seem such a slog.....:(

Baddz
have a look on ebay - you can pick up pretty decent phones for under £10

I will, thank you.

Hello
Quick question....
Do any of you use a cleaner/cleaning service?
How much do you pay?
Is it something you would like to be able to do?
I am contemplating starting a cleaning business...it's one thing I know I do well!
Just not sure if I could make it pay...

I used to - agency charged £13 an hour but think cleaner was paid minimum wage which always struck me as a bit unfair.

Yes we do. It's £12 ph here. They work as a team though so I pay for 1 person to do 2 hours. In reality 4 people blitz it in 30 mins. Marvellous.

It's really popular here. People are always asking on our towns fb page.

I dropped my ironing off this morning : she charges £20 for a big bag, regardless of what is in it.
She teases me as mine is always full of DHs white work shirts!

To my knowledge she turns over around £100 a day fitted around her kids

Cleaners : yup, lots of them but you are competing with the Poles and Lithuanians who are willing to work INCREDIBLY HARD

BUT
"deep cleaning"
eg emptying each kitchen cupboard and cleaning to the back and triaging the contents for the owner
is a premium service that is spreading

there are two business models - cost and differentiation : I much prefer differentiation

Hmmmm
Ironing service.
I could do that.

Ironing is a good one as once you've bought the kit :
my lady has a three level table and a professional iron and a sheet press

she does it in sessions while her kids are in baths or at school or eating supper or watching telly
(single mum of 3, oldest is year 7 - exh decided he was "bored of being a dad")
she is financially independent, but there for her kids
and picks which weeks she does or does not work - all contact is by text

if the market near you is not saturated, go for it

Competing with poles and Lithuanians will be different according to where you live. There's more 'unskilled' work than people to do it around my way. The Cost of living is high here (outskirts of London), so there are many dual income families.

Getting a bit worried about holiday to Greece now... in 5 weeks.

Kinky
You'll be fine but it will discipline you utterly to have the money for the holiday ready up front as its likely to be cash only when you get there.

We're all inclusive for the first time ever. Trips have been paid for. Everything is paid for. Only cash will be incidentals.

TBH, I've tended to always work in cash on holidays until very recent years.

I'm more worried about tension that might come from the crisis.

outside central Athens there will be no tension : they will be just VERY VERY pleased to see you.