Debt mutual support thread number 6 ....... start the new year with a clear purpose and keep moving forwards even by tiny steps

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last five threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2193736-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-5-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-is-NOT-an-oncoming-train?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Dashes in to offer firm shoulder to lean on and dashes back out to finish battling with the HMRC server at nearly tax return deadline day

andsmile we've all been there, sometimes being a parent men's being dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Tomorrow is another day, try not to beat yourself up about it. Have some and

Means not men's!!!!

Children have tantrums.
They just do.
They outgrow them.
Firm boundaries, say yes as often as you can, but when you say no, mean it.

Good vibes appreciated for job interview tomorrow

Good luck.

for badzz go-girl, go-girl, go-girl..or is that too much

Thanks jickjack & Baddz - today has been fine parenting wise

I was smug as feck when I trolled down to do school pick up and DD was fast asleep with buggy fully reclined, hood, banket the lot.

Well.... been to Asda, - a shop of two halves really, got booze (non essential) and some clothes for kids inc school trousers, trainers and two sale rack outfits for DD. Whereas the rest was fresh esentials inc 2 x medium chickens for £2.64, reduced sausages (decent ones too!), minced beef and frying steak. So with freezer stuff and my bargains I have about 9 main meals. Baby event I got some toiletries.

I spent £81 - I don't think that is too bad.

Fairy me and DD ate out bakewell tarts, Mr Kipling of course, before we ate out lunch!!! I thought about you..It was my way of showing solidarity.

baddz I was going to say 'knock em dead' but given your line of work that's probably not quite the right phrase!!!

Good luck, fingers crossed for you x

'eat well for less' couple have over 1k of food in kitchen cupboards, feck me!

tv bbc1

Damn we're watching location x3. Will check on I player later

Eh? Did they say they spend £260 A WEEK and they've saved them £70 A WEEK?

Yep, I rewound it and this is what they said.

I am shocked. I think I have made that clear.

Good luck for the interview Baddz! I will have everything crossed for you.

Andsmile I like the bakewell solidarity ... Please don't feel stressed over the dc, at the risk of sounding like a terrible parent I think dc are sent to try us at the best of times. You are doing your best and your best is pretty Damn good.

Hmmm. Ok so deep breath....

We heard back from the builder that inspected for the parish people today. Basically the parish charity said they are unable to help as they only have limited funds - and they have already repaired our toilet for us for £200 which I am very grateful for.... Apparently the main problems with the roof are lack of ventilation and lots of other bits and pieces to do with the air flow. (It was 3 pages long, lots of reccomendations and not a simple job!)

So today I have done some research and found out about some other possible grants including a renovation grant so I rang the council to enquire but have yet to hear back.

If we can't get any help I'm not sure where that leaves us. Borrow more on credit or remortgage or sell really. The annoying thing is the builder didn't provide an actual quote to fix the work just a survey really so I need to contact him to find out a ballpark figure.

On the plus side... The re tile we did is good apparently and there are no tiles loose. So that's a good thing .....!

I have 7p in the food budget to last until Monday. .

I got some tesco value nappies on your reccomendation andsmile and am very impressed

If its ventilation you need post in property/DIY or good housekeeping for PigletJohn, he knows lots about that sort of thing.

kinky really that much - I was putting DD to bed and I didnt see that bit omg. I need to send them my meal plan! To be fair that included their booze?? We have to buy that out of our pocket money.

....Benefits 19 kids and counting...class act tonight me, I am recording Sleb Big Brother. One needs a break from all thos acedemic papers I'm expected to read (now Im a big girl doing level 3!)

here here Fairy you sound in a more constructive mood. Least you know you tiling money was well spent. All that airflow stuff sounds complex. I think it is time to put four headings on piece of paper and do pro's and cons' for each one:

Stay and fix
Sell and buy (?)
Sell and rent private
Sell and rent council

and..consider stay in area or radically think about a move elsewhere?

Do some preliminary research about rental costs. But please remember this situation will change as your DC starts school, as you find yourself available to work. When i read your posts about where you were via divorce to now I can see how you can feel down/frustrated when you have had such a change in circumstances re assets/ownership/financials.

Did you have any luck with shoes? have you absolutly checked everywhere online - I got some clarks for £7 last year, she has only just grown into them. im terrible for stashing bargains away. I got DS some school shoes off M&M direct for £20 - hush puppies, worth a look?

