Debt mutual support thread number 7 ....... Spring is coming - let the sun shine into your finances and your life

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last six threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2258202-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-6-start-the-new-year-with-a-clear-purpose-and-keep-moving-forwards-even-by-tiny-steps?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Good news today, I have been accepted for a 0% money transfer card which will cover the balance of DHs highest interest card. The min payment will go from £120 a month to £25 which will help HUGELY in being able to bring the overall debt down.

Been number crunching and we should have about £700 a month on top of the amount needed for min payments to go towards clearing the debt! That is allowing DH and I some pocket money each, plus not touching the child benefit which can be the contingency for things like haircuts, birthday presents and school trips etc. I've allowed £500 for housekeeping (food, pet food, toiletries, cleaning, anything householdy), £50 for fuel (I don't use that much so should be plenty) and £40 to cover the badminton and football fees for DS1 and DD on a weekend. All other activities come out as direct debits and anything unforeseen will come out of the child benefit.

Money is taken in cash and put in my version of the envelope system which is a rectangular poppered plastic wallet with cut down file dividers. £1 coins go into the tin and paid in for a CC when full (it holds £60) change goes in the change pot. £2 coins go back in the wallet.

All set, wish me luck!

Back to school tomorrow, inset for us 'just mums' TAs who need to be patronised and talked down to all morning. Goody! Hope everyone's had a nice weekend x

Oh, I don't mean any of you guys think TAs are just mums....that's how the teaching staff describe us (even though some of us are teachers with considerably more experience than the actual teachers!) x

Sigh, JickChick. That attitude really, really pisses me off. I think women who teach with children have to shake that label too, like we aren't as serious as other colleagues, or that if I leave at 3pm, I am a lightweight - totally ignoring the fact I will then go and work at home for 5-6 hours, but at least be in the same building as my children.

To say education is all about the children, it is bloody patronising to mothers. (And I say mothers as I have yet to see a similar judgement cast on a man, not to say this is never the case.)

Kinky / Jick
At DCs primary school 3 of the TAs were mums, who just happened to be former teachers.
One of them regularly got talked down to till she quietly let slip that she used to be a secondary deputy head
it shut the lot of them up for years

kinky I know exactly what you mean! Before I had kids I used to be in school at half past six but be out as soon as I could after the pm bell, then after dinner do my work at home. I used to get loads of comments about leaving early, but this from people who squeaked in for briefing and had no time to do anything until after school. When I had DS1 I was still head of two departments but went to a three day week and I only lost one class so my workload hardly changed but the amount of grief I had from some male colleagues was incredible. Plus, I had no office and they took my classroom away so I had to trail round the school lugging everything with me! bastards I'm sure it's not just teaching where this happens but it really annoys me because, actually, being a mum is one of the reasons I'm so good at my job! I really hope that when I was teaching I never treated TAs the way we get treated by some of the other staff.

tumbleweeds....

Still here.. Been lurking!
Paid off furniture which was on finance and found cheaper car insurance so £120 better off a month.
Still plugging away at the credit cards

Quick question.....if I use the envelope method and have cash left at the end of the month, what do I do with it? Do I just top it up for the next months amount or sweep it towards a CC?

JickChick - first i'd give myself a bloody enormous pat on the back for having money left! And then sweep it towards a credit card!

Agree : always pay down debt because for every £100 you pay off debt you save yourself £20 in interest the following year ...

Kinky
We've got quite a few people reverted back to lurking

• some because they have got their debts well under control
• others because their work situation is so effing depressing they may never get there
• others because they feel down at only paying off small amounts

without realising and praising themselves for the fact that every month the debt does not grow is a month of success

Result here today, I suddenly realised with the 0% money transfer I can clear two high interest ccs rather than the one with the higher overall amount because the two other's min repayments were £70 more! So from this month our mins to all cards will be £240 instead of £360 and I'll have £800 a month extra to chuck at the one remaining high interest card. Once that's gone in a few months the rest of the debt is 0%. Happy with that. Also means that ALL our monthly outgoings are covered by DH, my money is the extra and the CB can be put aside to cover anything else. We have a long way to go but I know it's doable and the relief is huge. Thank you everyone for helping get this far and helping with the shift in habits.
Hope everyone is ok, it's very quiet on here at the moment.
, and un-mumsnetty hugs to those who need them x

Result Jick .

Talkin All of mine is now on loans as the rest is cleared. Not sure whether to overpay or let them tick down over the remaining terms whilst starting to save up and build some security. All on low interest rates, longest is 5 years. I feel like the end is in sight, but my main challenge is not to revert to overspending type now that CCs are gone.

Kinky
but my main challenge is not to revert to overspending type now that CCs are gone.
Which is exactly why debt loss and weight loss are so similar
its about re-training your brain to accept deferred gratification
and to consume what you need / can afford
rather than just because its there

bumping and smiling at all of you

just keeping the tumbleweed moving in a welcoming manner

Yep .

Hi there I haven't been on in ages. Still trying to live within budget but keep getting side blinded by various things. Thinking of trying to consolidate loans into new mortgage but not much out there for less than perfect credit (although past year v good).

How is everyone ?

Hi All,

I'm okay - looking forward to finishing at my current school in three weeks
:)

Still bad with money - wondering when / if I'll ever get better - just can't get through the week without spending. Over spent by £300 this month - I had a budget but didn't stick to it.

There always just seems so much to buy??

There always just seems so much to buy??
But is it stuff you need?

I had a fascinating conversation with one of my gym instructors on Friday - costing up clothing on a pence per wear basis

My favourite boots, which cost me an arm and a leg when I bought them are now under 10p per wear
because I bought them over 20 years ago

Household stuff is the same

Meals out are my weakness : but I try to pick things that I'll not regret spending the money on IYSWIM

I go by the cost per wear/use philosophy too but then I rarely buy anything for myself ! (Violins). I shop in charity shops etc. not too interested in new clothes at the mo as not happy with my weight I need to lose a stone. Tried ww for 5 weeks have given up tracking. 5/2 doesn't work for me. Some of it was tablets I was on so I've come off them.

Anyhoo ! Also spoke to my bank today & no way of consolidating loans. At least I didn't go to the bother of sending an application then waiting ages etc & they were upfront about it too. So I just need up plough on !! So hard !!

Tip - my favourite leather wallet (chesneau) just gave up today it was about €150 7 years ago (mad expensive !!) as a gift so that's about 5c a day :) ironically ill be replacing if for about a tenner maximum :)

snowie
I have rather a weakness for Tula bags .... But I buy them on eBay

I have not posted for months. I have fallen off the wagon and have been free wheeling ever since, down the verge and over the fields.

I hope it is ok to rejoin thread.

Oh no smile what happened ?

Pull up a chair, plonk yourself down and tell us about it.
Of course you are welcome to rejoin.