Fairy
On the up side, the loo is done.
On the other up site you have a dispassionate list of what is wrong.
If it is down to ventilation and air flow, the energy company might be able to help.

GOOD VIBES for all the job huners

Baddz Wishing you excellent luck .

and I just thought it was another quite insulting show, like superscrimpers was when it started. When they take someone spending 260 a week on food and show they can 'eat well for less' then still spend 185, it's a bit of a slap in the face for people who genuinely are trying to eat well for less on really small food budgets. It was also amazing how they still spent 185, given all the value brands. That must be a LOT of booze . "Children, you enjoy your cheap cornflakes whilst mummy drinks her Moet! .

Don't get me wrong - it was fab to watch. It gives me a chance to hitch up my judgy pants.

Baddz absolute best of luck today! You'll get it!
Fairy you have information now, which is already a step towards feeling less desperate - and look at you finding other grants etc you could get - bit of a different person than a month who was completely stuck with no idea what to do...it's an awful situation but I reckon you're doing a fab job in the middle of it.
Pay day is here at last!!!!!!! Now that I have a household account budget for the month, and I know February has five shopping Friday's in it, I already know I can only spend 46.40 a week in food. I also now know we somehow always need some small top-up in the week, so my aim is to spen max £40 in main shop, leaving myself £6 a week for top ups. I've just plugged my shopping list into Tesco online to check and I can get the lot for £26, then I'm going to the farm shop for naice sausages, bacon and their lovely (and cheap) frozen fruit that i use on my breakfast. That will be about £10 (it's two weeks' worth of fruit) so that will bring me up to £37 on the main spend.
Having got my first month of proper budgeting out of the way, although it was tricky month as pay days were weird with Christmas in the way, broadly I've figured out I'm not leaving enough contingency. I've built £50 a month contingency into the household budget for birthdays, and extra household bits - like we need a shelf in the nursery and a new doorbell, but as you can see I've already planned how we spend all that contingency for February, which actually means we don't have a contingency! Having said that, I didn't have this much of a plan last month, so I'm going to go with it this month, and see how I end up by the end. If I really do need more contingency I'll have to juggle the household budget.
Finally, really chuffed as DH got an email yesterday saying Stereophonics are on in concert in March as a surprise gig (our favourite band) and asked if we should go. I worked out finances and said only way we could go was by putting it on credit card and I wasn't willing to get into debt for a concert. DH agreed - this is the happiest I've ever been not to be going to a concert! I feel all mature and sensible! have a great day all!

Oh, and I've joined the Tesco Orchard scheme - they give you vouchers for free food, and you have to cook recipes with them and give feedback on their site as a consumer tester. This week I got an envelope with vouchers for meat in - one vouchers that gives me one of the 3 for £10 sets for absolutely free, and three vouchers that give me £2.50 off the same set in future weeks. Which means I probably won't need to buy any meat myself for the next month! All I have to do is spend about ten minutes a week in their website - works for me!

Jonty
That is a COOL scheme - almost worth darkening the doors of Tesco for - almost

Hi all, long time lurker on the debt support threads, and feel brave enough to join in now. I really need to get a handle on our financial situation after burying my head in the sand now for too long.

We're a family of four, 6yo and 1yo DC, with a mortgaged house that we live in, and my old flat which in the past we've rented out. Luckily they're both quite low on the mortgage front but the combination of 2 maternity leaves has left our credit rating in tatters.

When I went on mat leave the first time I was struggling to keep up with the min repayments on cards/loans (taken out prior to my relationship so I class them as my personal responsbility) so I entered into a solo DMP with Stepchange and stuck to it religiously for 5 years and was getting somewhere. When DD2 came around I went into denial and stopped keeping up with my DMP payments (I know, I know this was very foolish) and Stepchange cancelled my DMP. Payments to CC's since then have been sporadic and I need this to change and get to grips with a proper plan.

Apols for the epic first post, needed to get that off my chest!

Hi bookworm at the risk of asking the obvious why not sell your flat you rent out and use any equity in that to set yourself straight with the cc debt? Or would that not be an option? Just thought I'd ask.

I've joined the Tesco orchard thing! Worth a try!

Feeling a little more pro active at the moment. That has to be a good thing!